Why can people bear the death of their parents but not their children?

On this topic, I can't help but think of Lu Xun's statement about "tragedy": tragedy is to destroy valuable things for people to see. From an artistic point of view, life itself, whether old or young, is beautiful and awesome.

But why do we feel more heartbroken when our children leave this world? From my personal point of view, there are two things I understand best:

1. From the perspective of age, children mean hope and future, but death cuts it off.

The famous poet Haizi once said: When you come to the world, you must look at the sun.

The sun means hope and future.

Compared with elderly parents, it is more unbearable for ordinary people to face the death of their children, because the children are still young, they have not experienced a more exciting life, and they have not even had time to get married and have children and realize their dreams. How can they leave this world in a hurry?

Although we may love our children selfishly with the idea of carrying on the family line and even raising children to prevent old age, our hearts have never given up the expectation that he will live a better life when he grows up. Now that the child is gone, all this seems to have failed. White-haired people send black-haired people, and the pain of cone heart occupies the heart, and it seems that they are dozens of years older.

Those old people who have lost their independence are facing the bleak silence at home. Without children's laughter and family happiness, it is difficult to be happy again.

Judging from the time when it happened, the child's death was more sudden and silent.

People's inner emotions are closely related to their acceptance of accidents. Those unacceptable realities often happen unexpectedly, and before we have established any internal preparation, the accident comes.

Generally speaking, the death of a child is usually an accident. Parents may have had a good chat with him the day before, but the next day they received an accident such as a car accident and left quietly, even without time to say goodbye, which made people lament the impermanence of life.

Most old people died of illness. In the long-term treatment process, we have gradually accepted this fact and are fully prepared psychologically. If we really try our best, there is nothing to regret. Or normal birth and death, is an inviolable natural law.

In any case, the relatives who once lived together will touch our hearts when they leave. But it is precisely because of the impermanence of this life that we should cherish every moment, because we never know which comes first, the accident or tomorrow. I always believe that even if they leave, they will become stars in the sky to protect us.

Life can't live forever. Birth, old age, illness and death are the natural laws of all things. Anyone who lives will die. If their parents leave us once they reach the limit, just give us comfort and care when they need us most, and let them go on the road with peace of mind and no regrets. This is our greatest wish as children, although the departure of relatives will not bring us anything. As long as we do our duty of courage and care before their death, try our best to do what the old man told us, and put all the virtues of filial piety first, as long as we feel worthy of our parents and ancestors, then we can face it with peace of mind. Although we are sad, it will gradually fade with time.

But if the children walk in front of themselves first, it means that the children have encountered natural disasters and man-made disasters. Because they are young, they should not leave the old man, but they are reluctant to go back step by step with pain and tears. If they can talk, they must be shouting, Dad, Mom, help me, Dad, Mom, I love you, but I don't want to go. I'm not filial.

But we are human beings, not gods. We are so helpless in the face of death. Seeing the children struggling in the pain, struggling under the poisonous claws of the disease, we can't get up to help, leaving only heart-wrenching pain and long-lasting thoughts. As an old man, how can they let go of that kind of father-son relationship? Mother and daughter are deeply in love. I believe that old people can only live in memories and sadness for the rest of their lives.

Parents died of unnatural reasons, such as a car accident, which is hard for children to accept! Not the parties, may not understand their pain, but also suffered a great blow. However, with the passage of time, people will come out with age and psychological maturity.

Because of the natural laws of parents, children are more receptive. Because people have long known that life has a natural aging process. Regret being sad, but accept it slowly. Because one day I will.

The death of a child is unnatural, accidental and man-made. It is difficult for parents to accept this for the following reasons:

1. efforts go to waste: the whole point of efforts is to raise children. As a result, after so many years of hard work, I still want to wait for him to grow up, get married and have children, but I just leave. How can I stand it!

2. Parenting knows parents' grace: In the past, parents raised themselves and lived under the protection of their parents, and they did not feel the hardship of this kind of effort! When I became a parent, I realized how difficult it was to raise a child.

People are always like this, because they pay a lot and know that it is not easy to support their lives, so they will cherish it all the more.

The love implanted in the bottom of my heart has disappeared: after giving birth to a child, he will walk, jump, go to school and be sensible from his infancy. Every day, I see a lively baby, happy to call my parents, love and affection, and accumulate them in my heart bit by bit. Suddenly, I said no, and it was gone. My heart was hollowed out.

It's easy to feel sad: children's shadows are everywhere in life. Or see how other people's children are doing. Wherever you go, you are sad.

Disappearing life is like a falling meteor. I hope they can finally find a place to put it.

-Hello, I am Liuliqiao Parenting, an internationally renowned IP fairy tale picture book author, a picture book reading tutor, an editor and a member of the Early Education Research Association. Share the international cutting-edge parenting concept. Welcome attention.

I've actually been thinking about this problem.

I have discussed the issue of having a second child with others before. Some people say that having a second child is for fear of losing independence. And I have always opposed the idea of "being afraid of losing independence and having a second child". I once said: "Parents are our only, husbands are our only, and they will all leave us early. Will we recognize more godparents because we are afraid of losing them? "

We can accept the departure of our parents, but we can't bear the departure of our children. Because, I have been psychologically prepared, my parents will definitely leave us early, and we have never been psychologically prepared that our children will leave us early.

Especially in adulthood, marriage makes us walk out of the family where we came from, and our attachment to our parents shifts to our lovers and children. In addition, we are psychologically prepared and accompanied by our loved ones and children. Therefore, the pain of losing parents will not reach an unacceptable level.

If a person's marriage is happy, in fact, the departure of his lover and children will hit him equally hard, and no one will be lighter than others. It's just that when our lover leaves, we feel that we can't go with him, because the children still need us, and we restrain our pain with a sense of responsibility.

It is almost unexpected that the child left before his parents. Few people can bear this sudden accident. If the child dies slowly in the long bed, it will be much better for parents to be psychologically prepared.

Most parents died of natural causes, and most of them have done their filial piety after long-term treatment. After the death of parents, children are naturally heartbroken, but with the comfort of their children and relatives, they can get out of their grief faster.

The parents died unexpectedly, and the children were unbearable, but they were mindful of their responsibilities and regarded their children as their future hopes, and gradually came out with the passage of time.

And if the child dies, from October of pregnancy to adulthood, the parents' efforts and hardships are only known to the parents themselves, and most children die of accidental diseases, which is unbearable. In addition, it will be more painful to look at elderly parents and imagine their loneliness in their later years. Is it something that others can imagine?

My sister-in-law's daughter, a girl in her twenties, died of illness, and both husband and wife were going crazy. Fortunately, there is another son. Five years have passed, but every time I mention it, my eyes are full of tears. Who knows how they spend every sleepless night?

May every soul rest in peace.

May every living thing be safe, healthy, happy and happy!

The old man ended naturally because his life came to an end, which means that he completed a cycle of life: according to the Buddhist concept, the dead will be reincarnated after death and drive the crane west. As far as family ethics in the world is concerned, the old man who died of natural causes has also fulfilled his lifelong dream of human relations: this completely conforms to the orthodox view of life and death in China's traditional culture.

Son, your room is decorated as usual, but everything I promised you came true too late. Son, when I didn't buy you toys, you would lie on the ground and refuse to leave. Can I be a child this time? Can I trick you into pulling your skirt and please don't go? Son, are you happy in heaven without piles of homework? The world without you is like hell for parents.

This is the sorrow of a group of people, and this is the contradiction between white-haired people and black-haired people. The so-called' time can cure everything' is a big joke for parents who have lost their independence. As time goes by, the pain of losing a child will not disappear at all. At any time, I feel that the child is still around. "You are the only hope for this family. Without it, there is no home. It is a lifelong regret not to take good care of you. We have to comfort ourselves: "Live well if you are alive, only the children have gone abroad"; Try to distract yourself, which will give you confidence and courage to live. Behind every painful word is a broken family. Many people lost their children and never got up again, and the rest of their lives were like clods. A woman's only son died unexpectedly at the age of 27. After her son left, she taught herself to surf the Internet and chatted with herself with her son's QQ every day. An uncle's only son died in an accidental traffic accident. His wife couldn't bear the pain of losing her son and didn't go out of the community gate for almost three years. Parents who have lost their children must bear it. In addition to the pain of losing their children, losing their children often affects the stability of marriage, so that they can't maintain the original marriage relationship and reluctantly break up. The child is gone, and the family is scattered. Although some parents who lost their parents untied their hearts after many years, they fell into the dilemma of providing for the elderly because of their age and health. Some parents who lost their parents even said that when they left, they didn't know if anyone would take care of their own affairs. The accidental death of the only child has become a wound in their hearts that will never heal.

Parents love their children more than children love their parents, which can make the species continue and is also a natural law.

From ancient times to the present, we are advocating respect for the elderly and filial piety. I also heard people say that they are filial to their parents and beat and scold their children. However, the love for parents and children is quite different. It can be explained that they can bear the death of their parents, but they cannot bear the death of their children.

People all have downward pain, but less upward pain. Even advocacy can't change this reality. This is the law of development.

Parents pin their hopes on their children, and they are especially kind to them since childhood, eating the best and wearing the best.

Parents always think of their children and regard them as everything to themselves. They can quit their jobs and be full-time mothers for their children. They can work hard for their children because they are weak and need the care of their parents.

However, children are not like this to their parents. Children have their own world. When they grow up, they have to leave home and travel outside in order to survive and exercise themselves. Generation is better than generation, the best genes will always be passed down, and those dross will be thrown away.

Parents are more devoted to their children, which is why they can't accept the loss of their children.

My neighbors in my hometown, a son and a daughter, died in their thirties. The old lady cried her eyes out, but the old man survived. He was not hurt when his child was lost. It's no use being sad when he loses them. It is better to live well.

And secular things take turns, ancient and modern, back and forth!

No one can resist or escape the laws of nature.

Death is the ultimate destination of all life on earth, including plants, animals and humans.

The death of parents is an inevitable process in life. Although it will hurt and make you sad, everyone knows that it cannot be changed. The only thing we can do is to let our parents feel full of warmth and deep love when they are alive, and leave as few regrets as possible.

The greatest pain in life is giving away black hair for nothing.

Children leave early, which is an incomplete life track. Shamed parents and negative children are helpless and unfortunate to themselves, but cruel to parents and children. This kind of pain is certainly unbearable. Parents originally thought that the elderly felt safe. Even if they don't need their children's material support for the elderly, they need spiritual comfort and dependence. Children walk in front of their parents, which is the greatest spiritual destruction to their parents. No one can bear the pain of losing a child

Losing loved ones is the most painful thing for everyone, and the most painful thing in the world is the death of loved ones. But birth, illness and death are natural laws, and no one can escape.

The death of parents is mostly a natural law. As a child, although I am heartbroken, I am psychologically prepared and can accept it. Because everyone will experience the death of their parents, the pain in their hearts as children will gradually ease with the passage of time, and finally get rid of it. However, the departure of children is mostly an accident. As parents, without any psychological preparation, they cannot accept and face the reality. The scene of a white-haired man sending a black-haired man is the saddest thing in the world. As parents, in the face of the unexpected departure of their children, they will completely collapse in an instant, and the pain of losing their children will continue to devour and torture their parents. When a child leaves unexpectedly, some parents can't stand the blow and stay in a trance all day, Lacrimosa. I have completely lost my confidence in life and hope of living. Some parents will leave this world with their children because they can't understand and face them after their children leave.

"If you are poor, you will change your mind." Children are the pride of parents and all belong to them. Parents have been working hard for their children all their lives. When the child leaves unexpectedly, all parents' hopes are dashed, and life is meaningless, leaving only pain and suffering. As parents, they would rather leave the chance of life to their children and exchange it with their own lives than bear the pain and sadness of losing their children and live like a walking corpse.

When the parents leave, the children's home is gone, the children are gone, and the parents' half-life is gone. That's why losing a child is more sad than losing a parent.

In fact, it is easy to understand, and it is nothing more than unequal love. Although from the blood and normal point of view (abnormal point of view is bad feelings with parents, hurting each other or being hurt by parents), an adult should be as good as parents and children. It is unbearable to lose either side, and the pain and sadness are the same.

So, from my personal point of view, I want to say that under most normal circumstances, that part can accept and face the death of their parents without much sadness, but they can't bear the pain of losing their children. People in pain are slightly selfish and love themselves more than their parents.

Subconsciously, these people usually think that children are their own flesh and blood, a part of their lives, and a continuation of their lives. The pain of losing a child is no less than the collapse of life belief. For the parents who raised themselves, these slightly selfish people usually only think that they just gave their lives and raised their own people, and they will feel at ease if they fulfill their obligations a little. For the death of their parents, these people will naturally comfort themselves and say: this is life. Others who are more selfish may even think that their parents' death has saved them a lot of trouble, and they may even feel glad.

Finally, I want to say that if a person can empathize, be kind and grateful, and not too selfish, he will basically understand a simple truth: how much you love your children, how much your parents love you, and that is the same love, unrequited and selfless dedication.

There is no conflict between love for children and love for parents, even if it is a little laborious. Being kind to parents means being kind to yourself.