I am urgently looking for a short humorous play suitable for 7 people to perform! ! ! Urgent request!

"Tang Bohu Spots Qiuxiang"

Characters: Tang Bohu (spoken in a gentle voice), Qiuxiang, Qiuxiang's mother (a tall boy who pretends to be a woman), narration, soundtrack (I can play it myself) flute, preferably also guitar), an audience nurse, child A, child B, Tang Bohu's follower (boy, Northeastern accent))

(The soundtrack comes on first, playing "myheartwillgoon" on the flute, After the prelude, the narrator comes on the stage, playing and speaking)

Narrator: Dear audience and friends, have you ever heard that poignant, touching, romantic and tender feeling, which makes people feel relaxed and happy? You can listen to it no matter how you listen. Not enough stories about Tang Bohu and Qiuxiang? What, have you heard of it? (Facing the audience, with a surprised expression, the music stops, and then speaks in the original calm tone, the music starts) That’s right, what you have heard before has been artificially modified, this time I will tell you an original one The story of Tang Bohu spotting Qiuxiang after any polishing. The story happened hundreds of years ago. There was Comrade Tang Bohu, the leader of the four great talents in the south of the Yangtze River who was elected through a show of hands by the whole village. (Exit, lead Tang Bohu up with his hands)

(Tang He and his followers enter)

Tang: (waving the fan and going up) Peach Blossom Temple in Taohuawu, Peach Blossom Fairy in Peach Blossom Temple; Peach Blossom Fairy Plant peach trees and pick peach blossoms in exchange for wine money. When I'm sober I just sit in front of flowers, when I'm drunk I come and sleep under flowers; half drunk and half awake day after day, flowers bloom and fall year after year. I am Tang Bohu, the incarnation of heroism and chivalry, with an unparalleled reputation for strength and valor, loved by everyone, flowers blooming, cars with flat tires, wisdom and beauty equally important, hero and chivalry. Not only am I elegant in conversation, but I also have excellent quality, which can be called a new era...

Follower: Rice.

Tang: Huh?

Follower: Oh, no, model. Hehe, (Tang Bohu was very happy when he heard the first half of the sentence, and very angry when he heard the second half) If our young master is so talented that he has to be punished, then he will have to be cut with a thousand knives; If it is a crime to say that our young master is virtuous, then he is guilty of a heinous crime; if it is a crime to say that our young master is handsome, then he is struck by lightning.

Tang: How dare you say that, I will beat you up.

Follower: Hey, sir, the imperial calendar says you have good luck today?

Tang: What are you talking about? How can you say that I have good luck today? Do you think there will ever be a day when I have no luck?

(Part 2)

Narration: One day, Tang Bohu met Comrade Qiuxiang, a peerless beauty. At that time, Qiuxiang had just returned from shopping for the old lady from the supermarket, and met Yijiayi on the way. B Two children blocked the road and robbed them.

(Qiu Xiang is holding a large pack of paper in her hand, children A and B are coming in from the other side, A is wearing a backward hat, and B is holding a crutch in his hand)

A, B: Hey, I planted this tree and opened this road. If you want to live from now on, leave money to buy the road!

Qiuxiang: If the little girl gives you the things, will you let me go?

(Qiuxiang gives things to A and B)

(B is about to leave, A holds B)

A: Wait... wait a moment, I...I want to rob...a color first.

(Tang Bohu suddenly jumped out from Qiuxiang's side)

Tang: Sunflower acupuncture hand!

(A, B are staying)

Tang: Comrade, have you read the news lately? Even if you don't watch the news, you can listen to the radio or read the newspapers. The Party teaches us that we should be proud of solidarity and mutual assistance, and be ashamed of benefiting ourselves at the expense of others; we should be proud of obeying the law and be ashamed of breaking the law. I despise those of you who steal women’s things the most. You have no technical skills at all. It’s been so many years since the reform and opening up. How come you haven’t even changed your lines? It’s really sad. (Pointing to B), look at you, you clearly have bad legs and feet, but you still walk around casually, and you go out to rob someone like this. If the police come to arrest you, you won’t even be able to run away. (Pointing to A) And you, look at you, you are wearing so little. What if you get cold? Even if you don’t think about yourself, you have to think about your parents who gave birth to you and raised you, right? Blink your eyes when you understand. Sunflower acupuncture hand.

A, B: Oh, brother, don’t say anything. I dare you that all of you with the surname Tang are so good at it. You and Tang Seng were born to the same mother, right? The younger brothers don’t dare to do it anymore. It’s really not worth the trouble to kill someone.

Follower: What are you talking about? It’s overwhelming!

(A, B below)

Qiuxiang: If the young master hadn’t rescued me just now, I’m afraid I would have...

Tang: Miss, you are too polite.

Qiuxiang: The young master looks dignified. May I ask his surname?

Tang: My surname is Tang and my given name is Bohu. What do you call a girl?

Qiuxiang: Just call me Qiuxiang.

Tang: Then please allow me to send the girl home.

Qiuxiang: Then there is Mr. Lao.

(The narration said, Bohu and Qiuxiang walked up and down the stage, pretending to chat, and the attendants followed behind, holding a large light bulb in their hands, playing "Love" on the guitar to the background) Romance)

Narration: When Tang Bohu saw Qiuxiang, he suddenly felt enlightened. His waist was no longer sore, his legs were no longer painful, and he even felt more energetic about proposing.

Qiuxiang: Master, my home has arrived.

Bohu: What a coincidence, it’s time to say goodbye again. Please keep in touch in the future. Be sure to send me text messages. I am an M-Zone user, and I have the final say on my territory!

Qiuxiang: I am a China Unicom user, and it is covered both above and below ground! See you later.

(Under Qiuxiang, Bohu was still dazed, looking at the direction Qiuxiang was leaving)

Follower: Sister Qiuxiang turned around.

Bohu: Tyson switched to table tennis.

Follower: Sister Qiuxiang turns around.

Bohu: Yang Guo fell in love with Li Mochou.

Follower: Sister Qiuxiang looks back three times.

Bohu: The monk uses Rejoice from now on. Hey, you kid is kidding me!

(Part 2)

Narration: A few days later, the Qiuxiang Mansion will choose a son-in-law for Qiuxiang. As for the applicants, there are still many.

(Qiu Xiang and Qiu Mu are the same as above)

Qiu Mu: Then how can it be called a lot.

Qiuxiang: That’s quite a lot. Mommy, what kind of question do you think we will give today to make things difficult for the applicants?

Qiu Mu: Hahahahaha, it smells good. You don’t have to worry about that. Being a mother has her own tricks.

(Tang and his attendants enter)

Attendant: Master, I just went to the scene to take a look, and I saw that the stage was completely dark. Only the hair was visible, and even the head was not visible. There are quite a lot of wires in Qiuxiang!

Bohu: What is iron wire?

Follower: I’m a die-hard fan, but I’m so uneducated! I heard that Qiuxiang’s mother is very fierce. (Qiuxiang’s mother is showing her muscles from behind) The people chasing Qiuxiang have either broken arms or missing legs, and even some (using their hands as knives, gesturing at Bohu’s body).

Bohu: Hehehehe, it seems like we have to use some tricks today. Let’s go together. You go first, and then I’ll go. This is called contrasting good with difference, making the good even more prominent.

Follower: This is unfair, it's unfair.

Bohu: Wow, are you mistaken? I am your boss, you should listen to me. This is called comparison. After it's done, I'll invite you to dinner on the fifth floor of Wanxiu Garden!

Follower: Hey, I’ve never been to this place, so okay, I’ll sacrifice it for you. Take good care of my seventh uncle, then I will learn from Fan Wei, I will be stupid.

Qiuxiang: No. 38!

(The follower came to Qiu’s mother, giggled, and Qiu’s mother walked around the follower)

Qiuxiang: Do you have the IQ to apply?

Follower: I...what is IQ?

Qiu Mu: Even if I tell you, you don’t understand.

Follow: You... tell me the password... and I can use it.

Qiu Mu: I tell you...you can't use it either.

Follower: You...

Qiu Mu: Forget it, talking to you is too troublesome.

Please listen to the question (stretch your left arm forward and make a fist). What are the contents of the "Eight Honors and Eight Disgraces"?

Follower: What are the "Eight Honors and Eight Disgraces"?

Qiu Mu: Then tell me about the three representatives.

Follower: Three representatives, eight honors and eight disgraces, three? eight?

Qiu Mu: Bagoyalu, you dare to apply for the job even with your qualifications, go back!

Follower: Hey, madam, isn’t this a little joke? Listen carefully, (takes out Allegro) The east is red, the sun is rising, the motherland is taking off like a giant dragon; the urban and rural economy is developing and harmonious The society is happy and harmonious. National unity is like a rock, and we must persist in reunifying the motherland; loving the motherland is the most glorious, and harming the motherland is the most shameful. Love the motherland and the people, and serve others with enthusiasm; do more good deeds for the collective and always show love to the society. Serving the people is the most glorious, and betraying the people is the most shameful. Get rid of superstition and stop heresy, and persist in seeking true knowledge since childhood; advocating science is the most glorious, and ignorance is the most shameful. Classmates should be kind to each other, just like sisters and brothers; everyone helps when encountering difficulties, and works together when there are difficulties. The most glorious thing is to unite and help each other, and the most shameful thing is to benefit oneself at the expense of others. It is the most honorable thing to be honest and trustworthy, but it is the most shameful thing to forget justice when you see profit. In school, observe discipline and keep the student code in mind; learn laws and abide by laws and disciplines, and contribute to a legal society. Violations of disciplines must be dealt with, and violations of the law must be punished; obeying the law is the most honorable, breaking the law and violating the disciplines is the most shameful. Hard work is a tradition, don’t relax in diligence and frugality; develop good habits from an early age, and keep serving the country in mind when you grow up. Extravagance and waste should be resisted, and greed for enjoyment should be prohibited; hard work is the most glorious, and arrogance and debauchery are the most shameful. Madam, how are you?

Qiu Mu: Okay, it’s you!

Follower: Hey, Master, Master, you want me.

Tang: Hey, kid, didn’t I make you behave badly? Why are you performing so well? Bohu is very angry and the consequences will be serious. (Stomping feet)

Follower: Are you numb?

Tang: I feel numb.

Qiuxiang: Mom, why is she numb?

Qiu Mu: Nonsense, even if you stamp on it, you will be numb! It's okay, just take two steps!

Tang: Why don't you go? I'm here. If you have any questions, just come over!

Qiu Mu: I heard that you, Tang Bohu, are extremely talented and knowledgeable, both ancient and modern. I want to test you and tell you the next sentence of "山外青山楼外楼".

Tang: When does the singing and dancing in West Lake stop?

Qiu Mu: The total length of the English Channel is...

Tang: 35 kilometers.

Qiu Mu: A frog has one mouth, two eyes, and four legs. What about the 243 frogs?

Tang: 243 frogs with 243 mouths, 486 eyes, and 972 legs.

Qiu Mu: Which ancient Chinese runner was the fastest?

Tang: Cao Cao.

Follower: Master, why?

Tang: Just talk about Cao Cao and Cao Cao!

Qiu Mu: It’s no good for a man to know too much. However, I can test whether you are a good family man. Then tell me how to make steamed pork with rice flour.

Tang: Rice noodles... rice noodles... steamed pork with rice flour? Fortunately, I love to eat, so listen up. We can mix sugar, salt, and starch, and add some Sanhuang cooking wine. Three spoonfuls of green onion and ginger noodles, mince the garlic, add the pork to cool it down, then steam it over the fire. (Quickly speaking)

Qiu Mu: Pretty face, unsteady at first glance, not my type. You go back.

Qiuxiang: Mom, you haven’t asked about the eight honors and eight shames yet.

Qiu Mu: Well, let me give you another chance to talk about the "Eight Honors and Eight Disgraces".

Tang: Hahahaha, luckily I was prepared, comeonbaby! (The following is a performance with the follower while doing the moves)

I take one shot, I take one shot, eight honors and eight shames Remember;

If you shoot two, I will shoot two. If you harm the motherland, you will be cast aside;

If you shoot three, I will shoot three. Serve the people and keep it in mind;

You Shoot four, I shoot four, you are a big ignorant idiot;

You shoot five, I shoot five, you are a lazy and indolent little fat pig;

You shoot six, I shoot six, you are so shy to benefit yourself at the expense of others ;

You shoot seven, I shoot seven, advocating science is the first;

You shoot eight, I shoot eight, if you violate laws and disciplines, you must be arrested;

You shoot nine, I shoot nine, arrogance and lewdness are bastards;

You shoot ten, I shoot ten, knowing shame and humiliation will not change! Am I the son-in-law of Chenglong? (The attendant supports Bohu, who opens his arms and faces Qiu Mu)

Qiu Mu: Get out! childish! Get down here! Besides, she looks a little bit ugly, so it’s okay for her to be like a flower in our house.

Tang: Terrible! (fainted and was helped down by the attendant)

(Qiuxiang pulled Qiu Mu’s arm like she was angry)

Qiu Mu: First love , don’t understand love at all, next one!

Narration: But Bohu and Qiuxiang fell in love at first sight. That love was like a surging river, continuous, and it felt like being hit by Cupid twice. Qiu's mother put Qiuxiang under house arrest and prevented her from seeing Bohu. Qiuxiang cried all day long. (Qiu Xiang and Qiu Mu performed the actions of being locked up)

(Qiu Xiang cried loudly, Bohu, the follower, Qiu Mu pretended to be asleep in the middle of the stage)

Bohu: No. , I want to save her, I seem to hear her miserable cry.

Follower: Oh, is Sister Qiuxiang crying that loud?

Bohu: You don’t understand.

Follower: I heard that Qiuxiang’s mother is unreasonable. What to do if she fails?

Bohu (facing the audience): Failure is just a psychological state, and the rest is nothing. For the children who failed the college entrance examination in front of the TV, Bohu tells you from personal experience that if the heart is there, the dream is there, and all continents lead to Qiuxiang's home. Big deal, start all over again!

Follower: Master, if you say that, then you are truly a man.

Bohu: Don’t mess with that useless thing. Take good care of my seventh uncle and his third niece. I’ll go too!

Narration: Tang Bohu risked being surrounded by three evil men, stole Qiu Mu's key, and came to Qiu Xiang's door.

Bohu: Qiuxiang, Bohu comes to your door, please open your eyes and see how pitiful I am. Can you and I today repeat yesterday's story? Can my broken phone still receive your messages? well? Why is there no movement? Sister Qiuxiang, you couldn't have committed suicide, right? (Smashing the door)

Qiuxiang: Wait, who is outside? The secret code is that the earthquake in Gaogang is a group of Xishan that will show through the ages.

Bohu: The gate exceeds the sea and the three rivers flow for thousands of years.

Qiuxiang: Rigorous academic style.

Bohu: Advocate practice!

Qiuxiang: Tiger, it’s you!

Bohu: (The soundtrack is playing "dyinginthesun" or the theme song of "Schindler's List" on the flute) Xiang, it's me! Sister Qiuxiang, our relationship is actually destined. There was once a sincere relationship in front of me, but I did not cherish it. I regret it until today. If God gives me another chance, I will The little girl said, I care about you. If I have to give you an accurate answer on this relationship, I hope it will last for many years! Only after I learned Taylor's formula did I know what trouble is; only after I learned Fourier series did I know what trouble is; only after I met you did I know what it means to be with someone forever. The autumn wind blows on my face, and the fluttering fallen leaves make me miss you all the time. The waves hit my heart painfully, sea, if we can never meet again. Then please devour me and let today become our eternal memory in the future.

Qiu Mu: Oh my God, it’s so touching.

Bohu, you are such a pure man! Well, it seems that you can stand the test, and I agree that you two can be together. I choose (male voice), I like it. (Female voice, pointing to face, making a shy gesture)

Bohu: Heaven, earth, which angel aunt opened her eyes! Xiaoqiang (the turtle picks up the prop), you finally have a mistress! (Running after Qiuxiang)

Qiuxiang: Oh, my Lord!

(Everyone comes together)

Narration: Later, Tang Bohu and Qiuxiang lived a happy life.

Qiu Mu: How can we call it perfect and happy?

Everyone: That is quite happy!

Narration: Okay, audience friends, our program for today is over. The topic of our prize-winning quiz today is, what is Tang Bohu’s last name? Friends who know can send text messages to...

Viewer request: Surname is Tang!

Narration: Congratulations, you are all ready to answer. The prize for our guess today is...

Qiu Mu: A signed photo of me.

(Everyone felt disgusted)

Narrator: Audience friends, we will meet again at the same time tomorrow!

Wulin Gaiden Gaiden

Huilan (with a serious expression and disdain): Li Dazui, if you don’t have two thousand taels of silver, you can never marry me! (Turns around and leaves)

Big Mouth (Wants to chase, but has no choice but to walk away): Huilan, Huilan, wait...

Current opening

Scene 1: Early morning. Inside Tongfu Inn. The scholar used the computer to settle accounts, and Xiao Guo swept the floor with a broom.

Xiucai (clicking the mouse while shaking his head and reciting): It is strange, strange, really strange that there is a computer in the world. With just a click of the mouse, there is no need to worry about the balance of payments. (jumping high with joy)

Xiaomi (walking into the inn holding a newspaper): Tabloids, the top news!

Big Mouth (heard, ran out): What is that? What's new here?

Xiaomi (following Dazui out of the inn, reading the newspaper): Sweeping across the Xiliang River, popular in Qixia Town, more atypical than bird flu (Dazui was surprised) online game - Wulin Gaiden , start public beta.

Big Mouth (with a look of disdain): Oh my god, what am I thinking about? Is it okay to just break the game?

Xiao Guo (sweeping over the ground, pointing to millet): Left foot, right foot, stick!

Xiaomi (scrolls and walks away): Oh, beggars also have dignity, if they don’t want to make money, they will pull them down!

Big Mouth (turns around quickly and chases away): How can games still make money?

Xiaomi (came closer mysteriously): According to reliable sources, the online game "Wulin Gaiden" will have a nationwide PK in 30 days. The preliminary competition will be held in our Qixia Town. If you win the prize in the final, the bonus will be this number! (Hold up two fingers)

Big Mouth: 20 taels?

Xiaomi: Two thousand taels!

Big Mouth (imagined): Oh my god (Leng), if I have two thousand taels of silver, I can marry Huilan... I, I will practice right now! (Run down)

Millet (knock a broken bowl down)

Second game: Morning. Inside the inn. The scholar and Xiao Guo Zheng chatted with each other. Big Mouth is learning to touch the computer in front of the counter.

Xiucai: Fu Mei...

Xiao Guo: Brother Hou...

Xiucai: Fu Mei...

Big Mouth: Scholar, let me play with your computer!

Xiu Cai didn’t hear it and continued to linger with Xiao Guo. Big Mouth took the computer and started playing games. Lao Bai came back from outside.

Lao Bai (standing behind Big Mouth): What are you staring at? Where are the beauties?

Big Mouth: Do you want to see beautiful women use this? Just look at my Huilan and that's it.

Lao Bai (asking while pouring water): So what is this?

Big Mouth: I am playing a game here, "Wulin Gaiden".

Lao Bai (squirted out a mouthful of water): Oh my god, Wulin Gaiden has an online game? !

At this time, Xiangyu went downstairs and saw Xiao Guo and Xiucai.

Xiangyu: Construction has started!

Xiao Guo: Really, I just rested for a short while!

Xiao Guo walked to the table and saw Dazui using the computer. He went over curiously (looking around).

Xiao Guo: Huh? Big mouth, what are you playing?

Big Mouth: Wulin Gaiden.

Xiao Guo: Shall I turn outside? (Transfer out)

Big Mouth: What’s your hearing? I'm so anxious that my forehead is sweating! It’s Wu-Lin Wai-Zhuan!

Xiao Guo (grievedly): Just turn out! What are you shouting about? (walk away)

Scene 3: Noon. Inside the inn.

Xiang Yu: Scholar, show me the accounts for the past two days.

Xiucai: Account, the so-called account, Zi once said...

Xiang Yu: Farewell, pay the account!

Xiucai (pointing nervously to the room): The shopkeeper’s...computer...big mouth...online games...account...

Xiangyu: Are you sure and...

Xiao Guo: And definitely.

Xiucai: I do not deny the veto and denial.

Xiang Yu walked into the house, followed closely by scholar Xiao Guo. Big Mouth is fighting fiercely.

Xiucai (whispering): Dazui...

Dazui (impatient): If you have something to say, say it quickly, and if you have anything else, say it quickly.

Xiucai: The shopkeeper... (After speaking, he stepped aside)

Xiangyu: Li Dazui, do you still want us to eat?

Big Mouth: Shopkeeper, please wait a moment, I will upgrade immediately.

Xiang Yu (angrily): Raw chicken? Still raw duck?

At this time Lao Bai came in.

Xiao Guo: Oh, shopkeeper, just let Big Mouth play for a while. You see, it’s the 21st century, trains have been changed to the initial D, and big mouths are no longer allowed to chat with girls online?

Xiang Yu (glaring at Xiao Guo): Xiao Guo, little Grasshopper, hurry up and sweep the floor!

Lao Xingjin.

Lao Xing: How is everyone? (Seeing Big Mouth not moving) What happened to Big Mouth today? Why don't you get tired of moving? It will affect the appearance of the city. My dear mother, wouldn’t she ask Lao Bai to give me some?

Xiangyu: Zhantang, when did you order him?

Lao Bai: I never clicked on him.

At this time, just listen to the mouse sound "Kaden Kaden". The group of people looked at each other.

Lao Xing: There is murderous intent.

Lao Bai: Is it the legendary "digging acupuncture points through the air"?

Xiang Yu: Apart from your mother and Gongsun Wulong, there is no other person who can do this "distance acupuncture". Gongsun Wulong is dead and your mother is far away in the capital. What is going on?

Xiao Guo (trembling): Could it be Gongsun Oolong’s ghost seeking revenge...

Xiucai: Don’t be afraid of Fu Mei, I will protect you...

Lao Xing (showing his sword, the guest ran away): Who is here? Tell me your name and give me a reason to exist!

Xiangyu (Chasing): Silver~~~

Big Mouth: Are those two holes in your head just for venting your anger? Isn't this the sound of a mouse?

Everyone is enlightened. They were relieved.

Xiang Yu (throwing the rag and pointing at Dazui): Li Dazui, are you done? I haven’t cooked for a day and this restaurant can still be opened? Don't treat me like a HELLOKITTY if you don't show off your power!

The big mouth doesn’t move. He looked confused.

Xiao Guo: Starve to death, starve to death, starve to death!

Lao Bai, Xiucai, Xiao Guo (Lao Bai takes the lead in singing, Xiu Cai Xiao Guo adds vocals): Kang Sang Ah Mi Da MUSIC~~~ (snaps fingers) holding Wo Wo Tou in hand~~~Wo Wo Tou~ ~~There is not a drop of oil in the dish~~~A drop of oil~~~

Scene 4: Early morning. Everyone is discussing in the kitchen. Make a circle.

Xiang Yu: Big mouth can’t go on like this. If you have any ideas, please tell me. If it works, the monthly payment will be increased by one or two.

Xiao Guo: Really?

Xiang Yu: If the method fails, two taels will be deducted and the toilet will be flushed for a week.

At this time Wushuang, Lao Xing and Xiaoliu arrived.

Xiang Yu (about to cry): Lao Xing, Xiaoliu, Wushuang~~~

Lao Xing (supporting Xiang Yu): Where is the scene? Where is the body? Personal and physical evidence, temporary residence permit? !

Wushuang (raises hand): Shopkeeper, I have a way, it’s very effective!

Lao Xing (gesture): I’m optimistic about you!

Unparalleled entry. I saw Big Mouth playing and pouring water from a pot.

Wushuang (immediately holding down his big mouth): Let me go! (After pouring the water, hand it to Dazui, who drinks it and continues)

Wushuang: Brother Dazui, look at your clothes. They are all torn. Let me mend them quickly. (Pulls the clothes, Dazui pulls back)

Wushuang: Brother Dazui, are you hungry after playing for two days and two nights? I'll heat up some steamed buns for you! (Gives the bun to Dazui, who grabs it and gnaws it. Continue. Wushuang sees Dazui ignoring her, with tears in his eyes)

Dazui (raises head): If you have nothing to do, just leave. Don’t Delaying my game play.

Wushuang threw down the bowl, shook it and walked away.

Big Mouth: Jianghu does not believe in tears.

Old Xing Xiaoliu entered the house.

Xiao Liu: Who dares to bully Wushuang? Wushuang is the one who arrests me!

Lao Xing: Look at what you are like now. Are you worthy of your father and your mother? Are you worthy of the Young Pioneers who organized the people to fight against the Communist Party? Or are you worthy of the national pig farm?

Xiao Liu: What’s your surname? Where did you come from? How many people in the family? How many acres of land per capita? How many cows? Talk~~~ Talk, talk, talk (Big Mouth didn’t respond, Xiao Liu draws his sword) Take good care of my seventh uncle and my third niece! (Put the knife on Big Mouth's neck)

Big Mouth: If you have the ability, just chop. Come on, come on. If you have the guts, do it.

Xiao Liu (waving his knife wildly): Oooh~~~Master, my finger is broken...

Xiao Liu crossed his eyes and was bleeding, so Lao Xing dragged Xiao Liu out.

The scholar entered the house. Sit next to Big Mouth.

Scholar: Confucius once said: Wealth and honor cannot be promiscuous, poverty and lowliness cannot be moved, and power cannot bend. Tobeornottobe,itsaquestion. The most precious thing for a person is life, and a person only has one life...

Big Mouth: Get away as far as your thoughts go! (Kicked, the scholar rolled and crawled out)

Xiao Guo entered the room.

Xiao Guo: Hey, hey, big-mouthed Mr. Li Xiulian, what are you doing, what are you doing? See how you kicked Brother Hou into such a state, with a bruised nose, swollen face, crooked eyes, slanted back, sore back, leg cramps, difficulty walking, and sweating. Do you have any humanity at all?

Big Mouth (Nunchuck): Whatever should be done, I will open the Ren and Du channels!

Xiao Guo: Li Dazui - overwhelming -!

Big Mouth (holding up a black iron kitchen knife): Guo Furong——

Xiao Guo: Hi Luo Hi Luo Hi~~~

Big mouth continues, Xiao Guo Guo squatted down holding his head.

Xiao Guo: Laobai, Laobai, Laobai!

Lao Bai entered the house.

Old Bai: What are you doing, what are you doing, put the knife down! Big mouth, I eat more salt than you eat rice!

Big Mouth: That’s because you have a heavy mouth.

Old Bai: I have crossed more bridges than you have walked!

Big Mouth: That’s because I’m too lazy to move!

Lao Bai (singing): How can I bear to blame you for making a mistake? I went too far in giving you freedom...

Big Mouth: Lao Bai, you still understand me!

Xiang Yu (throwing the rag and about to cry): Oh my god, this store can’t be opened!

Scholar: ONETWOTHREEACTION!

Xiang Yu: Hungry should not have married to this place from the beginning. If Hungry had not married to this place, Hungry’s husband would not have died. If Hungry’s husband had not died, Hungry would not have fallen into this trap. This miserable situation...

Scene 5: Afternoon. inside the house. Beckham comes back from playing.

Xiao Bei: Uncle Big Mouth, you still owe me a bunch of candied haws!

Big Mouth: Xiaobei will play with it by himself first, and my uncle will buy it for you later when he has time, ah!

Xiao Bei: How long have you owed me? You don’t know much about computers, why are you pretending to be a scholar? Learn from others and grow white hair!

Big Mouth: Little brat, didn’t you see that your uncle Big Mouth is playing online games here?

Xiao Bei: No matter how you play, you are still a rookie. I just read Xiaomi’s tabloid. If there are Pinggu Yidianhong and Taishan Shigan, you will definitely not get the bonus. Buy me candied haws quickly! (Unplug the power)

Big Mouth: Hey, this unlucky kid!

Xiao Bei: I want candied haws!

Big Mouth: Move over! (I wanted to plug in the power, but I raised my hand and knocked down the chair, and the chair hit Xiaobei)

Xiaobei: Sister-in-law~~~~Bullying me with a big mouth~~~~

Xiang Yu heard the sound and rushed over, but Xiaobei fell to the ground.

Xiao Bei: (Howl) Sister-in-law~~~ (Speak seriously) I asked uncle Big Mouth for candied haws, but he ignored me. I unplugged the computer, and he hit me with a chair. My arm hurts~~~~ (wolf howling) Sister-in-law~~~~~

Xiangyu: Li Dazui! How dare you hit Xiaobei for a broken game!

Big Mouth: The shopkeeper, I am not...

Xiang Yu: What not! Use excuses to change concepts! Starting today, three months' monthly payment will be withheld, the May 11th holiday will be cancelled, and Xiaobei's medical expenses and pocket money will all be paid by you!

Big Mouth: Bei, uncle didn’t mean it, he just wanted to earn two thousand taels of silver!

Old Bai: Da Zui, you wake up early and play online games until late at night. You are so tired that you don’t even cook for two thousand taels of silver. Where can you find it? What are you trying to do? Do you think Huilan can do it like this? Marry you?

Xiaomi (holding a tabloid): Tabloid in the world, the number one news source. Due to poor management of Wulin Gaiden, the stock price dropped and the game was canceled. People in the world switched to playing World of Warcraft. After 30 days, there will be a nationwide PK with a bonus of 20,000 taels!

Big Mouth (stunned, fainted, holding a kitchen knife): Shopkeeper, I’d better cook.