Why is the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law difficult to deal with?

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been the most difficult since ancient times, and living together will produce many contradictions. The following three factors are the key to this phenomenon:

First, "two tigers are not allowed in one mountain", and there can only be one hostess in the family.

As the saying goes, "Two tigers are not allowed in one mountain". Similarly, there can only be one hostess with the right to speak in a family. My mother-in-law has been "running" this family for many years, and has established enough authority to be used to "pointing fingers" at her son, husband and even grandchildren. If she suddenly meets a woman who is disobedient and even wants to "seize power", a fight will inevitably break out between them.

I have a colleague, Xiaomei, who has been married for less than a year and basically "fights" with her mother-in-law at home every day. Xiaomei's mother-in-law has a strong personality and likes to "give orders" to her grandson's various things. Xiaomei is not a "soft persimmon", so she doesn't listen to each other. If you disagree, you have a fight, or even a fight. Xiaomei's husband said there was nothing he could do in this situation, but they decided to go out and rent a house after making money this year.

Second, people in different times have different views on life.

Personally, the great difference in life concept is the key factor that leads to the disharmony and contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Behind different views and decisions about things, it will seriously hurt each other's feelings, and with the accumulation of dissatisfaction, it will eventually break out.

I have a deep understanding of this problem. Less than half a year after marriage, the daughter-in-law and the old mother quarreled twice. One of them was because my daughter-in-law bought a lot of fruit every time, and finally threw it away when she couldn't eat it. The mother thought she was wasting and said a few words. The daughter-in-law bluntly said, "Spend your own money and leave her alone."

The other time was during the Chinese New Year, and my mother asked her to come down for dinner. It was past 9 o'clock at that time, but she never got up. Mother complained a few words, she heard them, and then they confronted each other. For my mother and my daughter-in-law, I will be a little partial to my daughter-in-law, because I think it is not easy for her to come to this strange family for me. But I personally criticized my daughter-in-law for these two things, so I went to apologize to my mother)

Third, I am worried that the other party will steal my son's (husband's) love.

Some mother-in-law will worry that her son "married his daughter-in-law and forgot his mother." After all, she has been paying for herself for so many years, and she will never be allowed to compete for what belongs to her.

This is the mentality of my cousin's mother. She doesn't like her daughter-in-law everywhere, and she finds fault with each other when she has nothing to do, which eventually leads to the divorce of her cousin and cousin. In my opinion, the best way for a mother-in-law who conforms to this idea is not to live together. Not seeing each other is the best respect for each other. In the same way, some women can't hide that their husbands are too filial to their mothers and will be jealous, jealous and contradictory. )

Some people say that men with high emotional intelligence can handle the problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but I think family chores are not as simple as they seem. I have always suggested that a married daughter-in-law should never live with her mother-in-law if conditions permit. I believe that distance can really produce beauty.