A wide record of avoiding classical Chinese and laughing at the forest

1. Classical Chinese translation of Xiao Lin Guang Ji

(original) An official issued a Zhu ticket, took two ingots of red gold, delivered by the shop owner, and received the price in the hall. The official asked, "Value geometry?" The shop owner said, "The fair price should be a certain amount. Now it's for the master to take it, and he can only get half price." Guan Gu said, "Wait, give him an ingot back." After the payment, the shop owner is still waiting for the price. The official said, "The price has been paid." The shop owner said, "I haven't sent it." The official said angrily, "Diao slave, you said you only got half the price, so I will give you an ingot back, which is half the price. The county has never lost you. How can you pester me? Get out! "

An official took two pieces of silver from Zhu Piao, which was delivered by the shop owner, and the hall received the price. The official asked, "How much is it?" The shop owner said, "The parity includes a number, but now it is adopted by the master, and only half the price will do." * * * (official) said to the people around him, "In this way, return an ingot of gold to him." After the payment, the people in the gold shop are still waiting for the price. The official said, "The money has already been given." The shop owner said, "It didn't open." The official said angrily, "Diao slave, you said you only charged half price, so I returned one ingot of gold to you. At that half price, the county didn't lose you. Why bother?" Get out! "

"Baidu Classical Chinese Translation" 2. Laughing Lin Guang Ji Classical Chinese

There is a saying in Laughing Lin that there are people in the Han Dynasty, old and childless, rich in family, and frugal in nature.

bad clothes and vegetables; Get up in the morning and rest at night; Running the industry is insatiable, but not for personal use. Or people beg beggars from it, but they have to go in and withdraw money.

If you come out of the hall, you will be reduced with the steps. Compared with the outside, you will only be in the middle, and you will close your eyes to be begged. Xunfu told the cloud: "I have spent all my family to support your husband, so be careful not to let him say that I have come after the reunification!" When the old man died in Russia, Tian Zhai had no official, and the goods and wealth were filled in the internal tǎng (t m: ng).

"Smile" says: When a guest arrives, the host has vegetables, and the guest is unhappy. Master Xie said, "The family is poor and the city is far away, so you can't get meat."

The guest said, "Please kill my mule and eat it." The master said, "Why did you return?" The guest pointed to the chicken on the doorstep and said, "I borrowed your chicken to ride home."

There have been miserly people in the world since ancient times. However, Yan Jiansheng in The Scholars is particularly famous, and his theory of "two lights and grass" makes people laugh and be generous. 3. Who can give two classical Chinese jokes

drilling and stabbing

Rats and wasps worship as brothers, and invite a scholar to be an alliance card, but the scholar has no choice but to go and be listed as the third person. A friend asked, "Why do you live under a rat?" He replied, "The two of them will drill for a while and stab for a while, so I have to let him."

knowing qi

a blind man is blind and good at smelling incense and knowing qi. A scholar took a copy of the West Chamber and told him, "The West Chamber." Q: "How do you know?" Answer: "A little pink." He took the History of the Three Kingdoms and told him, "The History of the Three Kingdoms." Ask again: "How do you know?" Answer: "Some swords and soldiers are angry." The scholar thought it was strange, but he heard his own words. The blind man said, "This is your masterpiece." Q: "How do you know?" Answer: "some fart gas."

Poems about the Bell

There are four people who are conceited about poetry. One day, while traveling in the temple, I saw a bell hanging in the corner of the temple, and everyone was so excited about poetry that they joined a sentence. One said, "There is a bell in the temple." The second rhyme says, "The essence is copper." Three said, "It turns like a bowl." Four said, "Knock and buzz." After singing, they praised each other without saying anything, thinking that poetry is agile and unparalleled. "But the nature of heaven and earth has been exhausted, and it is decided that our life will be counted." The four men were suspicious and gathered in tears. Suddenly, an old man came from outside and asked what it was, and everyone told him so. The old man said, "There is no harm in the number of years of life, but each will be sick for forty-nine days." When people asked what was wrong, they replied, "My arm hurts!"

Ode to Fart

A scholar died to see Pluto, claiming to be well-read, and Bo Gu gave orders. When the king accidentally withdrew his fart, the scholar immediately entered the word cloud: "Fu Wei is the king, towering golden buttocks, and Hong Xuanbao's fart is vaguely like the sound of silk and bamboo, as if it were the breath of musk orchid. I set the wind, which is very fragrant. " Wang Xi, who was given a banquet, promised to celebrate his birthday for the first time, and came to report for duty at the appointed time, without being seduced by ghosts. Twelve years later, the scholar replied to the Yin Division and said to the door, "I'm tired of telling your majesty that the scholar who wrote fart articles ten years ago has come again."

Three beheadings

The imperial court opened a new case, where two people banished everything and three people beheaded it. Eggplant consciously has a double name and hides in the water. The water asked, "Why did you come?" The former said, "Avoid the court's new precedent. Because I have two, one is eggplant and the other is Luosu. " Shui said, "If that's the case, I should chop it up: one water, two soups, and the man-made man put a few grains of rice to sell me as wine." 4. Gao Yi Xiao Lin Guang Ji urgently asked for translation of classical Chinese < P > A man wanted to ask a gentleman to educate his children.

One day, a person came to apply for a job, and the host said, "Our family is poor, and there may be many places that are rude to our husband. What do you think?" The gentleman said, "Don't be so polite, I don't care at all." The host said, "Can you eat vegetables?" A: "Yes."

The host said, "There's no heavy work at home. Is it okay for Mr. Lao to clean the yard and open and close the door?" A: "OK." The host said, "Sometimes family members, women and children want to buy odds and ends, so Mr. Injustice can go there." A: "Yes."

The host said, "If so, that would be great!" Later, Mr. Wang also said: "I also have a sentence, I hope the host will not be surprised." What did the master ask him? Mr. Wang said, "I am ashamed that I didn't study hard when I was a child!" " The host said, "Why say such modest words?"

Mr. Wang said, "I dare not deceive you. I actually don't know a word!" " Xiao Gong and Wu Liang extorted money, and Shu people called it hammering. A gentleman is good at hammering nails. When he saw a new student urinating next to a pan pool, he stepped forward and grabbed him and scared him, saying, "You are in school, and it is rude to relieve yourself in the pan pool without authorization."

Ordered the gatekeeper to be humane: "Take him to Minglun Hall for interrogation. This is the biggest disrespect and should be guarded." The student begged him to say, "Students are willing to admit punishment if they make a mistake."

Mr. Wang said, "Fortunately, it's a small hand. If it's a big hand, you will be fined 12 taels of silver. Solve the small hand and punish it with five or two. "

The student said, "I have only one piece of silver with me, which weighs twelve taels. I would like to give it to you in half." The gentleman said, "Why should we separate? Just give it all to me."

The student said, "The teacher said clearly, why do you need twelve taels when you know five taels?" The gentleman said, "Never mind, even though you gave it all to me, you will be allowed to relieve your hand by the Pan Pool once in the future and give you five taels of silver. Don't tell anyone, I'm afraid it will ruin my study rules. "

No concubinage. I have a very powerful wife and have read many books. Her husband planned to marry a concubine and said, "There was such a thing before. People in the State of Qi had a wife and a concubine."

The wife said, "If I were like you, I would like to find another husband." Her husband asked, "Has this ever happened before?" The wife replied, "A woman named Cheng in Henan has two husbands."

The husband laughed and couldn't think of any way to make it difficult for her. In addition, there is a wife who is fierce and cunning.

Every time her husband talks about marrying a concubine, she replies, "Your family is poor, how can you afford to buy a concubine? If you have money, I will listen to you and do what you want. " The husband borrowed money from others and said to his wife, "Here is the money, please marry me a concubine!" " His wife put the money in her sleeve, then bowed down and said, "I'd rather be a concubine now, and the money can buy me."

there is nothing her husband can do to make things difficult for her. Accustomed to bumping into seats, a countryman made a patrol and was in charge of guarding the gate of the courtyard. When the prefect came, he knelt down and reported, "The old man entered."

The satrap was very angry and ordered him to be hit ten times. The next day, the satrap came again, and he reported: "Taigong Zujin."

the satrap hit him again. On the third day, the satrap came again.

considering that the rural dialect and written language are not good, the country people reported that they came the day before yesterday, came yesterday and came again today. A man went to the barber's to get a haircut. The barber shaved his head very roughly. When he finished cutting, the man deliberately paid double the money and left.

A few days later, he went to the barber's to get a haircut. The barber tried his best to cut his hair, and he worked twice as hard and served everything very well. When I finished cutting, I paid less.

The barber said unconvinced, "Last time I had a rough haircut, I got your reward. This time I gave you a very careful haircut. Why did you pay less?" Today's wages were paid last time. The money given today is the last salary! " The dog father has a man named Lu who is very good at telling jokes.

There is a woman next door who is unsmiling. His friend told him, "If you can say one word to make that woman laugh and another word to make that woman scold, I will treat you to a meal." One day, the woman was standing in front of the door, and there was a dog lying in front of the door. Lu Mou knelt down to the dog and said, "Grandpa!" " The woman couldn't help laughing when she saw it, and someone in Lu looked up and called to the woman, "Mom!" Hearing this, the woman was very angry and swore.

You should prepare wine first. My wife likes to drink, but her husband doesn't give her wine several times. Moreover, she scolded her and said, "Open the door for seven things: firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea. When have you ever seen the word wine?" The wife said, "wine is used without opening the door. It must be bought the night before. How can it be put in the matter of opening the door?" Encounter a bosom friend. A gentleman usually likes to play the piano. He once said that without his bosom friend, he is always unhappy. After a day of idleness, he played the piano for recreation.

I suddenly heard a sigh in the next door. I thought I had met a bosom friend, so I knocked on the door and asked what was going on. The old woman next door said, "Nothing. My dead son played cotton for a living before his death. Today, the sound of your playing the piano is particularly like his playing cotton. After listening to it, I don't feel sad."

The wife of Fang Xuanling, the jealous wife of Emperor, is jealous and fierce. Xuanling is too afraid of her to marry a concubine. Emperor Taizong ordered the queen to summon Mrs. Fang and told her that concubinage is very popular now, and there are regulations that the emperor will be rewarded with beautiful women.

Mrs. Fang resolutely refused, and the emperor ordered that poisoned wine be sent to her to intimidate her, saying, "Like this, it's an objection. You should drink this glass of wine." Mrs. Fang gulped it down without any embarrassment.

The emperor said, "I was scared when I saw it, let alone Xuanling?" Fairy Yong Dong is very filial, and God asked a fairy to marry him. When the fairies saw the fairy off, they all told her, "If there are still people who are filial, do send a message back."

Two candidates, A and B, were recommended in the same year's examination. A was elected to the Imperial Academy and B was appointed as the county magistrate. One day, A proudly said to B, "I have a high rank and rank, and I live in the imperial court. Compared with my brother as a local official, my worth is very different."

regardless of other things, only the famous posts used by customers show that my status is extremely decent, which is a far cry from you. " B said, "Your name card can use several words, so how can it catch up with the words in my notice? Isn't it better than yours?". 5. Explanation of the words "Summer Resort" in Xiao Lin Guang Ji

There was an official who worked in a summer (somewhere) and wanted to find a cool place for summer vacation. Officials' colleagues talked about it one after another. Some said that a mountain was quiet and elegant, while others said that a temple was cool and leisurely. An old man suggested (to an official): "Although the mountains and temples are good, they are always not as cool as this court." The official said, "How can I see it?" The old man replied, "Most other places are sunny, but here there is no day."

A person with glaucoma (that is, blindness) was involved in a lawsuit, arguing that he was blind. The official said, "You have a pair of innocent eyes. Why do you pretend to be blind?" The man replied, "The master thinks the villain is innocent, but the villain thinks the master is very confused." 6. Translation of Chinese wine in classical Chinese in Xiao Lin Guang Ji

Chinese wine

The original text

One teacher set up a teacher and asked, "How to speak the way of university?" The teacher pretended to be drunk and said, "You choose to ask me when you are drunk." Leave it to your wife. The wife said, "The University is the title of the book, and' The Way of Learning' is the truth in the book." Learn from others. Tomorrow, he said to his disciples, "Your generation was ignorant. Yesterday, you came to ask me when you were drunk. Today, I woke up and didn't come to ask. Why? What did you ask yesterday? " Yes, the way of "University". A teacher speaks like a wife. Disciple asked again, "How do you say' in Mingmingde'?" Teacher Qi (1) held his forehead and said, "Stay, I'm still drinking here."

note

① abrupt (jù): in a hurry.

translation

A gentleman was teaching, and his disciples asked him how to talk about "The Way of University". The gentleman pretended to be drunk and said, "You only ask me when I am drunk." When Mr. Wang came home, he told his wife what his disciples had asked for advice during the day. His wife said, "The University is the title of the book, and the way of learning is the truth in the book." Mr. Wang nodded yes. The next day, Mr. Wang said to his disciples, "You are ignorant. You came to ask me yesterday when I was drunk. Today, I woke up drunk and didn't ask. Why? What question did you ask yesterday? " The disciple replied that it was "the way of the University". According to his wife's words, Mr. Wang explained what "the way of the University" is. Disciple asked again, "What do you mean by' being in Ming Ming De'?" Mr. Wang quickly grabbed his head and said, "Stop for a while, I'm drunk again now." 7. <

Mosquito repellent

A Taoist priest boasted that his magic was strong and he had a good mosquito repellent charm. Or please stick it in the room.

The more mosquitoes there are at night. To blame the Taoist priest, the Taoist priest said, "I'll try to observe it." Seeing the sticker

, he said, "It used to be inferior to Farr." Q: "How to use it?" He said, "To catch

mosquitoes every night, you must stick them in the tent."

Translation:

A Taoist priest said that he was skilled in magic and wrote a good mosquito repellent symbol (that is, a symbol paper with the same function as mosquito repellent incense). Someone asked the Taoist priest to stick mosquito repellent symbols in the house, and as a result, there were more and more mosquitoes at night, so this person went to ask the Taoist priest. The Taoist priest said, "Let me go to your place and have a look." After seeing the symbol posted by that person, he said, "It turns out that you made a mistake in the usage of the symbol." The man asked, "How do you use it?" The Taoist priest said, "You drive the mosquitoes out first every night, and then stick them in the mosquito net."