The reasons and dangers of the proliferation of "human touch" in treating guests and giving gifts

However, with the rapid development of economy and society, this traditional etiquette has gradually become alienated and deteriorated in daily life. Let’s learn about the causes, dangers and countermeasures of treating guests and giving gifts as a favor.

The reason for the prevalence of treating guests and giving gifts, "human feelings",

In various social classes such as officialdom, workplace, and private society, there are all kinds of "human feelings", and weddings and weddings are held in a grand manner. It communicates interpersonal and fair relationships, and even replaces procedures and social justice. If the national style of human relations is an invisible killer, then the style of human relations among cadres is the catalyst that promotes this invisible killer. When the style of human relations becomes a national habit, a kind of "hidden rule" for cadres to eat, drink and entertain, it becomes another kind of thing. This extremely destructive force will have a huge negative impact on our economic construction and social development, and will cause great damage to our development efficiency and social progress. Therefore, it is urgent to break the bad habits of human nature.

1. The basic current situation of Renqing style. According to interviews and discussions, the current Renqing style in Yidu has the following manifestations:

First, there are more and more names. In the past, favor consumption was limited to a few items such as weddings and funerals, but now it has increased to more than a dozen types. Such as birthdays, completion of a new home, moving to a new school, entering a higher education, joining the army, opening a business, etc., all must be made grand and generous, and gifts must be collected. In some places in the countryside, even old sows who have given birth to piglets have to treat guests and receive gifts. It’s really a gift that you want to receive, so why bother?

Second, the scale is getting bigger and bigger. In the past, weddings and funerals were limited to relatives, friends and colleagues in the unit. Nowadays, as long as you find a name, you will inform and greet people from all directions, even those you have met once. The informant is confident and confident, but the person being notified is reluctant and unwilling, and is afraid of being embarrassed when they meet in the future, causing psychological conflicts and embarrassing situations. There are dozens or nearly a hundred tables at one banquet, and the occasion is unprecedented. Below the county level, there is a "society of acquaintances". There are few people you don't know, and you can see each other without looking up. Therefore, some people ridiculed: "It was more tidy than the third-level cadres meeting."

Third, the gift money is getting thicker and thicker. In the past, people believed in "Send goose feathers thousands of miles away, and benevolence and righteousness are more important than gifts." The gifts given were very small and did not affect daily life. Gifts now range from 3 yuan or 5 yuan in the past to as little as 50 yuan or 100 yuan, as much as 200 yuan, 500 yuan, or even more, which is far beyond what people can afford. There is an unwritten rule in Songmuping and Yangxi areas. If I give you 100 yuan, you have to pay me back more than 100 yuan until it doubles. The pursuit of love has become a disguised investment, with low risk and high return. The snowball is getting bigger and bigger. Some people have to spend tens of thousands of yuan a year, and they really can't play anymore.

Fourth, the frequency is getting faster and faster. In the past, we could receive several gifts notifications in a year, but now we receive an average of three or four notifications per month. During the prime wedding seasons of May Day and National Day, as well as the days of entering higher education and joining the army, notices of gifts are even more numerous. Some days, several have to be received, and it is too late for the family to separate and run away. Units with large numbers of people, such as hospitals and schools, are even more unable to cope.

Fifth, waste is becoming more and more serious. In the past, when I went to a restaurant to eat, I packed up what I couldn't eat and took it away. Nowadays, there are dozens and hundreds of tables set out for "favors". Some of them only move their chopsticks a few times symbolically, but they can't be taken away, and most of them are thrown away. There are all kinds of wasteful phenomena of pomp and extravagance, such as competing to blow whips during white events, singing operas and requesting songs during red events, etc. The huge amount of money spent is really shocking.

Sixth, some people hold banquets. Celebration is not the purpose, but an opportunity to collect money and make a fortune. A few cadres with some real power like to do this. People who are greedy for profit like to do this. A few powerless people gave too many gifts and wanted to get them back but couldn't find a reason, so they made a lot of jokes. The same person has several birthdays a year. He opens a business on holiday and closes the business immediately after receiving gifts. He holds a birthday party for an old man who is not over 70 years old, and gives "full moon wine" to piglets. ?Every family is happy but every family is sad, red envelopes are overwhelming the public. The popularity of people is increasing day by day, and it’s a pity that money is given away to restaurants. ?This poem is a true portrayal of the current proliferation of ?human feelings.

Treating guests and giving gifts? The custom of favors? The dangers of overuse: favors are greater than debts and favors are stronger than tigers.

This altered custom of favors has made cadres and the masses confused and helpless.

Some people joke that the invitation is a "red payment order" or a "gentle fine". Humanity is a disaster.

First, with the spread of "renqing custom" and the increase in renqing consumption, people's financial burden has increased, a lot of extra expenses have been added, and normal family life has been affected. Those who suffer the most are farmers and "salary workers". In rural areas, many people are forced to borrow money here and there due to "favor debts" and cannot make ends meet. In cities, many workers only earn a few hundred or a thousand yuan a month through hard work. They can barely cover their daily expenses. Adding on the extra consumption of favors will undoubtedly make things worse for these low-income people. Those living on minimum living allowances and retired workers are even more difficult and overwhelmed. Some elderly people hate themselves for not dying, which has seriously affected social stability.

Second, it corrupts the social atmosphere. As the "favor" trend spreads and the debt of favor increases, the gifts are getting thicker and thicker, while the favor is getting thinner and thinner, and some have turned into naked money transactions. I gave it to you today, and I have to find a way to take it back tomorrow. Some people also go to court someone they don’t know, so that they can collect more gifts in return if they have something to do; if I accept it from you, I will find an opportunity to return it as soon as possible. . After going around, all the money was given to the hotel, and no one benefited. Everyone is a victim of "human sentiment", but many people are the originators of "human sentiment". Everyone hates this kind of trend, but they all feel helpless and unable to resist. They blame each other, imitate each other, and even add fuel to the flames. As time goes on, the social atmosphere gets worse and worse.

Third, it has corrupted a small number of party members and cadres and damaged the image of the party and the government. The prevalence of "human sentiments" is directly related to the unhealthy trends within the party and the bad trends in society. Some party members and leading cadres ignore the repeated orders from their superiors and make clever excuses to make money. In order to avoid inspection by the disciplinary inspection and supervision departments, some of them broke the operation into parts, "shooting one shot and changing the place". Three or five tables are invited at a time and notified in batches. Some even operate continuously for ten days or half a month. Some leading cadres violated the regulations prohibiting weddings and funerals, finding various reasons to celebrate and taking the opportunity to accept gifts. A few even accepted bribes and committed illegal crimes.

Fourth, human relations have seriously changed. Chinese people have advocated courtesy and reciprocity since ancient times, but with the development of the times, this kind of intercourse has become more and more distorted in interpersonal relationships. The style of favor is polluting people's hearts. The amount of money indicates the importance of favor; the value of gifts shows the relationship. Closeness. Because of the size of the gift, elders and younger generations turn against each other, brothers and sisters turn against each other, and relatives and friends fall out of harmony. In order to avoid these problems, the amount of each consumption cannot be less. This kind of courtesy exchange has been replaced by a vulgar money relationship. The amount of favors and gifts has almost become the link between interpersonal relationships. If someone dares to risk "the disdain of the world" and resist the trend of human kindness, he will be accused of "opening the door on the roof" and will be regarded as "alternative" and receive a cold reception.

Countermeasures to solve the problem of treating guests and giving gifts?

(1) Publicity and education are the foundation. Human relations are a category subject to moral constraints. Therefore, the key to managing human relations depends on the citizens themselves. Only when people realize the harm of human customs, start from themselves, and resist them by everyone, can bad customs be turned into good ones. We should regard the management of human relations as an important part of the construction of spiritual civilization and an important measure to build a harmonious society and a conservation-oriented society. We should educate citizens to declare war on old life customs, change vulgar interpersonal relationships and comparison psychology, guide people to change customs, and use limited funds to Used to improve life, develop production, and establish healthy and harmonious interpersonal relationships. Propaganda departments should take the opportunity to implement the party's spirit and strengthen the construction of the socialist core value system, educate people with advanced ideas, guide people with correct public opinions, advocate healthy and civilized social atmosphere, and vigorously promote new people, new things and new trends in human relations. Promote and criticize all kinds of stereotypes and bad habits, promote the return of human feelings to purity, and make life full of true feelings. The propaganda department can take the lead and organize the Communist Youth League, Women's Federation, Trade Unions, and Civilization Offices to carry out an in-depth and long-lasting publicity and education campaign among the cadres and masses in urban and rural areas to "oppose big actions and establish new trends of civilization", using radio, TV, newspapers, columns, slogans and other forms, including posting public service advertisements in hotels and restaurants, create a strong publicity atmosphere, guide people to discuss the abnormal consumption of favors, and use people and things around them to promote the success of the favor network The harm of greater knots and the benefits of simple handling of problems. At the same time, analyze yourself and formulate corrective measures.

We should ruthlessly expose those cadres who have a money-grabbing mentality and make big fuss when things happen. We should widely publicize the new civilized trend of weddings and simple funerals, so as to form a new trend in the whole society: big fussing is shameful and new. A strong atmosphere of public opinion in which new things are done gloriously.

(2) Standardizing the behavior of party members and cadres is the key. To catch the sheep, catch the leader first. To manage the style of human relations, we must first correct the style of the party and purify the style of cadres. ?The virtue of a gentleman is like the virtue of a villain. The wind on the grass will destroy it. ?As party members in the vanguard set an example, and as cadres as the backbone of society take the lead in setting an example, the humane atmosphere will improve. Leading cadres must take the lead and set an example. As leading cadres, they should strictly implement various regulations on clean and honest administration, declare in advance and report afterward, consciously accept the supervision of disciplinary inspections, supervision, the media and the whole society, handle weddings and funerals in a simple manner, set a new trend and set an example for the masses, and A good party style leads to a fundamental improvement in the atmosphere of the entire society. Adhere to the role models of cadres leading the way. Extensively promote healthy and civilized communication methods among cadres, establish cadre models, and advocate new and civilized ways to express goodwill and increase feelings through a bouquet of flowers, a cup of tea, a song, a warm word, etc.

(3) Governance according to law is fundamental. If the law is upright, the wind will flow smoothly, and the officials will be clean and the people will be at ease. Governance of human relations is also inseparable from the rule of law. It is necessary to elevate some of the customs related to human relations from the moral category to the legal category, and regulate people's social behavior in accordance with the law. Rules and regulations must be established to regulate the personal interactions of party members and cadres. Party members and cadres are not allowed to advertise on radio and television when they have something to do. The scope of human relationships and banquets is limited to relatives and friends. The amount of gifts must be defined. Party members and cadres are strictly prohibited from making too big a deal. Hold a banquet and take the opportunity to make money. According to local practices, party members and cadres are limited to the death of their parents and the marriage of their children. A banquet cannot exceed 30 tables, and the amount of gifts per person cannot exceed 200 yuan. We advocate equality between returning gifts and giving gifts, and oppose spiraling. Extravagance and waste are strictly prohibited. Let the people express their affection and act according to their ability without affecting normal life. Innovate methods, carry forward the traditional virtues of the Chinese nation, and create a new trend of civilization, harmony, and health.

(4) Strengthening supervision is a guarantee. In recent years, a very important reason why the trend of extravagant weddings and funerals has spread is that a small number of cadres ignore party rules, party disciplines and relevant government regulations, which not only corrupts the party's conduct and political style, but also leads to folk customs. To completely eradicate this unhealthy trend, we must strengthen the supervision of party members and cadres, and seriously investigate and deal with the behavior of party members and cadres in organizing weddings and funerals. At present, in particular, we must combine the implementation of the eight central regulations and the accountability activities for mediocrity , requiring party members and cadres to play an exemplary role, consciously break traditional humanities and bad habits, and establish a good image among the masses. Discipline inspection and supervision agencies must clearly stipulate that if leading cadres violate regulations when organizing weddings and funerals, and it does not constitute a violation of discipline, they will be given a talk, admonishment talk, ordered to inspect, rectified, informed of criticism, dismissed from office, etc.; if it constitutes a violation of discipline, they will be dealt with according to the relevant regulations. It stipulates that administrative responsibilities shall be investigated; those suspected of committing crimes shall be transferred to judicial organs for handling; those who take advantage of the weddings and funerals of leading cadres to send money and materials to leading cadres shall be held accountable for the disciplinary responsibility of the person directly responsible in accordance with the relevant party and government disciplines and regulations; for leading cadres who use weddings and funerals to If outstanding issues such as extravagant celebrations and taking advantage of the opportunity to make money are not stopped or investigated, leading to repeated disciplinary violations within the immediate jurisdiction, the unit's qualifications for first-rate evaluation and excellence will be revoked, and the disciplinary responsibility of the main person in charge will be held; leading cadres who violate regulations will be held accountable Gifts and gifts received for weddings and funerals shall be collected in accordance with regulations. The focus of supervision is on leading cadres, but it cannot be limited to leading cadres. All public officials, including village cadres, should be included in the scope of supervision.

(5) Fulfilling the purpose is the core. Weddings and funerals are essentially an exchange of interests. Some cadres take this opportunity to treat guests and give gifts to build relationships and seek benefits. The purpose is to obtain more returns through people with certain power and social influence. And a large part of the people who have certain power and social influence are our cadres. Therefore, our cadres can only administer in accordance with the law, establish a governance concept that is dedicated to the people and an image of fairness and integrity, resolutely overcome the unhealthy tendencies of "not doing things without giving benefits, and doing things randomly when giving benefits", and effectively safeguard the interests of the overwhelming majority of the people and let people Only by feeling that things can be done without inviting guests or giving gifts, and that honest people do not suffer losses, can we fundamentally prevent the occurrence of unhealthy trends.

The spread of human sentiment has not only distorted the pure friendship and affection among comrades, relatives and friends, discarded the fine traditions of diligence, thrift, and hard work, corrupted the party style, political style, folk style, and social style, damaged the image and prestige of cadres, and endangered Extremely serious.