Who can provide a few jokes? (Due to the cultural differences between East and West)

Classic jokes about Chinese and foreign collisions

1. One day when I was shopping in the supermarket, I saw a black man and said to my friend next to me, "Look, it's so dark." As a result, he looked at me and said, "You are white!"

When we were in college, some of our classmates went to take elective courses once. Well done, an African brother came in the front row, very dark. One of my classmates blurted out, "It's fucking black", and I didn't want foreigners to look back and just say, "It's fucking yellow!" We collapsed on the spot!

Two women and a foreign man take the elevator together. One woman saw that the foreigner's chest hair was very long, so she said to the other, Look, the foreigner's chest hair is so sexy. Who knows that the foreigner suddenly replied: thank you!

4. My girlfriend and I were playing in the skating rink, and her girlfriend fell down many times, so I said, "Pig, look at that foreign beauty over there, much taller than you, and how well she rowed." As a result, she stepped over and said, "Thank you." Dizzy, I quickly said in English, "Not at all."

Once my father climbed the Great Wall and saw a tall white man sitting on the steps while watching. Father said to the people around him, "Look at that foreigner. It's boring to climb up."

The white man said, "Can't I have a rest?"

6. I once ate casserole in an open-air stall in a residential area, sweating profusely and intoxicated, next to NTU's staff dormitory. As a result, a young woman from China walked past me with a little black girl about five years old, looking back at me while walking, drooling. Finally, she suddenly said in standard Nanjing words, "Mom, I want to eat casserole!" " I hardly spit out a mouthful of fans.

7. Once on the Guangzhou subway, I saw a foreigner whose mother took a daughter. This little girl is so beautiful, just like a doll. Then an uncle next to him asked in standard English: Where are you from?

The little girl replied coldly and impatiently: America.

8. I went to Beijing on a weekend and wanted to find a classmate to keep me company. She was lazy and refused to go with me, so she had to go alone. On the subway, I sat next to a foreign GG, who was quite beautiful. I called my classmate and said to her, "Don't come with me, I will make you regret it for the rest of your life!" Tell you, the foreign GG sitting next to me looks like Brad Pitt, which looks good ~ ~ ~ "

When I put down the phone, I found GG happy at me. My heart thumped and my face burned. That foreign GG really said to me: Miss, your profile is also very beautiful! ..... A couple sitting opposite smiled on the spot, and I couldn't wait to jump!

9. I come from Jinan. Once my father's colleague went to the United States on business and went to the supermarket to buy things and discussed them in Jinan dialect. At this time, an American came over and said in standard Jinan words, "Are you from Jinan?"? ! "My colleagues sweated and chatted for a while. It turns out that this foreigner is an American descendant and stayed in China in the previous war. Colleagues asked him, "How is your English?"

The foreigner patted his thigh and said, "English is so fucking hard to learn!" " ! "

10. Two foreigners go shopping in Carrefour. When checking out, the clerk asked, "Can you speak Chinese? 」

Two foreigners replied in Mandarin: "Speak slowly, we can understand!" ! 」

The clerk said, "OK ... You ... talk ... China people? 」

1 1. An American, a Frenchman and an China are walking in the desert. Walking, I saw a bottle. After opening the cork, a man floated out. The man said, "I am a fairy, and I can grant each of you three wishes!" " The American was the first to say, "My first wish is to ask for a lot of money." The fairy said, "it's very simple, it satisfies you!" Tell me about the second wish. " The American said: I want a lot of money! After the fairy fulfilled her wish, the American said his third wish: "Take me home." The fairy said, "No problem." So Americans came back to America with a lot of money. The fairy asked the Frenchman again. The Frenchman said, "I want beautiful women!" " "The fairy gave him a beautiful woman. The Frenchman said, "I want more beautiful women!" ""The fairy also satisfied him and gave him a beautiful woman. The Frenchman finally said, "Send me back to France." After the fairy sent the Frenchman back to China, she asked the China people what they wanted. China people said, "Let's have a bottle of Erguotou first." The fairy gave it to him. Ask him what his second wish is. China people say: Another bottle of Erguotou! The fairy asked him what his third wish was. China said, "I miss China and Americans very much. Please bring them all back. "France and the United States are very popular, but they are helpless. The three of them have to keep going. Walking, I saw another bottle. When I opened the plug, another man came out. The man said, "I am the younger brother of that fairy just now, and my magic is not as strong as his, so I can only satisfy two wishes of each of you." "The French and Americans think it is better to let China speak first, so as not to be brought back by him later. So China people said, "Let's have a bottle of Erguotou first." The fairy realized his wish. The French and Americans urged China people to express their second wish as soon as possible. After drinking Erguotou, China people slowly said to the immortal, "It's all right, it's all right, you go.

The fairy disappeared. Americans and Japanese looked at each other, speechless.

The three men walked on, and then they found another bottle. When they opened it, another fairy appeared. The fairy said, "I am the younger brother of two immortals you met in front of me." My magic is not as high as theirs. I can only grant each of you one wish. Who said first? " As soon as the voice fell, Americans and Japanese shouted at the same time, "Tell China people to go home! ! "China people went home, and only Americans and Japanese hugged each other and wept.

12. When foreigners attending Chinese weddings praised the bride for her beauty, the bride modestly said "where", and the foreigner paused and said "eyebrows, nose and mouth. . . Beautiful everywhere! "

13. On the Frankfurt subway, there is a tall man sitting opposite. I casually said to my companion, "That guy's legs are really long ..." Unexpectedly, the foreigner asked me, "How tall are you?" Scared me, and then we chatted in Chinese for a while. He said: "You China people are fearless, fearless, and they are afraid that foreign devils will speak Chinese, hahaha …" The last guy actually said "goodbye" in Shanghainese, and I almost fainted at that time. ...

14. What's more, an Indian classmate of mine was once asked, "I heard that you can speak Chinese, right?" The Indian immediately said in Chinese, "What's wrong with you? Can't you see I'm Indian? I can't speak Chinese. " Whip it now!