Who is Tom, the son of the little actor Jose, in the French film "Chinese Puzzle Game"?

The patient said, "You have been around."

"I am the national champion of 10 km long-distance running."

"Yes, listen to me, you will become world champions."

* Diet to lose weight

Overeating never works. He eats and drinks with money, so he becomes fatter.

It is convenient to walk. He had to see a doctor. "

The doctor examined his body carefully and finally told him what I should do: "You spend every day."

Only sixpence, earn your own sixpence. "

* Rare boutiques

Harper's wife: "doctor, my husband worries me about this situation." He has a strange mental illness. "

. Sometimes, I talk to him for hours, but suddenly I find that he also hears a small one.

Enter. "

Doctor: "madam, there is nothing wrong with this." Your husband is lucky, he has one of the most precious qualities. "

. "

*

"Doctor Habit" rushed to the hanger and shouted, "Bring me the toolbox."

"What's the matter, Dad?" Daughter dare not ask.

"A young man called just now and said that he would want it without me."

The daughter was relieved: "It's urgent. I think this phone call is for me."

* Fire-fighting articles

A lady's husband is ill. She can't use a thermometer, but she gave her husband's body.

After taking the temperature, call the doctor: "doctor, please pay attention, my husband's temperature reaches 63 degrees." "

The doctor said, "dear madam, I have nothing, and the fire brigade, which he gave me." "

* "Lost Memories"

Doctor, the doctor found a middle-aged woman. The doctor asked her that she wanted to show her youth.

She said, "We have a complete 20."

So, the doctor on the medical card wrote: "amnesia."

*

Extending a person's life was told that he had only six months to live, and he was very anxious. "Doctor." He asked, "I tried.

And then what? "

"Yes," the doctor replied, "first of all, give all your property to the poor; Second, move to another

Cold and humid forest house to live in; Then he married a woman with nine children. "

"Can this prolong my life?"

"No, but it can turn your life into six months and become the longest six months."

Psychiatrist received a crazy phone call in the middle of the night from one of his patients who was addicted to theft.

"Doctor, you must help me." He admitted, "I can't be the kind of person who has to steal.

The old habit is broken again. "

"Oh, for God's sake." The psychiatrist replied, "Stole two ashtrays,

Call me in the morning. "

:: Veterinary sponsorship

It has been suggested that a dog often barks at night, which keeps him awake. What he wants is a dog's illness.

Let her go to the vet. The vet looked at it and said, "This is earache. You let it take these pills. "

All right. "Say, handed him a medicine.

The man gave the dog medicine, but the dog barked at night. He ran to find another vet.

"I'll give you three kinds of drugs. The "vet" dog ate you and you ate the other two.

Yes I dare say, so you will always have a dog asleep. "

* In the past

Doctors are silent, and other doctors always let patients go first and just get off the bus.

The diagnosis is correct. He didn't have a named patient to open it, just didn't talk and started treatment.

The neighbor said to his wife, "The doctor really controlled your husband, and you are more talented." "

The lady said, "I don't know if he is a doctor, but not long ago, he has been a veterinarian." "

*

Same result. Patient: "Doctor, do you really think what I want to do is hepatitis?" Sometimes, according to doctors who treat hepatitis,

But the patient died of other diseases. "

Doctor: "I treated hepatitis, and the patient died of hepatitis." "

* Unfortunate patients

A dentist, a patient with his first tooth, felt very nervous. He just needs to pull out his teeth.

Down, a hand trembling, teeth fell into the patient's throat.

"I'm very sorry." The doctor said, "Your illness is no longer mine? Scope of responsibility, you will find that

The original laryngologist went. "After the doctor's examination.

Throat, said: "the tooth fell out, and the stomach also went." Your stomach specialist found it. "

After examining the patient, the gastroenterologist adjusted the light and said, "My teeth have fallen out and my intestines are gone. You find a professor of intestines. "

Branches. "

Finally, the ass patient who rushed to the sky was in the anorectal department. When the doctor looked at it with an endoscope, he actually called

Say, "My God, why is your ass teething?" Go to the dentist Let's go "

*

Coin Carlson said, "I really don't understand what's going on in this hospital. After I was admitted to the hospital, the doctor said that I was. "

& gt Appendicitis, gallstones, another doctor said. "

"What was the result?"

Author: I am Baobao 2005-11-2109: 51Reply to this statement.

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2 [spoof] essence

"They think of each other, and finally have to guess the two sides of the coin to determine.

My tonsil glands have been removed. "

* Difficulty in division of labor

When a woman gives birth to a child in a hospital, the pain is more severe. She asked the nurse who blew air.

: "Get through the hardest time"

The nurse replied, "It's easy now. It is difficult to distinguish the continuation of 18 years. "

* Wrong.

BR/>； After injecting the patient, the nurse asked, "What do you do?"

The patient replied, "Just like you."

The nurse was surprised: "Oh, it's our colleague." "

"no!" The patient quickly explained, "We are of the same type and different lines."

"Why?" The nurse doesn't understand.

"I am at my peak."

:: Police

With the fans, because the fans didn't buy tickets, they had to climb up to see the telephone poles outside the football field.

After reading it, I will see a policeman coming towards us. As soon as he came down, he saw the policeman waving and asking:

"No goal?"

"One to zero, we are in the lead. The fans answered.

"Well, you should see it now. Be careful not to fall. " The police apparently walked away.

At the end of the game, the police came and asked:

"One, two, the visiting team won ..."

Do "What's the score?" When the fans didn't wait to finish, the police stared at them and shouted, "Huh? Then you still don't mind watching me come down.

Anxiety "

When the fans saw this scene, they hurried down, only to hear thunderous drums washing the stadium.

The policeman quickly said, "Come on, go up and see who won."

& gt* Punish football fans.

Rolando, a football fan of this city for 27 years, is wrong, because he watches football in this city.

Other teams rushed to the stadium, injured the nose of a player of the visiting team, and crowded the stadium on the spot.

Court trial.

In the dock, Bowie said, "I didn't see my bat or my head."

Then, as if seeing the city team lose, I almost turned into a red-eyed cow ... "

A city court ruled that if you miss your life, you may not be able to watch the football match. Since then, Baoxi's family has increased every month.

Just smashed a TV set.

* "So I scolded"

When watching a football match, the wife asked her husband:

"? Scold the audience for why people around them "threw his soda bottle at the referee."

"Didn't you hit him?"

"So he was scolded ..."

* Don't throw bottles

Before the football match began, the person in charge of maintaining public order at the venue said, "Ladies and gentlemen, please don't throw bottles."

There is a referee because all bottles can be returned. "

* football field and/>; I bought a piece of land in a nearby city, the Brazilian Farmers Cemetery.

& ltBr, start the tractor at once, plow the field and dig out a bowl from the front teeth.

"Bad luck," he muttered, and continued to invest in development.

100 meter, he pulled out a tooth.

"It's really puzzling," the farmer himself, until about 30 steps later, still had to go forward and plow the field.

Boss, dig a tooth out of the ground.

"This is definitely wrong." He sighed, turned the tractor and drove home. Night: "Before I bought this land, it was by no means a grave."

Land? I demand that you give me my money back. I don't like haunted places "

Two days later, a telegram said, "Don't be angry, this used to be a football field."

* creative difficulties

"I have seen more attractive football matches, and I know football like the back of my hand."

"Really? So, tell me, how many holes are there in the football net? "

* No funeral day is scheduled.

Luo Peng's husband is a football coach. He has been married for 30 years. Over the years, as long as he is

& gt in the football match, he doesn't care about anything. One day, Devo

Bag. The husband was in a particularly bad mood when he was absorbed in playing games, but he still refused to comfort his wife to watch the game.

& gt Bogardi was genuinely angry: "Frank, you may not even attend my funeral."

In addition "

The husband calmly said to his wife, "Luo Banying, you will do well." I never had a ball on the day of the game.

Arrange your funeral. "

*

Football encouraged players in the first half, and the team lost miserably. In the second half, the audience walked more than half of the game.

& gt At the beginning, the coach encouraged the players to say, "Come on, guys, next game."

This is good for us, because the audience booed us. "

* A fasting day will be arranged for the competition.

In a Catholic university football team and Kazakh team, Maxwell, an old star, is a member of Harvard University team.

Coach time

During the> competition, there was an argument between the two sides. God, it was the forward hospital team of Harvard University that bit a team on the player's finger.

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"Tomorrow-tomorrow-next year; The game we arranged was last Friday. " stutter

Maxwell said to the injured players, "Because they didn't-didn't-didn't eat meat that day."

* Don't you dare to hold the target?

Gabrovo's football coach pointed to the goal area and said to the goalkeeper, "Look at this."

Are you online? If you use it to smash the ball, the price is not cheap.

Do you have any money to deduct the waiver from your salary? "

* sent by god/>; Milo, the bill

& ltBr The nurse who went to the hospital said, "I am poor. Please put me in a third-class ward."

& gt and then what? "

"No one can help you, okay?" The nurse asked.

"No, I only have one sister. She is a nun, but she is also poor. "

The nurse said angrily, "from time to time, this poor nun, because she married God."

Milo: "Well, we ask you to put me in first class." "When I was discharged from the hospital, your hospital bill was below.

Give it to me. "

* The doctor suspected

"I asked, not Mr. El Nino." A doctor asked his colleague, "Why do you treat patients?"

In particular, always ask him in detail what is a wine lover, and wine brands can judge the health status of patients according to them.

Health status? "

"No, of course not, but according to the brand of wine can judge the patient's financial situation, and then according to

So as to determine the outpatient expenses. "

* Dentist

G always smiles in the boxing match.

Slowly say beside him, "You are a boxing teacher."

G replied, "No, I'm a dentist."

* "Every time I count to eight ..."

A big guy went to the hospital for examination and consultation for insomnia.

"It's very simple," said the doctor. "You just need to lie in bed at night with a slight neurasthenia.

The number of meditation varies from 1 to 10, and the number of cycles is so easy to fall asleep.

Hold "

A week later, Li Han went to the hospital. He looks more tired than last year.

The surprised doctor asked him how he got such a field.

The patient said, "I lie in bed and walk from 1 to 10 every night, but every time,

On the count of eight, I jumped. "

"Why?"

"My job is a boxing coach." The patient replied.

:: Nobel Peace Prize

In the second round, the boxing coach asked his team, "This is the gold you want to shoot. What is it? "

Card? ? Want to win the Nobel Peace Prize "

* Weight

The doctor asked the patient, "How much do you weigh?"

"68 kilograms."

"Your time is the most important number?"

& lt85 kg. "

"That's the least time?"

"3.20 kilograms."

* At the clinic

practice

"It seems that your cough is better today than yesterday."

"If the doctor. You know, I practiced all night. "

* X-ray fence up.

An old man bought a low-seated motorcycle, but only dared to ride it for an hour.

Kilometers, because once he tried a real motorcycle to move together, people rushed into the fence and hit it several times.

He broke his tendon and was admitted to the hospital. When the doctor gave him a chest X-ray, he was the boss.

Sound drink a way:

"Yes, yes, the fence board can see clearly. Why can't you see the motorcycle?"

* Build a house

Mr. Miller went to see a doctor. After a thorough examination, the doctor said, "Through your health."

Trough, you have water on your legs, kidney calculi, and lime in your arteries ... "

"Now you just say that I have sand on my head, and then I started building a house."

* Different locations

Patient: "I'm embarrassed to tell you the truth: I think your wife has given me too many operations." "

Surgeon: "But, dear, I believe in the value of your own life. You don't like to be low."

Lady. "* Weight

The doctor asked the patient, "How much do you weigh?"

"68 kilograms."

"The most important thing for you is how much time you have?"

& lt85 kg. "

"Is there at least?"

"3.20 kilograms."

* at

Practice clinic.

"It seems that your cough today is much better than yesterday."

"You don't know the doctor. I practiced all night. "

/& gt； an old man.

* Pull-up resistance in X-ray fence

& ltBr bought a scooter with a low seat. But he only dares to ride as high as 20 kilometers, because once he tries a real motorcycle and acts together, people will rush into the fence and fight hard.

His ribs were broken and he was admitted to the hospital. When the doctor gave him a chest X-ray, the old man's voice shouted

Yes, yes, the fence board can see clearly how it can't see the motorcycle.

* Build a house

Mr. Miller went to see a doctor. After a thorough examination, the doctor said, "Through your health."

Trough, you have water in your legs, kidney calculi, and lime in your arteries ... "

"Now you just say that I have sand on my head, and then I started building a house."

& gt

:: Different positions

Patient: "I'm sorry to tell you: my wife, I think your operation is too high."

Surgeon: "But, dear, I believe their lives will be as precious as yours."

Miss as low as "

*

& gt No staff member has been absent from work for two days. When I came to the company for the third time, the boss complained: "You!"

What have you been doing these days? "

The staff answered. "I accidentally fell into the street from the third floor window."

The boss asked angrily, "Have you fallen from the third floor for two days?"

* exceeds the br number.

"Well, the supplier who gave me a headache, his wife gave birth to three sons. Look, it serves you right, at this time.

Let him experience this product for his children. "

Today, there are only pork rolls in the restaurant.

The boss of a famous traveler said, "You know, I used to live in a wild place."

Five-year cannibal tribe? "。

"Oh, my God!" The boss cried. "You come to us, must be to let you down.

We are just pork here today. "

* should not be ignored

The salesman knocked on the tired and empty corner of the restaurant and asked for a glass of wine. He just took a sip.

Suddenly stunned: "Why, isn't this the right to a glass of water?"

"Yo," the shopkeeper was taken aback. "Oh, I forgot to mix the wine."

*

Mortgage customer: "Sorry, I can't pay for this meal because I forgot to bring money." "

Restaurant owner: "Never mind, please write your name on the statue on the wall. It will be better when you pay next time." "

Customer: "That won't do. People will see my name." "

Restaurant owner: "take off your coat and hang his body on the wall." Can't you cover it? "

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:: Literacy teaching

There is a sign in the lobby of the flea hotel: "Please keep quiet at night and don't disturb the guests."

Shortly after Tian, someone put forward the following sentence: "Ask the flea to read."

A group of tourists went to visit the skeleton of the castle.

Patrol, in a deep tunnel, they found several.

Skull.

"What about the skull? What is this? Are they still alive? " The tourist asked.

The tour guide said, "I think they are even more reluctant to spend money on tour guides." "

*

Tourists besieged his Mexican tourists, and he said, "At that time, there was

There are so many Indians around me, but it's terrible. My left is India, and it is also the right and front of Indians.

Indians are also behind Indians. "

"What would you do? How can we save it? "

"What I bought at that time, they sold me a skin pad."

* This elevator

Someone wants to taste the taste of staying in a grand hotel. It is reported that he saved enough money to go to the hotel for an operation.

The waiter pointed out the route and walked happily inside.

However, soon he turned back and said angrily, "I can't do it." What kind of house is it? "

Let me pay such a big price to live in a big cabinet. There are only folding chairs in the room. I quit. "

The waiter smiled and said, "Sir, you are mistaken. This is the elevator. "

* Adopted unanimously.

There is a small town in Pennsylvania. A fire broke out in winter. The fire was stopped.

It is difficult to control the freezing of chromatographic column. Afterwards, the city Council held a meeting to discuss how to prevent the same unfortunate thing from happening again in the future.

After hours of heated debate, one member jumped up and shouted, "I am very touched.

After three days of fire, the fire brigade should make a thorough inspection. "

Someone immediately seconded it unanimously.

*

A guy goes for a haircut and manicure. He looks beautiful.

He invited her to dinner and went to the movies that night. I don't think I should accept your invitation. His girl is tight.

I said, "I'm married."

"Your husband has a loud voice," Creative Playboy said for her. "I'm sure he won't mind.

. "

"Well, ask himself." Lady, "he said he shaved you."

* breasts

John likes long hair. Some of his friends think it looks like a girl's hair, but they

I never make fun of it, because John, a big man, is full of energy. He thinks making fun of his hair.

meaningless

John goes to the barber's twice a month for a haircut, shampoo and haircut. One day, the teacher said to him, "Why not you?"

Did I cut my hair in half to make it tidy? If I give it to you

After a word, no one will know you, I'm sure. "

John said, "You may be right-but I'm sure if you cut my hair like this."

No one will know you. "

* Endless tips

I stayed because I kept reminding the people who opened the door, the servants in the restaurant,

There is a week-long hotel tour in the cloakroom, miss, so this endless cutting-edge regime hates it.

Someone knocked at the door and he asked, "Who is it?"

"Sir, I sent a telegram."

"Telegraph from the door." He doesn't want to tip people who hesitate for a moment.

The door said, "sir, I can't."

That's endless. "How is that possible?" Like servants. "sir, because the telegram is on the disc."

* Strange orders

One day, while urging passengers on horseback, it began to rain. The whole body becomes wet and cold,

Later, he finally came to a small town inn, which was crowded with people and he couldn't get close to the fire.

Then he called the innkeeper and said, "Get some fish to feed my horse."

The boss said, "The horse doesn't eat fish."

The passenger said, "Never mind, just do what you are told."

When all the people in the inn heard this strange order, they went to see all the fish-eating horses and left the whole room for tourists.

He sat by the fire to keep warm.

When the innkeeper's group came back, the boss said, "Your horse doesn't eat fish."

The passenger replied, "Never mind, put the fish on the table, so I put the dry clothes away."

I eat. "

*

F thieves countries practice military dictatorship, thieves are everywhere, and society

Chip chaos. One day, the guards went to see the supreme ruler of the library.

It is strange to see a disabled soldier standing at the door.

How about the library? To be such a person and lead "BR/> Please rest assured that things will never be lost here.

Yes "Replied the guard captain.

"So, why let it stand here and waste it here?"

"As long as he stands there, he can't steal anywhere else!"

* Renamed as

After Hitler came to power, one of them asked to go to the police station.

Change the name of residence. The policeman said, "Sir, on the whole, I

We are not allowed to change. Maybe there is something special about you.

The name of the reason, can you tell me your name? "

"Adolf stinks."

"Yes, this question is clear, change the name, and then,

Do you want to change your name? "

"Say something, smelly feet."

* Never accept gifts.

& lt Because of the business of the contractor, he will use a new one.

Luxury car/> Bribery of members. The congressman frowned.

Said, "sir, basically forever."

The consistent behavior of reputation and my own feelings do not allow me to accept such a gift. "

The contractor said, "I understand you, sir.

Ok, I'll sell you a car for 10 dollars. "

After thinking for a while, the member replied bluntly: "In that case, I"

Bought two. "

*

Divorced soldiers decided to be executed by veterans and expressed their ideas.

The clerk asked him, "Are you married?"

The soldier said. "Not yet, sir, but all the time."

"I don't think you need to get married," Executive 2.

The soldier wants to change his mind. "The army is your wife. She dresses you and dresses you. "

Provide food and shelter, let your body get this stick, but it will always be with you. What would you ask for? "

"Want a divorce, sir!"

* Sit in the wrong place

A woman sat on a bench in the park and looked around. No one will.

Sit up straight and relax your legs. After a while, a tramp

Go up to her and say:

"How dare you," said the woman. "I'm not that kind of beautiful child. How can I go together? "

Four hooks and three women riding! "

"Well, say," tramp, "what are you doing in my bed?"

:: Freedom of lawyers

"You lie!" The defense lawyer shouted at the other side.

"You are a liar!" The teacher accused the opposing lawyer.

The judge knocked on the wood and looked at it coldly. "Now the lawyer represents the identity of the parties. Below. "

Keep listening. "

* Please laugh.

BR/>； The American military camp will be a military camp that has visited foreign countries. Finally, he talked about standing in front of the team. on one's pins

In the jumping atmosphere, he spent nearly 10 minutes telling an interesting joke.

Translator, he only used three sentences. Everyone present laughed.

The general feeling is flattered. Later, I asked the translator, "Why do you three make such a long joke?"

Can you make it clear in a few words? "

"Well, general," replied the translator politely, "I don't think your jokes are that easy to understand.

Beautiful women, so I said to them, "It's just a joke."

Funny, you have to laugh and be friendly at the same time! "

An Englishman went to Paris to give an academic report. When he finished his speech, the following

Sparse applause made him angry.

Soon, a Frenchman boarded the platform. The Englishman thought, "This time, I hope you can understand something."

You are welcome! "Therefore, everyone in the French is finished, and he put all his eggs in one basket.

People applauded.

Later, there was a Frenchman sitting next to him, and there was nothing I could do. He said. "Sir, I

If you are, then it has never been appreciated so much. You know, all the French people on the stage are.

The speech report just translated is "

:: Coup d 'etat

Judge: "Anyway, I don't believe that such a decent and cautious person can escape."

Beating a wife is as fragile as a petite woman. "

John: "but she called me and tortured me, which made me completely impatient."

Judge: ". ? What did she say? "

John: "She shouted,' Come on, hit me, I'm not afraid, just touch me. "

Look, I'll draw your bald head. Judge. " "

Judge: "This case"

"Five years," the judge was told. "How can you prove yourself guilty?"

"OK," of course, let me think. "Give you five years, that's enough."

Author:! I was a baby. I replied to this statement on 2005-11-2109: 54.

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* After dialing the wrong number

"Hey, it's the right side of Raymond's bar."

"No, I am a private house."

"I want a' Raymond'."

"What would you do if this hit me?"

"Is that your phone number at Ramon Bar?" BR/>； "No."

"Is that why you have to pick up the receiver?"

*/>； A famous political activist launched a campaign to find meaningful answers.

& ltBr When he visited the mental hospital, something happened.

I want a mobile phone to leave the hospital, but there is no label.

In anger, he shouted at the female operator, "Girl, do you know who I am?"

"I don't know." The operator replied, "But I know where you are calling from?"

*

Igor: "No fishing on this lake"

Angler: "Yes, I said, why don't the fish take the bait?"

* The reason for the risk.

Two explorers met in the tropical jungle of central Africa and set up a tent in front of them. They cross each other.

speak "

"I came here," said one. "I was born to like adventure. I'm tired of city life, and car exhaust gives off steam.

It stinks. On the muddy road after snow, I like listening to birds.

The sound of children turning; I like to put my feet where it is never cold. Dude, what are you doing here?

And then what? "

"I'm coming." The other said, "Because my son practices saxophone all day.

* lion training

"Are you a lion tamer?"

"yes."

"Why don't those fierce lions eat you? Your body looks very thin ... "

"This is why ah, the reason of the lion.