Humorous jokes at work

Jokes are short in length, simple and ingenious in story, often unexpected, giving people a wonderful feeling of being suddenly enlightened. Most of them reveal absurd phenomena in life, which are ironic and entertaining. Below I bring some humorous jokes about work to you, I hope you like them!

Humorous jokes at work 1 1. An office worker is addicted to gambling and owes tens of thousands of usurers.

The creditor caught him and gave him a good lesson, saying, "If you have no money to pay back, you have to chop your fingers!" " ! Chop off his index finger first! "

The office worker was shocked: "Please! Never cut off your index finger! I have to use it to punch in! "

2. Because of the input method, I turned Director Ye into a wild boar in my reply to her email. When I was desperate, I saw that I had turned this salute into a resignation salute, and I suddenly felt that this email was written like nature. ...

3. A man can't find a job because of his short stature!

One day, the man came home and said excitedly to his wife, "I found a job!" " "

The wife was overjoyed and asked, "Great, what job?"

The man said, "Sales! The boss said that when I stopped in my room, the house looked much bigger! "

On Monday, a man and a woman were late for work at the same time. As a result, the man was deducted from the bonus, but the woman was safe and sound.

The male staff was not convinced and ran to ask the female staff: "I was punished for being late for oversleeping. You are late, too. Why haven't you been punished? "

I overslept. The female staff member replied.

Humorous jokes at work 2 1 Brother, I know your work is as hot as summer, but you can't show your back in the office no matter how hot it is!

Allow your soul to stay in bed, but never tolerate your body to stay in bed. I reiterate that it is strictly forbidden to be late for work, and offenders will be severely punished.

3, overtime can not only get overtime pay, but also avoid quarreling with your wife because you don't want to do housework. What a wonderful thing! You don't want to work overtime yet!

4, dear, this equipment, if you are safe, it will be sunny, if you are not safe, hey hey, I will deduct your salary.

5. Don't always play mahjong. You must love your jobs, work hard and strive for more bonuses. If you don't do well, you will only have a little basic living expenses, and you may not even be able to play mahjong!

Humorous jokes at work 3 1. Job interview needs interview education. The examiner asked, "Did you go to graduate school?"

Interviewer: "Yes, my wife is!" " "

2. "Boss, my wife is going to have a baby soon. Can I take a few days off? "

"Yes, I'll get 5000 yuan from the finance department and buy more supplements for your wife. I will give it to you. "

"Oh, my boss, that's very kind of you. No wonder my wife praises you all day. "

The company sent a group of us on a business trip and made a report when we came back.

Everyone wants to know what we have learned. I spoke and said, "Playing cards, playing mahjong, and going to the foot bath city, I have learned everything I didn't know before."

Today, my female colleague wore a very revealing dress. Let me comment. At first glance, I said: it makes me want to commit a crime.

She said, then do it. I do not blame you for this.

I was so excited that when I went up, I held her down, pulled the gold necklace off her neck and left. I'm glad this happened to me.

My colleague's daughter is white and fat. I heard that several other female colleagues have a good effect of acupuncture and cupping to lose weight. She went with her heart, too, and everything else was fine. She showed us a large bruise on her lower back, and a colleague shouted, "Wow! How like a stamped pork! "

Humorous joke at work 4 1, there is no room for the great bodhisattva in the temple.

Going to a job fair with my classmates, both of them voted for the same company, but it seems that people are not interested. After he came back, he complained that MM, who was in charge of recruitment, was ignorant and could not see his strengths. I sneer: "People are well-informed, how can you not see your strengths?" However, people think that your strengths are not long enough ... "He paused, and then retorted," Aren't you the same result? "

I took a break and answered, "How can I be like you? Didn't you hear what people finally told me? " I cleared my throat: "People say,' There is no room for a big bodhisattva in a small temple!'" "

2. Invite you to dinner ~

My colleague asked me to help her. I said why I should help you. Colleagues said you helped me and invited you to dinner. I just want to help her finish all kinds of big meals. She said, "well, I'll invite you to dinner tomorrow and bring a bag of mustard tuber to the first floor of the canteen tomorrow." I invite you to dinner and add whatever you want. " After listening, I was drunk, too.

3. Being with 2B is more interesting.

A colleague, usually special 2. Everyone likes to play with him. On this day of work, I walked into the office happily and couldn't wait to show off my new mobile phone. Forget this. When I went to work the next day, I entered the office in a daze. The director asked him: What's the matter? Do you think you are in the wrong state? 2B said: I bought a new mobile phone yesterday and downloaded a weighing software at night. After the download was successfully installed, I put my mobile phone on the ground and stepped on it ... no one in the office could hold back from laughing.

4. Can you still have fun?

Idiot colleagues often watch videos on their mobile phones. Just now, I was looking at them again I came out of the office and saw several people gathered together. Hearing what the video said about underwear cups, I grabbed it and said, "I won the Olympics!" Great, big breasts! Forget it. I'll take it to the toilet first! " Then everyone looked at me with a stunned expression, and then my sister stopped talking and turned slightly red … Excuse me, can you let me know when we talk about business in the video? Can you still have fun?

Step 5 tell a joke

A famous entrepreneur personally presided over the interview. I turned in my resume with trepidation. The entrepreneur asked nothing but, "Tell a joke!" "I talked for a long time, and finally came up with a joke about parrots:" A man went to a pet store to buy parrots, and the owner said to him,' We have three parrots, the blue one can speak four languages, which costs 1000 yuan, the red one can speak six languages, which costs 3,000 yuan, and the yellow one can't speak, which costs 5,000 yuan. "How did this happen?" the man shouted. "It can't do anything!" "Well," explained the shopkeeper, "we don't know, but the other two call it the boss." "After I say that finish, my face is blue. I know it's over this time!

6. Are you from a famous university?

Last June, 5438+065438+ 10, I learned that a job fair for news system talents was being held in Shanghai, and I rushed there non-stop. I hung up my clothes and held them in my hand for fear of being crumpled in my suit on the train. When I arrived in Shanghai, I found a bathroom to change clothes, adjusted my hair and went straight to the job fair.

There are more than 20 resumes in the bag, one after another. I didn't expect the other person to look up at my resume and ask me, "Are you from a famous university?" I can't wait to tell her the glorious history of the school in the past hundred years, but under the attention of everyone, I still disappeared in despair.

Humorous jokes at work. A lumberjack applied for the job of foreman: Try the forest in front of you and see how many trees you can cut in a minute. After a minute, the foreman: Wow! 20 trees a minute! It's amazing! Where did you work before? Worker: Sahara forest. Foreman: Never heard of it. I've only heard of the Sahara desert. Worker: Yes, I changed my name later!

2. A woman went to apply for a job, and the boss asked: How many children do you have? She replied: five. The boss asked: What are their names? She replied: Xiao Ming, Xiao Ming, Xiao Ming, Xiao Ming, Xiao Ming. The boss asked: everyone is called Xiao Ming, so what do you want them to eat you? She said, that's easy. As long as I call Xiao Ming, they will all come. The boss asked again, but what if it's just a child? She said, that's easier. I just need to call him by his last name.

3. A friend went to a Korean cosmetics store and asked the waiter, "Are all the things here imported from Korea?" The waiter replied, "No, all our products are exported to Korea." foolish

4. A lost man is asking a passer-by coming across the street: "Excuse me! Excuse me, where is this? " "You are at a fork in the road now," said the passerby. "Sir, I guess you must be engaged in the information technology industry." Lost humanity: "Because the answer you gave me was very technical, but it was completely useless?" "Sir, you must be the manager." Passers-by said, "Because I don't know where I am? I don't know where I should go, but you want me to help you solve the problem. Your situation is the same as before, but the responsibility lies with me! "

A company held an emergency meeting, but due to some unexpected things, the chairman failed to arrive in time. The people in charge were impatient and all smoked to kill time. The chairman suddenly pushed the door in and shouted, strangle all smokers!

Humorous jokes at work 6 1. When dealing with overtime, managers need to master a scale, which can not only ensure the smooth progress of work, but also meet the needs of employees for quality of life. Some leading bosses are getting bigger and bigger because they can't master this degree well.

2. The leader is not in his seat. When I answer the phone, I will say: Hello, our leader is not here. In fact, every time I want my colleagues to add the word "le" after this sentence. Should I see a psychiatrist?

3. Some monopoly units have an obvious feature. They would rather spend a lot of money to hire a lot of security guards with batons and quarrel with customers than open more windows to facilitate the masses. The money is not spent where it should be spent, and the people are distressed, but they are not distressed. They just make you feel bad and let you know where you stand.

Several colleagues were chatting this morning. A colleague complained: "hey, I have a difficult wife at home, and I was paid all my salary this month." Now the weather is getting hotter and hotter, and I have no money to buy short sleeves! " Another colleague came back: buddy, cut off your autumn sleeves and you will have short sleeves, and sew them again next winter. That's why I came here. ...

The husband of the company secretary is out, and the manager lives with him at the secretary's house in the evening. I didn't expect to come back in the middle of the night and see two people sleeping in the bedroom bed, so I slept on the sofa in the living room without being disturbed. In the morning, the manager woke up and saw the secretary's husband sleeping on the sofa. He couldn't help but sigh: What a good man! I can't bear to disturb my rest!

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