Laugh at me.

Joke (laughing to death) 1- Teacher: Xiao Xin, please use "dilemma" to make a sentence. Xiao Xin: I was in a dilemma during the exam. Teacher: Are you in a dilemma because you can't answer the question? Xiao Xin: No, left and right students have different answers, which puts me in a dilemma. 2- A college student was caught by the enemy. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, where are you from? I'll electrocute you if you don't tell me! The college student replied to the enemy's words and was electrocuted. He said, I'm from TV University! 3- Sister: "Little sister, what are you doing?" Sister: "I am writing to my good friend Dawa." Sister: "Can you write before school?" Sister: "It doesn't matter, because Dawa can't read." 4- A hunter went hunting in the jungle with his wife and mother-in-law, walked all day, and camped in the depths of the jungle that night. The next morning, my wife woke up and found her mother gone. She quickly woke the hunter and went out to find someone together. As a result, in the open space not far from the camp, they saw a shocking scene: the mother-in-law and a fierce lion were deadlocked face to face. "What shall we do?" The wife asked in panic. "No need!" Mr. Wang replied: "This lion has provoked the wrong person himself, let it find a way to solve it!" " "5- Reporter Interviews Panda: Do you have any wishes in your life? Panda said: Two ideals. First, I have time to see Chinese medicine to cure my dark circles. Second, I just want to take a color photo. 6- When a swimming pool is built in one place, the staff will mobilize everyone to donate. The staff said to an old farmer, what are you going to donate to this swimming pool? The old farmer said, "I donate two buckets of water! Kitten: My mother is a master and my father is a doctor. Xiao Xin: What's the big deal! Kitten: Who are your parents? Xiao Xin: My father is a man and my mother is a woman. A gecko got lost in front of the securities company. At this time, a big crocodile just crawled over and prepared to eat it in one bite. In desperation, the little gecko hugged the crocodile's leg and shouted, "Mom!" " The crocodile was shocked and then burst into tears: "Son, you just lost half a month in stock trading!" " 9- something seems to be wrong. I lost three wives in three months. ""what's the matter? " "The first lady died after eating poisonous straw mushrooms." "Where is the second wife?" "I also ate poisonous straw mushrooms and died." "What about the three?" "She refused to eat the poisonous straw mushroom, because her skull was broken and she died. 10-The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns? "Boss:" Oh, sorry, not that much. " "I see. . 。” The little white rabbit left in frustration. The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have one hundred steamed buns? "Boss:" Sorry, I haven't. "I see. . 。” The little white rabbit left in frustration again. On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have one hundred steamed buns? "The boss said happily," Yes, yes, we have one hundred steamed buns today! ! "The little white rabbit took out the money:" Great, I'll buy two! ""1 1- After the four nuns die, God will decide whether to go to heaven or hell. So four people lined up for God's interrogation. First, God asked the first nun if she had done anything wrong to God before she died, so the first nun said that she had seen a boy's penis. God said, "Never mind, just wash her eyes with this basin of holy water, so she went to heaven after washing." The second nun said that she touched the boy's penis, and God told her to wash her hands with this holy water, so she also went to heaven. When the third nun was about to say, the fourth nun asked God if he could interrogate her first. God asked her why she did this, and she said, "I don't want to rinse my mouth with the water she washed her ass!" " "12-There are two good friends who are inseparable at ordinary times. They should wear the same clothes and clothes to show their friendship. One day, they came to a restaurant for dinner, and the waiter brought them two plates of soup. One plate was embarrassed by a dead fly, and the other plate shouted at the waiter, "Why are the two plates of soup different?" "We want exactly the same thing." 13- The professor in the law class assigned everyone to read articles about civil rights. The next day, the professor asked Tom to say 10 civil rights. Tom didn't answer. The professor said, "OK, say five!" "Tom still didn't make any noise, so the professor had to say helplessly," All you have to do is say 1, and you will pass. " Tom replied, "I have the right to remain silent!" " "14-One day, 0 and 8, 6 and 9 met in the street. 0 disdainfully looked at 8 and said: Fat is fat. Why wear a belt! 6 without looking at 9, he said: Cool is cool, don't stand upside down! 15-A: My two marriages failed. B: What's the matter? The first wife left. How about the second one? She won't leave. 16- A Chinese teacher with a strong accent read an ancient poem named "Wochun" by Lu You to the students and asked them to dictate. The teacher read aloud as follows. A student dictated the following: I am stupid in spring sleep. I have no culture. I hate the bottom floor My IQ is very low. I lay like water. If you want to ask who I am, I can easily get in touch with Chun Lv. A big donkey. The shore is green, I am a donkey, and the shore is green. I am a donkey!