Please give Cao Yunjin a cross talk name!

The cross talk is called "Speaking, Learning and Singing", performed by Cao Yunjin and Liu Yuntian

The lines are as follows:

A: I am very happy to be able to perform in Tianjin Happy inside

B: Very excited

A: First of all, the two of us wish all the audience today good health

A and B: All the best

A: Let me introduce myself first

B: Tell me

A: The host just said it

B: Yeah

A: This cross talk was jointly said by Cao Yunjin and Liu Yuntian

B: Hey

A: My name is Cao Yunjin

B: Yes

A: I am from Tianjin

B: Yes

A: He is also from Tianjin

B: Hey

A: His name is Liu Yuntian

B: Yes

A: This teacher is amazing

B: What’s up

< p>A: Let me introduce why I cooperate with them. Because when they take three of me with them, I must be their teacher.

B: Let’s see what you said.

A: I am a person. I have never admired anyone since I was a child

B: Really

A: But Mr. Liu is the second greatest man in the world in my opinion

B: Then The greatest person in your mind is

A: Ximen Qing, Ximen Daguanren and Jinlian

B: Not you. Wait a moment

A: That< /p>

B: Which one, you can’t mention this?

A: That person’s style

B: OK, OK

A: That’s it Okay?

B: Can we talk separately? It’s two people

A: You two have the same hobbies in this area

B: It’s different

A: What a good character

B: Two different things

A: I admire you

B: Really

A: Why do the two of us cooperate? Because we have a good relationship

B: That’s true

A: We are partners on stage and friends off stage. How good can we be? There is nothing we can do about it. Use words to describe it

B: It’s great

A: I went to their house that day and you weren’t at home, your dad was alone

B : What are you doing

A: The old man has a hobby

B: What hobby

A: Playing chess is good

B: That’s right Research

A: Hold the chess record and play alone there. I said, "How can I play alone? Come on, let's play. This is a good game. Let's play at 2:30 in the afternoon." By 7:30 in the evening, the game of chess was indecisive. In the end, your father had one bishop and I had one knight left, and no one could win.

B: This is not a draw

< p>A: It's a draw. I don't know how to play it. I'm dumbfounded

B: There's no way to play it

A: Your father insists on it. Next

B: What's going on here

A: Let's take a look at Colombia's Fajie Elephant Crossing the River, your father is bad

B: What's going on< /p>

A: Reach out and fuck the elephant until it looks like me. When I see your dad looks like me, don’t be polite, I just fuck it. Your dad, your dad looks like me, and I am your dad. Your dad looks like me and I am your dad. Your dad looks like me and I am your dad. I was so angry at the end that I reached out and picked up the elephant and put it in my pocket. This time your dad can't be like me anymore. I can only be your dad< /p>

B: I am your grandfather, do you think I can talk like this?

A: Why are you talking in a hurry?

B: Can you not be in a hurry?

A: Are you talking about playing chess?

B: Please make it clear

A: Are you talking about playing chess? Teacher Liu

< p>B: What’s wrong with me

A: The idol in my heart is a great person who is easy to learn from. The 2003 graduates of Peking University are really stinky hooligans with diplomas

B: Wait Wait a minute, are you a college student or a hooligan?

A: Are college students awesome? We have a cultural background and we are little actors.

If you have any words you don’t know, please ask for help

B: Let’s study together

A: Teacher Liu, what do you pronounce this character, what do you pronounce this character, write it out for you, write it in pinyin, whatever the text is. Get to know tadpole inscriptions and oracle bone inscriptions

B: Me

A: Do you know them all? What words do you have? Look them up in the dictionary. As I walked along, there was a piece of paper on the ground. I picked it up and looked at it. What is written?

B: Are there any new words?

A: It’s good to study. There are slogans on the wall at the rural performance. Let’s see what is written.

B: Are there any new words? New words

A: It was a good day to study. I went to the public toilet to urinate. I stood up and was peeing. I saw a line of writing on the wall opposite. Look up, and up, and up, and up, and up to the end. There is writing on the roof

B: What is it written?

A: I wet my shoes. My shoes are wet every step of the way. A smart and amazing person

B : You are so insulting to me

A: Said that you are a good person

B: I didn’t say that

A: Just kidding Crosstalkers have to talk and laugh like this. Everyone is happy and happy. Crosstalk actors have four tasks. They say that learning to sing is not easy. Let’s talk about it. Your mouth must be clean. If you have something wrong, you can’t talk about crosstalk. You have a big tongue and bite your tongue. When talking about crosstalk, it’s troublesome. For example, there is a saying that spends two hundred dollars to buy a piglet that squeaks, drinks water, eats beans, throws it out from the wall, and guess what?

B: What?

A: You have to be so clear when you die. Every word has to be delivered to your ears without corruption

B: It’s so clear

A: There is something wrong with your mouth and you can’t say it with this big tongue. This is troublesome

B: What's it like?

A: Spend a hundred yuan to buy a small rent this (pronounced zhei) drink water gaba gaba eat beans and throw them out from the wall There was a squeak, guess what, it was washed

B: Washed, this is not possible

A: There is something wrong with my mouth and I can’t speak. In fact, we need to study language. Our language on the stage must be civilized. You must be clean and don’t talk nonsense. Not only must you be careful on stage, but you must also be careful off stage. Otherwise, you will make a joke if you are not careful

B: I have made a joke

A: Just take yesterday Let's talk about it tonight. A few friends came to my house, including me. There were eight people. When I saw that there were so many people, don't eat at home. Let's eat out. I found a big restaurant and ordered a big table with vegetables, chicken, duck, fish and everything. < /p>

A: This big tortoise weighs more than 200 kilograms

B: Give me a break

A: It’s 1.8 meters tall

B : Who are you going to compete with? Don’t compete with this one

A: When the big tortoise soup was brought over, I eagerly picked up this spoon and filled it with a spoonful of soup

B: How about

p>

A: It’s really fresh. The waiter next to me started talking when I praised the soup. Mr., this bastard is a soup drinker. Work hard. Divide this soup. Divide this soup. Just divide the soup. Is there any left? Meat? Divide this meat. Why don’t you call me benzene? There are also eggs. Divide these eggs too. When he heard that I told him to divide the eggs, he spoke again

B: What did you say?

A: I’m sorry, sir, I can’t tell you eight of you seven bastards

B: You’re so good at talking

A: I I'm still lying in the hospital because I can't speak.

B: That's right

A: You have to study it and it's not easy to learn. There are many things flying in the sky, running on the ground, floating in the water, jumping in the grass, big and small businesses, and shouting to people from all provinces to speak. They are all within the scope of our study

B: Can you learn them all?

A: Of course, we have to learn about everything in the world

B: Really

A: Let me ask you which thing in the world has the fastest mouth

B: Talks the fastest

A: Talks the fastest

B: Let me tell you, this little swallow has the fastest mouth

A: No, the toad has the fastest mouth Xiaoyan's mouth is slow, but a toad's mouth is quick

B: No, our Xiaoyan's mouth is quick

A: No, a toad's mouth is quick

B: Xiaoyan's mouth is quick

< p>A: You don’t

Are you trying to argue? You are so quick to talk

B: How about we stop being pretentious and let's compete for a while

A: How do we compete?

B: Let's do this Count dozens from one to ten to see who speaks faster

A: Count from one to ten and see who speaks faster. You come first

B: I will imitate the voice of this little swallow< /p>

A: I imitate a toad

B: Listen

A: Come on

B: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven More than eighty or ninety, fast, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, ninety

A: Xiaoyan

B: Fast or not

A: You don’t look like this Xiaoyan, you are like a roast duck

B: Why do you care? Swallows talk quickly

A: Listen to me, toad, Liangwu

B: Liangwu Ah, this one with addition is one hundred.

A: Two fifty, two, five hundred, two, five thousand. I can count from here to ten thousand, two and a half million.

B: That’s it for you

A: Hurry up and be quick

B: You’re the one with addition

A: You have to study the theory and learn how to be funny It’s not easy to say that cross talk has to be funny or not. Cross talk has to make you laugh. But you see, we are on stage to make people laugh, and we don’t make people laugh either. It’s not completely smooth, and there are worries in my heart

B : What’s wrong with you?

A: Let’s talk about something awkward this morning. I’m lying down at home. I’m usually busy with performances. I want to sleep in late today and I’ll be lying down at home during the performance tonight.

< p>B: Get more rest

A: My wife is a wicked bitch

B: Don’t say that

A: You woke up early at 8:30 What are you supposed to do when you wake up? Go ahead and mess with me

B: What's wrong with him

A: He's pulling at me. It's time to get up. It's time to get up. If you can't afford it, get up. Sorry, I got angry (accent) as soon as I heard this

B: You are going crazy

A: Why are you going crazy when you give me your life? You are looking for death. I kicked you to death. I got up. I seemed to get up. I was tired.

B: What are you talking about here? Who are you scolding?

A: Are you scolding my wife?

B: Why are you scolding your wife?

A: I scolded my wife, do you care about it?

B: Cursed

A: No, do you care about me?

B: I don’t care about me No matter how talkative you are

A: If you want me to tell you whether I can’t get up or not

B: If you want me to say, get up if you want to and if you don’t want to, just go back to sleep for a while

< p>A: My wife also said that if you want to get up, get up if you don’t want to, then go back to sleep for a while

B: No, just wait a while, who said this?

A : My wife

B: How come it’s the same as what I said

A: I’ve caught up with you and you said it’s over when I get up. You’re still looking for trouble with me. I’ll put it aside. Then sit there. Where is Luck? I’ll bring you a cup of tea. Take two sips.

B: Let you drink some water.

A: Do you want to drink? Do you want to drink? Do you want to drink? As soon as I heard these words, I got excited (accent)

B: It’s time to go to the hospital

A: Why are you going crazy when you say you’re giving your life? I’m courting death. I'm kicking you to death. I'm drinking. I seem to be drinking. I'm tired. I'm drinking. I seem to want to drink. But I don't really want to drink. Shanxi Wangzi. I drink one drink, two drinks, three drinks. I drink, I drink, I drink. Your grandma is a grandson (also refers to B)< /p>

B: What do you mean you are scolding?

A: You are scolding my wife

B: Why are you coming at me

A: Cun Do you mind if I scold my wife?

B: Go ahead and scold me

A: Do you want me to tell you whether I should drink or not?

B: I am willing to drink. After a few sips, I don’t want to drink it.

A: My wife also said that she is willing to take a few sips. If she wants to drink it, she doesn’t want to drink it.

B: You will come back later. Who said that?

A: My wife said that

B: Why is it the same as what I said?

A: Isn’t it over after I drink it? You still look for my cigarette? I handed it over and you take a cigarette.

I can't smoke, I can't smoke. When I heard these words, I felt so hot.

B: Do you want to die?

A: Why are you crazy when you say this? You are looking for death. I'll kick you to death. I'll whip you. I seem to be whipping. I'm tired of whipping. I seem to want to smoke, but I don't really want to smoke. I smoke, I smoke.

B: Beat your grandma and grandson

A: Make me wet all over my face

B: You are talking nonsense

A: What! Why did you come to me?

B: Nonsense, you have come to me twice

A: My wife is anxious

B: Ah

p>

A: I want you to tell me whether I smoke or not! My wife is ignoring me

B: That’s outrageous

A: You think I should smoke or not? Ah

B: Please wait and ask again! Let me ask you first, after what I have said, is there still your wife here?

A: No, I promise there is no more

B: If there is again, I will sit down and die. You

A: I can’t offend you, okay

B: OK

A: Do you think I should smoke or not?

B: Let me tell you! Just take two puffs. What did your wife say?

A: My wife didn’t say anything. My son is here. Dad, take two puffs! Don't make trouble, don't make trouble, get anxious, blush, blush, isn't this just teasing? Isn't this just funny?

B: Oh! Do you want to give everyone an example?

A: Yes, give me an example so that everyone can understand

B: That’s what it means

A: That’s it Funny, both talking and learning about funny are demonstrated, and there is also this singing

B: Yes

A: Maybe people don’t understand the singing

B: What’s wrong< /p>

A: Singing. Some people say that we cross talk actors sing a song, a play, a ditty, or a ditty. That’s not singing, that’s called learning. Learning to sing. Real singing refers to us. The cross talk sect sings Taiping lyrics,

B: Really?

A: Generally speaking, no young actors can do this anymore!

B: Not many people know it

A: Basically it is almost lost. Fortunately, I am still here, I can still sing, I can sing Taiping lyrics, I can sing the whole verse

B: Oh! Can you sing the whole Taiping lyrics?

A: That’s just a small section, I can’t sing a big section either

B: So today, you have to work hard and sing for us How about a piece of Taiping lyrics

A: Thank you for your applause and encouragement! To all of you, I am working hard here today. I am singing a piece of Taiping lyrics, a short section of Taiping lyrics about the fight between the snipe and the clam

B: OK

A: Drink water, drink water (referring to the audience)

B: Drink later, let him sing first, we have finished listening, thank you, thank you

A: Knock melon seeds, knock melon seeds ( Pointing to the audience in the audience)

B: Wait for a while before you kowtow. Wait until he finishes singing the Taiping lyrics and then kowtow again. Thank you, thank you.

A: Talk, talk (pointing to the stage) (Exit the audience)

B: Stop talking, do you want to sing or not?

A: It was cloudy yesterday and the Weishui River was cold. The clams that came out of the water were basking on the beach. The osprey fell in the middle of the air. It folded its wings and folded its scales and pulled it down. The eagle's flesh was in unbearable pain. The clam clamped its beak between its wings and fanned it. A fish hawk came from the south. A fish hawk came to the shore. On the other side, he was really happy when he said that he was happy, he drank clams, and exchanged ospreys for money. An osprey shed such sad tears and called out clams to ask you to listen. If he had known that he had fallen into the hands of a fisherman, it would be better to You return to the sea, and I go to the mountains. You return to the sea and drink the water from the sky. I go to the mountains and enjoy peace and quiet. This is like a snipe and a clam fighting for the fisherman's profit. It is easier for you to stick your head out than to retreat.

B: Okay , really good

A: I can’t sing well, I just learned a little bit

B: Not bad, not bad, pretty good

A: But I can sing, like me There is nothing wrong with being an actor. I can learn to sing and sing. Although I say that my performance is not good and needs to be improved. I should learn to speak well, but at least I can do it a little! Like this one, this one has been in short supply for a long time! (Finger B)

B: If not, why are you mentioning me? What about you

A: I can’t do this, I can’t sing this, my voice isn’t good! Singing is not in tune. Not only is singing bad, but even farting is not in tune!

B: What are you talking about?

A: I can’t listen to it. When he sings it, it’s “Bu”. I don’t know.

He was bullying him. Look at his face, it looks so cruel. This is Kyoupachi standing up! I'm not happy working with him! Next time you go on stage, cover your face.

B: No one named Cao is like you! Don't do this to me, you know this is called pouting?

A: Can I touch you?

B: Do you know that you are a pout on stage? I have to sing back this sentence to you today

A: Come on, come on!

B: No Come on, I'll hit you, let me tell you! I’ve been so bad since I first came up, I’ve never seen a cross talk actor like you

A: I’m crazy

B: I’m not crazy, just go over there

A: No, don’t sing , it’s so ugly that you can’t listen to it!

B: Don’t worry about this. It’s none of your business

A: Ah~~~~~~~~~~

B: Did you hear something? Don’t worry about it. Make trouble, listen, this is called the old tune Taiping Lyrics

A: Ah~~~~~~~Don’t sing, it’s too hard to listen to

B: Su San left Hongdong County, When I came to the street, I never told you that you had a bad heart. Gentlemen in the past, please listen to me. I advise my sister-in-law to stop shedding tears and save you from sorrow. I will support you in your old age and leave it to your brother. I admire you for being calm, clever and courageous. You dare to play tricks in front of the Japanese. Huaqiang, if it weren’t for Chen Zhou’s mother-in-law and Xiao Bao Zheng, the grievances would have been redressed in the Tianqi Temple%@￥%×&(unintelligible) Shedding blood to write about the Spring and Autumn Period hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

A: (feeling in pain, fell to the ground )

B: This is not me (pull A off the stage)