Microsoft Lenovo

1。 One day, my cousin and her cousin were chatting together, chatting and chatting, and they talked about the computer.

Cousin: Cousin, I bought a computer last year.

Cousin: Why haven't you used it?

Cousin: I was infected with the virus just after I bought it back.

Cousin: Haven't you fixed it?

Cousin proudly said: if you don't turn it on for a year, the virus won't starve to death!

2。 Our manager is very busy, so he always speaks briefly and forcefully. One day, a colleague's computer was infected with a virus, so he reported to the manager, "My computer is poisoned. What should I do? " The manager said, "Then you committed suicide!" Colleague: "..." (sweating) was later interpreted as: killing the virus yourself.

3。 A disciple who just learned to surf the Internet asked Confucius, "Teacher, I received an email, an email."

"Oh, really?" Confucius said, "It's a pleasure to have friends from afar."

Disciple still has no clue: "But, but what should I do?"

Confucius kindly held his disciple's shoulder: "It is disrespectful to come and not go."

Disciple Mu Na asked, "Does the teacher mean that I should reply to him?"

Confucius nodded: "Xian zai, Hui Ye."

Disciple is still worried: "There is a link in that person's email. May I click? "

Confucius thought for a moment and said, "Point also."

A few days later, the disciple asked again, "That man always sends me the same email, which is really annoying."

Confucius frowned and said, "I can bear it, but I can't."

4。 One day I was chatting with a strange MM on the Internet, so I asked him what he looked like. He told me his height 163CM and long hair. I asked her if she could be more specific. She said it wasn't specific. How could it be specific? I said that if I take a mop with a length of 163CM and turn it upside down, it will be exactly like you. In an instant, I was blacklisted by her. ...

5。 A fly and a mosquito met online, and the mosquito was very excited: "My screen name hit the nail on the head, and you are …" Fly: "Never mind who I am? I can see spiders crawling over and drooling ... "

6.[ Gender of Computer]

Both Mr. Bill and Miss Gates are computer addicts and often discuss computers together. One day, they argued about the gender of computers.

Miss Gates thinks that computers are male and lists eight reasons:

1. I know a lot of things, but I just don't know the customs.

2. Always need a backup.

When I didn't buy it, it was still shining. When I bought it home, I found it was bleak.

If you want him to work, you must electrocute him.

If you press the right button, tell him to do whatever he wants.

6. I know nothing about subtlety.

7. Often knocked down by sudden voltage changes.

8. The best always comes next.

Mr. Bill thinks that computers are women, and he lists eight reasons:

1. Do simple things with complex programs.

2. I am very picky about everything.

I can hear you, but I may not understand you.

I did the same thing for many years, and one day I suddenly found it wrong.

You are always asked to throw away the rubbish.

6. Ask her what's wrong, and the answer is always "nothing".

7. If one point is missing, she will go on strike.

8. Make mistakes at an alarming rate.

7.[ If cars develop like computers]

A computer engineer from Microsoft met an automobile engineer from Detroit.

The computer engineer laughed at the automobile engineer and said, "The development of your automobile industry is really too slow."

The car engineer retorted, "We are introducing new models every year, and now luxury cars have already used 8-cylinder engines. How can this be called slow? "

The computer engineer smiled and said, "If automobile technology developed as fast as computer technology, do you know what it would be like now?"

"Let's hear it."

So, the computer engineer listed the following results on a piece of paper:

1. Now most cars have 32 cylinders instead of 8 cylinders.

2. The speed should reach 10000 miles per hour.

The standard weight of a car is about 30 pounds.

4. A gallon of gasoline can run 1000 miles.

The price of each car is less than 50 dollars.

Microsoft's computer engineers thought that automotive engineers would be surprised and ashamed. Unexpectedly, the automobile engineer sneered, "But who will buy a car that breaks down more than three times a day?"