Who can tell a few super funny jokes?

Super funny short and good joke 19, for everyone to laugh!

1. Give you a watermelon. When you are in a bad mood, you can use a small knife to cut and cut. At the same time, you can vent and shout loudly: I kill melons, I kill melons, I kill melons!

2. Someone just learned to ride a bike when he was a child, and ran into the street unconsciously. When he saw an old man walking in front of him, he felt he was going to hit him and shouted, don't move, don't move. The old man stood there for a while without moving, and as a result, he turned around and ran into it. The old man stood up and said, you aimed.

Tomorrow is Singles Day. On behalf of the Central Club Committee, the China Club Federation and the International Club Association, I would like to extend holiday greetings and high respect to the singles! If you are already nunchakus-forget it.

On the bus, a man and a woman collided because of the crowd. The woman turned back and said, "Are you sick?" The man felt puzzled and replied, "Do you have any medicine?" The people in the car snickered! The woman felt very angry and replied, "Are you mentally ill?" The man said coldly, "Can it be cured?"

5./kloc-Xiao Zhao, 0/8 years old, is a senior one this year. His only shortcoming is that he is too old. Once on the way to school by bus, a man in his thirties next door talked to him. He opened his mouth and said, Brother, where are you going? Accustomed to such treatment, Xiao Zhao said quietly: This person: Oh, it's to see the children. Nowadays, it is difficult for children to go to school. Zhao's face twitched, but he held back and said nothing. Unexpectedly, this man added: Big Brother, what grade is your child? Zhao Ben didn't want to talk again, but because of face, he said: Senior one. The other party was shocked: Brother, you got married very late. ......

6. A shy boy finally got up the courage to ask his beloved girl: What kind of boy do you like? The girl said: It's very congenial. The boy asked again, but he had to say sadly, why not have a flat head?

7. Boys take their girlfriends for a walk and pass by restaurants. Girlfriend praises: It smells good! The cash-strapped boy said very gentlemanly, let's walk in front of the restaurant again if you like. ......

8. When a man takes a bus, a beautiful girl on the bus always looks at him. He thought: the girl may be interested in herself, and she can't help being flattered. When the girl got off at the station, the man immediately followed. The girl walked in front and looked back from time to time. He got up the courage to run forward and said humorously, miss, why do you always look at me? Is there a grain of rice on my face? The girl glared at him: You are sick! Don't wipe it if you know it. ......

9. A woman took counterfeit money to buy breakfast. The stall owner was annoyed: Elder sister, even if you give counterfeit money, at least it is printed. Your money is actually painted! To say the least, forget to draw. You can draw five tens or seven. ......

10. Have you eaten? You should eat this. If you haven't eaten, don't look yet.

A farmer was carrying two loads of dung on the ridge of a field. A man went up and asked, Grandpa, how much is this sauce a catty? The farmers made no noise. The man reached out his hand, dipped a little into it, put it in his mouth and tasted it. He thought, if you don't tell me how much it costs a catty, I won't tell you that your sauce stinks. ...

I guess after talking about so much food, you just ...

In that case, by the way, I didn't mean to.

165438+ Hand over the carrots!

12. Dentist (examining the patient's mouth): "There is a big hole in your tooth! There is a big hole. " Patient (unhappily): "There is a hole, but it goes without saying twice." Dentist: "I only said it once." That's an echo, an echo. "

13. Letters and numbers fight, and the number 1 and 3 form the letter B to penetrate the enemy. Not long after, 1 and 3 came back, with dark eyes and black and blue bodies. Everyone asked them how they did it. 1 and 3 cried and answered: all the letters except the biggest A are lowercase letters. ......

14. There is a man lying opposite the front seat of the theater, and four seats are occupied by one person. The lady with a seat said to him, "Sir, one person can only take one seat." He just snorted and didn't move. The young lady invited the theater manager, who said politely, "Please sit down, sir. One person can only occupy one seat. " He just snorted and didn't act. The manager only invited the police. The policeman said, "Dude, you are very horizontal! Which way are you going? " The man snorted and said, "How about ... the one who fell in the upstairs aisle ..."

15. The TV newscaster is broadcasting the news. At this moment, a piece of paper was delivered to him. He picked it up and habitually said, "The following is the news we just received ..." Then he opened the note, which read, "Dude, you still have a spinach leaf on your front tooth ..........."

16. Someone rode into the street, passed an intersection and spread his hand. When the traffic police saw it, they exclaimed: Good palms! Someone waved happily and replied: comrades have worked hard!

17. Grandpa said to his grandson: Jin Yong's works can be connected into a couplet. Sun Tzu: Isn't it that the snow is shooting at the White Deer Plain, and the smiling scholar is leaning against the garden? Sun Tzu disdainfully said that J.K. Rowling's seven books can also be linked into one sentence: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. ...

18. Do you have a TV? Now, hurry up. A central Zhao Benshan was killed, and the police blocked the northeast. 19 people died, 1 1 people were missing, 1 people were fooled!

19. It is said that on the longest and scariest road in a dark night, a taxi driver drove there and a woman waved to get on the bus at the roadside. It was quiet all the way until the woman spoke. She said to the driver, "Here is an apple for you." It was delicious ... the driver thought it was great, so he took it and took a bite. The woman asked: Is it delicious? The driver said: delicious! The woman replied: I remember I liked eating apples before my death ... The driver stood up and ate all the apple cores! I saw the woman slowly tilt her head to the front and said to the driver, but I don't like it after giving birth. ......