A meaningful ancient and modern joke

A woman said to her cheating husband: If you dare to divorce and marry that little demon, I will marry her father. From now on, my son will call you brother-in-law and you will call me mother! My husband fainted on the spot, so he behaved well. ...

My wife spent a lot of money on plastic surgery and turned into a beautiful woman to go home in a few days! When he came in, he said to his puzzled husband, "What's the matter? Don't know me? " The husband paused, then said in surprise, "Come in quickly, my wife is not at home."

One day, I suddenly found that I had a big aunt, a second aunt, a fourth aunt and a fifth aunt, but I didn't have a third aunt. So I went to ask my dad: Why don't I have a third aunt? I thought for a moment: Did Third Aunt die when she was young? My dad said angrily, your third aunt is your mother!

A girl met a gangster at night. The gangster asked fiercely, stop! Why are you going? The girl didn't want to be robbed of money, and said piteously, go and borrow money. The gangster still asked fiercely: What do you borrow money for? The girl was afraid of being robbed. She said that she had no money to treat sexually transmitted diseases. The gangster roared: get out!

Mr. A found that there was often a short message from a stranger on his wife's mobile phone, and each message had the same content: "Brother Zhao asked you to do something for me." One night 10: 30, Mr. A caught the cheating wife and the man who was having sex and cursed: TMD, do you think I can't read that message? I 10: 30 take off your bra!

The boy said to the girl, "I fell in love with you at first sight!" " "The girl asked strangely," when did you first see me? The boy quickly explained, "It was a school day." I saw you and your family come to school. The skirt you are wearing is very beautiful! "! !" The girl was furious: "I didn't wear a skirt that day, it was my mother who wore a skirt!" " "

Speaking of a small secret bank, I finally broke into the safe and found there was no money in it, but I put some jelly in it. The thief was puzzled, but he couldn't think for nothing and ate the jelly. The next day, Mr. Thief bought a newspaper specially to see how much influence stealing a bank can bring. Hey ~ since it made headlines, the only sperm bank in our city was stolen last night!

The dog proposed to the bear, and the bear said, "I don't want to marry you, I want to marry the cat." The dog was puzzled and asked, "Why?" The bear said, "if I marry a dog, I will have a bear." If I marry a cat, I will have a panda! " "

There are three children sitting in front of the clinic-a big boy, a little boy and a girl. The nurse asked, what's the matter, little friend? Big boy: I swallowed a glass ball. The nurse asked the other one, and you? Girl: That glass ball is mine. The nurse asked again, what about you? Little boy: I will play next!

Somali pirates: "3 million dollars, one price!" " "China official:" 2.5 million! Pirate: Do you think I'm stupid? I know you said 250 was a curse! China official: "Three million is three million! But the invoice should say seven million! " The pirate's eyes were full of tears and he held up his thumb: "You still insist on robbing money! ! ! "

A new foreigner lives next door to a friend. One night, a foreigner knocked at the door for help and said, "My TV is broken and I can't change the channel." The buddy looked down at his watch and said calmly, "It will be like this on TV all over the country from 7: 00 to 7: 30 in the evening."