Laugh crazy joke: ridiculous all day.

Chongqing traffic police stopped a motorcyclist and asked the driver to show his certificate.

The driver said: they are all from Chongqing. Dude, give me face. I forgot my notebook. My family is fighting in Ledian.

The traffic police said: Leave me alone, you are not from Chongqing.

The driver asked, you know I'm not from Chongqing.

The traffic police said, you must admit, wait until I stop a Chongqing one to show you.

At this time, a young man came by on a motorcycle, and the traffic police waved and stopped the car! As a result, the motorcycle flew by, and a word came from far away with the wind: you are a group! Come and get me!

The traffic police turned to the driver just now and said, see? Shit, it's Chongqing! Your baby is from Chengdu at first sight.

CCTV reporter asked the survivors: Is there a hammer in the car?

Survivor: There is a hammer!

Reporter: Why not use it to smash the window?

Survivor: Maud, there is a hammer! Hammer!

CCTV reporter: Is there a hammer?

Survivor: There is a hammer!

Reporter: Then why not use it to smash the window?

Survivor: Knock on the hammer window!

CCTV reporter: It's knocking on the window, not a hammer.

Survivor: Then you say hammer!

CCTV reporter: I said the window.

Survivor: Hammer!

CCTV reporter:. . . . . .

CCTV reporter asked the survivors: Is there a hammer in the car?

Survivor: There is a hammer!

Reporter: Why not use it to smash the window?

Survivor Mao: Mod, there is a hammer! Hammer!

CCTV reporter: Is there a hammer?

Survivor: No, there is a shovel.

Reporter: Is there a hammer or shovel in the car?

Survivor: Shovel with hammer.

-

Thanks to my brother for the original in the comments section.

It is said that after a TV station caught fire on a bus in Chengdu, a reporter had a conversation when asked if the bus was equipped with window glass and hammer.

Reporter: "Excuse me, big brother, did you find the hammer in the car before or after the injury?"

The wounded: "A hammer and a shovel."

"You mean, the car is equipped with a shovel?"

"A shovel with a hammer."

"You mean equipped with a hammer and a shovel?"

"There is a hammer and a shovel."

"You mean some hammers have shovels?"

"Hammer with shovel has shovel."

"You mean some hammers can be used as shovels and some shovels can be used as hammers?"

"Oh, let me make it clear to you. There are hammers and shovels, shovels and hammers. "

"......."

(Facing the audience) "I'm a reporter from XX TV. Judging from the feedback from the masses, the car is equipped with a hammer, but it is equipped with a shovel. The shovel should not be equipped and can be used as a hammer. This is a serious violation of relevant regulations. Please pay attention to the relevant departments: the hammer should not be equipped with a shovel, and the shovel that should not be equipped should not be brought to the car as a hammer at all. Thank you. "

The word "fuck" in Yunnan-Guizhou dialect means scolding.

A Yunnan girl said that she had just arrived in Beijing to go to college and was scolded by her teacher within a few days. She angrily changed her signature to "Today, she was fucked by Miss Wang! Want to die! " I went to bed. There are many missed calls when I wake up in the morning. It turns out that my classmate saw this signature. I couldn't contact her, thinking that she was innocent and committed suicide, so I complained to the student affairs office and the school looked for her all night.

Teacher Wang is very depressed.

She called a classmate first, and that classmate was angry. "Did Teacher Wang fuck you yesterday?"

She didn't think it necessary to be so angry. It's not normal to be scolded, so she said, "It's okay. My father often fucks me."

classmate ...