100 points urgently seeking the hilarious three-person sketch script

The past, the present and the future

Upload date: 2007-5-30 Upload: Anonymous Popularity: 1818

Cui Yongyuan’s speech: (speech omitted)

(band plays music)

Cui Yongyuan: Hello! Uncle. Please sit down, uncle.

Zhao Benshan: You’re welcome!

Song Dandan: You’re welcome!

Cui Yongyuan: Uncle and aunt. (A little nervous)

Cui Yongyuan: A little nervous. Uncle and aunt, this is your first time in a TV studio!

Zhao Benshan: I just came.

Song Dandan: I just arrived.

Cui Yongyuan: When you first come to this studio, you will be a little nervous. You see there are so many cameras and so many audiences. After a while, we can relax while talking. Let's introduce ourselves first.

Zhao Benshan: How to introduce?

Cui Yongyuan: According to your family’s habits.

Song Dandan: Let me talk first.

Cui Yongyuan: OK.

Song Dandan: My name is Bai Mei.

Zhao Benshan: My name is Brother Hei.

Song Dandan: I am seventy years old.

Zhao Benshan: I am over seventy.

Song Dandan: I am a Rooster.

Zhao Benshan: I am a tiger.

Song Dandan: This is the baby’s father.

Zhao Benshan: This is my mother.

(The band plays music)

Zhao Benshan: My baby’s mother.

Song Dandan: My dad, what are you talking about! No, my baby’s father.

Cui Yongyuan: Please have a seat. Uncle and aunt, I'm too nervous. Don't be nervous. Let me tell you about this talk show. It has topics. Once we talk about the topics, it will not be nervous.

Zhao Benshan: What kind of flower?

Cui Yongyuan: It’s not about the flowers, it’s about the topic. Today’s topic is “Let’s talk about the past first, then the present, and then the future.” Uncle, please talk about the past first.

Zhao Benshan: Let’s talk about saving money first? I didn't bring any money today. Thanks!

(The band plays music)

Zhao Benshan: Sorry! I'm not going to save money today. Thanks!

Cui Yongyuan: No, uncle, I’m not asking you to talk about saving money, I’m asking you to talk about the past yesterday.

Song Dandan: I didn’t save any money yesterday. We just received a notification from the township yesterday, which didn’t say anything about saving money. Thank you.

Cui Yongyuan: Uncle and aunt, the past I am talking about is not the one about saving money yesterday.

Zhao Benshan: Is it the one who saved money the day before yesterday? sorry! I didn't get any notification from the township the day before yesterday, thank you.

Cui Yongyuan: It’s not the money saved the day before yesterday. It's the one from yesterday.

Song Dandan: That bed yesterday, in front? Ah, yes! The moonlight in front of my bed is like frost on the ground. I look up at the moon and look down at my hometown. Thanks!

Cui Yongyuan: It’s not the moonlit bedside. What I mean by this is, this, you two recall the past, comment on the present, and then look forward to the future. Did you understand?

Zhao Benshan: Memories of bedtime?

Song Dandan: Remembering the bed?

Zhao Benshan: How do you remember what happened in bed? .

Song Dandan: It’s so embarrassing.

Cui Yongyuan: Hey, the more you talk about it, the more complicated it becomes! It’s not about reminiscing about bed, that’s not what I mean, it’s about the past

Cui Yongyuan: Ah, are you ready?

Zhao Benshan: Hello everyone! The spring breeze of reform is blowing everywhere. The Chinese people are ambitious and work together to cross the century. (Styling) Thank you!

(The band plays music)

Cui Yongyuan: That’s pretty good.

Song Dandan: I can also say those jingles.

Cui Yongyuan: Auntie, are you ready too?

Song Dandan: Yes, (stands up and says) Hello everyone! The spring breeze of reform blows through the door, and the Chinese people are invigorated; we have to share the joys and sorrows to achieve success, and it depends on people to keep the weather from falling. (Styling) Thank you!

Zhao Benshan: If it doesn’t stop raining, it depends on people. What if it does?

Song Dandan: If it doesn’t rain, you have to rely on people. If it rains, you have to marry someone.

Cui Yongyuan: It’s a whole poetry competition.

Zhao Benshan: Did you see it? I’m at home, so I said it’s not easy for you to write this paragraph carefully.

Song Dandan: Want to find fault? Then you say it.

Cui Yongyuan: Then uncle, tell me about the situation.

Zhao Benshan: Dear leaders and comrades! Hello everyone!

Cui Yongyuan: Do you want to make a report?

Zhao Benshan: I said, isn’t it okay to say this?

Cui Yongyuan: Ah, okay, let’s talk.

Zhao Benshan: Hello everyone! Let’s talk about the domestic situation first: 1998 was terrible, the floods were driven away, the food harvest was bumper, and everyone praised the party leadership. (pause) Hello everyone! Later, he talked about the situation abroad: today this person will step down, and tomorrow the other will be punished. War is raging, and several presidents are incompetent. (Pause) Looking at the world situation, the scenery here is unique! (Waving his arms, he used too much force, fell to the ground, and got up again) Thank you!

(The band plays music)

Cui Yongyuan: Uncle! It fell!

Zhao Benshan: Not good!

Song Dandan: Very free and easy, not able to stand firm.

Zhao Benshan: Humph! (Expressing dissatisfaction, repeating the performance pose, awkward posture) Looking at the world situation, the scenery here is unique.

Song Dandan: Like a puppet!

Cui Yongyuan: Uncle and aunt, you are a little relaxed now, and you must continue to relax.

Zhao Benshan: I feel that I have entered the initial stage of relaxation.

(Take off shoes, cross legs) (band plays music)

Song Dandan: Why did you take off your shoes?

Zhao Benshan: Keep relaxing!

Song Dandan: I want you to relax your mind. Why are you relaxing your feet? It stinks and your feet are sweaty.

Zhao Benshan: You can’t take off your shoes, right?

Cui Yongyuan: (said reluctantly) Ah, okay, okay.

Song Dandan: Emit poisonous gas!

Cui Yongyuan: To tell the truth: polluting the air!

Zhao Benshan: Tell the truth? I remember it! Aren't you the one from "Tell the Truth"?

Cui Yongyuan: Yes, tell the truth.

Song Dandan: It turns out you are Cui Yongyuan, the host of "Tell the Truth"!

Cui Yongyuan: Yes.

Song Dandan: Speaking of Cui Yongyuan, who in my village doesn’t know him? I like you! They all praise you. .

Cui Yongyuan: Really?

Song Dandan: The girls in my village all say it secretly.

Cui Yongyuan: What are you talking about secretly?

Song Dandan: The host of "To Tell the Truth" is so handsome and cool! There is a village flower who misses you so much.

(The band plays music)

Zhao Benshan: How do you say this!

Song Dandan: Tell the truth.

Zhao Benshan: What are you talking about? I'm sorry, that's not what I meant. The baby's mother said, it means that the village flower likes you very much.

(The band plays music)

Zhao Benshan: No, that village flower really likes your "Tell the Truth".

Cui Yongyuan: That’s right! Now uncle and aunt are relaxed!

Song Dandan: I have to continue to relax.

Cui Yongyuan: Okay, just relax! Let’s talk about your old days now. In what year did you two get together? no! In what year was it combined? (To himself) Why am I nervous too?

Zhao Benshan: Let’s meet on May 8th.

Song Dandan: Around winter.

Cui Yongyuan: Yes, when you two fall in love, which one pursues the other?

Zhao Benshan: Hehe.

Song Dandan: Hehe.

Cui Yongyuan: Isn’t it difficult to say?

Zhao Benshan: Actually, Xiao Cui, you should have a rich imagination. Think of the past: the white girl chasing the black brother, the sound echoed all over the hillside.

Song Dandan: Why don’t you tell the truth? Let everyone see that your face looks like that of Brother Hei. Can I get on the road and chase you?

Zhao Benshan: You said that I am like "black brother", what do you think? There's another black guy?

Song Dandan: This "black brother" is an adjective, not a person.

Zhao Benshan: You are not a human being! I'm a real black guy!

(The band plays music)

Cui Yongyuan: It’s better to say authentic Viagra.

Song Dandan: Thinking about the past, it was definitely not a boast. I had willow eyebrows, a slim waist, and a cherry mouth. Everyone said I was beautiful when they looked at me. The Wu Dawei next door makes you regret not taking a look at him for a day.

Zhao Benshan: Pull him down! To be honest, it's okay if Wu Dawei doesn't look at you. He only regrets it after he takes a look.

Cui Yongyuan: Uncle, to be honest, aunt is still the same as before.

Song Dandan: It’s no longer possible now. My hair has turned white, my wrinkles have grown, and my two white front teeth have also been laid off.

Zhao Benshan: Hahaha, front teeth are laid off, wrinkles are put on the job, it’s even!

Cui Yongyuan: Uncle and aunt, I can ask you one by one. Let’s ask my aunt first.

Song Dandan: What do you ask?

Cui Yongyuan: Auntie, how did uncle chase you back then?

Song Dandan: I remember back then, Brother Hei would run with me during the day and cut the grass for me. Recite love songs to me at night. What do you say, Baimei, you are the phoenix in the sky and I am the jackal on the ground. Weird and scary. Later, he came to his home to care for her and secretly looked at her.

Cui Yongyuan: I’m even making secret glances.

Zhao Benshan: Don’t talk nonsense. The talented man I am talking about is the talent of talents. How can the man who herds the cowherd be the man-eating jackal? I remember once, I gave you duck eggs, and once when I was picking corn, I gave you a pole. When will I give you a secret look? What is the amorous thing?

Cui Yongyuan: Qiubo is a young man and woman.

Song Dandan: In those days, you secretly brought me a bowl of Qiubo every day. You can’t remember it! People in our village all say: Brother Hei, Brother Hei, making secret glances. Such a short memory.

Zhao Benshan: A bowl of eyes? What?

Song Dandan: A bowl of autumn spinach. Just this bowl of spinach, not to mention no oil or salt, but also a lot of sauerkraut. Especially the spinach soup, it is sour and astringent, so sour that my teeth ache. Maybe my front teeth are caused by your spinach soup. A bowl of spinach sour soup will harm my two front teeth. You can say it lightly: spinach, spinach, pure. love.

Zhao Benshan: Oh! It turned out to be that Qiu Bo, there was something like that.

(The band plays music)

Zhao Benshan: I gave it away, several times a year. We were poor at that time, so we added more sauerkraut, only the quantity, not the quality.

Cui Yongyuan: Today is the first time I heard about secret flirting. Uncle, just giving sour spinach is not enough to go up the scale. I have to give you a token of love that symbolizes sweet love. Think about it, do you have it?

Zhao Benshan: Hahaha, we still have deep memories of this matter. Just say it.

Song Dandan: I said?

Cui Yongyuan: Tell me, aunt.

Song Dandan: Let’s use a love token for our partner. It’s a purely natural love token. Brother Hei often catches a cold, so I would like to give him a mask. I was poor at that time and had no money to buy. When I caught up, I happened to be herding sheep for the production team. I found that the sheep's tail was losing hair, so I plucked the hair from the sheep's tail. I go home at night and spin yarn to make masks. Later, the production team found out, guess what?

Cui Yongyuan: Poaching socialist corners!

Song Dandan: He said: "Pull off the tail of capitalism and put on a socialist mask." He also called on everyone to learn from us.

(The band plays music)

Cui Yongyuan: It’s such a fashionable token of love. It can be included in the Disney record. You said, how can wool be used to make a mask? Besides, it is made of capitalism. The hair on the tail and the socialist mask are very symbolic of the times and have a lot of room for appreciation.

Zhao Benshan: Fortunately, I missed the mark! Otherwise, we are charged with: "pulling out the wool of socialism and planting the tail of capitalism." Can you stand it? Why take such a big risk? To chase Black Brother! Isn't this the token of sweet love?

Cui Yongyuan: Very creative! Is there any traditional bride price?

Song Dandan: I am not afraid of everyone laughing when I say it. His family is too poor to care about anything.

Zhao Benshan: Why don’t you remember it? There was a household appliance at that time!

Cui Yongyuan: Household appliances?

Zhao Benshan: Household generator, (pause) flashlight!

Cui Yongyuan: The light of this generator may not be strong, but it illuminates the rough and turbulent past of uncles and aunts. I think it is this ordinary life that is worth learning from!

Zhao Benshan: Hey, what are you studying? Life changes and crises arise.

Cui Yongyuan: In the past?

Zhao Benshan: Not in front of the bed, no, in the past. No, not before.

Cui Yongyuan: Now?

Zhao Benshan: After we became rich after the reform and opening up, we lived in a two-story building. Bai Mei suddenly proposed separation, saying that she wanted to learn foreign languages ??and connect with international standards. The thing about love is to narrow the distance in order to increase the sweetness (density). As a result, when I went upstairs, the distance became farther and the sweetness was reduced! Even his speech has changed! If you talk on the phone in a foreign language, it's called "Halu! Vasai!" If you have three meals a day in a foreign language, it's called "Hungry guest! Come down and eat some rice!"

(band playing)

Song Dandan: Why don’t you blame yourself? Why the honey degree?

Zhao Benshan: Why?

Song Dandan: You are in front of the TV all day long, waiting and looking forward to Asian beauties, making random glances at you!

Zhao Benshan: What's the point of talking about that? Why don't you also play love songs in front of the TV: "Ah! My handsome oriental boy!"

Song Dandan: What about the handsome oriental boy? Handsome oriental guys are my idols.

Zhao Benshan: That Asian beauty is the girl of my dreams, I love her so much!

Cui Yongyuan: Uncle, that’s not right.

Song Dandan: What are you doing when there are so many people!

Cui Yongyuan: Don’t say anything, just relax.

Zhao Benshan: What did you say you were doing!

Song Dandan: Xiao Cui, can you be fair? Is this too relaxed?

Cui Yongyuan: It’s too relaxing. (Turns sideways and says to the audience) That’s too presumptuous!

Song Dandan: What should we do?

Zhao Benshan: Want to impeach me?

Song Dandan: Tell yourself, what should we do?

Cui Yongyuan: We have been together for so many years, and we have had ups and downs for so many years. Just to watch TV, I don’t think it’s worth it. We must tolerate each other.

Zhao Benshan: What is tolerance? Intensifying the situation, the baby's mother summoned the men, women, children, and members of the two houses of the family to a meeting to impeach me.

Cui Yongyuan: Things are getting serious!

Zhao Benshan: Members of the two houses voted democratically, without counting the votes, and unanimously passed the resolution.

Cui Yongyuan: There is still a resolution!

Zhao Benshan: Resolution: Brother Hei apologizes to Sister Bai!

Cui Yongyuan: What kind of gift or apology should I make?

Song Dandan: Tell Xiao Cui, tell the truth.

Zhao Benshan: Just say it!

(Push Zhao Benshan)

Song Dandan: One night, there was a loud bang on the door of my room. When I opened the door, his eyes were staring at me like wooden stakes, asking for it. Recite love songs.

Zhao Benshan: Stop talking, I’m sorry.

Song Dandan: What to say: "Ah! Kind Bai sister, I came to your door. Please open your eyes and see how pitiful I am. I apologize to you. I, an old crew member, hope to return to the past , when will there be hope to repair this broken ship!"

(The band plays music)

Cui Yongyuan: Uncle, tell the truth: the love song you recited is the real "Qiubao"!

Zhao Benshan: (If enlightened) Ah! We get it! "Autumn Spinach" turns out to be a fake!

(The band plays music)

Cui Yongyuan: Now I also have a resolution: imagine a better future!

Song Dandan: Well, let me think about it first.

Cui Yongyuan: Just think about it first.

Song Dandan: I have imagined that I was born in the old society, grew up under the red flag, swayed in the spring breeze, and entered an epoch-making period. Thinking about the past, we are in the same boat. Look at the present, ride the wind and waves. I wish you a bright future. Then I came up with an idea.

Cui Yongyuan: What do you think?

Song Dandan: I want to write a book.

Zhao Benshan: Oh, stop it. Pull it down, you can’t even read the book and can’t read it, so what’s the point of writing it?

Cui Yongyuan: Uncle, your love is like a book!

Song Dandan: Yes, my book is called "White Girl and Black Brother"!

Zhao Benshan: If you can write "White Girl and Black Brother", I will also write a book "Beauty and Black Brother", no, it's "Beauty and Handsome Boy", just for fun.

Cui Yongyuan: Auntie, I wish you success in writing your book! Uncle, what do you most want to do now?

Zhao Benshan: I am going to go on a rowing trip with Bai Mei, so that this broken love boat can grow up in the wind and rain.

Song Dandan: Before traveling, I have to put these two front teeth to work to strengthen the load capacity of this broken love boat.

Cui Yongyuan: Use your front teeth to repair the broken ship of love.

Song Dandan: Then do a beauty treatment, a facelift, which is image beauty. That book "White Girl and Black Brother" is my inner beauty.

Zhao Benshan: I also want to beautify my broken love boat.

Cui Yongyuan: Great! Beauty, and wine. As we talked, the food and drinks came out. In fact, I could tell that uncle and aunt, I hope to combine the brilliant image and deep connotation into ideal love. I wish uncle and aunt to stay young forever and live a happy life!

(The band plays music)

Cui Yongyuan: At the end of this program, as usual, we have to ask each guest to say a word. Auntie comes first?

Song Dandan: What do you say?

Cui Yongyuan: Tell the truth.

Song Dandan: Why tell the truth?

Cui Yongyuan: Tell the truth as you wish.

Song Dandan: I very much hope: Brother Hei, Brother Hei, give me more glances.

Zhao Benshan: Baimei Baimei, you are right! Haru, Vasai, hungry guest, Mi Xi!

Cui Yongyuan: Now I realize: The uncle is like a cantaloupe, and the aunt is like a rose.

Zhao Benshan: Now I feel: The broken ship of love is undergoing a qualitative change, no, it is undergoing a qualitative change.

Cui Yongyuan: Uncle, you mean, from a long distance to a close distance. Uncle, it’s your turn to say something now.

Zhao Benshan: What do you say?

Cui Yongyuan: Tell the truth according to your wishes.

Zhao Benshan: My wish: Love breaks the boat and moves forward!

(The band plays music)

Cui Yongyuan: I wish you, the audience in front of the TV and all my friends, to continue to move forward! cheers! Tell the truth next time, goodbye

Cui Yongyong can be changed to any female host. Her age can be disguised and can be changed according to the specific situation. If you don't like this, you can replace it with the sketch "Planning" from the 2007 Spring Festival Gala. Niu Qun can use a lesbian.

"The Night Banquet", one of Zhao Benshan's sketch series

Upload date: 2008-1-8 Upload: Shang Weimin Popularity: 2072

Screenwriter: Shang Wei People

Director: Wu Yangwei

Performing: Zhao Benshan, Song Dandan and Fan Wei

Song Dandan: Can I tell you to hurry up? Why is it so slow!

Zhao Benshan: If you can’t see clearly at night, you’re speeding no matter how fast you go.

Song Dandan: Do you think you are a Boeing 747? Aren’t you just unwilling to go to Biaozi’s house?

Zhao Benshan: It’s not that I don’t want to go. You said that your brother is not doing business all day long. One moment he said that he was going to Iraq to engage in peaceful evolution.

The next moment he said that oil prices were rising. To negotiate. Leng said that he can build an aircraft carrier, and I heard that he is now conducting nuclear weapons tests at home. I'm afraid that my personal safety will be attacked!

Song Dandan: No matter how bad he is, he is still your brother-in-law, is he a relative? Are they relatives? If you are a relative, you have to go! Let's have a nice dinner with him

and take the opportunity to persuade him to change!

Zhao Benshan: What you ordered for dinner sounds good to me. I think what he needs is to purify his soul!

Fan Wei: Noisy, noisy, noisy! Who is making a noise at the door during the Chinese New Year? What is this? Yo sister, brother-in-law. What strong wind has brought you here?

Zhao Benshan: Tornado level 18!

Song Dandan: Isn’t this the New Year? It’s boring for you to be at home alone. We came here specially to accompany you!

Fan Wei: You said that you are plowing that useless land, I----do I still need to accompany you? Didn't you see that I'm busy?

Zhao Benshan: Are you still studying nuclear explosions? Don't launch to other countries! Be careful if America comes to you.

Fan Wei: Why are you making noise? If the United States comes to me, why can’t it go through the United Nations?

Zhao Benshan: Did you see it? Use ignorance as humor!

Song Dandan: Your brother-in-law wants you to put your mind in the right place!

Fan Wei: How---how to correct it, I put tiles on the Great Wall, I put vests on the tigers. I'll put the plane in reverse ----

I'll put it in reverse, and I'll put a switch on the sun!

Zhao Benshan: If you look at it, you are just one of a kind. Why are you wearing a chef's uniform today? Cooking yourself!

Fan Wei: What---what kind of chef uniform? I don’t know, can you please stop talking nonsense? This is work clothes for experiments!

Zhao Benshan: Why don’t you take me down? Are you still wearing work clothes? It looks like a hospital from a distance, but looks like a charcoal burning ground from a close distance. If you take a closer look at the restaurant, you will see that

it is actually a noodle shop! How good is your chef? Why are you so high-profile? What do you think you accomplished this year?

Fan Wei: What’s wrong if you can’t do it? On---on success or failure, life is heroic, the worst thing is to come back next year---again! Doesn't it have to have a

process?

Song Dandan: Okay, let’s not be invincible on this New Year’s Day, it’s unlucky. I'm bringing wine and food to share with your brother-in-law.

Fan Wei: Two whole cups are still the same!

Zhao Benshan: Take off your work clothes, the chef. Haven't you ever been a chef? Let me test you to see if you know these dishes.

Daughter-in-law, bring it up.

Song Dandan: This is the first set for you.

Fan Wei: Isn’t this chicken stew—bastard stew?

Zhao Benshan: Wrong! This is called a beautiful sugar daddy!

Song Dandan: Second set

Fan Wei: Aren’t these potatoes starched?

Zhao Benshan: Wrong! This is called sugar-coated bullets!

Fan Wei: No---don’t eat it, it will become corrupt again!

Song Dandan: My wife will give him something that is not corrupt.

Song Dandan: Look, this is a stupid chicken, this is a stupid duck.

This is stupid goose, all the green food is raised on its own land!

Zhao Benshan: There are idiots here!

Fan Wei: What kind of idiot are you, idiot? Aren't you talking about me in disguise?

Zhao Benshan: No, isn’t this the egg laid by a stupid chicken? What do you call a stupid person?

Fan Wei: Is there culture? Is there culture? The eggs laid by stupid chickens are called stupid ones? What if the next cow is called stupid cow?

Song Dandan: I said you can’t just let him do it. Isn’t it just a matter of calling the eggs? What kind of argument are you always making?

Zhao Benshan: Okay, go ahead and cut out this stupid----no----egg. Come on, how about we drink?

Fan Wei: Do it---do it!

Zhao Benshan: I am talking about Biaozi, not my brother-in-law talking about you. You said that you are in your forties, so you should know something.

Fan Wei: Can you not talk about this? It’s okay not to say it!

Zhao Benshan: Let’s not talk about anything else. Just say that last time at Wu Laoer’s house, people brought us pears. You said you went up and took away the land.

Fan Wei: I want you---which one do you want?

Zhao Benshan: Do you still need to ask? I will definitely take the small land.

Fan Wei: Just---I knew you would take the small one, so I left it for you in advance.

Zhao Benshan: You are so smart!

Song Dandan: It’s cut, and it’s still double yellow.

Zhao Benshan: Stop working so hard. Come over and take a bite.

Fan Wei: Fighting as brothers, drinking as husband and wife as soldiers, should the couple come together?

Song Dandan: What soldiers, generals, and local Biaozi, what are your plans for next year?

Fan Wei: I’m going to do something to make money quickly.

Zhao Benshan: Go ahead and rob the bank!

Fan Wei: No---I won’t drink anymore. You’ll always get in trouble with me.

Song Dandan: Your brother-in-law wants you to be more practical.

Fan Wei: I plan to speculate in real estate.

Zhao Benshan: Real estate speculation? Don’t set yourself on fire. Do you know where to open the door?

Fan Wei: I have never eaten pork and I have never seen a pig---the pig is running!

Song Dandan: You can make more money by raising pigs. Look at the land price for pork now.

Fan Wei: Is it profitable to raise pigs or speculate in real estate? How much does a pound of pork cost? How much does a house cost?

Zhao Benshan: Which one is heavier, a pound of pork or a pound of house?

Fan Wei: Of course it’s a pound of house—the house is sinking, you think I’m stupid!

Song Dandan: How to settle the land account? It's obviously pork!

Zhao Benshan: As expected of two sisters, come and have a drink!

Fan Wei: Brother-in-law, are you kidding me? How much does your house cost? On paper? Use ignorance as humor!

Zhao Benshan: No matter how heavy it is? Haven’t you heard that every inch of land is valuable? Now gold is not worth as much as land.

Fan Wei: I don’t want to speculate in stocks like you do!

Zhao Benshan: Who is teasing?

Fan Wei: If I don’t bother anyone, I will buy stocks.

Song Dandan: In this business, you don’t need to work hard or take care of yourself, and your money will just go down.

Zhao Benshan: I’ll hit you carefully, I get angry when I mention stocks. You said that this year will either skyrocket or plummet. I'm worried during the day

and can't sleep at night. After a year of hard work, it all comes down to one word: "set"!

Fan Wei: This won’t work, that won’t work either, then---then what do you want me to do?

Zhao Benshan: I think you should just keep doing your job down-to-earth, and then start a family as soon as you are done. I've been here for most of my life, you say.

Fan Wei: No---if you don’t have a family, your love will be in arrears and your relationship will be at a standstill. Love---not in the service area!

Zhao Benshan: This family even started roaming! Come and have a drink!

Song Dandan: Stop drinking. If you drink too much, you won’t be able to go back for a while.

Zhao Benshan: If you can’t go back, stay here—come and do it!

Fan Wei: Brother-in-law, do you have a flashlight?

Zhao Benshan: What are you doing? What do you want that thing for?

Fan Wei: Let me give you a unique skill!

Zhao Benshan: Acrobatics? The wife brought the flashlight.

Song Dandan: Are you testing nuclear weapons for your brother-in-law?

Fan Wei: Do you believe that I can climb along this pillar if you don’t see me? Climb up?

Zhao Benshan: Biaozi has drunk too much. Go to the kitchen and give him some vinegar.

Song Dandan: I drink too much, how can I stop it?

Fan Wei: I didn’t drink too much, not too much. I'm going to the toilet. Brother-in-law, please keep your flashlight and wait for me to come back and crawl. Don't close it. Yes

Otherwise I will fall off as soon as you pass it!

Zhao Benshan: Hahahaha (crying)

Song Dandan: What's going on? Did you drink too much?

Zhao Benshan: I didn’t drink too much.

Song Dandan: Why are you crying if you didn’t drink too much?

Zhao Benshan: Why should I cry? I cried that he was full of shit---it's a pity that I couldn't take it out! Where are my shoes? Go away, stop drinking and go home.

Song Dandan: Why did you wait for him to come back when you just left? Alas, old man (chasing)

Fan Wei: Where are the people? Where have all the people gone? I said brother-in-law, please turn off the flashlight, otherwise how could I come down? (Chasing down the stage)