Children's English jokes?

The following is what I compiled, welcome to read!

: still have 40 years to live.

A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. On t

The following is what I compiled, welcome to read!

: still have 40 years to live.

A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. On the operating table, she experienced a near-death experience Seeing God, she asked if it was this. God said, "No, you can live another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days." After recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have facial lift, lip suction, breast augmentation and abdominal wrinkle removal. She even asked someone to help her change her hair color, thinking that since she still has a lot of time to live, she should make good use of it. She was discharged from the hospital after the last operation and was run over by an ambulance when crossing the street. When she came to God, she asked, "I remember you said I could live for 40 years?" God replied, "I didn't recognize you."

A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. On the operating table, she saw God on her deathbed, so she asked God if her days were over. God replied, "No, you can still live for 43 years, 2 months and 8 days." When her body was about to recover, the lady thought that she would have to live for so many years and treat herself well, so she decided not to leave the hospital, but to give herself a full face, liposuction, breast augmentation, and then a beauty and beauty operation such as lifting her abdomen. She even asked someone to go to the hospital to dye her hair. After the last operation, the lady was discharged from the hospital, but just as she was crossing the road, she was killed by an ambulance rushing back to the hospital. She stood before God again. She was puzzled and asked God, "I remember you said I could live for another 40 years?" God replied, "I didn't recognize you then."

：

In middle school, I was always embarrassed about my height.

Once, a lifeguard asked me out. I never really stood next to him, and I didn't know how tall he was, so on the night of the date, I took out two pairs of shoes-one with heels and one with flats. I arranged for my brother to answer the door, compare his height with my date, and then ran upstairs to let me know which pair of shoes to wear.

I was waiting when the doorbell rang. Then my brother appeared and said something I didn't want to hear: "Walk barefoot."

In middle school, I was very sensitive about my height.

Once, a lifeguard asked me out. In fact, I have never stood side by side with him, so I don't know how tall he is. So on the night of the date, I took out two pairs of shoes, a pair of high heels and a pair of flat heels. I arranged for my brother to open the door, let him compete with the lifeguard, and then went upstairs to tell me which pair of shoes to wear.

The doorbell rang and I waited upstairs. My brother ran upstairs and told me the sad news: "You can go on a date barefoot."

Is he dying?

A man was sitting in a bar, tears streaming down his face. A friend came in and asked him why he was so unhappy. The weeping man said, the doctor just told me that I will take these pills for the rest of my life.

His friend happily pointed out that many people have to take medicine every day in their lives. Of course, he replied, but he only gave me 10 yuan.

A man was sitting in a bar crying. A friend came in and asked him why he was so sad. The man cried and said, just now, the doctor asked me to take these drugs for life.

His friend easily pointed out that many people have to take medicine every day all their lives. Of course, the man replied, but he only gave me ten tablets.

Blonde and farmer

There was a blonde who hated blonde jokes so much that she dyed her hair red. The joke stopped and she felt good. One Saturday afternoon, she went for a ride in the country. While riding, she noticed a flock of sheep, so she stopped to get them. n......。

A blonde is a disgusting yellow joke. She dyed her hair red. The joke stopped and she felt good. She hitchhiked in the country on Saturday afternoon. On this trip, she noticed a flock of sheep and stopped to feed them.

It is too late.

A medical student was asked to explain how much certain medicine he would give to his patients. He immediately replied, "Five."

A minute later, the student asked the professor, "May I correct my answer?" The professor looked at his watch and said, "It's too late. Your patient died thirty seconds ago. "

A medical student was asked to explain the dosage of medicine he gave to the patient. He immediately replied, "Five."

A minute later, the student asked the professor, "Can I correct my answer?" The professor looked at his watch and said, "It's too late. Your patient died 30 seconds ago. "

: Every dark cloud has a glimmer of hope to benefit from misfortune.

A man is all thumbs. He has been unemployed for several months.

Finally, he got a job in a porcelain shop. He only worked for a few days before he dropped a big vase.

The manager called him to the office and told him that he would deduct money from his salary every week until the payment for the vase was paid. He asked, "How much did it cost?" "Five hundred dollars." The manager said. "Oh, great," he said happily. "I'm so happy that I finally have a stable job."

There is a careless person who always breaks things. He has been unemployed for several months.

Finally, he got a job in a porcelain shop. But only a few days later, he broke a big vase.

The manager took him to the office and asked him to deduct his salary every week until the compensation was enough. He asked, "How much is that vase worth?" The manager said, "It's worth 500 dollars." He said happily, "Ah! Great, I am very happy to finally have a stable job. "

: * * * What happened?

A new police officer and an experienced partner went out in a patrol car for the first time. A phone call came in and told them to disperse some of the people we were wandering. The police drove into the street and saw a large group of people standing on the corner.

The newcomer rolled down the window and said, "Let's leave the corner, guys." A few glances, but no one moved, so he shouted again, "let's get out of that corner ... now!" " The group was threatened and began to leave, casting puzzled eyes in his direction.

The young policeman was proud of his first official action. He turned to his partner and asked, "How did I do?" "Good," the experienced policeman said with a smile, "especially because this is a bus stop!"

A new policeman and an old policeman went out to patrol in a police car for the first time. They were ordered to evacuate a group of idlers, so they drove into the street and saw a group of people standing at the intersection.

The new policeman rolled down the window: "Attention, everyone, get out of here." People glanced at him and ignored him. He shouted, "Get out! Leave now! " No one knew what had happened, but they left under his threat.

The new policeman was satisfied with the result of his first official duty and said to the old policeman, "How's it going?" "You did a good job," the old policeman said with a smile, "especially at the bus stop."

I can go home.

Now I can go home.

One day after school, the teacher said to his students, "tomorrow morning, if any of you can answer my first question." I will allow him or her to go home early. " The next day, when the teacher came into the classroom, he found the blackboard painted. He was very angry and asked, "Who did it? Please stand up! " "It's me," Bob said. "Now, I can go home. Goodbye, sir! "

I can go home now.

One day, after school, the teacher said to his students, "Tomorrow morning, if any of you can answer my first question, I will allow him or her to go home first." The next day, when the teacher came into the classroom, he found that the blackboard was scribbled. He was very angry and asked, "Who painted it?" Please stand up. "Bob said," it's me, sir. Now I can go home. Goodbye. "