Ask a few jokes about the Three Kingdoms.

During the Three Kingdoms period, Cao Cao met Zhuge Liang. Zhuge Liang met Cao Cao and asked, "Fuck, how is your mother?" Cao Cao doesn't know how to answer. Jiang Gan, who stood by, secretly smiled, so Zhuge Liang turned to ask Jiang Gan, "Fuck, how is your mother?" One day, Cao Cao and Liu Bei were drinking to discuss heroes. After a few drinks, Liu Bei suddenly farted, which was embarrassing. When I was embarrassed, I heard Guan Yu behind me calmly say, "Don't take offense, fart comes from feather (rain)!" " As Guan Yu's voice dropped, Zhao Yun stepped forward and said, "Don't take it amiss, fart comes from the clouds!" After Zhao Yungang finished, Zhang Fei went on to shout, "Where did the fart come from just now!" Everyone burst into laughter. Liu Bei has also returned to normal. Cao Cao didn't laugh. He is deeply touched by this. After seeing Liu Bei and others off, Cao Cao said to his subordinates, "When Liu Bei's subordinates saw the master's mistakes, they rushed to take responsibility and make up for them. It's really loyal. If it is your turn, can you do it? " Everyone was indignant and thought, "It's nothing, what's difficult!" A few days later, Cao Cao invited Liu Bei to drink again. During the dinner, he wanted to fart and see how his men reacted. After holding back for a long time, I finally managed to hold back a small Pi. Everyone has been waiting for a long time. When they heard a "goo", the general quickly shouted: "Chu (pig) put the fart!" The waiter Wang Lang immediately said, "Lang (Wolf) farted!" As soon as Cao Cao stared, others thought that Cao Cao was too slow and rushed to take care of himself. Xia Houdun insisted: "Fart comes from London!" "no!" Huang Xu heard a retort, "I'm shaking my ass!" Xun You said, "You let the fart out!" Man Chong said, "Fart is a pet!" Jiang Ji said: "Fart comes from the economy!" Guo Tu said: "Fart is a picture (vomit)!" Zhong Youdao: "Fart is coming!" Then ... Taurus: "Fart is gold!" Cao Hong: "Fart is red!" Zhang Nan: "Fart is south (blue)!" ........... Cao Cao was already flushed and was about to get angry. Counselor Guo Jia shouted, "None of them are right, none of them are right! Everyone is wrong! " ..... deserves to be my number one strategist. Cao Cao secretly thought. Guo Jia went on to say: "The fart was released by Jia (clip)!" Liu Bei and others have been shaking with laughter ... Cao Cao fainted with anger ... Introduction of Three Kingdoms Chinese name: Zhang Fei English name: FAYE (Faye Wong fan) Height: 1. 8 1 m (maybe higher) Weight: 180 kg (maybe heavier) Favorite person: Liu Bei (what an obedient homosexual) The most literary sentence: "Three surnames are slaves" (swearing is too level! ) the most annoying person: Lu Bu (because this boy was scolded by his eldest brother! ) favorite thing: wine ... Chinese name: Zhao Yun, nickname: Zilong, height: 1. 78 (standard figure) Weight: 160 kg (devil figure) Oral statement: I am Zhao Zilong from Changshan! Proudest thing: when Yangpo gang fights. (One person kills a street with a watermelon knife, which is interesting! The person I hate most: it's also Lu Bu (comment on what put the most romantic thing in romance novels on him? I'm much more handsome than him! Chinese Name: Xu Qi Nickname: Tiger Idiot Height: 1. 80 weight: 230 kg favorite person: Cao Cao's most annoying person: Dian Wei (with him around, you can't get Cao Cao's heart) The most glorious thing: naked Ma Chao (showing his beautiful curves in front of everyone) Chinese name: Liu Bei, said: big ears height: 150CM (short stature) Weight:1. Proud thing: ears can be used to drive away mosquitoes. People I hate most: I hate whoever is more handsome than me. The most embarrassing thing: going to the wrong toilet. Name: Xia Houdun, nickname: Du Longyan, height: 1. 98 (Jordan) Weight: 198kg {symmetrical) Favorite person: Cao Cao (he is my boss) Most annoying person: Cao Xing (meowed, meowed, my eyes) Proudest thing: Zhuge Liang's first novel "Thin Wang Po", I am the first villain. Chinese name: Guan Yu English name: bearded man (razor seller is most afraid of this kind of person) Height: 1.80m (unweighed) Weight: 178kg (jujube seller is definitely thinner than meat seller) Favorite person: The Story Of Diu Sim (why did Cao Cao give her to his eldest brother? I know that if I want The Story Of Diu Sim and Red Rabbit. ! ) the most annoying person: Cao Cao (in Huarong Road, I almost didn't get cut by the military adviser. Let this boy go! ) favorite scene: XX army is on the run ... suddenly there is a banner in the middle of it, which says there is a big word in the middle of Hanshou Pavilion ... Chinese name: Pang Tong alias: Feng Chu height: 1.69 meters (third-level disabled) weight: 69 kilograms (losing weight will be disproportionate) favorite person: everyone (see everyone)) most annoying. Favorite things: Zhuge Liang's feather fan and crane opening ... (Later generations say those things are treasures in the game! ! ! Chinese name: Zhuge Liang English name: Sleep Dragon (Why do people always call me Wolong instead of standing in the dragon? ) Height: 1.80m (Prince Charming) Weight: 70kg (standard figure) Favorite person: Zhou Yu (If it weren't for you, how could I show my high IQ? ) The most literary article: "Be a Model" (Liu Chan wants to sleep, so he wants to send troops! There is also an article to be recited to future generations in Chinese class. Most annoying person: Huang Achou (If it weren't for your cleverness, I would have divorced you long ago! Madam Prime Minister ... $ #% @ ~ ... Alas! Chinese name: Zhou Yu nickname: fish height: 1. 78 meters weight: 70 kilograms favorite person: I (I am so handsome) the most literary sentence: you can't eat raw fish. The person I hate most: Brother Pig's favorite thing (if it weren't for him, ... me) is his Chinese name: Dian Wei. It's called: e lai, height: 2. 30 weight: 250 kg Favorite person: Chu Xu (This guy is really like a pig, and I am now the second lowest in Cao Ying's intelligence ranking. ) The most annoying person: Cao Cao (damn, he lost his life because of chasing girls, alas-) favorite thing: the double halberd (unfortunately, this boy Hu Cheer stole it and sold it as scrap iron. I spent twelve taels of silver on it that year! Chinese name: Huang Zhong called: Lao Huang Height: 1. 68 Weight: 60 kg (a thousand pounds is hard to buy, but the old man is thin) Favorite person: Yan Yan (I like this old man) Most annoying person: Zhuge Liang (this person always uses provocative means to know that I have high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes and so on. Does he know how to respect the elderly? Favorite thing: Xia's head (my pension insurance, housing provident fund, my son's study abroad expenses depend on it. ) On an awkward night of strategy, on a straw boat-Lu Su: "Can you really borrow an arrow like this? Mr. Kong Ming? " Zhuge Liang: "Trust me." Lu Su: "But I'm still a little worried ..." Zhuge Liang: "No need." Lu Su: "But don't you think it's getting hotter and hotter in the boat?" Zhuge Liang: "that's a little ... is there anything wrong?" Lu Su: "Yes, it's getting dark. I'm afraid the enemy is launching rockets ... "Zhuge Liang:" Hey! ? Amethyst ~ ~ Can you swim ~ ~ I can't ~ ~ "Soldier:" Thirst ... Thirst ... "Cao Cao:" Hold on a little longer! I have been to this place once, and I remember that there is a Merlin nearby, which may not be far away. " Soldiers: "Oh ~ ~ There are plums to eat ~ ~ ~ Oh ~ ~" Half an hour later-Cao Ren: "Master! The expedition found a lot of water! " Cao Cao: "Ha ha ha ha, did you hear that? Finally, there is water to drink ~ ~ ~ "Soldier:" Don't go ... you must find plums ... "A year later-after a busy day in the field, Cao Cao and his sons walked in the sunset with hoes on their shoulders ... Cao Cao:" Pierre, seriously, is dad a loser? " Cao Pi: "I have told you many times that I don't blame you at all …" Sima Yi, at the gate: "The piano is noisy! Kill the city and capture Zhuge Liang alive! " On the city-Qin Gui: "I told you not to play the song' sonorous rose' or listen to it ..." Bamboo slips: "No way, the teacher is a fan of Yi Lian ..." Zhuge Liang: "I threw you two into the city and died first ... I said that Cao Cao and Liu Bei negotiated. Liu Bei sent his favorite general, Zhang Fei. When Cao Cao's sister Cao Yuee heard that Liu Bei had sent Zhang Fei, she volunteered to negotiate on her behalf. When Cao Yuee and Zhang Fei met, neither of them obeyed, so they decided to have a game in the negotiation first. What did Zhang Fei ask Cao Yuee? Cao Yuee believed that Zhang Fei was a military commander. I am sure I can't beat him in the championship. Let's race! He said to Zhang Fei, "Let's compete with Wen, and I'll show you my strokes. Guess what. " Results than three times, Cao Yuee vomited blood and fainted. Cao Cao came to see his sister who was carried back and asked Cao Yuee, "Sister, what are you competing for? Are you so smart and angry? " Cao Yuee said to Cao Cao, "Brother! Don't underestimate that reckless Zhang Fei! I propose to compete with him. First, I made a gesture of holding my chest, saying that I have the universe and the earth in my heart. As soon as I finished, Zhang Fei made a gesture of pulling two fingers for a long time without thinking, indicating that two places were designated. Then I held out my thumb and said that I was a general under my brother. Zhang Fei held out three fingers and said that I was not as good as their three outstanding men in Taoyuan. Finally, I made a gesture of touching my abdomen to show that I was full of knowledge. Who knows that when he shook hands, he said that his sleeves were dry. " When Zhang Fei returned to the camp, they all gathered together and asked him how he made Cao Yuee vomit blood with anger. Zhang Fei's eyes were wide open: "That bitch told me that she had big breasts as soon as she came up, and I said mine was longer than her;" She said she once a night, I said three times a night; Finally she said she was pregnant, and I said-fuck it. "One day, Zhuge Liang and Liu Bei talked about the military. Suddenly, Zhuge Liang wanted to fart and was afraid of being laughed at, so he said to Liu Bei, "Now I will learn birdsong for you!" " "Liu bei agreed. Zhuge Liang learned quickly and took the opportunity to fart. Liu Bei said to him, "Learn it again. You farted too loudly just now, I didn't hear you! "