English speech essay

Haha, if you want this, you have found the right person. I have a large collection.

1) A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He said, "God, what is a million dollars to you?" God said, "a penny", and then the man said, "God, what is a million years to you?" God said, "One second", and then the man said, "God, can I have a penny?" God said "at once"

A man walks into a church and talks to God. He asked, "Lord, what does a million dollars mean to you?" God replied, "A penny." The man asked, "What about a million years?" God said, "One second." Finally, the man asked, "God, can I have a penny?" God replied, "Right away."

Once, two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down accidentally. He rolled his eyes and seemed to stop breathing. Another hunter quickly took out his mobile phone and called the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly, "First of all, you should make sure that he is dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone, and then he heard the hunter ask, "What should I do next?"

Two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them accidentally fell down and his eyes turned white, as if he had stopped breathing. Another hunter quickly took out his mobile phone and dialed the emergency number. The operator said calmly, "The first step is to make sure that your friend is dead." So, the operator heard a gunshot on the phone, and then heard the hunter ask, "What's the second step?"

3) Jokes in English class

1. Teacher: George, find North America before you go to the map.

George: Here it is!

Teacher: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?

Students: George!

Teacher: Allen, give me a sentence that begins with "I".

Ellen: I am. ...

Teacher: No, Allen. We always say, "I am."

Ellen: OK ... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

3. Teacher: If I have seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what will I have?

Class: Big hands!

4. Teacher: Didn't you promise to behave yourself?

Student: Yes, sir.

Teacher: Didn't I promise to punish you if you don't listen?

Student: Yes, sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to keep it.

5. Teacher: In this box, I have a snake 10 feet long.

Sammy: You can't fool me, teacher ... snakes have no feet.

Yesterday, a foreigner walked into the office. The receptionist looked around. Everyone is playing games. Only in their spare time do they smile: "Hello?"

Foreigner: "Hi."

Receptionist: "What can I do for you?"

Foreigner: "Can you speak English?"

Receptionist: "If I don't speak English, what am I talking about?"

Foreigner: "Can anyone speak English?"

Receptionist: "Look for yourself. Everyone is playing, no one has time, you can wait, you don't wait, you go. "

Foreigner: "Good heavens. Does anyone here speak English? "

Receptionist: "What are you yelling about? Be quiet. What's the matter with you?"

Foreigner: "I want to talk to your head."

Receptionist: "The head is not here. Come tomorrow. "

Ok, that's all for the time being, I think it's enough for you:)