Who has a good set of jokes? Send one to me, thank you! ! E-mail: 816 13539@qq.com

-1 \ A The male teacher said angrily to a class of sleeping girls, "I'm too tired to move below! When to use it, if? You can't blame the teacher if your stomach doesn't respond in the future! As a result, the whole class fainted

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1 One night, a naked man called a taxi and the driver stared at him intently. The naked man was furious and shouted, I haven't seen a fucking naked man yet! The driver is also furious: I see your fucking money! -

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Boyfriend and girlfriend sleep in the same room, and the woman draws a clear line: the beast is the one who crosses the line. When I woke up, I found that the man really didn't cross the line, and the woman slapped a person with a loud slap: animals are worse than animals! -

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The feeling of princess Xixia

In the dormitory in summer, mosquito nets are hung, and no sister has ever received them during the day.

We asked her why, and she said that Princess Xixia thought it was under the mosquito net.

Another sister said, "Shit, does it cost $ 15 for the princess to surf the net?"

On the 3rd, Liu Hongtao met a foreign guest and tried to strike up a conversation. He said, I'm Tamia Liu from Hongkong, a foreign guest, and he said, I fucking explained 70! -

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Zaizai was repaired by my father. He ran to his mother and complained, "Mom, if someone hit your son, would you do it?" Mom: "I want to avenge his son!" " "Son" ... "-

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An old lady can't read, but she likes listening to the radio. The weather forecast comes every day. After a meal, I asked her, "I have a question. Do you know where the local area is?" It rains almost every day. " -

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On the cliff, a little mouse waved its short front paws and jumped down again and again, trying to learn to fly. The mother bat next to her watched it fall to the wall and worried, Her father, tell her if it is ourselves! -

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Going to the top of Mount Tai with friends to watch the sunrise, a friend pointed to the sky and said, "I saw it!" " ""I saw it! "At this moment, someone came out with pants in his hand and shouted in the distance:" Yes, I saw the photo! You cried! " -

1。 Ghost: God, I want to be snow-white and have angel wings in my next life, but I still want to suck blood. -

God: Then you reincarnate as a nurse. -

4。 When a boy has a crush on a girl, he has the courage to ask her what she likes about boys-

"Compatible" girls, asked several times, are all the same answer-

"The boy is discouraged:" The flat head is fine. " -

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5。 One day, I caught my breath and caught the last bus, shouting: Lord! Chef one? -

Suddenly, a passenger in the window leaned out and said to me slowly, Wukong. You stopped chasing? -

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7。 After the performance of the beautiful Mongolian actress, the meeting leader came to power, and then her hands were cold and warm, and she refused to let go for a long time. She asked kindly, what's your name? The actress replied excitedly: "Mahler Gobi. Loose first "—

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8。 A man bought a parrot that can only speak two words. One day, when the host was not at home, the gas knocked at the door. -

Parrot: Who is it? -

A: Gas-

Parrot: Who is it? -

A: Gas-

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There is a man lying at the door of the owner. He wants to know who the owner is-

Door: Gas-

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9。 A man saw a pile of things on the road and squatted down to smell them. At the stern, he touched the tip of the knife and licked it in his mouth. He said he really had to go to the bathroom, but fortunately he didn't step on it! ? -

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10。 The doctor asked the patient how he broke his bone. A: I felt the shoe sand shaking the pole, and I was shaking ... I personally thought I was electrocuted, but the evil wooden stick gave me two sticks. -

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1 1。 A professor's teaching field: "others are afraid of being dirty in scientific research." Then he squatted down and poked a little cow dung on the ground with his finger, then licked his finger and put it in his mouth. A classmate quickly said, "I'm not afraid of being dirty, and then put the cow dung poked on the ground in my mouth and lick it clean." The professor said, "Still? Yes, my observation is that I poke dung with my middle finger, but I lick my index finger. " -

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12。 A public toilet, Mr. A was constipated, and pulled a long one out, and then another man rushed to Mr. B, only crouching and scratching. A gentleman heard: "Dude, I really envy you, and I am so happy." B "I envy why I don't take off my pants ...", Joan said.

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13。 Someone was practicing riding a bicycle, and the pedestrian in front was alarmed by a gentleman and shouted, "Stop it!" " "Stop it! Pedestrians hesitate to stop in a hurry. Insist on some bad riding or being knocked down by pedestrians. The pedestrian got up and was furious: "You told me this was stagnant. ! The goal is no! " -

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14 beautiful younger sister, 2 years old. One day, she even called her mother and the little guy answered the phone. Out of courtesy, I got her regards. "Son, where's mom?" Go to Huaguoshan No.1 Middle School! "..." "What do you do, son?" Aunt, you are so funny, I didn't ask you to call it! " -

My colleague's son, 4 years old. That classic sentence: "When I was young ..."-

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15。 The road in the car accident-a turtle nest was trampled by a cow. The police are investigating the cause of the accident and say, Lying Bull: Did the tortoise hit you? A plaster cow hanging on the bird's nest panicked. I don't remember, he was too fast! -

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16。 A polar bear was left alone on the ice in a daze It's really boring He started pulling out his hair to play ... two ... three ... Finally, there was no one left. He suddenly shouted that it was too cold in ............! ! ..................-

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17。 Colleague Xiaomei, her mother's daughter who came back from kindergarten, often asked her, "Beauty, today is called. I guess the little girl sighed. " When they saw me, I didn't think I was beautiful. " -

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18。 A little boy was born after a couple failed in contraception. The child's life clenched his fist and kept laughing. The nurse broke his fist. Contraception, and then the little boy began to talk: "You want to kill me, it's not that easy, hahahaha ..."-

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19。 Two people go to the mountain to play. A man accidentally slipped and fell off a cliff. His companion shouted anxiously, "how are you, brother?" Nothing? " Listen to Qiu Nan's answer: "I don't know, I still fell?" -

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20。 I thought it was a man riding a bicycle, not a handlebar, with his hand on his chest, and saw a traffic policeman say, good palm! The man replied, comrades! -

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22。 Two brothers, tiger, chasing younger brother, can really run. He said, "Brother, we won't run away. We will die with the beast." Brother said, "Don't bullshit me, I can run, but I can beat you." -

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23。 The noodles and steamed bread are flat, so I seek revenge from my cousin's instant noodles. Soak noodles, see the bean bag fight, come back with noodles and say, don't worry, I'll beat the shit out of it. -

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24。 A fashionable woman on the bus saw the empty toilet and took out a paper towel to wipe it for a while, but unfortunately she farted. She just wants a man sitting next to her to say with a smile, "I'm Kao, damn it, clean, and blow after wiping"—

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25。 Penguins are boring. I think watching polar bears play in the Arctic-

Walking, walking for many years, coming soon, suddenly thinking of home? The gas didn't turn off-

I came back, walked for many years, turned off the gas, and walked again for several years-

Finally came to the polar bear's door and knocked on the door:-

-Polar bear! Come out and play! -

Polar bear:-

-I'm done. -

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