When I was a child, my mother committed suicide. What effect did it have on this child?

Bing Xin's mother, Yang Fuci, was born in 187 1. 19 years old, that is, 18901October 3, she married Xie, a patriotic naval officer in Fujian. Ten years later, on June 5th, 10, the eldest daughter Bing Xin came to earth. Later, Bing Xin's three younger brothers came one after another and formed a warm and harmonious family. In Bing Xin's eyes, her mother Yang Fuci is a very strong woman. My mother was sick and weak since she was a child, and my father was a naval officer. He often went out to sea to explore and rarely went home once a few months. On the one hand, a mother has to endure the pain of being separated from her husband, on the other hand, she has to support her family with her weak body. What Bing Xin remembers best is a story told by her grandfather. At that time, Bing Xin was not born yet, and the Sino-Japanese Sino-Japanese Sino-Japanese naval battle broke out, which shocked China and foreign countries. Xie, my father became the second officer of the gun on Weiyuan ship. In the bloody battle with the Japanese invaders, Weiyuan Ship became the second officer of guns. In the bloody battle with the Japanese invaders, Weiyuan Ship was unfortunately sunk. My father swam to the shore, walked barefoot to Liu Gongdao, and then rushed back to his hometown in Fuzhou from there. At this time, the mother who stayed at home worried day and night. "Because there are many people in the navy in Fuzhou, many people have died. The street where we live is pasted with white couplets today, and the white couplets will be pasted tomorrow. Mom thinks this pair of white door couplets will be posted on our door one day! She quietly bought a box of opium paste and hid it in her body, ready to commit suicide by taking poison once she got the news that her father was killed. " This incident caused a great shock in Bing Xin's young mind, and her mother's eternal love for her father deeply touched her. Later, she realized why she always wore men's clothes and navy uniforms when she was a child. Because the mother pinned her love for her husband on her children, she hoped that Bing Xin would have the strong will of a soldier like her father.

In Bing Xin's eyes, mother is an extremely gentle and demure woman. She never beats or scolds children, but always persuades them with soft words and inspires them with stories. Bing Xin is the only daughter in this family, and her mother regards her as the apple of her eye. Mother and daughter often snuggle together and talk in secret. Xiao Bingxin likes listening to her mother's family history best. Her mother said, "Son, you are much more blessed than me. /kloc-lost his mother at the age of 0/4. Your grandmother got tuberculosis, and she stayed in bed on September 9 that year and never got up. I died on the eighth day of the twelfth lunar month ... since then, I have been a child without a mother. " Xiao Bingxin always cries for her mother's tragic life experience. She is glad to have such a kind mother. Mother is always heavy; Oh, I remember. Staring out the window. When Xin saw her mother's expression, she always hugged her mother, shook her body and cried anxiously, "Mom! Mom! " The awakened mother smiled. Sometimes, when a mother wants to get close to her daughter, she deliberately stays focused. Xin, played by Yu, always jumps into her mother's arms like an innocent little girl. This scene, mother and daughter dating, Bing Xin will never forget. It was not until she came of age that Bing Xin praised her in poetic language: "Mom, you are the sea, and I am just a wave. Although I have a variety of flashes in the lowest space for a while, I will fly into my mother's arms in the shortest time. "

Yes, Xiao Bingxin has been bathed in the gentle and deep ocean of maternal love. Mother's care, like a small spring rain, moistens Bing Xin's childhood heart and accumulates endless feelings. Whenever she writes, this feeling will flow like a clear spring, forming a hymn of maternal love!

In Bing Xin's eyes, mother is also a woman who loves reading and has progressive thoughts. Knife often sighs: "when it comes to books my mother reads, she really reads more than anyone in our family!" " "Mother reading is characterized by extensive reading. She likes reading novels, folk songs, magazines and newspapers, new and old, creative and translated. After finishing her work, she always reads books and often stays up until eleven or twelve in the evening. The next day, when the whole family fell asleep, she got up, finished housework and got used to books. There are always books in her sewing basket.

Mom's favorite is Tianmeng's publications, which contain many fierce anti-Qing remarks. At that time, reading such books and periodicals was in danger of losing your head. Because Bing Xin's uncles are league members, they often secretly take some of these books and periodicals to their mother. After reading it, their mother will send it to other members in disguise. As a result, the mother became a volunteer liaison of the alliance, responsible for delivering information and sending and receiving letters. Bing Xin remembers that on a snowy night when she was eight years old, she helped her mother put dozens of Qiu Tian into a fluffy tube, sealed it with red paper and sent it out. Soon, she received letters from all over the world, which wrote: "The floss is made at home and delicious!" Bing Xin naively asked,' Aren't those books? Mother gave her a gentle squeeze and leaned over her ear and said, "Don't tell." . "Bing Xin sensible nodded and secretly read these books. Although she could not fully understand them, a hazy revolutionary consciousness unconsciously penetrated into her little mind. Later, when the Revolution of 1911 broke out, Bing Xin was only 1 1 year old. Mother eagerly read Shen Bao and excitedly told Bing Xin and her family the news of the revolution. Yao's mother not only changed some jewelry into foreign currency, but also donated it to the insurgents. Influenced by her mother, Bing Xin also donated the 10 lucky money accumulated for many years to the insurgents. In this way, her mother influenced Bing Xin with her words and deeds, making her gradually grow into a young man with progressive thoughts.

Recalling these past events, Bing Xin sincerely praised her mother and said, "She is a typical wife and mother, the protector of her husband and children." She added: "I agree with all kinds of slogans about the women's movement. I just feel a little harsh when I see or hear the slogan "Down with a good wife and a good mother" ... I hope they will bring down some weak and dependent mollusks, not women like my mother. "