Jokes and cold jokes about Chinese characters

Homophonic joke: once there was a meeting in the village, because of the homonym, the village head said, "Rabbit, shrimp, don't paste melons, pickles are too expensive." Comrades and villagers, don't talk. Let's have a meeting now. The host said, "Sausage and melon for pickles." (Now, please speak to the township head. The township head said, "Rabbits, shrimps and dogs ate today's meal. Everyone is chinemys reevesii." Comrades and villagers, enough food for today. Let's all use big bowls. The head of the township said, don't be stubborn, I'll pick up a lump of shit and lick it for you. Don't talk, I'll tell you a story. )

After graduating from normal college, a girl went to a primary school as a teacher. She told the students in the first class: "Students, I will teach you Chinese from today. My last name is Bai." Then she wrote the words "Hundred Moon Slope" on the blackboard with chalk and said, "This is my name. Please read it again. "

"White belly skin!" The students read aloud together, and dozens of pairs of childish eyes looked at the teacher's stomach together.

The female teacher is puzzled. Looking back, she realized that she had written the slope too separately, and the soil on the left was too close to the moon, so she couldn't help blushing. ...

The student wrote: "I was walking on the road when suddenly a pile of cow dung appeared on the road. I was shocked." After reading it, the teacher approved: "massive, massive."

The student's composition reads: "My mother is a middle-aged woman in her thirties." The teacher criticized under the word "middle age": "redundant." Then let the students copy it again. My mother is an extra middle-aged woman in her thirties.

At that time, an expert from the former Soviet Union supported China's modernization. He learned a little Chinese when he was in China. During his recent visit to China, he wandered in the street and said to his entourage, "In socialist countries, there is always a common problem, that is, boasting. You see, the words "Good people in China", "Good construction in China" and "Good agriculture in China" are written all over the street. The construction of China is very good, but there is no need to write all over the street! " . The entourage looked in the direction they indicated. It turned out to be China People's Bank, China Construction Bank and China Agricultural Bank. ...

I heard my father tell me a true thing:

In the past, a railway station broadcast said, "Please send your relatives and friends away, the train is about to leave!" " "

After the train left, a passenger went to the station and said, "What happened when you told me to get off on the radio?" ! Now the trains are gone! My luggage is still in the car! "

The station staff said, "We didn't let you off!"

"Why not? I clearly heard Comrade Song Qingyou get off the bus on the radio! Now I got off the bus and said nothing! "

"....."