My husband is too honest to divorce (my honest husband is very kind to me)

Letter from readers: Hello, Brother Kai, I 1982 divorced at the age of 26. Because a man had an affair and had a child, he tried his best to let me leave home cleanly. I didn't understand at that time, so I divorced.

After the divorce, I returned to my hometown, started clothing, and my business was ok. In the past ten years, I have earned money to buy two houses, opened four stores, talked about love twice, got married 17, and divorced 19. The reason for the divorce is that my business failed, and now my ex-husband wants to make up. He wants to convince me.

So should I get back together?

Kai Zi replied: Hello, girl, if you don't want to get back together with him at all, then I don't think you need to write to ask me. Since you wrote to ask me, I think you should be wavering or have the idea of remarriage.

Of course, it is not impossible to remarry. After all, people can change. Maybe love rat became a warm man from the beginning, which is not impossible. If he really becomes a warm man from love rat, then you two can definitely get back together.

So now you only have a few questions:

First: to determine whether he is getting better now, you should judge whether he is getting better now, whether he has the ability to take good care of you, and whether he can treat you wholeheartedly in the future.

Second: determine the purpose of his reconciliation with you. Does he really have feelings for you and make up with you, or is it because you are in good condition now?

Third: whether you still have feelings for him is very important. Is it possible for you to start over? If you have no feelings, don't even consider whether to continue. Never choose because you are lonely, it will only make you more blind.

Fourth: Will you trust him? Do you dare to believe him? Or, do you think he is worthy of your trust? Are you afraid to start over and just repeat the same mistakes?

Think carefully about the above questions, and then use your own answers to judge whether you can continue.

02.

Letters from readers: Hello, Kai Zi. Married 1 1 year, with a 9-year-old daughter. My husband is very family-oriented, and he loves me very much. He is honest and not good at expressing himself.

Our family was born in poor conditions and was very poor. His mother was in poor health when she took care of our children, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law was very good. I learned the rules of my apprentice, and my mother-in-law was not bad to me. Among his relatives and friends, it is said that he has found a good wife, looks good, is good at treating people, is not melodramatic, and has a good temper (in fact, I have a bad temper, but his tolerance shows that I have a good temper)

When we got married, we had nothing, and our income was similar, ranging from 5 to 7 thousand. We scrimped and saved, bought a house in Chengdu and took care of the children. He has no time to work in the factory or take care of his family. I have a flexible time for beauty treatment, so I have to be responsible for many things, such as picking up and dropping off children, studying and living.

Although I don't read much and graduated from junior high school, I have been studying and improving myself, but I feel more and more tired. My job is the same. Other women earn money and I spend it myself, and my subsidies have to be counted. In other people's homes, my husband is responsible for children's study and education, while in my home, I have to do everything.

I feel more and more unworthy. He is not my type. I didn't marry love, nor did I marry someone with good realistic conditions. I didn't know what kind of life I wanted at first, and the conditions at home were so bad that I didn't dare to look for someone with good conditions to lift my head, so I thought he was honest and wouldn't bully me.

But he is not my type, and now this sense of imbalance is getting heavier and heavier. I don't know how to adjust myself There is no suitable reason to want a divorce, because there is nothing wrong in principle. Please ask brother kai to analyze it. Thank you!

Kai Zi wrote back and said, Hello, I read an article the other day. The wife said that her husband was stingy before marriage and treated her well after marriage. Then someone commented at the bottom. Fortunately, you didn't meet your best friend, otherwise you wouldn't be happy now.

I think this statement is too reasonable.

Most women are particularly sensitive and easily influenced by others.

For example, if you are engaged in the beauty industry, you are in contact with women with good conditions. Maybe you saw that their lives were different from yours. People can spend money on beauty and buy clothes for themselves. You will be psychologically unbalanced. Why do they have money to make themselves better? My money must be taken home.

In addition, in order to achieve success in your industry, everyone will constantly influence each other with the slogan "Women should love themselves", so you will feel that your life is hard and unfair. Maybe when you talk to your young ladies about your husband in the shop, everyone will advise you not to be so stupid and not to work so hard. Being a nanny at home will make your mentality even more unbalanced.

Now I suggest you think about these questions:

Even if divorce, can it really change the status quo? You said that husbands are responsible for children's study and education in other families. How many families do you think there are? Of course, I'm not saying that husbands should not be responsible for children's learning and education, but that each family is divided according to their own actual situation, and both sides are responsible for any family, but the family division of labor is slightly different according to the work, time and ability of both husband and wife. Your husband has no time to take care of his family, so he always rests. Have you discussed with him to participate in the children's study life together? Is it because he doesn't want to participate, or do you want him not to participate? Income subsidizes families. I have to say that most people's income is subsidized by their families. Now that you have bought a house, it's getting better and better. If you don't think you deserve it, you can of course choose to start a new family, but you can be sure that your income will make you better off after divorce. Or, can you meet a better man than him after the divorce? When I say these five points, I don't mean that you can't get a divorce. I just want you to think about it. You have to understand that divorce is easy, but life after divorce may not meet your expectations. Sometimes when people are together, they just spit on each other. Although your little sisters will give you all kinds of opinions, they will not be responsible for your life.

Therefore, it is better to think it over before making a decision. After all, two people have been together for a long time, and their feelings will indeed become more and more dull. There seems to be no passion, so they will think that there is no love, but you also admit that your husband loves you very much.

If he really ignores his family and leaves everything to you, I think you may not think that he loves you very much, so I suggest you think about it before making a decision, or you will regret it.

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(Image from network, deleted)