Humorous jokes with homophonic Chinese characters

Humorous jokes with homophonic Chinese characters (5 general articles)

Do you know the benefits of learning some jokes? When you meet for the first time, there is always the embarrassment of not knowing what to say. , at this time you need some jokes to lighten the atmosphere. Here I have collected a collection of humorous jokes with homophonic Chinese characters for you. I hope it can be helpful to you!

Humorous Jokes with Chinese Characters Homophony 1

Yunnan

Two Yunnan people went to Beijing. They heard that Beijing roast duck was very famous, so they decided to eat it. As soon as they sat down, one of them said to the waiter: "Go there. Two roast ducks here!" After waiting for a while, they saw the waiter dazzling a roast duck in front of them and then left. One of them couldn't wait any longer, so he called the waiter and asked why he didn't serve it to them. Roast duck, the waiter said: "Didn't you ask me to bring a roast duck for dumpling?"

Note: ("Dumping" means "eating" in Yunnan dialect)

Henan

Lao Dong is from Henan. He came to the south to have breakfast. As soon as he entered the door, he asked: "Miss. How much does it cost to sleep (dumplings) per night (bowl)?" The waiter was very unhappy and asked Said: "No. Only steamed buns." The old Dong said: "Oh, you can also touch the steamed buns." The waiter was extremely angry and scolded: "Rogue!" The old Dong was extremely surprised: "Sixty cents? Too cheap. !" Humorous Jokes with Homophones in Chinese Characters Chapter 2

Sichuan

A certain soldier was captured, and the officer promised to fulfill his three wishes before killing him.

The soldier said I I wanted to have a few words with my horse. The enemy agreed.

The next day, the horse came back with a beautiful woman. The soldier spent the night with the female.

The commander said he still had two wishes, and the soldier said he wanted to have a few words with his horse. The enemy agreed.

The next day, the horse came back and brought back a beautiful woman. The soldier had sex with the beautiful woman again. **Have a good night.

The officer said you have one last wish. The soldier still said I want to say a few words to my horse.

The officer was very strange and went to the stable to steal Listen. The watchman saw the soldiers grabbing the horse's ears and shouting: "I asked you to bring a female (brigade) member, not a female person!"

Guangxi

< p> Some Guangxi people speak Mandarin, and their pronunciation is not accurate, and they often have obvious local accents! The common way is to pronounce: empty as male, mouth as dog, and wind as crazy, which makes the following joke

When friends come from far away, they usually serve a plate of snails for dinner. The host picks up one and says: Male! Then he throws it away. He picks up another one and says: It’s male again! There are no short words in his mouth

Gu: It’s a male again! My friend was very surprised and thought: Awesome! Guangxi people are awesome! You can even see the male and female of snails!

I also invited friends to dinner, Guangxi people have a bit of a cold , found himself sitting under the air-conditioning vent, and said: I have a cold, so I can’t sit next to a mad dog. After saying that, he changed seats, my friend

On New Year’s Day evening, my younger brother brought two overseas Chinese students home for dinner. Cheerful, one is more reserved.

During the dinner, the cheerful classmate smiled and pointed at the reserved classmate and introduced us: "He is from Myanmar, so he is relatively shy." Then he raised his glass to toast everyone and raised his head.

After finishing the drink, he continued: "I'm from Yangon."

At the school affairs meeting at the end of the semester, the principal expressed his displeasure at the low efficiency of personnel administration.

Thunder. He said: "The person in charge of director business is ignorant; the person in charge of personnel management is unconscious;

The person who is a director is not a director!"

There was a family named Pan, and the elder passed away. .

During the family ceremony, an old man with a strong local accent was invited to be the master of ceremonies.

The obituary reads:

Filial son: Pan Genke

Filial daughter-in-law: Chi

Filial granddaughter: Pan Liangci

Filial piety grandson: Pan Daoshi

But this old gentleman is dim-sighted and his pronunciation is not standard.

When he followed the roll call of the obituaries, he missed everything that had three dots of water on the letter or the left part.

So I read it to him like this: "Xiaonan, turn over... and fight..."

When Xiaonan heard this, he felt strange, but he didn't dare to ask. , so he did a somersault.

Then he said: "Xiao daughter-in-law, also... is..."

Upon hearing this, Xiao daughter-in-law said: "I want to do it too?" So Xiao daughter-in-law also did a somersault. .

Come again: "filial granddaughter, do it twice."

When the filial granddaughter heard this, she thought that her parents had already done it, so I should do it too! So she did two somersaults. .

At this time, Xiaosun thought to himself: "My father and mother each turned once, and my sister also turned twice.

So how many times do I have to turn?" I kept thinking in my mind. He started to get nervous: "What should I do?"

I saw the old gentleman opening his throat and reading loudly:

"Filial grandson...turn...to...die..." Humorous Jokes with Homophones of Chinese Characters Chapter 3

Eating Dumplings

One day I went to a restaurant with a foreign friend to eat dumplings.

The beautiful service lady came to ask, and my friends always missed any opportunity to practice Chinese, rushing to ask, "How much does it cost to "sleep"?

The lady was embarrassed and very angry. I quickly explained that he was asking how much the dumplings cost.

When the dumplings were served, I asked him if he wanted mustard.

He invited a young lady again. Is there any "program"?

The lady said cheerfully, "Yes, what kind of program do you want to order?"

"It's the yellow one!"

Station Eat with it

A foreign girl married to China. During breakfast, she was told that she couldn’t eat fried dough sticks: "You eat it with dip."

She stood up immediately , and was told "You eat it with dipping!"

She was confused and said aggrievedly: "Let me eat standing up. I have already stood up, where should I stand?"

p>

Make something after seeing a chicken

Once upon a time there was a landowner who loved to eat chicken. The tenants rented his land and had to pay the rent alone. They had to give him a chicken first. < /p>

There was a tenant named Zhang San. At the end of the year, he went to pay rent to the landlord and share the land for the second year. When he went, he put a chicken in a bag. After paying the rent, he said to the landlord: When the landlord saw that he had nothing in his hands, he raised his eyes and said, "This land is not open to Zhang San." Zhang San understood the meaning of this sentence and immediately took the chicken out of the bag.

When the landlord saw the chicken, he immediately changed his mind and said: "If you don't give it to Zhang San, give it to someone else."

Zhang San said: "Your words become so fast!"

The landlord replied: "That sentence just now was "nonsense (chicken) talk", and now this sentence was made based on the opportunity (chicken)."

A meeting in a village, because of the homophonic pronunciation, The village chief said: "Rabbits and shrimps, don't ask for pickles, pickles are too expensive. "The host said: "Please give me pickles, sausage and melon. "(Now I invite the township chief to speak.) The township chief said: "Rabbits and shrimps, the dog has eaten today's rice, everyone is a big bastard. "

The coach said: "The first class kills the chickens, the second class steals the eggs, and I will make porridge for you. "(Class one shoots, class two drops bombs, let me show you how.)

A foreigner came to China and gave himself a Chinese name, Wei Mao. He was looking for a job in China . He came to a company and a man asked him: "What's your last name?" "He replied: "My surname is Wei.

"Wei what?" ""Why? Do I have to say why my surname is Wei? "

The bus I was driving arrived at the station that day, and the passengers got off the bus. Just as the door was about to close, a woman shouted outside the door; "I want to die on your bus!"

I was so nervous that I immediately closed the car door and stepped on the accelerator, thinking, "There are so many weirdos and weird things in the city."

Unexpectedly, the lady actually called a taxi and chased me. The bus finally stopped.

The door opened, and the lady shouted again: "Why don't you stop? I'm going to die on your bus!"

I asked her in fear "Miss, what is it that you can't think about?"

He walked to a seat angrily, then picked up a bunch of keys and said to me, "I want [the keys] to be in your car!" Chinese characters Homophone humorous jokes 4

Li Dazhuang is afraid of his wife

Li Dazhuang, a famous scholar in Hebei, is very afraid of his wife. If he does not obey his wife's orders, his wife will punish him to sit upright and put his His hair was twisted into the shape of a needlework plaque, and he put a lamp bowl inside and lit the lamp. Li Dazhuang didn't dare to move or breathe, just like a piece of dead wood or a clay doll. His friends who were punished all joked to him: You are just a lamp stand that fills a gap in the house.

One day, his wife suddenly fell ill and had to use crows as medicine. The snow had not yet melted and it was very difficult. It was difficult to catch crows with a net. Li Dazhuang failed to catch crows, and his wife was furious and wanted to beat him with a stick. Dazhuang was afraid, so he walked to the countryside on the sand and lured the crows with food, but only caught one. /p>

A friend made a joke to him and said: The saint regards the arrival of the phoenix as auspiciousness. You caught a crow and escaped a beating from your wife. It seems that the crow is a black phoenix< /p>

Feng Shui

A man was about to die and asked his son to nail four large copper rings on the side of the coffin. The son asked him why, and he said: You will be indispensable in the future. I have to listen to Mr. Feng Shui and move me around. It’s easier to move me this way.

The dog doesn’t recognize it.

Two people were sitting together, and one of them let go. He didn't say anything, just covered his nose with his sleeves.

There happened to be a dog nearby, so the man said that it happened to be a dog fart. At this time, the dog yawned, and the man said to the man: Look, it still refuses to recognize it!

Painting Plum Blossoms

There is an unsigned plum blossom painting, with I saw it personally and praised the painting very much. Someone asked him: Do you know who painted it? He said:

Send a plaque

Someone praised it. He was sure to win the prize and said: I dreamed of a drum band playing and sending a plaque to my house at night. One of his friends said: I also dreamed of sending a plaque to your house. The man asked: What are the four words on it? The friend replied. Said: This is unreasonable.

Laughing people passed the news

A new official took office, and a village chief asked for a hundred dogs to be given to the new official; he bought ninety-nine, but there were still less. When he couldn't buy one anymore, he sawed off the horns of a sheep and mixed it with the dogs.

Sheep are ruminants and constantly chew food in their mouths. When the new official saw the sheep's mouth moving, he asked: "Why does this dog's mouth keep moving?" The chief replied: "This dog is chewing maggots."

Laughing Fool

Once upon a time there was a thief who often had money to buy things. A fool envied him and once asked him: How are you good at stealing? The thief replied: There is a reason why I am good at stealing: whenever I steal other people's property, I use a crow and magpie to make a nest. I put the branches in my hands so that no one could see me. When a fool sees a thief say this, he believes it to be true.

One day, he went to the crow and magpie's nest, took a branch and held it in his hand. Then he went to steal property from a house and was caught and beaten. When he was being beaten, the fool also said: You can't actually see me when I knock you down.

New car

A boss bought a new car, but he was very worried about the driver he hired. He was worried that the driver would replace the parts of the new car with old ones in order to make a profit. He couldn't drive himself, so he had to ask the driver clearly about every move he made.

Once he went out in a car. The car slowed down and then picked up again.

"What's going on?" the boss asked the driver.

"It's nothing, sir, I just changed gears."

The boss turned to the friend next to him and whispered: "Did you see that you didn't even say hello to me? The gear has been changed. I must get rid of him." Humorous Jokes with Chinese Characters 5

What happened to the beautiful woman?

Chatting with a classmate in the corridor. The chemistry teacher walked by,

I pointed at the teacher and said to my friend, "That beauty..."

The chemistry teacher heard it. I turned around and asked with a smile, "What's wrong with that beauty?"

I was stunned and answered: "Sodium magnesium aluminum silicon phosphorus, sulfur chloride argon potassium calcium"

Can you give it to me? A ladle?

A monk once passed by our village looking for water and went to Aunt Wang’s house.

Monk: "Female donor, I'm here to ask for water."

Aunt Wang kindly took the monk into the courtyard: "Master, wait while I go get water."

The monk nodded kindly: "The donor is really kind-hearted, can you give me the ladle?"

Later, there was a lame monk in our town.

Jacuzzi

A woman went to the supermarket to buy groceries.

Her man said he would buy a box of Jacquard and take him home.

When the woman came home, she handed the man a box.

The man opened it and saw: a pair of chicken wings.

The man said: I wiped it, why did I change the packaging box!

Is it cool?

A colleague came to work today and saw his hair It’s short,

Me: Why did you cut your hair? Is it cool?

He said to me sincerely: It’s not 2 yuan, it’s 28 yuan!

Zhu Shanghai

There is a classmate in the class named Zhu Shanghai who doesn’t like to study.

Once in class, he was playing by himself and affected others.

The teacher criticized him harshly:

“You are so ignorant and incompetent. Want to live in Shanghai? You can’t even open the door to the bathroom.”

Go and call your roommate!

“Teacher, are you looking for me?”

"I heard that you have been in trouble a lot lately. Did you skip class yesterday?"

"Um. I skipped class."

"You used a heater in the dormitory Is it quick?"

"I am useful."

"Did you use the hair dryer in the bedroom?"

"Yes. Useful."

"Oh, the teacher made a mistake, go and call you (roommate)!"

Since you are kneeling like this, I won't buy it

I went shopping for clothes with my girlfriend, and she fell in love with a coat.

I opened the label and saw that it cost 6,888 yuan.

My girlfriend is also very sensible and knows that it is not easy for me to make money.

She turned to me and said, "Since you are kneeling like this, I won't buy it."

Sister Paper, where is your brother?

I went to my buddy’s house to play, and his sister opened the door.

I asked politely: Sister, where is your brother?

Before I could say anything else, she subconsciously put her hands on her chest...

Then the door slammed shut and she shouted angrily: Brother !

I am a lost child

The child lost his way in the forest and met a big stupid bear.

The child said: I am a lost child, can you take me to find my mother?

The big stupid bear nodded and led the child a long way to the elk’s home...

It’s not nice to seek death

Liu Bei: "Zhao Yun. The three of us brothers have finished their sworn sworn vows before. Today I see that you are not a bad person, so I count you as one."

Zhao Yun: "It's better not to give up."

Zhang Fei: "Why do you look down on our brothers?"

Zhao Yun: "No, Brother Fei, I just feel that calling me Zhao Si doesn't sound good";