Huge reward for the funniest joke

The son sleeps with his mother every night. Mom said: When you grew up and married a daughter-in-law, did you sleep with Mom? The son replied: Yes. Mom said: What should you do with your wife? The son said: Let her sleep with her father. After hearing this, my father said excitedly: This child has been sensible since he was a child.

A brother suffered from constipation and could not defecate in the toilet for a long time. When he was trying his best, he saw a brother rush into the toilet like a storm and entered the toilet. I took the seat next to him, and as soon as I walked in, there was a really violent storm. The brother enviously said to the brother: Brother, I envy you so much.

The brother said: Why are you envious? You haven’t taken off your pants yet. ~~

One time when I was playing mahjong on a hot day, the power suddenly went out, so I had to buy candles to continue playing. After half an hour, the heat became unbearable, and one person said: "Let's turn on the electric fan." "It's so hot." Another person said: "Don't turn it on, it will blow out the candle." An American, a Japanese, and a Chinese were all killed by a cannibal tribe while exploring the jungle. They were arrested. But the tribal chief said: "I am in a good mood today and I will not eat you, but you will all have to suffer a hundred blows, but before you get a blow, you can have one wish come true." "

The American was the one who got hit first. He said: "Before I get hit, put a cushion on my butt. "After padding, the boards fell like raindrops; at first, 70 boards were just fine, but after 70 boards, the cushions were smashed, and then the boards were bloody... After the beating, the United States walked away feeling its butt.

Japan After seeing this, the Japanese asked for 10 mattresses. After 1, 2, 3...100, the Japanese stood up, patted their butts, and said it was okay; then they boasted about their ability to imitate and recreate, and said I want to sit back and watch the Chinese show.

The Chinese slowly lay down and said leisurely: "Come on, put the Japanese on my back." "...

A brother went to the restroom and entered the women's restroom by mistake. After entering, he found that there was no urinal and it felt wrong. Fortunately, there was no one in the women's restroom. He walked out as if nothing had happened. . When I was opening the door, I met a girl coming in. The girl looked at him, blushed, lowered her head, turned around and went to the men's room

One day I was getting on the bus. It was too hot and stuffy. I don’t know who farted, and the environment was getting worse. My friend couldn’t bear it, and he didn’t know who it was. There was nothing he could do. Just then, the conductor was asking: “Who didn’t buy a ticket? "My friend suddenly had an idea and said loudly: "The one who farted didn't buy a ticket! "Suddenly, a very fat woman held the ticket high in her hand and said loudly: "I have already bought the ticket! "

A sculpture was completed in a new building of a university: a girl holds a book in her left hand and holds a dove symbolizing peace in her right hand. The school publicly solicited names from students outside the school, and many people's slogans were not satisfactory. A coincidence - reading is useless!

Lost bicycles are a serious problem in school. New cars disappear in the blink of an eye, but sometimes if you are lucky, the lost bicycle will appear again every few days. One day, my dorm roommate Xiao Jing bought a new transmission car. She showed off to everyone she met and said, "I have the latest lock on this car!" "The next day, Xiaojing returned from her evening self-study with a depressed look. She also held a piece of paper in her hand, which said: Don't think there are no experts here. I borrowed the car and will return it to you in a few days. !

A few days later, the thief actually returned the car. Xiaojing was very happy, but she was worried that the car would be "borrowed" again, so she bought it. Ten large locks were used to lock the car tightly, and a note was posted to the thief: See how you can "borrow" it! When Xiaojing went downstairs the next morning, she found that there were five more locks on the car. , there was a note on the lock: Let’s see how you ride!

There were three tadpoles. They went to a restaurant to eat... After waiting for a while, the first dish was served... fried frogs. ..

The three tadpoles sang in unison: I don’t want to, I don’t want to, don’t want to grow up...

One day, Cao Cao captured Liu Bei, Guan Yu, and Zhang Fei. He said to the three of them, each of you go to the orchard and choose a fruit. After a while, Zhang Fei brought out an apple. Cao Cao said that if they could stuff the fruit they brought into their butts, he would let them go. Zhang Fei tried for a while, failed, and was killed.

After a while, Guan Yu came out with three grapes. Cao Cao also said the same thing to him, and Guan Yu began to stuff them... When he stuffed the third grape, Guan Yu suddenly burst into laughter, and the grapes were smashed. was killed. After going down to the underworld, the King of Hell asked Guan Yu: "You are so stupid, why are you laughing? If you don't laugh, you won't die." Guan Yu sighed and said, "I don't want to either! God is jealous of the beauty! When I stuffed the third one, suddenly I saw Brother Liu walking out with a durian in his arms..."

I went to eat at KFC yesterday, and the people in line behind me looked like a couple. They ordered a lot of food, and then sat down. next to me. After sitting down, the girl began to eat voraciously, as if she had been hungry for several days, while the boy nibbled on the French fries one by one, as if he had something on his mind.

Suddenly, the boy put down the fries, moved forward, and asked seriously: "Qingqing, can I chase you?"

Girl Without raising his head, he said directly: "No!"

The boy asked again: "Isn't it possible at all?"

The girl simply said: "It's not possible at all!"

The boy was stunned, looking straight at her, staying there...

At that time, the girl was holding a chicken leg in one hand and a hamburger in the other, and felt that the boy was looking at her. , so he stopped eating, then looked at the boy with pitiful eyes, and whispered: "Then...can I still eat?"

Everyone next to me, including me, laughed out loud, The boy was helpless and hurriedly said: "Eat, eat..."

This girl is so cute...If I don't let her chase her, I will definitely chase her... ..Desperate pursuit! ! ! !

I have always been restless in school. When I was a freshman, I went to self-study for the first time. I would sit in the classroom and feel depressed, and then I would go to the corridor to smoke.

Not long after I lit my cigarette, a PL girl came and asked, "We are studying in self-study now! Why did you run out?"

I said, I came out to smoke out of boredom. ,MM which class are you in? He ran out anyway.

PLMM pointed to our classroom and said, that class!

I was very excited and said, are we in the same class? What, are you depressed too?

She said: Well, a new student in our class ran out during self-study, and I came out to look for him.

I smiled, but it seems that he still can’t sit still. Why are you looking for him? You are not his mother!

MM: There is no way, I am his class teacher!

I was confused at the time...

A minute later, I held back a sentence: Teacher, you look so young...

Phelps won the championship. After 8 gold medals:

How do countries compare breaststroke, backstroke, butterfly, and freestyle in swimming competitions? 100, 200, 400, 1500 resulted in too many gold medals. They were very dissatisfied and asked to increase the number of gold medals in their dominant events.

Brazil proposed:

Football should be divided into 3 people, 5 people, 7 people, 11 people, beach, indoor and grass.

China proposes:

Table tennis should be divided into straight, horizontal, straight doubles, straight singles, and straight and horizontal mixed doubles.

The United Kingdom proposed:

Equestrian should be divided into black horse equestrian, white horse equestrian, red horse equestrian, brown horse equestrian, royal horse equestrian, and zebra equestrian.

Kenya proposed:

Long-distance running should be divided into 10,000 meters, 11,000 meters, 12,000 meters and 13,000 meters. . .

Japan proposed:

All mixed sports for men and women should increase 3p, 4p, 5p, 6p, 7p. . . Group p. . . 500p.

Thailand proposed:

In addition to men’s and women’s events, all the shemale categories should be added

South Korea proposed:

Add one in the future One gold medal should be given to South Korea, because the athletes who won the gold medals are all of Korean descent, or their ancestors are of Korean descent.