Somebody tell me something funny, such as classic quotations, funny replies and so on.

The bad comments I saw on Taobao made me cry with laughter.

1' Wild Hazelnut

Bad comments [Details] Hazelnut shells are very hard. After eating this catty, my teeth almost fell out. In order to increase the weight and charge more postage, I also stuffed a piece of broken iron into the box. 26.12.3 1:51

Explanation: If you look closely at the iron, do you see if there is a screw in the middle? If you look down, there is a seam in the middle, and you can separate it by force along this seam-this broken iron is a special pliers for clamping hazelnut shells for you!

2 ` Item Name: Yida Chewing Gum

Bad Review [Details] I asked for chewing gum, but as a result, I sent a piece that looked like white. It was so sweet that I couldn't eat it. 26.4.4 16:56

Explanation: Oh, my god, that's the white chocolate I gave you. The chewing gum was wrapped in the newspaper below, no. Go and find

3 ` Item name: Maggie's comment on pure cotton compressed paper film * Successful transaction without Alipay

[ Details] Nothing

Explanation: Nothing is nothing! ! What is nothing! ! There is nothing to do for the evaluation! ! What what person! ! Faint! ! !

4 ` Item name: * Earrings * Bird Earrings

Why doesn't it respond when the comments are positive? Try the comments.

explanation: how can it be like this? Hey, your computer can be upgraded: (very, very depressed)

5 ` Item name: crystal ball

Bad comment: the ball is good, why didn't you give me the bottom seat in the photo?

explanation: wrong! That is my LG ashtray.

6 ` platinum-plated necklace *9 yuan ~

My girlfriend's evaluation is "average"

Explanation: buy her a diamond ring and have a look!

7' I have a bad attitude towards praise, but the things are ok, [details]-13: 31 on December 3, 24

Explanation: When did I treat you badly? I don't know if I should say I love you and think my attitude is good! ?

8' comment: I didn't buy it

explanation: alas!

9 ` exquisite chocolate imported from Europe

Bad review [details] The chocolate arrived three days late, and it was all broken when it arrived, which caused me to have a quarrel with my boyfriend at 15: 32 on February 12, 27.

1' mid-evaluation [details] General 28.1.27 23:32

Explanation: Two kinds

11' whipweed-slimming, headache treatment

Bad evaluation [details] Why is your verbena different from others'? 2.2 14:21

Explain: Why do you look different from others?

12' alarm clock/bedside clock/round biscuit clock

Bad review [details] I haven't shopped online for a long time, so I couldn't help buying this watch this time, and I was cheated again. What the hell are you doing? 25.2.13 14:29

Explanation: Ma Sanli said, "I'm just kidding!"

13 ` Item name: 5 grams of preserved plum

Comment [details] Why can't crisp plum turn into preserved plum? It's totally different from what I want. 26.3.19 2:19

Explanation: It's probably been dry for a long time. It's the same and delicious.

14 ` praise: the boss has a good sexual desire and delivers goods quickly. If you want to buy it, you must find such a seller. "Haha

Explanation: My sister, is it a good reputation? A tiny difference, a thousand miles away! ! !

15' Swarovski crystal product

praise: things received. Very satisfied. One question: What's with the disposable lighter in the package? Is it for me? I don't smoke. March 1, 28 15: 41

Explanation: Shh, keep your voice down. Someone has been looking for it at home since afternoon. Just in time to help him quit smoking. I guess he accidentally dropped it while helping to pack it. :)

16 ` praise: I paid 39 for the clothes, but the price tag is 18! ! ! I felt a little uncomfortable. I wanted to give a comment, but I thought about it. It's not easy to do business. I have no other requirements, and I hope the seller can give me a reasonable explanation ~

Explanation: Please read it carefully, that's $18, not RMB.

17 ` Product name: personalized photo album production (the production cycle is about one week)

Bad review "Details": I received it one week later, "I waited until the flowers faded"-Jacky Cheung

"Explanation": I finished it one week later, "I cried till the Great Wall fell down"-Meng Jiangnv

18 ` Product name: Yunnan III.

"explanation": I suggest you buy a third-class audio-visual product, which may look better and make you feel happier!

19 ` Product name: white windbreaker of urban beauty (for ×× garden ticket)

Comment on "Details": Why is the garden ticket limited to two people? If the whole family goes, there will be three people, and if you have friends, there will be four people. You don't mean to embarrass me!

"explanation": I'm always thinking of you. I'm afraid that if you three go to play landlords and four go to play mahjong, how can you go to the garden?

2 ` Product Name: Lottery Winning Collection

Bad Review "Details": The first page of the book doesn't say "After reading this book, you will win millions!" Really? Why didn't I even win the final prize?

"explanation": you certainly haven't read it carefully. The last page of the book says, "If you want to achieve a million dreams, you must do whatever it takes!" . Don't worry, your efforts will be rewarded, not without reporting, but not yet!

21 ` Product name: Korean super cute chewing gum/chewing gum

Praise "Details": Boss, your * * is really great! So cute, my friend wants it, too!

"explanation": sweat! MM I've never seen you face to face, so how can I do that with you? If the word "glue" can't be typed, please add the word "incense" in front of it, for I'm afraid others will misunderstand what I do!

22 ` Product name: Authentic American hickory

Comment

"Details": I thought I said Yuantong, why did you still send it to Shentong?

"explanation": ah, this will do! At that time, I thought you were reminding me not to write your name "Yuan Tong" wrong!

23 Product name: Qingzui Buccal Tablets

Bad review "Details": I heard an advertisement saying-"Want to know the taste of kissing?" I was curious to experience it, and the result was more flavor than sugar. Isn't that obvious?

"explanation": little friend, you are still underage. You want to kiss your classmates. What does advertising have to do with me? Now I have tasted the unreasonable "bad review"

24 ` product name: NIKE Nike casual shorts 4 yuan postage

bad review "details": there is a serious quality problem, I only wore it for a week, and I farted carelessly that day, and my crotch was burst!

"explanation": Who told you to handle it carelessly? Besides, it's so cheap that it can't be compared with the genuine product, and the freight charge of 4 (the fact) is in front of us. What do you want me to say?

25 ` Product name: South Korea's latest fashion body-shaping underwear

Bad review "Details": It's totally different from what you introduced. It's so big, and my husband also said that I look out of proportion!

"explanation": women should have a little opinion, isn't it good to be older? Don't let men master it all at once!

26 ` Product name: French fine rose

Bad review "Details": You lied to me, saying that five flowers represent "sincere appreciation", but I like that girl but call me "half-hearted"!

"explanation": You have to add three red ones and two white ones. It's romantic to say "I love you" and "alone"! It's like Zhang Ailing's Red Rose and White Rose. Can it not be half-hearted?

27' product: mobile phone

Buyer: Boss, do you have any chocolate?

Seller: Yes, Dove's, and Di Chin's

Buyer: I mean the mobile phone! ! !

Seller: Oh, I didn't know I was selling mobile phones until you reminded me.

28' Buyers took a fancy to the seller. .

buyer: is the photo yours? How handsome!

seller: sorry, no counter-offer!

buyer: ......

29' product: selling mobile phones

buyer: boss, please tell me how to tell the difference between this original battery and the assembled battery

seller: if you throw the battery into the fire, the original explosion will be louder

buyer: haha

3' question the bad review of the shopkeeper

seller: don't you think China is a country with many unjust, false and wrong cases? If there is injustice, there will be resistance, and if there is resistance, there will be sacrifice.

31 ` product: selling mobile phones

Buyer: I might as well buy a laptop for such an expensive mobile phone

Seller: That's right. I imagine it must be cool for you to stand in a crowd and open your laptop and listen to the phone next to your ear.

32 ` Product: selling mobile phones

Buyer: Hello?

seller: sorry, I only sell mobile phones!

33 ` Product: selling mobile phones

Buyer: Boss, is the call quality of this mobile phone good?

seller: Samsung's phones are generally good

buyer: I have bought several mobile phones that are not working, so I can't hear what others are saying clearly.

seller: oh

buyer: what do you recommend I buy

seller: hearing aid

34' about express delivery. . . .

buyer: boss, we don't have express delivery here. Is there any way to deliver it faster?

seller: you charter a plane and then airdrop it

35' comment: your mobile phone can't reply

explanation: it's my fault that your mobile phone can't reply

36' praise

buyer: things are very, very beautiful! The seller is very, very stupid

explanation: 5555555 ~ ~ ~ How can you say that about me? It's sad. . .

37 ` praise

Buyer: Brother, your package is so strong! I took it apart for a long time!

explanation: alas, I can't afford to be a younger sister if I don't wrap it firmly! Otherwise, it will be said that our province's gummed paper is too stingy, haha!

38' praise

Buyer: I bought DD surface mail with 4 yuan money, but the seller posted 5 yuan money by courier, and personally made a long-distance call to ask what the spirit is! Communist spirit!

explanation: I ... really don't have time to go to the post office ... Khan

39 ` Item name: Ou Shiman-—3g pearl moisturizing eye cream

Bad comments [details] How to return it?

explanation: it's wrong. I didn't pay the money after I took it, and I didn't deliver it. What about returning it?

4 ` buyer: I'm sorry, JJ, but I have to pay for something until now, which has delayed your laying!

seller: it doesn't matter, ah ~ ~ ~ lay eggs, I don't have that function

buyer: haha, I'm sorry I dialed the wrong number to place an order!

seller: dizzy, I said I don't seem to have that function!

41' should be asking the boss if there is a physical store

MM A: Boss, do you have a corpse shop?

Xiao Cao: Sorry, that is not allowed on Taobao.

42 ` Buyer MM: Is the shopkeeper there?

seller: yes, dear! ~

buyer MM: can you recommend some skin care products suitable for me?

seller: ok, what kind of skin does MM have?

buyer MM: I'm a vixen (pinyin input method, haha)

seller: Khan

43 ` buyer: will you remarry (change the price) soon? I can't wait

seller MM: = =

buyer: hurry up, I'll pay if you remarry

seller mm. Ask my husband

44' buyer first: How about sexual ability?

seller:? Does it matter?

buyer: sorry, there is an extra force word. How is the product performance?

seller: even? Sweat

45 ` Buyer: I want to buy you to help me have a son.

Seller: Ah, what?

Buyer: Oh, I don't know. I want to buy your jade brand-Buddha, bless me to have a son.

Seller: Hehe. Sweat. . .

46 ` buyer: hello, I want to buy the shoes in your store

I: hello, which one do you like? Take a picture

Buyer: Can I buy your shoes with Q coins?

I: No

Buyer: Then I will directly charge your mobile phone according to the price of the goods.

I: faint

seller: yes, I'll give you the address of the album. You can go there and see it. Many of them haven't been put on the shelves in time. ?

buyer: the owner's shoes are beautiful. Why is there a baby in the product picture?

seller: oh, that's my son, not for sale!

buyer (sweating wildly): Yes! You can't sell your own son if you want to! !

48 ` buyer: how many idle grandmothers do you have

seller: /

buyer: I'm sorry to press enter conveniently, but it's milk powder

seller: to my surprise, there is only one idle can of milk powder

buyer: can that can of grandma be cheaper? I bought it.

Seller: I don't sell grandma, just milk powder!