Jokes due to misunderstanding of definitions

Netizens, please accept my question! ! !

1. There was a polar bear who had to wear sunglasses to see because the snow was too harsh, but he couldn’t find the sunglasses, so he closed his eyes and crawled around on the ground to look for it, crawling. I crawled and crawled until my hands and feet were dirty before I found the sunglasses. I put on my sunglasses and looked in the mirror, and then I realized: Oh, it turns out I am a panda

3. A polar bear stayed alone on the ice in a daze. When it got bored, it started to pull out its own hair. Playing with one stick, two sticks, three sticks, and finally there was no one left, and then he died of the cold.

4. Once upon a time, there was a bird. He would pass by a cornfield every day, but unfortunately, one day there was a fire in the cornfield, and all the corn turned into popcorn!!! After the bird flew over... I thought it was snowing and was freezing to death.

5. Xiao Ming got a new haircut. When he came to school the next day, his classmates saw his new hairstyle and laughed: Xiao Ming, your hair looks like a kite! Xiao Ming felt aggrieved, so he ran outside and cried. As he cried, he flew up.

6. The spider fell in love with the butterfly, but the butterfly rejected it. The spider asked: Why? why is that! Butterfly said: My mother said that those who hang out online all day long are not good people.

7. On a hot summer day, two bananas were walking on the road. Banana, who was walking in front, suddenly felt very hot. He said, "It's so hot. I need to take off my clothes." As a result, he peeled off the skin. As a result, the banana behind fell down. Then the bananas that took off their clothes turned into dried bananas~

8. One day, three explorers finally found the "Valley of Hope". According to legend, as long as you stand on the edge of the valley and shout what you are thinking, If you want something, then jump into the valley, and you will get what you want in the valley. So the three of them decided to give it a try.

The first one was a pervert, so he shouted "Woman! Woman!" When he jumped down, there were a lot of beauties waiting for him.

The second one One is a bookworm, shouting "Books, books, books, books!" Then he jumps into the valley and gets a pit full of books.

The third is an indecisive person, always unable to think about things. After an hour of deciding on his favorite, he finally made up his mind and felt that banknotes were the most useful, so he walked towards the edge of the valley. He accidentally kicked a stone and cursed "shit!" Unexpectedly, there was a sudden change in the center. Unsteady and fell down the valley.

9. As for Xiao Ming, he has to take the exam tomorrow, but he is watching TV at night

Xiao Ming’s mother asked worriedly: Have you finished reading all the books? There’s an exam tomorrow

Xiao Ming answered readily: Mom, I’ve finished reading.

Xiao Ming’s mother happily praised Xiao Ming: Good boy, you will definitely do well in the exam tomorrow

Xiao Ming cried and said: Mom, I mean, ‘Mom, I see , finished'.

10. The panda loved the deer deeply, but was rejected when he expressed his love. Panda roars ~ Why? Why is all this happening? Xiaolu said timidly: My mother said that those who wear sunglasses are all bad boys

11. One day Xiao Ming was walking on the road! As I was walking, I suddenly felt my feet were sore! Why is this happening? Because Xiao Ming stepped on a lemon!

12. Which Chinese character is the coolest? T-pants (cool)

Jin" said to "coin": My son. If you put on a doctor's hat, you will be worth a hundred times. .

"Chi" said to "Jin": Sister, the result is out.

"Chen" said to "Ju": The size is the same as yours. . I have three rooms and two living rooms.

13. One day, a university teacher asked a student, if there are ten birds in the tree, how many will be left after shooting one?

The student asked: Is it a silent gun? The sound is 80-100 decibels. Is it illegal in this city? Are you sure that the bird was killed? , the teacher was already impatient: "Just tell me how many birds are left, okay?" Are any of the birds in the trees deaf? No. Are there any that are locked in a cage and hung from a tree? No. Are there other trees nearby? Are there any other birds on the trees? No. If a bird is pregnant, does it count as a baby bird in the belly? Doesn’t count. Does anyone who hunts birds have eyesight? No flowers, just ten. The teacher was already sweating, and the bell rang for the end of get out of class, but the students continued to ask: Are there any birds that are so stupid that they are not afraid of death? All afraid of death.

Will he kill two with one shot? Won't. The student said with confidence: "If your answer is not deceptive, if the bird that was killed hangs on the tree and does not fall, then there will be only one bird left. If it falls, there will be no one left." The teacher immediately foamed at the mouth. Falling to the ground!

14. One day, someone passed by the intersection and discovered something super scary. He found that Kakashi and Sun Wukong were laughing!

15. For a long time! One night, there were three shrimps in the pond. Hahaha, a female ghost farted and died.

16. A female alien who was engaged in biological research came to the earth and walked around in a circle. Finally, she felt that human genes had a lot to learn from, so she captured a man and wanted to bring him back with the text information about human genes. However, the spacecraft was too small to take him away, and the information was too large. It can't be taken all at once. When she was anxious, the computer help system of the spacecraft said: "This man has a small stick on his body that can solve all your problems..." Then she suddenly realized it and said to the man with a smile. : ". . . . . Give me the USB flash drive! " .

17. There was a man who was crossing the road and was accidentally crushed by a truck. When he was dying, he looked at his body and said: "It turns out that I am a bean paste stuffer. , not stuffed with meat."

18. Brother, stop touching it! If you touch the top and bottom, the hair will fall off. Such a tender skin will ooze when you touch it. How do you want me to sell them in the future? These peaches are all fresh, just forget it if you don’t want to buy them!

19. Once upon a time, there was a little sheep who went out to play and met a big bad wolf. The big bad wolf said: I'm going to eat you! ! Guess what happened?

There was a swordsman in the past. , He was very cold, his heart was very cold, his sword was very cold, and he was so cold in the end

21. Once upon a time, a tiger was chasing a deer on the road! The deer was frightened and ran faster and faster, and finally it became cold. It became a highway

22. There was a tomato that was hit by a stone and smashed. Another tomato smashed again. There was another tomato that smashed. Countless tomatoes The last tomato fell apart!

23. The soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine during combat? The company commander was very angry: Damn, what can I do? What should I do?

24. One day, the three little pigs built three huts to avoid being chased by the big bad wolf. Wooden house, brick house, the three little pigs ran desperately, but they were still caught up by the big bad wolf. The three little pigs said desperately, you can do whatever you want.

At this time, the big bad wolf smiled evilly and said with saliva: Then tell me where is Little Red Riding Hood?

25. The elephant defecated in the middle of the road. An ant happened to be passing by. It looked up at the mist-shrouded peak and couldn't help singing: Yalasuo, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau! ~~~~

I have been fighting for a long time, please adopt it!

1 say to have a polar bear, because the snow is too dazzling, must wear sunglasses to see things, but he could not find his glasses, then closed his eyes to climb on the ground, climb up, the hands and feet up the dirty to find sunglasses. Wear a pair of sunglasses, a mirror to shine, it found that: Oh, I'm a panda

3 a polar bear to stay alone in a daze ice, really boring started pulling their hair, one, two, three, the last one left, and then he cold dead.

4 once upon a time there lived a bird, he every day through a corn field , but unfortunately, a fire one day the cornfield, all corn into popcorn!!! The bird flew past later... That the snow, cold dead.

5 Xiao Ming Li of the new hair, the second day came to the school, the students saw his new hairstyle, smiles: Xiao Ming, your head like a kite oh! Xiao Ming felt wronged, they ran out crying, crying tears, he would fly up.

6 spider fell in love with the butterfly, butterfly refused it, spider ask: why? This is why! Butterfly said: my mom said, mixing all day on the Internet are not good

The 7 summer day, two bananas walk on the road. Walk in front of the banana suddenly feel very hot, he said, good hot Oh, I want to take your clothes off. He put the skin to peel away. Results fell behind the banana . Then undressed banana becomes dried banana

8 one day, three explorer

finally find the "valley of hope", according to legend, just stand in the valley edge shouting what you want, then jump into Valley in large numbers, get what you want. So the three of them decided to try to have a look.

The first is a goat, so he shouted, "a woman! The woman! "There was a jump down in large numbers beauty waiting for him

The second is a nerd, shouted "book book book book book! "Then, jumping into the valley has been in large numbers of books

The third is a person always irresolute and hesitant, think of this way and that is not for them to decide the most love, an hour later, he finally determined, feel or money is the most useful, so he went to the valley edge. Accidentally kicked a stone, he scolded "shit! "But an unstable center of gravity down the valley.

9 Xiaoming, will have an exam tomorrow nest, but the night was to watch TV

Xiao Ming mother asked: books are finished? Have an exam tomorrow

Xiaoming readily replied: Mom, I finished.

Xiao Ming mother very happy praised Xiaoming: good, that tomorrow you will do a good job

Xiao Ming cried and said: Mom, I said, 'Mom, I see,.'.

The 10 panda love deer, expression love but was rejected. The panda roar ~ why? All this is why? The fawn timidly say: my mother said , wearing sunglasses is bad boy

11 one day Xiaoming go on the road! Walked suddenly feel the foot is very acid! Why? Because he stepped on a lemon!

Among the 12 Chinese characters which

word is the coolest? G-string (cool)

Towel "to" money "says: my son. You wear a doctor cap, also have a sudden rise in social status.

"Rule" to "do" said: the elder sister, the results come out. You are carrying twins.

"I" to "giant" said: and you have the same area. I have 3 rooms two hall.

13 one day, a university teacher asked a student, there are ten birds in the tree, shot and killed one, how many are left?

The students asked : is the silent pistol? No gunshots have how old? 80-100 db. Hits the bird in this city to violate the law? Don't make. Are you sure that bird was killed? Determine. At this time, the teacher was already impatient: ", you told me a few birds left to go, OK? There is no deaf birds on the tree? No. There is no was shut in a cage hanging in the trees? No. There is no other tree, the tree has no other bird? No. If the birds were pregnant, calculate do not calculate in the belly of a bird? Don't count. Human bird have flowers? No flower, have ten only. The teacher was already sweating, and finishes class the bell sound, but the students continue to ask: is there any silly not afraid dead birds? All fear death. Will not shoot two? Can't. Students with full confidence, said: if you answer no lie "killed if the bird hanging did not fall in the tree, then remains one, if you fall, does not remain. The teacher was foaming at the mouth and fell to the ground!

The 14 day, people pass the crossroads, found a super bloodcurdlin

g thing, he found that Kakashi and Sun Wukong even in laughter!

15 a long time ago, one night, there were only three shrimp pond, ha ha ha, a ghost put a fart die.

16 a biological study of female aliens came to earth, a circle, think the human gene has many lessons, she caught a man, want to put him back in and about human gene text data. But its small size, don't take him away, data too large, not a band. The anxiety, the ship's computer help system way: "this person has a small stick can solve all of your problems..." Then she could see light suddenly, smile and keep slobber said to the man: "..... The U disk to me!".

17 there is a depression, crossing the road, was accidentally truck tire, be at one's last gasp when he looked at his body, he said: "I was sweetened bean paste stuffing, not the meat stuffing"

The 18 eldest brother, you don't touch! You touch touch the hair above, let you feel lost, so tender skin, be felt by you running water! You let me how to sell? This peach is fresh, you do not buy it!

19 once upon a time there was little sheep , one day he went out to play, the results hit the big bad wolf. The wolf said: I want to eat you!!! The big surprise! Guess what, result how? Results the wolf ate the lamb.

20 once upon a time there was a swordsman, he is very cold, cold heart, sword is cold, the cold dead

21 once upon a time there was a tiger chasing a deer in the street ! The deer was surprised and ran faster and faster,

finally becomes a freeway

22 there is a tomato, was stone mix of Bata broken, and a tomato kipper and broken, and a tomato TA TA TA TA TA countless tomatoes smashed. Finally a tomato fell Ah Da! Tomato sauce!

23 the commander of the soldiers asked: Combat stepped on landmines? Even grew up as the angry: depend, can do? Trampled the compensation.

The 24 day, the three little pigs to avoid the wolf's pursuit, and built three cabin. The wolf not laborious blow ruined grass, wood, brick house, the three little pigs are desperately run, but was caught up with the wolf. say, you do it. We give up, whatever you do. At this time, the wolf crafty smile, keep slobber said: please tell me where is the Little Red Riding Hood?

25 elephants in the stool Pai Road Central, one of ants is pass by, the peak, it looked to the cloud can not help but sing: ah cable, this is the Qinghai Tibet plateau! ~ ~ ~ ~