Three children are open, and there are many children at home. How can children live in harmony and love each other?

My family has a second child. My grandmother helped my brother rummage through the cupboard where my sister put her valuables. My sister collapsed and cried.

Now, the country has opened up three children, and it has become a common phenomenon for families to have two or three children.

When many people are considering having a second or third child, there may be a saying that they want to give their children more companionship and leave a close relative for TA after a hundred years.

The fate of generations can only be the closest brothers and sisters in this life.

With the same blood, the closest brothers and sisters will have deep feelings for each other and love each other? The truth is, not everyone is like this.

Some brothers and sisters, from the first sight, have become a family that loves each other; Some brothers and sisters are filled with hatred when they first see the two treasures or three treasures on Dabao. This kind of situation, some are lucky enough to understand in adulthood, and realize that they are the closest people in the world except their parents, and the feelings between children will gradually deepen; Some brothers and sisters have had numerous quarrels and disputes in their lives and become the most familiar strangers. In real life, brothers and sisters exist in every situation.

When parents are considering having multiple children, they should consider not only leaving a partner for their children, but leaving an emotional partner for each other. Whether the affection between those children is good or not can only depend on luck and fate. Actually, it is not, but there are ways to cultivate and operate it.

How to cultivate and manage the feelings between many children?

First of all, discuss with Dabao before going to Bauer and get the consent of TA.

Some people may find it ridiculous. What do you discuss with Dabao when you have a baby? If you want to rely on luck and fate to decide whether the feelings between children are good or not, this is of course unnecessary. It is necessary if you want to cultivate and manage the affection between children. Let the children be psychologically prepared first, this family will not be a baby in the future, and there will be a younger brother or sister. With the consent of TA, TA will also feel respected. TA has not been abandoned, and its opinion is also very important.

Second, while discussing with Dabao, we should carry out psychological construction on TA.

This is also very important. When we discuss with Dabao, we should not only get Dabao's consent, but also explain to him why we want to have another baby. Of course, every family may have different ideas. Just tell your child the real reason why TA is acceptable. In addition, the most important thing is to tell Dabao that even if we have another child, TA will always be the baby of our parents, and will love TA as always and will not abandon TA.

Some children were teased by others after their mother was pregnant with Bao Xiao, saying that your mother now has a younger brother and sister and will give you away if she doesn't love you in the future. This is also the initial reason why many Dabao began to feel bad after their mother became pregnant and were not good for their younger brothers and sisters. Therefore, when we are ready to have two treasures, we must tell people around us not to play such jokes on our children. This joke is true for children. If someone has said such a thing to a child, you must make it clear to the child that it is not true. Mom and dad will always love him and stay with TA. It is really important to do such psychological construction well.

Third, let Dabao participate in all the gestation processes of Bauer.

When we are ready to ask Bauer's advice and Dabao agrees, Dabao should be involved in all the gestation processes of Bauer.

Now that we know that Bauer is already in his mother's belly, we should also tell Dabao at the first time that his mother already has a younger brother or sister in her belly, so that Dabao can participate in prenatal education, tell stories, listen to music and so on. When you can hear Bauer's heartbeat and feel Bauer's fetal movement, you can let Dabao touch and feel Bauer and establish the initial contact for TAs. Participating in Bauer's growth process, Dabao will also feel that this is a baby trained by TA. TA should TAke care of ta, and Dabao will also have a sense of accomplishment in participating.

When preparing Bauer's article, we can also involve Dabao, such as what kind of clothes to choose for Bauer, what style of stroller to choose, what color bathtub to choose, and what name to prepare for Bauer. All these processes involve Dabao, and TA will feel that this baby has something to do with TA, and it will also cultivate TA's sense of responsibility. After Bauer is born, TA will think more about how to take care of Bauer than compete with TA.

Fourth, pay attention to protecting the border of Dabao.

There are boundaries between people. We need to recognize and respect each other's independence. I am responsible for my own life, and you are responsible for your own life. Never cross the border easily. We need to realize that children also have boundaries, mainly the boundaries between things and emotions. We can't cross the border of TA, so we need to protect the border of TA.

For example, Dabao has been dedicated since childhood, especially the toys and things that TA is particularly concerned about are all TA's. If we want to use it for Bauer, we also need Dabao's permission. We have nothing to say to Dabao. As long as Bauer likes, wants to play and wants, we will let Dabao give it to Bauer unconditionally. Like the author's other article (having a second child at home, my grandmother helped my brother rummage through my sister's locker where valuables were kept, and my sister collapsed and cried), but I didn't notice the boundary of Dabao, but my parents' improper handling ruined the feelings of the two children. In the long run, the two children can't live in harmony.

Also, whether Dabao loves Bauer or not, we need to cultivate TA's independent love for his brother and sister, instead of imposing it, and tell him that it is your brother (sister) and that you should love TA. That's useless. Doing so will only make Dabao hate Bauer more.

Fifth, parents treat Dabao and Bauer fairly.

No matter how much Dabao loves Bauer, TAs are still children after all, and it is normal for them to have minor disputes and contradictions.

It is said that the palms of the hands are all meat, but it is impossible for parents to be absolutely fair to Dabao and Bauer, which is also the most difficult. But even if it can't be absolutely fair, it must be relatively fair. How does this work?

1 When Dabao and Bauer have conflicts, they should judge right and wrong, with clear rewards and punishments.

When there is a contradiction, ask the reason first. Who is wrong and who is wrong. The penalty should be supported. The most taboo is to say Dabao whenever there is a contradiction between two children, whether you ask or not. You are your brother (or sister), you must let your brother (or sister) leave. It's ridiculous like Erbao trying to tear up Dabao's homework and letting Dabao go without asking clearly. That Dabao is not wronged and crying.

2. Give Dabao and Bauer food and clothing, and try to be relatively fair.

Because of the age difference between Dabao and Bauer, there must be a difference in food and clothing. Except for one item, there is no guarantee of unification, and all other items are guaranteed as much as possible. In the case of disunity, we should try our best to make up for one. For example, Bauer added a twist car today, and Dabao can buy a roller skates another day. Today I took Bauer to play with the inflatable castle, and next time I will take Dabao to play with bumper cars. We must let our children feel that our love for ta is the same and relatively fair, and we will not let any child feel which one we like better and which one we don't like.

Without discontent, there will be no resentment, no injustice, and love will be born.

3. When there is a small contradiction between Dabao and Bauer, let the teaching assistant solve it by himself and stay out of it.

As we all know, it is impossible for us to be absolutely fair to our children. In the face of small contradictions between TAs, try to interfere as little as possible and let TAs solve them themselves. There is no need for parents to judge right and wrong by solving minor contradictions. It is odd for either side to make concessions. If we solve it ourselves, one party may give in, which is also a way for ta to cultivate feelings.

Whether the relationship between Dabao and Bauer is good or not, in fact, Dabao accounts for a large part of the protagonist. Since Bauer came to this family, TA has subjectively determined that there are parents, grandparents and a brother or sister in this family. This is the original appearance of this family. And my brother or sister is still a child, and she is a little older than herself, so Bauer naturally wants to be close to his brother or sister.

It is Dabao instead, because Dabao is the first child in the family. As soon as he came, he was loved by his family for thousands of years. Suddenly, he had to have a younger brother or sister at home. TA is worried, scared, unwilling, or very resistant. He is afraid that his younger brother or sister will take away TA's things and his parents' love. Therefore, by cultivating and managing the relationship between the two children, we can handle Dabao's emotional concern, achieve the above points, and add the original blood relationship, the children's feelings will naturally get better and better.

Similarly, when you want three children, treat Dabao and Bauer in the same way, and then Erbao will take care of Sambo with you. What a wonderful thing this will be.

Thank you for your patience in reading. I am a nanny with two babies. I have some views on parenting and family feelings, and I would like to share them with you. I will continue to update some of my original content in the future. Like friends can pay attention to it, thank you! )

The picture is from the internet, deleted!