How to feel inferior and dare not look at others' introversion?

Hello! There are two reasons for not looking into other people's eyes. On the one hand, you are "psychologically sensitive", that is, you are afraid that teachers and students will see through your mind. On the other hand, you think that when you look at others, you are "staring at others" for fear that your eyes will hurt others.

For these two reasons, the first thing I want to tell you is that anyone will be afraid to look others in the eye, not just you. For example, when we associate with the opposite sex, especially our favorite opposite sex and strangers, we always feel unnatural and nervous. It is better to talk comfortably with acquaintances. This is natural. Therefore, you should treat it with a normal heart, don't take it as a major event, just like the change of the weather-conform to nature, talk whenever you want, talk whenever you want, discuss whenever you want, and insist on doing what you should and can do well.

You just need to stop putting pressure on yourself and let nature take its course. There is no need to force yourself to look into other people's eyes. Everyone doesn't like to look into each other's eyes when talking to others, because it will make you feel very stressed and unnatural. Therefore, most people may look anywhere when they speak, and they can only look at each other's faces to show courtesy and respect, just look at his face. You don't have to look at your eyes, and you don't have to look all the time. It's okay to read it once in a while to show that you are listening. Children need to talk and discuss things, not talk straight in front of each other. Tell yourself that speaking is only a tool to do things, not an opportunity to show yourself.

Every time you need to talk, don't always think that you are afraid to look each other in the eye. Just think about telling the other party the thing itself, and don't think too much about your performance during the conversation. In short, let nature take its course and don't ask yourself deliberately.

It is difficult for people to look directly into each other's eyes and stare into each other's eyes. Even if we do, it can't last more than 20 seconds. Blinking, looking at the bridge of the nose and flashing eyes will help us avoid looking directly into other people's eyes. This in itself is an important psychological phenomenon in interpersonal relationships, not a disease. Instead of asking "why can't I look into other people's eyes", I should ask myself "why do I mind not looking into other people's eyes"-this is a psychological problem. Our "mind" about a certain behavior often leads to anxiety and fear. The more I feel afraid to look into other people's eyes, the more I can't, forgetting that no normal person will always stare into other people's eyes. So the real solution to the problem is to find out the deep-seated reasons of the mind, let yourself relax, ignore this behavior, and naturally get better.

Secondly, we often say that "eyes are the windows to the soul", which means that you are friendly, sincere, respectful and trusting to others. What you show in your eyes is friendliness, sincerity, respect and trust. On the contrary, if you are unfriendly to others, …, naturally your eyes will show accordingly. So, as long as you are friendly and sincere in your communication with others, and … then we should believe that our eyes show our inner expression.

Finally, to solve your problem, I suggest you adopt the following three methods:

First, when looking at each other, you can look at each other's nose, so that others can feel that you are looking into their eyes without feeling uncomfortable.

Second, when you get up every day, first look at yourself in the mirror and look at those eyes in the mirror. They are so clear and soft that they learn to appreciate themselves instead of blaming themselves. Learn to look at others, pay attention when you look, and say to yourself in your heart, "I have nothing to be ashamed of, and I am not afraid of being looked at." When looking at others, imagine that the information revealed by others' eyes is not harsh, but kind and friendly. Treat others as your favorite animal, how much you like it, and it is not hostile to you. Have the courage to face up to yourself, start from the smallest place, start with short eye contact, and do eye contact exercises with good friends. It is normal for us to experience nervousness and fear in the process of eye contact practice. We should not always think about how to get rid of this fear, but tolerate the fear reaction in training. Even if you are afraid again, you should endure the pain, do what you want and concentrate on the process. No matter how you feel, no matter how uncomfortable you are, just do what you have to do, as long as you can find yourself happy and relaxed.

Third, systematic desensitization therapy can be used-first sit in a comfortable seat and take a deep breath regularly (breathing at four thousandths-"one thousandth, two thousandths, three thousandths and four thousandths"); Exhale meditation), let the whole body relax. When you are completely relaxed, imagine communicating with your parents, brothers and sisters, and look at their heads and faces with your eyes (the more vivid the scene, the more realistic it is). If you feel nervous and anxious, stop and take a deep breath and relax yourself again. When you are completely relaxed, re-imagine communicating with your parents, brothers and sisters, and look at their heads and faces with your eyes. If you feel nervous and anxious and dare not watch their scenes happen again, stop again, then relax, and so on, until you imagine communicating with your parents, brothers and sisters and look at their heads and faces with your eyes, you can look at their heads and faces naturally and freely. Next, you replace your imagination with your familiar classmates and friends. If you feel nervous and anxious, you should stop imagining and take a deep breath to relax yourself again. When you are completely relaxed, you should re-imagine the scene of your failure just now. If this happens again, you should stop, then relax, and so on, until you communicate with your familiar classmates and friends and look at their heads and faces with your eyes, then you can look at their heads and faces naturally and freely. Next, imagine the communication between superiors and strangers. Then put this situation into real life step by step. By using the above ways and methods, you can completely correct the situation of "not looking directly into people's eyes" and finally reach the level of natural harmony in communication with people.

These are just some of my views and suggestions. Your friend Yang Yonglong asks you to criticize for reference.