Workplace jokes should not be missed.

Workplace jokes should not be missed. Many people will encounter some jokes in the workplace, such as accidentally calling a colleague by the wrong name without knowing it, which makes everyone laugh. I believe there are countless similar workplace jokes. Now watch more workplace jokes and don't miss them.

Workplace jokes should not be missed 1 1. Colleague: "Can I discuss something with you?" Me: "Go" Colleague: "I am short of money recently, so." Me: "Want to borrow money?"

Colleague: "Yes." Me: "That's easy to say. 1I will make a decision after 0 yuan,1I will discuss with my wife after 0 yuan. " Colleague: "Aren't you not married?" Me: "Yes, so it's not negotiable."

2. A male colleague quarreled with a female colleague in the morning. The man has been scolded by the woman and replied angrily, "Don't insult my soul, you can insult my body!" " The scene suddenly became an uproar. Unexpectedly, the female colleague silently walked up to him: "Bah ..."

A friend bought a car as soon as he got his driver's license, and he didn't drive very skillfully. I have to take me home after work today. After n times of starting and stalling, the car finally hit the road.

I drove smoothly all the way. When I arrived at my house, the goods said, Sister, you see I'm having a hard time. I won't stop at your door for the time being. I slow down, you jump down, and then I close the door MD two steps. This is not an elevator. The whole thing is to train special forces.

Xiaoming was late for work on the seventh day of the Lunar New Year. The leader was angry and asked, "Xiao Ming, why are you so late?" ! Xiao Ming: "I overslept. "

Leader: "What's the matter?" Xiao Ming: "I dreamed of a meeting. You are making an important speech. I want to listen for a while." The whole office suddenly became surprised.

5. Master, is my life still meaningful? Host: What do you do, young man? M: I am a prodigal son. I drove from Dongcheng to Xicheng, from the southern suburbs to the northern suburbs, and I was tired of wandering among many women. I want to have a rest once in a while.

They will call me crazily. Master: Young man, he is just a courier. Do you want to be so awesome? !

6. Repairing the computer for a female colleague is nothing to talk about. Me: "Your backpack is really nice. Where did you buy it? " Female colleague: "If you like, I'll give it to you." Me: "You are beautiful, too." Female colleagues ...

Workplace jokes should not be missed. 2 workplace jokes 1: How many people think this is ok?

I went to the financial department to reimburse the expenses, 2900 yuan, and I said to the cashier: You give me 3000 yuan, and I just have 100 here. Then the cashier smiled. Suddenly I feel that my IQ is urgent. "Then, I think no problem. I gave 100 for 3000, so I asked, "Where's the punch line? "As a result, a group of people lined up to laugh him to death!

Joke 2 in the workplace: rapid growth

When I came to this company for an interview just after graduating from college, the boss told me earnestly: Although the salary is not high, you can get rapid growth here, which is the most important thing for young people. Now that two years have passed, the boss has not lied to me. I look like a man of 40 years old.

Joke 3: There is no difference between falling on the 3rd floor and the 30th floor.

Xiao Wang is a construction worker. On his first day at work, he was on the 27th floor. He was too scared to stand up. He asked another worker why he was not afraid. The man replied, "there is nothing to be afraid of." As far as I know, falling from the third floor is the same as falling from the thirtieth floor.

Joke 4: I have never washed my feet.

Two employees of the company made a bet that whoever lost would be invited to the foot washing city, and we were all watching. As a result, when I first learned, a MM next to me shouted, "I'll go, too. I have never washed my feet! " "As a result, everyone stood still and looked at her feet.

Workplace joke 5: Swallow silver coins

Once in the office, colleagues were discussing the magic of swallowing silver coins. Colleague a was surprised that the coin could come out of his pocket after it entered his mouth. Colleague B immediately interrupted and said, "What is this? You can still pull it out if you swallow it. "

Joke 6: You can't sleep at work.

The pony was tired, and when he saw the boss going out, he quickly found a place to sit down and doze off. After a while, the boss came and woke him up: "Don't you know you can't sleep at work?" Pony: "Yes, I didn't sleep at work, and I didn't sleep or work."

Workplace jokes should not be missed. 3 workplace jokes 1:

Xiao Li: What's your monthly salary? Xiao Wang: Less than 10,000. Xiao Li: How much is it? Xiao Wang: 1500. Xiao Li: Really 1500? Xiao Wang: Almost. Xiao Li: How much is it? Xiao Wang: 800. Xiao Li: Really? Xiao Wang: Including tax ... Xiao Li: Tell the truth! Xiao Wang: 500 ... Xiao Li: Yes. Wang: Japanese yen! ! !

Workplace joke 2:

The promise of job advertisements

A group of new employees questioned the company manager: "At the beginning, the company's recruitment notice clearly promised to give us a monthly salary of 1500-3000 yuan, but the salary we actually get every month is 1500 yuan, not 2000 yuan, not 3000 yuan!"

The manager smiled and said, "Young people, you are really funny. Do you really think the number after the dash is silver? " The employees asked, "What is not money?" Manager: "that's imagination!" " "

Workplace joke 3:

Do things seriously and practically.

The new secretary of the company is very meticulous. On his first day at work, he spent an hour cleaning the birdcage and two hours cleaning the fish tank. Then he asked the boss what else to do. The boss said, "Take the tortoise for a walk!" " "

Workplace joke 4:

Leading speech

The company will hold an annual dinner. The chairman asked the new manager to speak before the dinner and told him that there were two requirements for his speech: 1, leadership;

2, there must be a slogan of charge. The manager nodded in agreement. Before dinner, the manager took the stage to speak. I saw that he raised his right hand high, and then waved it hard: "Ready, eat!" " "

Workplace joke 5:

Is it a dog or a person?

Someone's dog won the first prize in the dog analogy competition. The reporter said, "Congratulations on winning the first prize." Someone corrected and said, "Sir, it was the dog that won the first prize." The reporter quickly said: "I'm sorry. So how much bonus did the dog get this time? " Someone said angrily, "sir, I won the prize!" " "

Workplace jokes should not be missed. 4. Jokes that make you laugh till you can't stop.

1. "Learn from foreigners to control foreigners"

When I applied for a job in a foreign company, people asked me why I chose it. By some strange coincidence, I even said, "Control foreigners like foreigners!" He was kicked out on the spot.

2. "Don't recruit?"

A company is well paid and the booth is crowded, so many candidates are directly rejected. A man fought his way through the crowd, squeezed into the table, waved his fist and shouted, "Are you going to confess or not?"

3. "We don't want notebooks"

When I came to the job fair, I handed in a thick stack of resumes, which were carefully produced and printed by laser. The other party knocked me to the bottom in one sentence: "Sorry, what we want is a resume, not a notebook!" "

4. "Are you from a famous university?"

Last June, 5438+065438+ 10, I learned that a job fair for news system talents was being held in Shanghai, and I rushed there non-stop. I hung up my clothes and held them in my hand for fear of being crumpled in my suit on the train.

When I arrived in Shanghai, I found a bathroom to change clothes, adjusted my hair and went straight to the job fair. There are more than 20 resumes in the bag, one after another. I didn't expect the other person to look up at my resume and ask me, "Are you from a famous university?" I can't wait to tell her the glorious history of the school in the past hundred years, but under the attention of everyone, I still disappeared in despair.

5. "Two-way choice"

When you go to the job fair, you will submit your resume when you see the booth. One of the booths really didn't vote and voted for the vice president directly. The recruited MM looked at me and said, "Do you think we can still entrust this company to you now?" I said, "What are you worried about? We are a two-way choice! "

6. "Tell a joke!"

A famous entrepreneur personally presided over the interview. I turned in my resume with trepidation. The entrepreneur asked nothing but, "Tell a joke!" "

After talking for a long time, I finally came up with a joke about parrots: "A man went to a pet store to buy parrots, and the owner said to him,' We have three parrots, the blue one can speak four languages, which costs 1000 yuan, and the red one can speak six languages, which costs 3,000 yuan.

The yellow one can't talk and sells for 5000 yuan. How did this happen? The man cried, "it can't do anything! "Well," explained the shopkeeper, "we don't know, but the other two call it the boss." "After I say that finish, my face is blue. I know it's over this time!

7. "Boss, do you want to recruit a coolie?"

Although I just want to be a coolie, I have to dress up before I can find a job in the biggest talent market in Beijing! You can't make a fool of yourself in public. So I wore a suit and tie, polished my shoes and went on my way. When I arrived at the talent market, I saw a sea of people, which was impenetrable.

I didn't squeeze in, thinking, "With my conditions, finding a coolie is also a piece of cake!" " "So I waited and waited, and the sun went down, and no one came to recruit me.

It's almost hopeless At this time, a man came quickly, and I quickly adjusted my hair. As long as he asks, I will agree to whatever conditions.

He came over and said only one sentence: "Boss, do you want to recruit a coolie?"

8. "The temple is too small to accommodate the Great Bodhisattva."

Going to a job fair with my classmates, both of them voted for the same company, but it seems that people are not interested. After he came back, he complained that MM, who was in charge of recruitment, was ignorant of Mount Tai and could not see his strengths.

I sneer: "People are well-informed, how can you not see your strengths?" However, people think that your strengths are not long enough ... "He paused, and then retorted," Aren't you the same result? "

I took a break and answered, "How can I be like you? Didn't you hear what people finally told me? " I cleared my throat: "People say,' There is no room for a big bodhisattva in a small temple!'" "