Why do parents beat their children, and children will resist?

Personally, I think it's because this environment is different. I'm really different. This was the traditional kind at that time. For the people, just when they can have enough food and clothing, they begin to liberate some freedom, be bold and unrestrained, be naughty and let their hearts fly. In this case, the conservative thoughts of the older generation have a little conflict with them. At the same time, this person will also accept some measures such as sticks, restraint and corporal punishment, so it will produce some, but many parents do not agree with this cognitive feeling, ah, let alone some. He was educated by many parents when he was a child, and he also felt this. He thought it was ironic, and was talked about as a joke and talk show, but in fact, in her marriage, it would have an indelible impact on her marriage. Several times, I finally live alone now, because I was extremely short of family warmth at that time. This, insecure, very sensitive, needs a lot of tolerance to melt, and the psychological problems in kitchen and bathroom are not without. Not so many parents felt normal because of a stimulus at that time.

First, it's not that I don't have psychological problems, but that I don't know I have psychological problems.

It's good to be healthy in those days. Who cares if you have psychological problems? And psychological problems are often not easy to detect unless they are particularly serious. Unlike physical problems that can be seen by naked eyes or instruments, as long as they have no appearance or the parties themselves don't admit it, they won't cause people's discovery at all.

In addition, people who are often beaten and abused are likely to become the perpetrators of violence. When he was weak, he was bullied, but once he had absolute power, he would bully others in the same way. So of course he won't feel that he has a problem, and all the problems are others'. (Refer to Sun's case)

This has been the case for generations, but it never means that the previous education is correct, that is, there is no problem.

Second, it is true that there is no psychological problem, but this does not mean that there is no problem with rough beating and scolding education.

There is no denying that every child has different characteristics. It is indeed possible to have children who are tougher, thicker-skinned and broader-minded. He is often beaten and scolded, still alive and kicking, and his mental health is positive.

But this is only a part of children, and it may not be negatively affected by beating and cursing. This does not mean that beating and scolding education will not bring negative effects to all children, nor does it mean that beating and scolding education is correct. Even this part of the healthy children, we only saw that he was beaten and scolded, but we didn't see that he might have been educated by the educated members in other ways (such as gentleness and encouragement). For example, the care from grandparents, such as the influence and support from the external environment.

When these children grow up, they generally don't use beating and scolding education easily. Because his heart is positive, sunny, gentle and powerful. They can educate their children in more ways than just beating and cursing.

Thirdly, I had psychological problems, but after self-adjustment and good education, I made up with my parents in the past and successfully got rid of them.

This kind of person who comes out of the psychological shadow will definitely not be educated in the education of children. Because they know its harmfulness best.

Then why is there such a deviation?

1, two generations face different problems. My father's generation lived in the period after the founding of the People's Republic. The theme of the times is to build socialism rapidly. All walks of life have their own advanced models to learn from. Everyone is full of energy and working in full swing. Everything is oriented by politics and work, and spiritual wealth makes psychological problems much less. However, in modern society, economic construction is the center. Everyone is crossing the ocean in pursuit of their own success. The market competition is fierce, and the survival of the fittest is extremely cruel. Individuals in it are physically and mentally exhausted, and psychological problems inevitably occur frequently. From this perspective, modern people do have many psychological problems.

2. Survivor bias. My parents have experienced various tests, including material shortage, class struggle, heavy labor and so on. To tell the truth, those who survived were strong, and many people who died or died halfway had no chance to teach their younger generation. Therefore, the surviving parents do not represent how well they received education, but only represent that they survived as survivors.

3. The result of social development. In the society where my parents live, the medical conditions are not as good as they are now, and some psychological problems are not taken seriously at all. Even if there are problems, they are attributed to other general reasons. Unlike modern society, all kinds of psychological problems are classified and very detailed. Even if there is no problem, being in a sub-health state is valued by everyone, and individuals are also called upon to intervene in treatment or prevention in advance, but these problems are not valued by parents. Therefore, in modern society, people have many psychological problems, which are related to the attention of the whole society and highly developed psychology and medicine.

The development of society determines that people in different times have different concerns, and it is debatable to impose their own views on another group of people.

In this discussion, what we really need is the ability to resist pressure.

What is pressure resistance? It is the firm, persistent, confident and fearless courage and belief when people face setbacks and difficulties.

He needs great strength from your heart. And this needs enough love, enough self-confidence and enough support to be born. He loves to water it, without beating, scolding, suppressing or cheating.

Under the guise of creating frustration education for children, children are always beaten and scolded, and the fruit of "anti-pressure ability" cannot be produced. On the contrary, it is easy to produce people who are timid, cowardly and extremely inferior.

For example, Jia Baoyu in A Dream of Red Mansions was swept away by his daily cleverness in front of his father, and became shivering and unable to answer, which was a morbid timidity, fear, fear and extreme self-confidence. Can such a person be nourished inside? Can you have a stable, firm and positive mood to face setbacks and difficulties? Afraid, it's hard.

Beating and scolding education is not frustration education. No matter how good the coat is, no matter how beautiful the clothes are, they can't change the "evil cause" created by this kind of education.