Jokes are suitable for performance.

1, there is an exam in our school. A boy sat in the last row and received an answer from a classmate. He was very excited and immediately began to copy. As soon as he looked up, he saw the invigilator coming towards him with a smile. Obviously, he has seen it. This is my friend's later behavior, which has become a classic of our whole grade: he straightened up and looked directly at the teacher, then put the answer sheet on his nose and punched it hard, and then threw a parabola-the garbage basket behind the entrance. The teacher glared at him several times, but finally he didn't have the courage to pick up the evidence.

2. Go to the canteen to pack your bags when you are a freshman. Who knows that there is something wrong with the punch card machine? I scraped 25 yuan at a time. My brother, who sells steamed stuffed buns, couldn't add it back for a long time. He said piteously, "Nothing, I remember you. I will come here often in the future until all the extra money is used up." I have to agree. Poor me, I ate steamed buns for a whole semester, and Brother Steamed Bun still owes me 2.3 yuan ... The most exasperating thing is that I haven't found a girlfriend after four years in college! ! ! Until graduation, one day I was walking on the campus tree-lined road, listening to a group of girls pointing behind me and whispering, "Yes, that's him! ! Don't find such a boyfriend in the future, and go to the second canteen to eat steamed buns every day without paying! ! "

3. When I was in college, one day at the student meeting of the whole school, the head teacher wanted the Physical Education Commission to check whether the girls at work were there. He said to the Sports Commission (a lecherous boy): Go and tidy up the girls in the class. The sports committee member was flattered and asked in a low voice, "Kiss first … which one?"? The teacher thought for a moment and said, of course, press the student number!

In the history class, the teacher was talking about the first class. Xiaoming had been dozing off, so the teacher asked in class, "Xiaoming, who burned the Yuanmingyuan?" Xiao Ming was so scared that he was completely sleepy that he replied in a panic: "I didn't burn it!" " " .

On the second day's home visit, the teacher talked about it: "I asked Xiaoming, who burned the Yuanmingyuan?" He actually said that he didn't burn it. " At this time, Xiaoming's mother quickly replied: "My Xiaoming has always been honest. He said that if he didn't burn it, then he certainly didn't burn it. " Xiao Ming's father stood up and said unhappily, "burn it and pay for it." .