Very personal little joke

A very unique little joke

1. A nervous man with sweating profusely rushed into the taxi, tossed a handful of money and said: "Break the red light and go to the airport." ?

The driver whistled: Okay, did you just kill someone?

The nervous man said anxiously: He is about to kill someone. If Are you wordy again!?

2. A second-generation official. His father is a big shot in the military, and his elder brother works in a Western enterprise.

He quarreled with people in the bathing city and killed the security guard and the boss's son.

He also beat the boss severely and was sentenced to death under pressure. He reappeared not long after.

He is Nezha!

3. Once upon a time, there was a young master who spent his days eating, drinking, having fun, and doing nothing, and spent all the inheritance left by his father. ,

As the New Year approaches, we don’t even have firewood or rice. On New Year's Eve, the impoverished young man wrote a self-deprecating couplet and posted it on the door: "Be frugal and live a quiet year." ?

After reading it, an old scholar in Murakami sighed with emotion and added a word to each couplet's first couplet.

It became: "Be frugal early to avoid indifference." Year. ?

4. When I went to the hospital for a physical examination, the doctor took my report and said: "Luckily you came early." ?

When I broke out in a cold sweat, the doctor said calmly: "If it's a little later, I'll get off work." ?

5. A young man threw the can on the side of the road.

A policeman came over and said: "It's so uncivilized. If all Everyone is like you

As soon as he finished speaking, the old man who picked up rags replied: "Then I will get rich." ?

6. The mountain people heard that seafood was delicious and bought back a crab.

Add water to the pot, throw the crabs into the pot, and cook crab soup.

The whole family had a big bowl. After drinking it, everyone said the soup was really delicious.

After drinking, I went to clean the pot, only to find crabs crawling on the pot platform.

7. Liu Bei had no place to live, so he borrowed Jingzhou from Sun Quan and did not want to return it.

Sun Quan sent Lu Su to ask for him, but Liu Bei came and cried, made trouble, and hanged himself.

Lu Su had to go to Kong Ming: Liu Bei was also an uncle of the emperor after all, so why did he become a nail? Household.

8. A naval officer returned to the army after his Spring Festival vacation. On the bus, stand next to the driver.

A drunk man got on the bus, walked up to the officer, pulled his sleeve, and said he wanted to buy a ticket.

The officer ignored him. The drunkard persisted, so the officer turned around and said: Friend, I am not a conductor, I am a naval officer.

The drunkard replied: Then, you stop the boat, I want to take the bus.

9. The police were patrolling and saw a man suddenly shouting: Stop! How many bytes does the int type occupy?

Male: 4. Policeman: You can leave.

I was still walking on the street on New Year’s Eve, looking miserable and shabby. I was either a thief or a programmer.

10. There was a miser who caught a cold and was unwilling to buy medicine for fear of spending money, let alone go to the hospital.

So I went to my neighbor’s house to borrow some medicine, and after taking one dose, my neighbor said I didn’t need to pay it back.

So I said: Get another one!;