wedding and funeral customs

People in Binxian pay attention to thick burial, and there is a saying that "thick burial is half-clan". The thicker the funeral, the filial piety of children and grandchildren can be shown. Due to excessive extravagance and huge economic burden, there are sayings that "the father is worried about his son and wife" and "the son is worried about his father's burial".

1, prefabricated coffin, early burial suit. When my parents were over 500, they began to make coffins and sew burial clothes. Wood pays attention to Chinese fir, oak, pine, cypress and jujube, and cloth pays attention to silk and satin. Craftsmen will be meticulous and exquisite. Styles include: three circles, four sides, vertical pile roll cover, heavy bottom cover, brown spring planting, female carving and male carving, and painted paint. After the coffin is finished, there should be delicacies, chicken, duck, fish and famous tea and wine at the banquet and work, which mainly shows the filial piety of the younger generation. "Making firewood" is as grand as a birthday, and friends and relatives bring gifts to celebrate each other, ranging from dozens to hundreds.

Generally, there are 5-7 sets of mourning clothes, including men's robes and jackets and women's long skirts. Daughters or daughters-in-law should sew mourning clothes.

2, superstitious feng shui, choose a cemetery. After his parents died, he should immediately ask the so-called Mr. Feng Shui to choose a cemetery, where he can become a king and where he can prosper and suffer. All matters such as libation and burial are subject to Mr. Feng Shui's instructions. The burial clothes before the coffin was covered should have been seen by my uncle and her family.

3. Children and grandchildren wake up and cry. Parents are dying, and their descendants and relatives should listen to the last words and dare not stay away. After death, they will wake up and cry until they are buried. Within seven days after death, relatives within five generations are forbidden to break into other people's homes, otherwise it will bring bad luck to others.

4. Show the obituary and prepare for the funeral. The cemetery and burial date are entirely decided by Mr. Feng Shui. He wrote the obituary, which clearly stated the date of birth and death and life story of the deceased, as well as the names of his filial sons and grandchildren within five generations, and posted it outside the gate. If there are great-grandchildren, but there is no Dai Xiao, they will wear red tulle to show that the four generations of the deceased live under one roof and the population is prosperous.

To organize the funeral, we must first choose a general manager who has experience in organizing the funeral among relatives and friends, and invite relatives and neighbors to take charge of all logistics matters.

5. Hold a grand condolence ceremony and hold a banquet to entertain guests. A grand memorial service, a grand banquet for guests, is called "libation", usually on the seventh day after death. Publish obituaries in advance so that relatives, friends and neighbors can be prepared to listen. Master kills pigs and sheep, so please call the trumpeter to repair the tomb. On the big "drinking" day, we should respect the rich and humble according to the distance between relatives and friends, or offer pigs and sheep, or give a hukou, or donate silk money or incense paper. If it is an official activity, please invite Hanlin, Jinshi, scholar, scholar, and even people with prestige and official titles such as the Duke of Qing Dynasty, state officials and county magistrates to visit the "Lord" and "God" in person.

On the day of "drinking", there are generally "three rituals", that is, filial sons, grandchildren and nephews are arranged in three phases, and the rituals of eight worships and nine knocks are performed. During the ceremony, the dutiful son was helped by a person to cry.

6. Writing "Mingjing" shows the name of Germany. In order to praise the deceased, the master climbed to fame, and with his rank, please give the deceased a four-word or eight-word compliment and write it on the silk banner with gold powder, which is called "Mingjing". Tie colored paper on it and stand outside the gate, shining.

7. Burn the paper basin and bury it. Before the coffin is buried, the eldest son will break the ash basin for burning paper. The coffin used the official hood of the Dragon Bar. Spirit bearers pay attention to eight lifts, sixteen lifts, and thirty-two lifts, and they advocate. Paper fire comes first, and the mourning team of the dutiful son comes last. All the filial sons and grandsons, Dai Xiao and his men and women, dressed in hemp and white cloth with a few feet pulled over their shoulders, bent down and wept with willow branches, and walked slowly to the cemetery.

On the way through the coffin, the neighbor put firewood in front of the door to prevent the ghost from breaking into his house and bringing bad luck.

After the coffin enters the cave, Mr. Feng Shui will put a compass on the coffin to determine the position of the coffin. And put a lamp bowl and a yeast bowl on the coffin lid.

8. Bury the dead and take them home. The eldest son of the deceased held a stone tablet or portrait of God, accompanied by a drummer, crying while walking, calling his soul back to love. Walking to the door, the memorial tablet or portrait was greeted by the eldest daughter-in-law of the deceased and enshrined at home. Every meal is burned incense and paper in front of the memorial tablet or portrait of the deceased until one hundred days.

9. Carefully pursue the distance and worship for three years. The first year after the death of the old man is the first anniversary, and relatives all come to burn paper. There is generally no ceremony on the second anniversary. The third anniversary, full of clothes and filial piety. Generally speaking, guests will get a drink offering and burning paper at the grave. When he went, the trumpeter greeted the paper sacrifice, and the dutiful son followed him in a white Dai Xiao. After burning paper in front of the grave, he took off his mourning clothes and put on new clothes. At this time, the service period has expired, but after Qingming, cold food and winter solstice, he provided paper sacrifices to the grave.

Secondly, marriage.

Marriage in the old days generally had the following four stages.

1, blind date. Before the formal promotion, the man was introduced. First, he observed and got to know a daughter from behind, and then he was invited to mention it when appropriate. After getting to know this woman again and again, the matchmaker said that the two sides would meet. Generally, the woman comes to the man's house to have a look, which is called "looking at the work". If no one objects, even if she is allowed to kiss.

2, get married and talk about the bride price. On the basis of allowing marriage, the woman wants to see the wedding on her birthday. If there is no conflict, she will propose a bride price. The bride price is very different. Some people don't pay attention to the bride price. Some people covet the bride price. Before 193 1 years ago, many people owned 50 taels of silver or 50 pieces of silver, while a few people owned 10 taels of silver or 30 strings of copper coins. After 193 1 year, the bride price became more and more popular, exceeding 100 silver dollar.

3. Engagement. With the consent of both families, the engagement ceremony will be held on another day. On the day of engagement, the man brought two bottles of wine and snacks to the woman's house by the matchmaker, and made a toast to the hostess before entering the house. If the woman accepts the wine, it will be very harmonious, and then propose a toast again, declaring that you are done. If the woman doesn't accept the wine, she must reconsider. After receiving the wine, the hostess invited her guests to the man's house to sit at the table. The woman must give the man clothes, shoes and socks when she goes. 193 1 years ago, the woman usually went to the man's house on the day of engagement. Later, some women went to the man's house with the matchmaker. After meeting, exchanging gifts is called "changing hands", so that the marriage can be completed.

4. Get married. Ordinary women (15 years old) and men can get married at the age of seventeen or eighteen. The bride price must be delivered to the woman's home one or two months before marriage. In rural areas, there are also women who go to the man's house to receive bride price, which is collectively called "giving money as a gift", and then the two sides respectively carry out the following matters.

First of all, the man received a "Geng Tie" and made a "bureau order". Gengtie went to the government to collect it. In the early stage, it was managed by the county government office, and then handled by the education department of the county department. Its paste is similar to the current marriage certificate, and it will be abolished in 193 1 year. There are two kinds of Gankun stickers, with male and female names, age, animal sign and eight characters, stamped with county seal and name stamp. When the sticker is received, the man and the matchmaker will receive it. The handling fee is a string of copper coins, and then it will be changed into silver dollars. "billing" is that the man privately asks Mr. Yin and Yang to handle it. According to the date of birth, both men and women decide the date of marriage, and post a note explaining how to get lucky and avoid evil, the direction of the bride getting on the sedan chair, getting off the sedan chair and entering the bridal chamber. And give it to the woman at the time of marriage according to her instructions.

Second, the woman added a box as a dowry. The day before a woman's wedding is a day of "adding boxes", and relatives and friends will go home to give gifts, including clothes, washbasins, pollen and jewelry. According to their close relationship, the weight and thickness of the gifts are different, and the woman will hold a banquet. There are two kinds of marriage compensation: one is that the man gives half and the woman adds half; First, the woman voluntarily compensates. There are also different amounts of "wedding money", which the man adds according to the number and is owned and dominated by the bride.

Third, the man gets married and the woman gives it away. On the morning of the wedding, the man is going to get married with a drum music sedan chair. Choose and send a "welcome girl" to accompany a boy, catch a hen (according to the ancient system, it should be a sheep, and later it was replaced by a chicken, which also means good luck), carry a red felt bag, which contains a new set of "age buns" (one year old), Geng stickers and a list, and bring a bag of salt and a bag of mugwort (meaning to wish the newlyweds good luck and love) Leave the mugwort leaves and salt, add one slice to each person, put them together, put them in the rice bowl and take them to the husband's family. When the bride left home, she cried and refused to get on the sedan chair, so the bride's uncle or elder carried her on her back. The sedan chair arrived at the man's door and set off firecrackers. Two women were helped out of the sedan chair. The bride has a red cloth on her head. When entering the door, the woman who picked up the girl put a string of bronze money on her shoulder, a small bucket of grain in her right hand and a pot of water or vinegar in her left hand, and then led it to the red carpet paving the road. The other man took a rose full of grass knots and bonus paper and kept throwing it at the bride, singing while scattering it. What "grass, grass, two lovers, grow old together for a hundred years, give birth to a doll running all over the yard" and so on. After entering the bridal chamber, they took a short break and began to "worship the heavens and the earth". The newlyweds handed in posts and held a "substitute" ceremony. After the ceremony, I sat down to eat. When the woman's guests leave, the man has to pay a "red seal" for the dowry.

Fourth, guests add joy, make trouble in the bridal chamber and wipe their faces. On their wedding night, relatives, friends and the groom's colleagues came to congratulate them on playing with the house. There are many tricks, such as telling jokes, acting, new ideas and difficult topics, which make the newlyweds quite embarrassed, but they are very happy. The next day, the guests came to thank them, and the groom went out to pay his respects. The bride went into the kitchen to perform her cooking skills. Invite the bride's family to have soup in the morning, but the bride's parents won't go. Before the luncheon, all the guests should attend, and the newlyweds should kowtow to the guests one by one and ask the recipients to give money and goods. After the banquet, the artist took advantage of the surprise of the groom's parents and drew a picture on his face, which made people laugh. On the third day, the bride "came back", and her family came to pick her up and sent her back in the afternoon, but for ten days, the newlyweds could not be separated.