Children's funny jokes and stories break your heart.

Children's funny jokes and stories will give you a stomachache.

Lead: Life is a big dye vat, with sorrow and joy. Everyone hates sadness and approaches joy. Next, I will arrange a complete collection of children's funny jokes for you, and I will laugh my ass off, hoping to bring you a little joy.

Children's funny jokes (1)

1、? Uncle, your hair is so handsome! ? The neighbor's ten-year-old girl said.

? Good boy! Here, take this! ? I handed her a bottle of nutrition express.

? Uncle, if you give this to me, my brother will rob me. ?

? Uncle, can I get you another bottle?

? Uncle, I have two younger brothers! ?

? Go away! ?

It was so hot that I shaved my head. On the way back, passers-by cast strange eyes.

A little regret, comfort yourself: just feel comfortable, there is no need to care too much about other people's opinions!

While I was waiting for the elevator downstairs, a kid came in from the outside, looked up at me, suddenly took a step back, then turned around and ran and shouted: Logger Vick ran out of the TV. . . ?

I got a small one to save money today. She told me solemnly, brother, don't put the money in the bank, they will mix it for you, and there will be nothing left in the end.

My lucky money mother helped me deposit it in the bank, that's all!

Me. . .

My three-year-old daughter watched TV with her today. The little girl in the advertisement said: I know the taste of the sea. . .

The girl suddenly said loudly, you know nothing. . .

Dad sent the guests away and said politely:? You walk slowly. ?

The son said innocently:? Dad, why do you have to say go slowly when you send someone away, while mom has to say go quickly when you send someone away?

Dad! @#! @#$%@#

Children's funny jokes (2)

1, I bought a bag of rice, and when I took it home with an electric car, I found a hole in the corner of the rice bag, which had leaked a lot of rice along the way.

My son hurried to the door, looked at the trajectory of the electric car just now and said to himself, this is the legendary rice noodle!

My neighbor has a lovely cat. I suddenly heard that I was going to give it away today.

Some don't understand, ask why. It turns out that his seven-month-old son learned to meow before he could speak.

My son is practicing calligraphy. I told him the story that Wang Xizhi asked Wang Xianzhi to practice calligraphy and 18 jar water. My son asked me: Who is Wang Xianzhi?

Me: Wang Xianzhi is the son of Wang Xizhi, a great calligrapher in Jin Dynasty, and also a great calligrapher. He is known as the king of size in history.

The son put down the pen and said, if you don't practice, the king will blow up and you can't afford to practice.

Me. . .

4. My five-year-old daughter was playing in the park when she suddenly found a bottle cap of a drink. She ran to me happily and said, Dad, another bottle.

I said, you can't read, how do you know it's another bottle?

My daughter said that the first two words are the same, just thank you for tasting, or have another bottle ~

5. Going home by bus, a teenager is eating.

I smelled it and felt uncomfortable, so I said, little friend, will you stop eating? My sister was a little carsick and almost threw up. . . ?

The little boy looked at me and said with concern, don't worry, sister. I'll lend you the plastic bag after eating. ?

Me. . .

Children's funny jokes (3)

1, bought ice cream for my three-year-old daughter, but I was afraid that she would have diarrhea after eating too much. Come on, mom. Have a bite?

As a result, I bit more than half in one bite. Because it was too cold, I slapped my hand hard, and my daughter said, let you eat that big mouth and burn you to death! ?

I can't stand my daughter-in-law and decided to run away from home! Find out those hundreds of hidden chess pieces, take your daughter with you, and don't bring your mobile phone. Leave a note: Go! Found a place to live.

My daughter asked me, Dad, do you think Mom will come to us?

Me: Yes, Dad left a note.

She: Is this it?

I looked: ha, right, right, that's it, huh? Holy shit?

Today, my five-year-old daughter pointed to the honey on the kitchen table and asked me, Dad, what is that?

Me: Honey.

Daughter: Oh, I heard it's delicious, right?

Me: Huh? Who said that?

Daughter: Bear said so!

Me. . .

4. mom: laugh and laugh.

Daughter: Laugh at you!

Mom: I am a fart, then what are you?

Daughter: I am a fart!

Mom #! $#%$#%

5. My nephew is in the fourth grade of primary school. He came to my house to play today. I made fun of him. Do you have a girlfriend?

He said no, I:? You are too old. You don't have a girlfriend.

He replied:? Do you think it's weird that when choosing a girlfriend, you have to see her mother first. Girls nowadays are too young to grow up. Her mother is beautiful, but she will never be ugly. I watched all the parent-teacher conferences, and there was nothing to see. . . ?

Me. . .

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