Inspiration from Bi Shumin’s inspirational story: Accept inferiority and realize happiness

Inspiration from Bi Shumin’s inspirational story: Accept inferiority and realize happiness

Inferiority is a chronic disease that often recurs. Therefore, each of us has a long way to go to fight against low self-esteem. Below, I will give you some examples of times when low self-esteem occurs.

1. See the dazzling and successful people.

In our lifetime, we always have to see many people who are much better than ourselves. If you always see people who are worse than you, then you need to reflect on whether your life situation is constantly sinking? If you often encounter people who make you lag behind as you move forward, then congratulations to you Ah, you are constantly making progress. You will feel inferior, but this inferiority can be turned into motivation.

2. See beautiful people.

There are many beautiful people in this world, just like there are many beautiful scenery. Wouldn't you be happy to see the beautiful scenery? This is the miraculous work of nature. It is a blessing to be able to see it with your own eyes. When I see beautiful people, I admire them with all my heart. Don't always compare yourself with beauty. It is not only the birthplace of low self-esteem, but also makes you feel depressed. It is also a waste of natural resources and a waste of a good time.

3. See luxurious scenes, such as big houses and villas. Saw fancy cars.

Women are particularly sensitive to houses. The reason may be related to their special need for a sense of security.

Men have a special liking for speed and power, so they have a natural admiration for cars, especially good cars. When we see a nice house or a nice car, we can't help but think of our own shabbyness, which makes it especially easy for us to feel inferior. The way to deal with it is to understand that this is a human nature inherited from ancient times and is excusable. However, apart from solving the most basic housing problem, there is no need to spend too much energy on this issue. The so-called house is the scope of your daily activities. I watched animal programs on TV, and it was said that large beasts such as ligers and tigers each need an activity territory of tens of square kilometers. This is because they need to forage. Modern people in cities basically have ready-made food. Home is a place for sleeping and daily activities, so the home does not need to be too big.

Beijing once caught a thief who went to a villa to steal things and even slept in other people's homes without the owner noticing. Because this villa is too big, the owner cannot inspect it. It can be seen that if the room is too big, the actual use effect will be lost. It will just hire more people to serve itself and create a bigger pomp. And a person is self-reliant and takes care of himself, which is the basic morality of life. If a person has to rely on others for daily life, he is either extremely old and frail, or he is seriously ill. Otherwise, I think it is inappropriate.

4. Facing delicacies from mountains and seas that I have never seen before, the dining place is very luxurious.

It’s easy to become discouraged at times like this. From the appearance of a person's food, it is easy to judge the state of his life when he was young. Unless you undergo special training, your eating habits are like your childhood photo album.

However, even if you don’t know certain eating etiquette, it’s not your fault and you don’t have to feel ashamed. If you need to, you can deal with it by learning a little, and then practice makes perfect, no big deal. Moreover, I always feel that the way of eating does not need to be too delicate, the cooking process does not need to be too complicated, and the ingredients do not need to be too cruel. Eating something too weird goes against the evolutionary laws of the human digestive system and the cycle of nature.

If anyone shows off his rank and value by what and how he eats, by where he lives and how luxurious his place is, ha! Then he has not completely left the existence of animals. method, but deep down I still feel inferior. It's understandable if you're nervous about food and shelter, but don't let these feelings overwhelm you.

Can't you make an oath and decide that you will have better food and a bigger place to live than him in the future?

If this is the case, you will always fail in the face of this material challenge. Once you have figured it all out, you will be able to feel at ease in front of all the strange and dazzling substances you have never experienced before. You can admire and be amazed, you can sigh and be intoxicated, but you will not fall to your knees.

5. Facing jewelry stores and luxury watch stores.

When they appear, they strongly squeeze our self-esteem. Because there are too many zeros after the price number, it looks like a bunch of overturned candied haws. My strategy is usually not to look, although when I do, I don't flinch. I know I can't afford them, but I won't be dazzled by their sparkle. The essence of a clock is to mark time. In this sense, a 10 yuan electronic watch and a sky-high price watch have the same use value.

When I say this, some people must disagree. They will say that you are a fox and you cannot eat the grapes. I'm not a fox, I can't eat grapes, but I know that no matter how sweet the grapes are, they are still grapes, not pears.

Whenever there is a report about where the sky-high-priced mobile phones, sky-high-priced computers, sky-high-priced toilets, and sky-high-priced pens are manufactured? I will be curious to find out why they are worth the sky-high price? I carefully find the materials. After some research, the results turned out to be quite boring, just a large area studded with diamonds. Of course, diamonds on the toilet were not very reliable, so they were changed to gold. In short, these artifacts are not extraordinary in function, they are just the precious metals or gems we all know are attached to them. The purpose of staying true to one's identity is to show one's identity.

Jewelry has a longer history than humans. Diamonds were already crystallizing on Earth shortly after its birth. From this point of view, humans have to pay tribute to diamonds. The youngest diamond is 1 billion years old.

Unlike human beings’ fragile cycle of life and death, once a diamond is formed, it is immortal. This characteristic gives it a class character and becomes a symbol of status and wealth. It makes the distinction between noble and inferior, which needs careful identification, clear at a glance. In fact, no one can really own jewelry, it is just a temporary preservation. Just like a bank clerk, although he has handled a lot of money, how much does that have to do with you? After work, you still have to go back to your home and live your own life.

It is said that there is a slogan posted in the geologist's office: Diamonds are just coal modified by pressure, and they are oxygen-deficient coal. ?It can be said to be true.

So, don’t be discouraged in front of jewelry. Speaking of which, it is more difficult to identify oneself now than in ancient times. The chiefs at that time were nothing more than putting towering feathers on their heads. When you become emperor, you have to wear dragon robes embroidered with specific patterns, and when you go out, you have to scatter loess on the streets and splash clean water on them. There are certain rules on how to dress according to your official rank, and you must not overstep it. All these external signs do nothing more than make the level clear at a glance.

Modern society advocates equality for all, but ubiquitous discrimination still stubbornly exists. They disguise themselves and interpret ancient propositions in new forms. In the past, rich people wore silk and satin, but now all kinds of cheap chemical fibers can imitate realistic satin effects, so people had no choice but to create such a thing as famous brands. They are well made, but no matter how well they are, they are not worth the hefty price tag. So it is called the added value of the brand.

What is "added value"? To put it bluntly, most of the people who wear this kind of clothes are rich people, indicating a certain status. Once this kind of reputation is formed, the use value of these items takes a back seat, and the most important role is to indicate the identity of the owner. People in the past showed their status by wearing flower feathers on their heads, but modern people cannot put notes on their foreheads saying how much property they have and how high their status is. Some of them rely on famous brands to highlight their status. This is the psychological appeal of a famous brand.

Famous brands have become the feathers for vain people to express wealth and status. Once you have these things figured out, you will have the confidence to avoid having your knees weak in the face of luxury.

Or you can be a little soft, but then become firm and move forward boldly on your own path.

6. Faced with clothes that you can’t afford.

People don’t need to wear clothes that are too luxurious, too gorgeous, or too incredible. This violates the original intention of clothing. There will always be things that I can't afford. My method is to walk by quietly without even turning my head. Instead of setting a timetable for myself, I decided to earn a sum of money before a certain time and buy this dress. One cannot be the slave of anyone, certainly not the slave of a piece of clothing.

7. A gathering place for classmates from universities, middle schools and primary schools.

Chinese people value the friendship between classmates. Classmates have a special title called "classmate". I like this word very much, it gives me a sense of remoteness and cuddling. The window will not be very big. A window can only accommodate one or two heads looking out of the window. They could feel each other's body temperature, and their gazes shot toward the clouds together. Chinese people are nostalgic for old times, especially when they become adults, they first work hard on their own, and for a while they seem to be indifferent and do not communicate with each other. Suddenly, everyone emerged from the ground like mushrooms after the rain. They all gathered after spreading the word. At this time, their respective economic status, social status, marriage, etc., have different divisions. They were all originally printed in batches, but now some are hardcover, some have wrinkled pages, some have exquisite bookmarks, some have been dog-eared and torn, and some have been taken. Reciting aloud in the hand, some were almost sold to the scrap collection station?

On such occasions, most of the people who come are hesitant and satisfied, and those who are absent are mostly the poor and down-to-earth. There is a folk saying: a young man who goes out stamps his feet and says: "If I don't make a difference, I won't come back to see my parents and fellow villagers." Actually, if you think about it carefully, this doesn't make sense. The party is about friendship, not a competition in Vanity Fair. So even if you are just an ordinary person, you can still walk into the gathering place boldly and proudly.

In my novel "Female Worker", I wrote about such a woman. There is a scene like this in the TV series: She was the squadron leader of her class, then she became a worker, and then she was laid off. The classmates went to the teacher's house for a gathering, and she helped the teacher clean and work in the kitchen. When everyone arrived, she opened the door, but her classmates didn't recognize her, thinking she was the nanny hired by the teacher's family. Faced with that embarrassment, she dealt with it calmly. Her classmates did not look down on her at all, but said they would learn from the squadron leader back then.

I don’t know if this is an idealistic description? I sincerely hope that the place where students gather is full of warmth, equality and friendliness.

Time is the experience flowing in the blood, and the story hidden in the tree hole of the soul. However, it will also easily flow out of your life attitude and get a response. As long as you no longer feel inferior, everything will be fine.

8. Abroad.

When you go abroad and see neat streets, clean squares, tall buildings, clear rivers, lush mountains, and clear blue skies, it’s easy to feel envious. It’s understandable that when envy goes too far, some people become inferior. I think it's okay to be envious, but other people's land will not be given to you to live in. Therefore, it is better to directly transform envy into motivation to fight and do things well in your own country. You know, if you don't love your own country, other countries won't love you. When you become a person without a country, you lose your belonging. The sense of belonging is an extremely important feeling for human beings. Without this feeling, it would be worse than a lost dog.

9. When being criticized by others, it is easy to develop a sense of inferiority.

No one likes to be criticized. But at the same time, no one can avoid being criticized. If we develop a sense of inferiority when we are criticized, then we will have to live under the shadow of inferiority almost every day. If you fundamentally admit that you are not a perfect person, and admit that perfection is an impossible state, then you will also admit that being criticized by others is normal. Accept criticism and don't generalize it.

On this issue, I particularly support "discussing matters as they arise".

For a long time, "discussing things as they are" seems to be a derogatory term, as if it avoids the important and ignores the trivial, and is unwilling to dig deep into the root of the thought. In fact, for most things, it is better to discuss the matter as it is, especially not to expand the failure of one thing into the failure of a person. Treat temporary failure as lifelong failure. Criticism is just someone else's evaluation of you, not to mention whether the evaluation is fair or not. Even an impeccable evaluation only represents that person's opinion, and he cannot represent the world. Even if the whole world denies you (which is almost impossible), as long as you have confidence in yourself, things may change.

10. Being rejected by others, especially when you are lovelorn.

It feels uncomfortable to be rejected! I believe everyone can understand this. When we make a request to others, there is always a beautiful idea following closely behind. Being rejected not only shatters our assumptions, but also triggers many unpleasant associations in us. Do we think that the person who rejects us doesn’t like us? Does he think we are unimportant? Does he deny our entire plan? Does he have a bad impression of us from now on? Really?

I believe it As long as you follow this negative path freely, you will definitely come up with thousands of explanations to make you feel discouraged, your pessimism will continue, and the swamp of inferiority will bubble up with cold bubbles. . The best way to deal with it is to recognize that others have the right to say no and respond to rejection with a normal attitude. No matter what the reason is for the other party to reject your request, just find another way out. Don't turn other people's rejection into your own rejection.

Here I want to talk about lovelorn. If we can talk about other rejections on a case-by-case basis, this matter of broken love is really directed at you.

Broken love can generally be divided into two parties. One party is an active rejecter, that is to say, you actively choose to "lose" the other party. This kind of loss, because it is a decision you made after careful consideration, is relatively easy to accept. The most difficult thing to deal with is the one who is rejected. Many people are simply in danger. They don't want to eat or drink, and lose weight drastically. Of course, some people may overeat and gain weight due to this.

The Chinese tradition of being emotional usually involves loss of appetite, falling asleep with one's head covered, and not thinking about eating. The boy's cheeks are sunken and his fibrous roots are exposed. The girl is as skinny as a stick and has a withered face. When some people abroad encounter this kind of moment, their appetite will become surprisingly good. They will eat steaks and hamburgers as if it is the end of the world. In recent years, when our Chinese people are in a mood, this type of eating and drinking has also increased. Therefore, in the diagnostic criteria for depression, sudden changes in appetite, whether it is a decrease or an increase, are listed in the category of abnormality.

Falling out of love is a strong and painful rejection. People torture themselves on the grill of memories until the painful marrow drips out. However, please keep in mind that it is only one man or woman who rejects you, not all men or women. What you lose is your lover, not yourself. What the most tragic lovelorn experience is not the possibility of being unloved, but a profound "loss". He or she feels that he or she has lost the motivation to live, the recognition of others, the warmth of the world, and the ability to affirm himself?

List the above feelings one by one for the lovelorn person You might retort, ha! It’s not that serious!

If you can say that, that would be great. Loss is indeed terrible, but no loss is as terrible as the flame in your heart extinguishing. As long as you believe in yourself, all losses will take off the scary magic clothes and reveal your vulnerable nature. After the tears burst out, maybe a miracle will come.

11. Sudden feeling of discomfort.

Have you ever felt a sudden onset of discomfort? You were at a loss and didn’t know where to focus your eyes. You immediately discovered that there were so many bad things about you, such as your pants were too short and your clothes were wrinkled. The pleats, the color of the tie is wrong, the fingernails are too long, spitballs came out when talking, and all the questions that could have been answered were suddenly forgotten? All these unreasonable things are actually very possible. It is a deep inferiority complex triggered by a small trigger that disrupts our entire emotional compass, making us panic and unable to perform as well as we should.

12. Thinking that you are responsible for other people’s troubles.

When this feeling overflows, we often fall into deep self-blame. What should we blame ourselves for? Sometimes it seems unclear. Many times, we are completely innocent. But even if you understand intellectually that you are not responsible for other people's troubles, you still can't let go. You feel that you must have done something wrong somewhere, and because you haven't noticed it yet, the mistake is even more unforgivable. This feeling is very tortured. A friend told me that even if she was on a bus with strangers, even if she was sitting in the first row and someone was arguing in the last row of seats, she would feel that she must have done something wrong, otherwise, Why would someone be unhappy?

I really feel sorry for her. She grew up in a family full of quarrels. Whenever a fierce conflict broke out, her parents would point their finger at her and say, without you, we would have divorced long ago. All this is because of you!

Later, her parents finally divorced, and she was sentenced to her mother. My mother's mantra is, if it weren't for you, I would have married the person I like. Without you, how could I have aged so fast? Without you, how could my body have gotten sick?

These words, which were like curses, deeply hurt her young heart. Over time, my friend felt that he was a sinner in the world and felt extremely low self-esteem. Any noise would startle her. Although she excelled in her studies and was friendly to others, she still felt that she was unnecessary and annoying.

Please remember that everyone is responsible for their own emotions. This is not only for yourself, but also for those who let others take responsibility for themselves. Especially as parents, if you have been wronged in the office, please don't vent your anger on innocent children. Not only did you bully a weak person, but you also gave the child a seed of inferiority.

13. Others.

Any time you don’t believe in yourself and feel bad. This last one is like a big bamboo basket, all-encompassing. It seems pointless, but remember this sentence, when you really can't find a reason to worry, but you feel depressed, downcast, bored, and negative, don't think that it is an accidental event that has no trace, it is very likely that there is something wrong. A deep-seated inferiority complex became red, swollen, hot and painfully inflamed in the soul. Inferiority is sometimes like a tumor in your heart. It exists quietly most of the time and does not bother you with pain. But it will grow slowly and quietly, and suddenly one day, it will turn cancerous and kill you. ;