Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Me and my enemies
Me and my enemies
When I was a child, Andina was very cute. Because of her, I gave up my high salary in Shenzhen and came to Hawaii. At that time, I had my last youth. At that time, Andina was only eight months old.
When I first set foot on this land, the original freshness was shattered by the complexity of life. First of all, the language problem, because the pronunciation is not accurate, I almost dare not speak.
But how difficult the reality is, how brave people are. I'm dying for Andina. There is no problem in reading and writing English, so I watch cartoons with Andina, go to the library to borrow English books for my children, and listen to CDs repeatedly.
Andina watches cartoons and reads books. I re-accumulate words and learn American pronunciation. By the time she went to kindergarten, I had read all her books.
When she was in primary school, I had already started working. While reading her book, I went to an adult school to learn English. A few years later, I finally opened my world.
When shopping with Angelina, I was still a little timid. When I first came to Hawaii, I only had one or two friends from China. Going out is the English world. I know what Chinese means in my heart, but I'm afraid my English accent will be laughed at if I say it.
When Andina was very young, she volunteered to be her mother's translator.
Americans always look at her in surprise. At the age of five or six, she is not upset at all. She doesn't doubt why her mother can't speak English as fluently as other Americans. On the contrary, she is proud of helping me.
I grew up with Andina when she graduated from primary school. She graduated from primary school with excellent results and entered junior high school, and I also changed my satisfactory job.
When Andina was in junior high school, she was 1 1 years old, which was a bit confusing. I work full-time and usually send her to school before 6: 30 in the morning. I didn't pick her up until I got off work at 3 pm.
Because of the particularity of work, I need to work in the afternoon occasionally. So Andy spends most of her time at home alone. In order to ensure her safety, she had a smart phone when she was six years old.
I go out early and come back late, and she is also a mother singer. But my communication with Andina has obviously decreased. She never said that the teacher said classmates in front of me again.
In the first half of the second year of junior high school, my grades declined a little. I found that she always likes to play with her mobile phone, which made me alert. I got off work at ten o'clock one night. When I got home, I found that she was still awake, with a mobile phone in her hand. When she saw me, she was a little scared.
I suddenly understood a little. But I can't figure out what is bothering her. After she went to bed, I decided to solve the mystery.
When I was holding her cell phone, I forgot my password because I was nervous. Finally, I remembered the password, opened her mobile phone in a panic and found that one of her male classmates was in close contact with her.
I was almost dumbfounded. I walked quietly into her room and looked at Andina carefully. I found her sleeping soundly and looking naive.
I made a decisive decision in my mind. She must not get lost in the most important stage of basic education. At the same time, my heart is suffering. Should I spend more time with my children?
I forwarded her unsent letter to my mobile phone. Then I remembered the child's phone number. Then I hacked the phone number of this little boy on Andina's mobile phone.
The next day I sent a message to the little boy: "Andina is still a child. If there are other contact behaviors that have nothing to do with study and friendship, I will report to the principal and your parents. "
I watched Andy secretly for a few days. She seemed a little lost and sad, so she took the initiative to chat with me. In her helpless situation, our final negotiation was that she had to leave that junior high school and transfer to a private girls' school where she attended primary school.
Although I have to pay expensive tuition, I am willing. Andina quickly integrated into the new school. Slowly forget everything before. Happiness and self-confidence returned to her face.
It should be said that she seems to understand, still in the embryonic stage, and was cut the gordian knot by her mother-me.
This is my first round with the enemy. I won!
I am afraid of driving because I am timid. Going to a strange place is killing me.
Mobile navigation didn't exist when I first came to the United States. I have seen many places. Imagine that I have never been there. If I go to a new place, I will go with Andina.
She has been sitting next to me and guiding me, from primary school to junior high school to high school.
She's different now. "Mom, you can't find this place. What would you do without me? " She asked me from the passenger seat.
"Without you, I can't drive. When you go to college, mom will go back to China. "
"Mom, you must remember the landmark of a new place. I won't get lost next time. " She was playing with her mobile phone and told me impatiently.
"Tina, need to change the line, you have to tell me in advance. Otherwise, you can't change it when you get there. " I kept telling her before.
"You must turn left here, so you should turn left at once." One day she forgot to tell me in advance and didn't say it until she arrived. I was frantic with anxiety: "It's already in front of me. I can't change my route. You should have told me earlier. "
I want to keep driving. This place turns left. "Mom, turn on the light." As she spoke, she reached for the left turn signal.
When I was about to lose my temper with her, an American made way for me and he stopped to let my car in. At that moment, I was grateful to the Americans. I guess the Yankees thought I was car-blind. I'm still yelling at Andina.
"Mom, stop being a child and grow up, okay?" She told me calmly and disdainfully.
It's my turn to be surprised this time. I turned to look at her. Her profile is very fashionable and cool. My heart must admit that my enemy has grown up.
Another time, she will take part in an important science competition on behalf of her school, in the westernmost part, probably the farthest place I will go. I was nervous before I started. I'll be with her when I go, no problem. When I came back, I was alone. I'm afraid I can't find my way back.
At this moment, I heard Andina calling the students who also participated in the competition: "My mother can't find a new place, and she will get lost when she comes back. Can you take me back and forth? "
At this moment, I was moved to tears. For the sake of your majesty, I still stubbornly refuse to express my gratitude in front of Antina.
It turns out that a weak mother and child will be strong.
She won the second round.
In recent years, she and I have been under the same roof, but we have rarely had in-depth communication. It seems that most of the time we just sit at the table while eating.
Andina is a sophomore and seems to need more time to be independent and alone. Quarrel, silence, slamming the door, teasing, etc. Everything is normal.
We keep our distance from each other, but we also hinder each other, hurt each other, dislike each other, depend on each other and support each other.
In 2020, because of COVID-19, I didn't go to work, my children didn't go to school and we didn't look up for 24 hours.
At first, we were a little tolerant. As we stay at home longer and longer, we see more and more opportunities. In the past, we felt guilty about not being together. Now, we can't help but get bored with each other all day.
We will suddenly compete at the door of the toilet for who will go first, and sometimes Angelina will be dissatisfied because of the repeated breakfast every day. Occasionally, she will hate my sameness, such as fried shrimps with carrots and boiled eggs, and she will vomit.
I was humbled, too. I stayed at home for half a year, and the outside was full of COVID-19. Many public places were closed, and the only safe place was home.
She spends most of her time in her room. I spend most of my time in the balcony, living room and kitchen. I should whisper when cooking. When watching TV, only I can hear it. She is having a class online in her room. I want to ensure three meals a day and keep the room quiet.
Sometimes I ask her to eat, but she doesn't answer, so I call her name loudly. She suddenly opened the door and shouted at me, "Mom, leave me alone."
I was surprised: "You object? I invite you to dinner. "
"When you say it, I know you are too noisy." She finished and slammed the door. All my hopes and disappointments were blocked by her.
I can't speak in the living room. Are you 15 years old? Has the rebellious period arrived? I remember that she was so dependent on me when she was a child, but now she won't even let me see her back.
Although I am angry myself, I can still cook and think about the pattern of each meal. Every time I finish eating, she opens the door and comes out. Most of the time, she looks at the food on the table with a face of disgust.
"If you don't eat, don't eat. Why are you bothering me? " I asked her angrily. "Are you rebellious?"
"Mom, I just keep looking at you. Isn't 24 hours enough? Every minute of these six months has been you. You let me be quiet. " She turned her head and went into her room again. Bang, the door pulled me away from her again.
This really explains the sentence: the cruelest thing in the world is that it is close at hand but thousands of miles apart.
I was still mad at Andina the next day. She smiled at me like a flower: "mom, let's go to the seaside to take pictures and get some air." I'm going crazy. " She was so happy that I had to put my troubles about her behind me.
So we went to the seaside with joy and almost turned against each other when taking pictures. She doesn't think my photos are good. Every photo she takes for me looks so ugly.
"Antina, look at you. I shot it so beautifully. You shot me so hard that I didn't dare to look straight. " I flew into a rage.
"Ha ha ha! Mom, I'm beautiful, okay? " The implication is that I am old and ugly.
Looking at her youthful appearance, I have to accept it. Looking at the endless sea, my heart is also choppy.
She won completely this round.
I think Andina will be brilliant in every round in the future. Sometimes I feel a little jealous when I look at the sly charm on the enemy's face.
I think the future belongs to her, and I am willing to lose.
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