I want some longer jokes that I can tell in class and at least make others laugh~

1. Correct typos

The teacher saw a colleague graffiti on the toilet wall and asked in surprise: "Why do you do such a thing?"

Colleague: "Oh, no, I'm correcting my classmate's typo."

2. Show it to us

On this day, the teacher, as usual, faced the noisy class He yelled: "No, no, please! Please be quiet, please." No one in the class paid any attention to him... The teacher got angry, shook his head and left, preparing to go to the principal. Complain.

When the principal and the teacher returned to the classroom angrily and were about to curse, they unexpectedly found their classmates sitting quietly

.... . "What's the matter?! How come everyone has become so good?" (The teacher secretly rejoiced in disbelief!!)

"Did something happen?" (A complete silence) "Come on, monitor!" Say it!" The monitor stood up embarrassedly,

lowered his head and muttered: "Old...teacher, say...speak, if one day you enter the classroom and find that the whole class is very confused. Quietly

If you say... you will die for us!!!!』

3. About 1+1=2

Analogy Teacher: (recording) 1+1 is obviously not equal to 3, and it is obviously not equal to 4, ah, sneeze, sorry,

It is also obviously not equal to 5, so the answer must be 3, sorry, it is 2... Go back and do this question ten times.

Reading teacher: What is 1+1? How much is it? …we don’t know. This question is very difficult! This question is the most difficult of all the questions

. If I gave you the correct answer and asked you to think about it for three days and three nights, you wouldn't understand it. What should I do? …

In fact, this question can be guessed completely, believe it or not? First of all, is 1+1 bigger or smaller than three? According to common sense 1 + 1 is obviously not too big, so we exclude options larger than three and look at the first three options first.

Is 1+1 equal to one, two, or three? Here comes the skill, here comes the skill. According to my problem-solving method

Have you read the third sub-item of Article 108 before doing the problem every time? "When using the elimination method, remove the most

extreme options." Which of the remaining three options in this question should we exclude? Excluding one and three, the remaining two is the correct answer... It's that simple, it's that simple. This is what I did when I did the questions. If you haven't understood it yet, just memorize this question and pass it.

Antonym teacher: What is 1+1? Well, there was a movie in Hollywood in the 1950s called One Plus One.

I watched this movie in the lecture hall of Peking University. It was almost time for the final exam and not many people watched it, so I found the best movie. Good

seats. The person in front of me was a very beautiful girl... The movie was about the son of an Arab oil tycoon who fell in love with the daughter of a Guatemalan farmer. The story goes like this... …Let’s take a look at this question. (Take a deep breath) One means one. Three means three. Four means four.

Five means five. The correct answer is two. It’s two…. Some students said that I spoke too fast.

There is nothing I can do about it. Please move your wrists to keep up with my speed before class. Logic teacher: This question is very boring,

I am too lazy to talk about it.

4. Fire!

One day while doing experiments in the laboratory... Suddenly he looked up... Is it strange that there is thick smoke coming out of the window?

Senior said wow! Oops, I rushed out of the door immediately...

After a while, the senior came back from outside with a helpless expression... We

asked anxiously: What happened? As a result, the senior replied expressionlessly: Someone is starting the car! !

5. Very simple

The district captain comes from rural Hebei and is very simple. In the military academy, all our words and deeds must comply with various regulations.

According to regulations, the squadron has a book to record non-members who come to the squadron. One day, a common man came to see us

The district captain. So, the duty officer neatly wrote down: On x month x day, one hundred people came to see the captain of the second district... In the afternoon,

when the whole squadron was waiting outside the door to gather and go out, a classmate from the football department accidentally picked up the book and read: x month x day, 100

Girls come here Second District Captain…. Our district captain's mouth remained open for three full minutes. And naturally we also….

6. Skydiving

After the first class, the instructor of the skydiving modeling school asked the students if they had any questions. "How much do we have to pay for each jump?" One student asked, "10$!" Another student looked a little nervous and stood up and asked:

"What if I skydive?" What should I do if the parachute cannot open? "Don't worry, we will refund the money to you if the parachute cannot open."

7. Privatization

At noon today, my friend was sitting next to me reviewing "Social Construction" and suddenly pointed to a page and asked me, if China engages in privatization

What does it mean to become a capitalist country? We pondered for a while but couldn't figure it out. I had to look down.

Oh! It turns out that the next page begins with "vassal of."

8. Start the motorcycle? !

One time I was in English class, and there were sounds of motorcycles starting outside. The sound lasted for a long time, making people uneasy.

At this time, the teacher noticed everyone's annoyance, shook his head and said, "Chinese motorcycles... Sigh!" After class, we discovered that it was workers logging wood!

9. Fat Pig

A naughty boy nicknamed a girl in the same class Fat Pig. The girl cried and complained to the teacher. The teacher

Promise to criticize and educate the boy. In class the next day, the teacher spoke to the class: There is a classmate in our class who is so rude that he gives other students nicknames at will. You can't just call them whatever they like.

10. Salute

Hey!

Have you ever experienced saluting the wrong way...?

Yes...

For example...to...

Classmates, junior students, soldiers...etc.

There must be countless Bar….

But the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen is Xiang... Postman

Once my classmates and I came back from the restaurant to the hotel together

The classmate next to me was too...

So I turned to North Korea The postman who came with us

paid his highest respect

and said... Hello, sir….

Suddenly the students burst into laughter

And there was a sound from behind

Junior... Playing tricks!

11. Pervert

In Tainan, I used to go shopping for snacks in the middle of the night. Once, at around 1 a.m., I went to Shengli Road to buy food, and on the way back to my residence by bicycle,

A strange man riding a motorcycle followed me and said:

"Miss, can I treat you to a midnight snack?" 〃 (Isn’t what I’m holding food for food?) I smiled and didn’t answer.

〃Miss, don’t be like this, make a friend! 〃(I'm so scared!)

〃Miss, I seem to know you? Are you from the corporate management department? 〃(Wow~~~)

He was followed to the door of my residence like this, and he quickly asked others to come and see him——a blind pervert!

He still doesn’t know that I am a man. Alas, three seconds of silence for him~~~

12. How can ants see it?

Speaking of...the summer when a typhoon passes through.

Unintentionally, many ants taking refuge were suddenly stationed in the dormitory...

Senior sister: Senior sister is so scary! How terrible! My sugar has ants all over it...

School girl: Then seal it tighter

The next day...

Senior sister: Senior sister! How terrible! How terrible! Ants are so powerful!

I put yesterday’s sugar on the cabinet

So high! How can ants see………….

School girl:………………