A humorous joke

1, success is 1% inspiration and 99% staying away from mobile phones.

2. All social software starts with guns to show off bad purchases.

You said you were my friend, so where were you when I took a selfie and didn't like it?

4. I am willing to be left out, be cold-eyed, be cold-eyed, be cold-eyed, be indifferent to the world, and even be left in the cold. Don't ask me why I am so sad, because I am too hot!

5. "You will buy it back. Eat delicious food tomorrow or the day after tomorrow? "

"No, basically no overnight stay."

"That also rang rang what procrastination! You are actually lazy! "

6, 1. Sweating in palms and soles-blood deficiency;

2. Sweating on the forehead-hyperactivity of liver yang;

3. Sweating on the nose-insufficient lung qi;

4. Neck sweating-endocrine disorder;

5. Sweating in the chest-spleen and stomach disharmony;

6. I'm sweating all over-don't worry, it's because it's fucking hot!

7. I dragged my tired body home, jumped out of my house in summer and smiled happily: you came back ~

The man loosened the collar of his shirt and hung his head in disgust. What are you doing here again? I told you, I hate you very much. .

Summer stood in the same place, rubbing hands awkwardly: you still said you liked me.

Man frowns: Don't flatter yourself. When did this happen?

Summer smiled: hmm. . . Before, when you called me for the summer vacation,

8. I went to the park again at night. Our circle is full of old people. They all have this hobby.

I also want to make some friends here. I don't know when he took a fancy to me.

I just feel that someone has been watching me. For a long time, he asked me softly, "Big Brother, do you want to have sex?"

I turned my head and saw that his eyes were bright and there was a knife-shaped eyebrow at his temple. What a handsome young man!

I can't help but say to him, "Watching chess is not a real gentleman, understand? ! "

9. There are flower beds in the park. There is a sign on the flower bed. The sign reads: "Whoever steps on the flower bed will be punished by 3 yuan!"

It is said that the grandfather who looks at the flower bed throws a one-dollar coin into the flower bed every day.

Then someone will be fined 3 yuan every day. . .

10, called KFC to order takeout last night. From 12 to 1, the phone kept saying "The line is busy ..."

My friend was really hungry, so he picked up the phone, pressed the English service, waited, and got through! My friend's first sentence was, "Can you speak Chinese?"

The other party paused and replied: "Yes!"

Then this guy imitated the accent of a foreigner and asked in Chinese, "Can you swim in that dormitory?" Answer: "Yes!" So the order was successful!

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