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The funniest jokes

The Funniest Jokes of 2015

It takes me ten years to laugh. Sometimes a serious joke is not funny, but a very cold joke can make me laugh. It's been a long time, have you had such an experience? Now, I, CJ, have compiled the funniest jokes in 2015 for everyone, let's have fun and laugh together.

One of the funniest jokes in 2015:

Laughing for you

There is a Maitreya Buddha statue in the playground. Visitors only need Throw a coin into its belly button and it will laugh. A woman enjoys tossing coins and hearing laughter. At this time, a little boy walked up to the woman and said: "Auntie, just throw it into my pocket and I will laugh for you." ?

Which one do you like?

When taking the elective course "Appreciation of a Dream of Red Mansions", the teacher asked: "Which of the Twelve Hairpins of Jinling do you like best?" When asked a boy, the boy stood up immediately: ?Sorry, teacher, I already have a girl I like. ?

A powerful name

After returning home from school, Xiao Ming said to his mother: "Mom, you should give me a more powerful name." Mom asked: Why do you say that? Xiao Ming: There is a classmate in our class with a very powerful name. The teacher never dared to call his name and ask him to answer questions. "My mother was shocked: "What's his name?" Xiao Ming said calmly: "Mama." ?

The funniest joke in 2015:

Joke 1

Ximen Qing drove by the Daughter Country and saw a woman with a dignified appearance and graceful figure, so he got off Che wanted to molest her.

When the woman saw it, she hurriedly shouted: "Someone is coming, someone is coming quickly." ?

After hearing this, Ximen Qing quickly jumped into the car and drove away.

The woman stamped her feet behind the car and said: "Coward, I just want to invite a few more sisters to come and play with you, but I'm afraid it will end up like this!"

Joke 2

The general manager is recruiting a female secretary and a psychologist as a consultant. The question is, what is 2 plus 2?

The first answer is equal to 4; the second answer is equal to 22; the third answer is equal to 4 or equal to 22.

Psychologists say: The first woman is practical but conservative; the second woman is dreamy; and the third woman is the most suitable. ?Then ask the general manager how to decide.

The general manager thought for a while and said: The one wearing the miniskirt is better. ?

Joke 3

A man rushed to the psychological clinic: "Doctor, I am in so much trouble! Please save me!"

"Don't panic, If you are suffering from anything, tell me slowly so that I can analyze and treat it for you. ?

?I have been dreaming about Diao Chan, Yang Guifei, Li Shishi, and Dong Xiaowan every night recently. They are all naked and surrounding me!?

Wow! What time has it been, and there are so many beautiful dreams, you are so lucky!?

? What a blessing! Did you know that in the dream I was also a woman!?

Joke 4

The daughter of a family is getting married, but the man is not a Buddhist. Parents disagree. The man had no choice but to listen to the woman's advice and study Buddhism in order to gain the approval of his prospective parents-in-law as soon as possible.

After some time, the parents asked their daughter about the man’s current situation, and she said that he had become a Buddhist. So the parents said:

? Then you can get married. ?

?But the daughter started crying and said with choked sobs: ?He believed so deeply that he has become a monk. ?

Joke 5

Since the husband went to see a psychiatrist, the couple’s life has become very interesting and extremely happy. The wife was just puzzled that every time before having sex, her husband would leave the bedroom and stay in the bathroom for more than ten minutes.

Out of curiosity, the wife finally decided to see what her husband was doing.

She stood quietly at the door of the bathroom, saw her husband standing in the bathroom, and murmured to herself in the mirror: She is not my wife, she is not my wife?

2015 The third funniest joke of the year:

The frightened aunt

Mom took Xiao Li to a concert. Xiao Li was obviously very interested in the conductor. He looked at the conductor's baton for a while, and then looked at the conductor for a while. Look at the solo soprano. After a while, he asked his mother: Mom, why does the uncle in the middle keep using a stick to scare the aunt?

No! How could you have such an idea?

Then Why does she keep screaming?

The scariest book

Girl: Dad, do you have any scarier books for me to read?

Dad :? There is a book that I bought more than 20 years ago. It is too scary, so I rarely read it. ?

Little girl:?What book? Dad said seriously:?Marriage certificate!?

Performance

In order to win the favor of the director, the actress Try your best to express yourself!

The actress said to the director: Director, please give me a glass of real liquor so that I can perform the most realistic emotions!

The director listened. Finally, he was very satisfied and said: "Okay, but tomorrow's poisoning scene will all depend on you!"

An experience

A man did it in the company For 25 years, he did the same job using the same method every day and received the same salary every month. One day, the aggrieved man decided to ask his boss for a raise and promotion.

He said to his boss: After all, I already have 25 years of experience. ?

?Dear employee,? The boss sighed and said, ?You don’t have 25 years of experience, you have 25 years of experience. ?

Disadvantages

My son is in first grade this year. Once, my son and I discussed everyone’s shortcomings.

I talked about some of my shortcomings, and then asked him, what are your shortcomings?

He thought for a while and said: Mom said I am just a little calcium deficient.