Classic funny sentence: Don't marry someone who can't read.

1: Somewhere in Hebei: Never marry an illiterate wife, never marry an illiterate Han! 2. I'll help you solve the problem that Confucius can't solve.

3: Lei Feng did a good thing without leaving a name, but everything was recorded in his diary.

4. Ideal world = free telephone+free Internet access.

5: Stay green, there is still no wood to burn.

6. Mom said it's best not to miss two things in life: the last bus home and someone who loves you deeply.

7: There are no windtight walls and no hanging beams.

8: The sky is not blue without you, the days without you are upset, and life without you is really difficult. When can I really have you, my dearest? . . . Not beautiful, not you, but money!

9: God didn't give me much responsibility, but it still made me feel pain and tired.

10: I eat porridge every day, but I don't want to. I went for a walk in the vegetable market yesterday. I think I will continue to eat porridge.

1 1: An iron pestle can be ground into a needle, and a wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. The material is wrong, and it's no use trying again. I am forgetful, so my wife often tells me not to take an umbrella when I go out to work in rainy days, so there are ten umbrellas at home now.

I don't like to tidy my room. They all call me a hero with a messy room.

13: My principle is: if people don't attack me, I won't attack; If people attack me, I will be angry!

15: I bought a one-inch monitor to make my mistakes look smaller!

16: Yuanyang played with water and was fucking drowned; Fly with me, you fucking fell dead.

17: Even the happiest bachelor will get married sooner or later. Isn't happiness permanent?

18: What's the matter? I just called your mobile phone, and when the bell rang, it said: The user is eating grass, please don't disturb! I can't believe it. Call again and say: the subscriber you dialed has been sent to the slaughterhouse. Please share it later! Are you okay?

19: The crowd looked for her for thousands of Baidu, and suddenly looking back, that person still shrugged off me.

I dreamed that you were singing last night! Your singing is very sweet, and your sentimental expression touched me. I almost swear to love you for 10 thousand years, but I dare not, because you are singing to a donkey: I want to be you when I grow up!

2 1: Wood makes furniture, scholars understand poetry, people think about money, and fools watch the news.

22: I dreamed of dream of eating spaghetti and woke up in the morning to find that my shoelaces were gone!

2020 funny classic sentences and funny sentences

Don't look back, I only love your back.

Dissatisfaction is a substitute for vacancy, which makes people have the desire to climb up constantly in comparison.

Success is 3% talent plus 97% not being distracted by the Internet.

Smart women deal with men, stupid women deal with women.

Format yourself just to delete you.

Sorry, the number you dialed is married.

Zhuge Liang never led a soldier before he came out of the mountain. Why should I have work experience?

Dinosaurs that degenerate three times a day are the strongest waste in human history.

Damn, I've never seen anything so archaeological. It can be used as a world heritage.

If the old words don't eat your condom now, you can play with others.

The man riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince, he may be Tang priest; A man with wings is not necessarily an angel, he may be a bird man.

You think I'm gonna watch you die? I'll close my eyes!

The intelligence test is to see how stupid you really are.

Life is birth and life.

Asking how sad you can be is like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel.

Although I believe in vows of eternal love, I may not believe you.

Even without distance, love is a long-distance race.

The person in the dream wakes up and walks up to him.

The piano, chess, calligraphy and painting are not good, and washing and cooking are too tiring.

People don't attack me, I don't attack; If people offend me, comity three points; I'll give you an injection if people let me again; People still attack me and kill the grass.

Life is like taking a shit. Sometimes you have worked hard, but all you get is a fart.

If eating more fish can make people smart, then I should at least eat a pair of whales.

If you can't dress the woman you love, please stop unbuttoning your hand.

If beauty is a letter of recommendation, then kindness is a credit card!

Tongue is longer than teeth, and software is longer than hardware.

People who are too rational will definitely miss the opportunity of going astray and the beautiful scenery along the way brought by mistakes.

Without hard work, comrades, the revolution must still succeed.

I am not a casual person! But by the way, it's not a person!

I drown my sorrows in wine, but this damn pain learned to swim.

I want to puppy love, but it's too late.

My greatest skill is to use cheap things to produce expensive effects. Like cameras, microphones, and myself.

If you have never been loved by others, you will cherish those who love you in the future.

Classic sentences are very interesting.

1, nonsense is the first sentence of interpersonal relationship.

When a man makes money, he wants to divorce his wife. When a man can't make money, his wife wants to divorce him.

In fact, swans would be lonely without frogs!

Angels can fly because they look down on themselves.

5, the iron cock will leave some rust, you are simply a stainless steel cock!

6. Lovers will eventually become house slaves, and those who have houses will eventually become families.

7. Men's business is reflected in getting busier and busier at work, while women's business is reflected in getting salty at cooking.

8. I spent 80,000 yuan on a pottery jar of the Western Zhou Dynasty. I went to the Jianbao column for identification yesterday. The expert said seriously: which one was this in the Western Zhou Dynasty? This is from last week!

9, no money, no power, no longer good to you, can you follow me?

10, play with your life: you can only play with your life. If your life is gone, what can you play?

1 1. When I was a child, my mother kindly said to me: Good boy, if you learn this skill, you will never starve to death. So my mother taught me to eat!

12, sometimes if people are complacent, even the city walls will be ashamed.

13, all the questions in the world can be answered with nothing to do with you and me. Suddenly I feel so busy.

14, piano, chess, calligraphy and painting are not good, and washing and cooking are too tiring.

15. If you are angry for one minute, you will lose 60 seconds of happiness.

16, salted fish turns over, or salted fish.

17, life is like breathing, breathing is to get a breath, and breathing is to win a breath.

18, my wife praised me for being horny after seeing some photos of my college girlfriend.

19, one foot can't shit, so you are clean!

20. Who says I'm white, thin and beautiful ~ I'll be good friends with him ~

2 1, goose, cut the curve with a knife, pluck the hair and add water, and ignite the pot!

22. Life is like a tension. There are no accurate lyrics, but it is thrilling.

23, without you, the sky is so blue, the grass is so green, even the mental derangement has become smart!

I don't hate you because I don't want to remember you.

25, handsome has a fart to use! Finally, it was eaten by a chess piece!

26. When the boss uses you, you are a talent. When you are not used, you become a layoff!

Roses are very cheap. You can give them to your wife.

28. If it were all ginger, what a spicy society it would be.

29, others laugh at me for being too slutty, and I laugh at others for not being open.

30. I always wander between cow A and cow C.

3 1, house prices are getting higher and higher, and there are fewer and fewer good men.

32. I sang to the computer and crashed after singing.

33. Taking the subway is a comprehensive sport, which combines Tai Chi, Judo and bone contraction.

34. Does everyone know one or more people who like news broadcast? Everyday life is nothing but lying.

How did you die? Not so poor as to die.

36. When pants lose their belts, they know what dependence is.

37. Love is a glass of wine. I carefully held it to my beloved, and he accidentally spilled it, so I poured water on it!

38. The grievances that can be said are not grievances; A lover who can be taken away is not a lover.

39. Take a big job after graduation, and you can earn 300 thousand after graduation. Look at the drawings and build a 40-meter chimney. It's all covered up, and people will beat me up as soon as they see it! Shit, the drawings are upside down. People want to dig a well.

40. I drew a coffin in which you and she were lying. How kind I am to let you die together.

4 1. Is the leaf leaving because of the chasing of the wind or the tree's persistence?

42, people are not embarrassed, standing instability! People are not damaged, not standardized! People are not bad, they die quickly.

43, don't ask for the right door, just feel in place.

44. No matter how difficult it is, think of yourself as 250. No matter how difficult it is, think of yourself as a two-faced person.

45. Some people are alive, but they are dead. Some people are still alive. He should be dead.

46. The hero is sad about the beauty pass. I am not a hero. The beauty let me go.

47. I wanted to die and bought a bottle of pesticide. The lid said-another bottle.

48. When I first entered the university, I was too weak to step on an ant. After graduation, I became a ruthless killer, trained by those who crawled in my rice bowl and flew in the canteen bowl.

49. There are two ways to pollute a place: garbage or money!

50. There are three treasures in a lie: eternal, unchanging and love till death do us part; There are three treasures in Korean dramas: car accidents, cancer and incurable diseases.

5 1, the later you die, the more you deserve social security!

52. An employee of Huawei was arrested by the police for whoring in Matishan, which became the company's annual scandal. Reason for dismissal: going to such a cheap place will make the company lose face!

53. Life is your courage, and death is your destiny, but I want to know if you are half dead.

54. Everyone is primitive at birth. Sadly, many people have gradually become pirates!

55. Women have countless QQ numbers just to flirt with men. Men often use a QQ number to charge all kinds of women.

56. Our love died on this day just to give each other a chance to be reborn.

57. I'd rather you hold another woman and miss me than you hold me and miss another woman.

58. Traditional men are pure before marriage and start fooling around after marriage; Modern men fool around before marriage and become honest after marriage.

59. If you fall, get up and cry again.

60. In this era when everything is rising in price, I am suddenly delighted to find that the air is not rising in price, but there are more and more materials.

6 1, the first part: envy and jealousy; Bottom line: emptiness, loneliness and cold; Horizontal criticism: paralyzing my singleness.

A white lie is a good excuse for your deception.

I can't help smoking at the thought of the motherland's disunity.

64. A woman is like a book on the shelf. Although you bought her, she was more or less turned over by several men before you bought her.

65. Commodities have a shelf life, and people sometimes get tired of watching them. How long can you be awesome in my heart?

66. Now hospitals can eat money at the speed of ATM machines.

67. Grandpa comes from his grandson.

As a typical loser, you are really successful.

69. Even if I am a piece of dung, I am also a piece of dung with flowers.

70. How to lose weight if you are not full? Classic sentences, funny words, people can't stop laughing

146, money, let's indulge, let's make money without condoms.

147, if I want to sweep the floor, I will never wash the dishes. If I want to wash the dishes, I will never sweep the floor. Do both? You treat me like an alien!

148, the exploration journey is not to discover the new continent, but to cultivate a new perspective.

149. In a word, many people pretend to be mature when they are young, and they are more mature than when they are young.

150, my god! My clothes have lost weight again.

15 1, busyness is a kind of happiness, which makes us have no time to experience pain; Running around is a kind of happiness, which makes us really feel life; Fatigue is a kind of enjoyment, which makes us have no time to be empty.

152, there is no rehearsal in life, and every day is live broadcast.

153, the reason for refusing to confess is often that we are not from the same world. Am I from Mars? Not suitable for earth people?

154, women like bad-looking men, not bad-looking men.

155, woman, eloquence is constant and figure is not constant; Men, pictures are often and money is not often.

156, the greatest happiness in life is to eat the leaves left between your teeth at noon and remember them slowly in the afternoon.

157 part 1: I didn't bring my student id card, but part 2: I didn't do the listening and reading composition. Horizontal approval: Focus on participation!

158 There are two birds in the tree. The hunter raised his gun and killed one. He found it hairless. He's thinking. Another bird flew down and cursed the hunter: MD, I just stripped her naked and you shot it down!

159, why doesn't the country study bulletproof vests with your face?

160, nothing money can solve is a problem.

7 1, don't say that others are mentally ill. The premise of brain disease is that you must have a brain.

72. How to give MM an unforgettable birthday? Beat her up first, and then send her the room certificate of the most expensive property in Guangzhou, which will be an unforgettable surprise!

73. Besides love, there are radishes in other people's fields.

74. My brother described the sanitary condition of his dormitory. I don't want to open my eyes when I get back to the dormitory! ! !

75. You'd better let me kneel on the washboard. Kneeling on the electric heater is unbearable.

76. The perfect figure is also a teasing material in the eyes of people who don't love her.

77. When the bank charges, it says: This is in line with international practice. When serving in the army, he said: We should consider the national conditions of China.

78. In high school, the class teacher often enlightened me that there are so many beautiful women crossing the river, you just need to weave the net now! After being admitted to Tsinghua, I want to play his glass with a monkey rubber band.

79, even believe in advertisements, you are so stupid to read!

80. I am the most normal among abnormal people and the most abnormal among normal people.

8 1. Once upon a time, a WOW player was afraid of being stolen, so he tattooed a secret treasure card on his wife's ass. Later, he was stolen.

Cigarettes are disobedient, so we smoke.

83. Hugging is really a strange thing. When we are so close, we can't see each other's faces.

84. In the current milk powder safety environment like China, choosing a woman with big breasts is a sign that a man is responsible for his children!

85. I can't find my tie again. Didn't you find a rag yesterday?

86. Take a newspaper to the toilet. I am a scholar.

87. Not everyone can keep a low profile. The basis of low-key is to be high-key at all times.

88. In a few decades, we will meet again and send them to the crematorium. They will all be burned to ashes, one for you and one for me. No one knows anyone, and everyone will be sent to the countryside to make fertilizer.

89. After studying for more than ten years, it is better to mix in kindergarten!

90. I can't stand such commercial signs: remove, give money and sell! I threw 5 yuan money to buy a down jacket, but she wouldn't sell it. It's simply cheating consumers!

9 1, youth is dedicated to the house and middle age to the children.

92. Anyone who kisses in front of the canteen, study room and teaching building can't afford a house!

Standing on the scale and seeing the displayed figures, I thought of a special literary word, which is difficult to fly.

94. It is not necessarily a monk who burns incense, but also a panda!

95, the sea is wide with diving, and the drums are broken.

Classic sentences are very interesting.

1. When you are in a bad mood, go to the toilet. After finishing, you said to the toilet with a ferocious face, "Give me shit!" " Then flush the toilet.

2. The hero was abolished by the beautiful woman; Beauty is wasted by a big price; Handsome guy, abandoned by rich woman; Life was ruined by mortgage; Youth is wasted by work; San Xiao abolished marriage; Money is wasted by dollars; Students are wasted by online games; Online games were abolished by violence; Children abandoned by Sanlu; Faith was abolished by Brother Chun; Aesthetics was abolished by Xifeng; Xifeng, abandoned by the moon; Dreams have been abandoned by reality.

3. The difference between attending classes: primary schools spend more money, junior high schools spend more money, senior high schools spend more brains, and universities spend less water. ...

4. Push yourself and others.

5. A person's longest love history is probably narcissism …

6. The difference between ambiguity and ambiguity is that the former is together and the latter is not.

7. The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death, nor between love and ignorance, but between beds in winter.

8, people are iron, rice is steel, and you don't have to pretend to panic for a day.

9, my site, you are the landlord.

10, don't give me a discharge, because I have a caller ID here.

1 1, you can't treat me as a holiday just because we have a holiday.

12. What should I do if I catch live mosquitoes in summer? 1 Of course. 2. Send him to school. 3. Buy him a house. 4. Help him marry his wife. 5. Look after his children. Otherwise, what can you do? After all, this is your blood. ...

13, my wife often said that if one day she won the lottery, she would never give me a penny, get divorced immediately and move abroad. She doesn't know that I've been buying lottery tickets with the same number as her for five years ... to see if she can still laugh then.

14, now I know that Li Bai, the house slave, bought a set of uncompleted residential flats, as evidenced by poems: there are no windows on the bright line at the foot of my bed; Is there frost already? Gate is not installed; I looked up and found it was moonlight-the roof was open; It sank again, and I suddenly remembered my home. It was very painful.

15, kettle, why are you crying? Is it because your ass is too hot?

16, what I was most afraid of when I was a child was not dreaming that I couldn't find the toilet. But people haven't woken up yet, and the toilet has been found.

17, official diary of an official: getting up in the morning: boxing; Meeting in the morning: take a nap; Eat at noon: burp; Go to work in the afternoon: hit ha; Working overtime at night: playing cards; Evening entertainment: sex; Going home late at night: fighting.

18. In chemistry class, the chemistry teacher asked, "What if your gas leaks?" Don't panic, light a cigarette and calm down.

19, the meaning of "there are plenty of fragrant grass in the end of the world, why do you have to love a flower unrequited" has always been-"There are so many men in the world, why do you have to like a woman!"

20. The road in Xiu Yuan is very long, so I'd better take a taxi.

2 1, what are the bad guys, men who take off their pants during the day and women who don't take off their makeup at night?

22. Women are plump when they are fat, slim when they are thin, slender when they are tall, and exquisite when they are short. Men are all fat pigs, thin ribs, tall bamboo poles and short wax gourd!

23. My heart is not a bus. I don't want you to sit down if there is a vacant seat.

24, others hand in hand, I take my dog, take a walk, swim, and bite whoever is unhappy.

25. I always have a question in my mind. It's been five years, five years. What does Grey Wolf eat for a living …

26. Some people say that long-distance love is difficult. Some people say that homosexuality is difficult. Some people say that it is difficult to love brothers and sisters. Some people say that it is difficult to love teachers and students. Some people say that it is difficult to love foreign countries. I say that no one is the hardest!

27. We should know how to cherish and protect everyone around us, because looking back at the broken neck in our last life, we have all met it in this life.

28. How long is a minute? It depends on whether you are squatting in the toilet or waiting outside.

29, men chat, seven points about ideals, three points about women; Women talk about men in seven points and ideals in three points. Thus, men conquer the world and win women; Women conquer men and win the world.

30. Donor, the poor monk is here for alms. Do you have a sauce elbow? Fried chicken legs are also ok. It's good.

3 1, you don't know the value of Friday afternoon unless you experienced a plunge on Monday morning.

32. Real warriors should dare to face up to beautiful girls and face up to bleak singles.

33. I think there must be many people who secretly love me, because for so many years, no one has confessed to me!

34. I have been poor and crazy recently, and I have no money to buy big cakes, so I can only eat buns; If you want to eat pie, pat the steamed bread flat; If you want noodles, comb the steamed bread a few times with a comb!

35. Three elements of success: 1, persistence; 2, shameless; 3. Insist on being shameless. Did you do it?

36. As the saying goes, Zhu Zhechi is near Zhu Zhechi. It's not your fault that you like eating. In the final analysis, it is because there are too many pigs around you.