Give some unusual jokes.

Teacher: Xiao Xin, please use "dilemma" to make a sentence. Xiao Xin: I was in a dilemma during the exam. Teacher: Are you in a dilemma because you can't answer the question? Xiao Xin: No, left and right students have different answers, which puts me in a dilemma.

2- A college student was caught by the enemy. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, where are you from? I'll electrocute you if you don't tell me! The college student replied to the enemy's words and was electrocuted. He said, I'm from TV University!

3- Sister: "Little sister, what are you doing?"

Sister: "I am writing to my good friend Dawa."

Sister: "Can you write before school?"

Sister: "It doesn't matter, because Dawa can't read."

4- A hunter went hunting in the jungle with his wife and mother-in-law, walked all day, and camped in the depths of the jungle that night. The next morning, my wife woke up and found her mother gone. She quickly woke the hunter and went out to find someone together. As a result, in the open space not far from the camp, they saw a shocking scene: the mother-in-law and a fierce lion were deadlocked face to face. "What shall we do?" The wife asked in panic. "No need!" Mr. Wang replied: "This lion has provoked the wrong person himself, let it find a way to solve it!" " "

5- Reporter Interview with Panda: What are your wishes in this life? Panda said: Two ideals. First, I have time to see Chinese medicine to cure my dark circles. Second, I just want to take a color photo.

6- When a swimming pool is built in one place, the staff will mobilize everyone to donate. The staff said to an old farmer, what are you going to donate to this swimming pool? The old farmer said, "I donate two buckets of water!" " "

7- Kitten: My mother is a master and my father is a doctor. Xiao Xin: What's the big deal! Kitten: Who are your parents? Xiao Xin: My father is a man and my mother is a woman.

A gecko got lost in front of the securities company. At this time, a big crocodile just crawled over and prepared to eat it in one bite. In desperation, the little gecko hugged the crocodile's leg and shouted, "Mom!" " The crocodile was shocked and then burst into tears: "Son, you just lost half a month in stock trading!" "

9- something seems to be wrong. I lost three wives in three months. "

"What's the matter?"

"The first lady died after eating poisonous straw mushroom."

"What about the second wife?"

"I also ate poisonous straw mushrooms and died."

"What about the three?"

"She refused to eat the poisonous straw mushroom, and died of a broken skull."

10-The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Oh, sorry, not that much."

"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay.

The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"

Boss: "Sorry, there is still no"

"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay again.

On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"

The boss said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today! ! "

The little white rabbit took out the money: "Great, I'll buy two!" " "

The boss said to his secretary, I'll take you to Beijing for a walk these days. You are ready.

The secretary called her husband: I'm going to Beijing to have a meeting with my boss these days. Take care of yourself.

Husband calls his lover: My wife is going to Beijing for business these days. Let's come out and play.

My lover called the little boy who was tutoring his homework: there is no class these days, so I have something to do.

The little boy called his grandfather: Grandpa, the teacher has something to do these days, so there is no need for class. Please play with me.

Grandpa called his secretary: I will play with my grandson these days and I can't go to Beijing.

The secretary called her husband: The boss has something urgent these days, so we won't go to Beijing for a meeting.

Husband calls his lover: I can't come out to play these days, and my wife won't go to Beijing.

My lover called the little boy who was tutoring his homework: I will continue to have normal classes these days.

The little boy called his grandfather: Grandpa, there will be classes these days, so I can't play with you.

Grandpa called his secretary: I'll take you to Beijing for a walk these days. You are ready.

A will kill you

In a primary school, two students are quarreling. A said, "You ... if you scream again, I can call someone!" " ! 」

B said, "You ... you fight! I don't believe this ... "

Then A really went to make a phone call, and when he came back, he put a cruel sentence: "You will know how to die in 30 minutes! ! ! 」

At this time, B was extremely nervous, but he could do nothing. After 30 minutes, the school broadcast: "A classmate of B, you have a visitor, please go to the Academic Affairs Office. 」

"Wow!" b

Although I'm scared, I think I'm in the academic affairs office and I should be fine.

So he went to the academic affairs office, and a blond boy came forward: "Are you so-and-so?" ? 」

B: "This is ..." ... "Sorry to have kept you waiting. Here is 10 Hawaiian pizza with chicken, 5300 yuan. "

Order songs for teachers

Late at night, after correcting the last test paper, Mr. Wang turned on the radio wearily and wanted to listen to music to relax. DJ's voice came from the radio: "All the students in Class X, Grade Three, XX Middle School dedicated this song to their beloved teacher Wang XX, thanking him for giving them countless exercises over the years (especially this year) and precious practice opportunities ..." Hearing this, Mr. Wang's eyes were moist, and his tired face showed a gratified smile. The DJ went on to say, "... now let's listen to this song together, Li Huimin's" You won't have a good result "..." His eyes turned white, foaming at the mouth, and he fell to the ground. ...

Use idioms indiscriminately

One day, Xiaojun wrote a composition in the classroom: My Home.

Xiaojun wrote: "There are three people in my family, my parents and me. Every morning when we go out, the three of us will ... raise darts, go our separate ways, and arrive at the same destination by different routes at night. " Dad is an architect, pointing at the construction site every day; My mother is a shop assistant and comes to the store every day. I am a student, and I am in a daze in the classroom every day. There are three people in my family with the same rotten tastes, and the whole family lives in harmony. But when my grades are not good, my father also fights with each other and cruelly beats me on the ground, while my mother stands by and never acts bravely. "

A healthy baby

After doing homework for half a day, I turned on the radio conveniently, and a gentle voice came out: "... if the skin color pays off and the fluff on my face is tender and soft, it means that it is very healthy ..."

When I heard this, I couldn't help touching my face, looking in the mirror and smiling again. It looked healthy and lovely.

At this moment, I heard the announcer say, "All right, listeners, this time our lecture on pig raising is here ..."

Prank expert

When we were in high school, some teachers were very bad to our students. A group of students have been oppressed for a long time. They are discussing how to punish their teachers. One day, when the teacher was in class, a boy sitting in the back showed a painful expression and groaned gently with his hand over his stomach. The teacher ignored him and went on preaching. In the middle, the teacher just turned to write notes on the blackboard, and the boy suddenly "concave ... wow ...! ! ! "(Vomiting) A boy at the same table poured a bottle of eight-treasure porridge on the boy's table at a very fast speed. When the teacher turned around, he saw that the table was full of yellow and white things. At this time, another boy took out a small spoon, scooped up the things on the table one by one, and said while chewing, "Hey, this guy ate peanuts at noon." The teacher looked at it, said "Wow … concave …" and then vomited wildly.