Super funny short jokes (24 super humorous jokes)

1. There are flower beds in the park, and there is a sign on the flower bed that says, "Whoever steps into the flower bed will be fined 3 yuan!" It is said that the grandfather who looks at the flower bed throws a one-dollar coin into the flower bed every day. . . Then someone will be fined 3 yuan every day.

2. A classmate went to Africa to build aid. The builder who just arrived at the construction site to receive him is a black man. He communicated with others in English, but the black people didn't make a sound. Then he used French again, and the black man still didn't speak. Then he motioned with his hand. Finally, the black man spoke: Make a blind gesture, and the whole construction site belongs to China.

There is a colleague in the unit, Mongolian. I went home after a year off, but I still didn't come back after a few days off. The leader called, and he said on the phone: Leader, I am still riding on Hulunbeier grassland to find a home. My family is a nomadic people. I don't know where to move now.

4. The child asked his mother: Why are there many flies stuck on the flies? Why are there flies standing on them? Mom: If there are many people in the street, will you join in the fun? . .

5. Girl: "Let's break up." Boy: "It's ok to break up. Let me hold your hand for the last time. " The girl agreed, and the boy smiled: "If you can break up with me, I will agree to break up." The girl had a hard time getting rid of the boy, and the boy immediately turned and left ~ The girl suddenly understood something, and when she caught up with the boy, she shouted, "You took the opportunity to wipe the ring you gave me back."

6. "My buddy was hit in the mouth. A few days later, he called his family to apologize, bringing fruit and some assholes. Come in and say: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, something is wrong. The buddy said: nothing, nothing, come as soon as you come, and bring your family with you? As a result, I lay down for another two days. "

7. Once a male colleague and a female colleague in our company quarreled! Suddenly, male colleagues praised female colleagues for having face! Female colleagues are overjoyed! Female colleague: "Really? Really? What do you think? " Male colleague: "You have no desire to show your husband this way, you can only concentrate on your career!" " " .。 .

8. Freshmen just entered the school, and the whole class introduced themselves. A male student: My name is You Yongzhi, and I come from Beijing. I like playing chess! It's the girl's turn behind him. The girl stood up shyly and said, My name is Shakuyaku ... I like swimming!

When I met a beautiful woman at the bus stop, I got up the courage to strike up a conversation. Hello beauty, may I ask you a place? The beauty smiled and said: Yes, yes. How can I walk into your heart? The beautiful woman calmly replied: It's far away. See the car opposite? Don't even think about it without a good car. I accepted the reality cruelly, and I drove the car opposite.

10. One day, a farmer in rags came to withdraw money, and the bank clerk asked him to sign the note. The farmer took the note, turned it upside down and signed it. The clerk said, "A countryman is a countryman. You got it upside down. The farmer said, it's upside down. But my signature is also the other way around! The clerk opened his eyes and saw that it was the same as what he was signing! His face turned red. It turned out that the farmer was still a master and could actually sign in the opposite direction! God replied: The farmer's name is Wang Zhongwang.

1 1. A little nurse intern came to Cory the other day, which was quite beautiful. This morning, I gave a male patient infusion. That man's blood vessels are very thin, and it took eight stitches to tie them up. The male patient was pricked by a needle and sweated profusely, but he said generously, I told you to relax. Don't you think it's easy? ! The daughter-in-law of the male patient can't bear it. Hey, she is very generous today. Yesterday, the old man gave you two injections. Who is screaming and complaining about her?

12. The craziest thing in our company is the doorman. The old man is stubborn and no one is afraid. He hit the office director, department manager and workshop worker. We are all afraid of him, even the general manager calls him dad when he sees him.

65438+ old? The teacher asked me to go home and feed the pigs for a day. I didn't listen to my teacher at that time. I didn't understand old age until today? How far is the teacher? Goodbye! I failed my teacher? One? A painstaking effort!

14. once grandma took the bus, the thief took grandma's money, and grandma found out, but she didn't dare to ask for it directly. So, grandma said something that I admire so far: "Young man, look at my money, did it fall into your pocket?"

15. Xiaoming angrily found his father: "Why did you give me such a broken name? My friends racked their brains to hack me. How can I be a person in the future? " "Don't worry, son, your name has a history. "Abortion, explain to your son ..."

16. A perm master hit a sugar-coated gourd seller. Arriving at the police station, the policeman asked the perm master, "Why do you sell candied haws?" The perm master said, "I was perming my hair in the house, and he kept shouting outside: perm!" Can I not hit him if it is burnt? "

17. Dad's colleague's daughter has also been involved recently. She has worked in a Sino-foreign joint venture company for two or three years. Her salary has been raised frequently recently. The daughter told her parents that the boss of the company always dragged her to socialize and said that she would be given a BMW and a house. Parents say that the daughter has made a promise to find a rich husband. Tell her to hurry home. You are not young. It is time.

18. Junior high school. One day in the corridor, our head teacher chatted with the head teacher next door. Head teacher next door: Miss Li, how did your class do in this exam? Head teacher: Ah ... terrible. Head teacher next door: By the way, how many people are there in your class? Head teacher: Er ... I happened to pass by at this time. Me: Good morning, Miss Li! Head teacher: Dabao, come here for a moment. Me: Er ... What are the teacher's instructions? Head teacher: What did you get in this exam? Me: Forty-three ... Head teacher: Oh. Then he turned to the head teacher next door and said, there are forty-three students in our class.

19. My wife just got her driver's license and cheered and said to me, "Husband, I will drive to work for the first time tomorrow. What domineering slogan should I post at the rear of the car? " I thought about it and said, "I'm going. Are you going my way too? "

20. Today, I prepared a red envelope for Exam 3 and gave it to the examiner when I got on the bus. The examiner is a little embarrassed! Dare not open it on the spot, he gently said to me: beauty, it's very simple! Take your time! Finally, I had an easy time. . . . There is a piece of A4 paper in the red envelope, which reads: Good people are safe all their lives!

2 1. The police caught a counterfeit money, and the reporter interviewed him in the classroom: Why counterfeit money? Answer: because real money can't be earned! Reporter: ...

A new student in our class is very mature. How old are you? The new high school hasn't issued school uniforms since it started. This guy walked around the school with a cigarette in his mouth and didn't get caught. When I finally went to the toilet, the grade director in his 40 s called him big brother, borrowed a light from him and smoked a cigarette together. ...

23. When I was young, I had a fever of 40 degrees. My father took me to the hospital by bike, and I accidentally fell into the river. I vaguely heard someone calling my dad: get the baby first, what bike! ! !

My uncle was caught stealing apples and had to be locked up for a month. Uncle angrily said to the police: "I just stole 10 Jin of apples, as for it?" The policeman gave him a white look and said calmly, "Once upon a time, there was a monkey who was locked up for 500 years because he stole some peaches."

Brainstorm. Let's go

Who has a birthday every day?