One-liners in life, I struggled with fat and almost didn't sacrifice.

1. How can you lose weight if you are not full?

2. You told me to roll, and I rolled, and you told me to come back. Sorry, I rolled away.

3. Explaining is covering up, and covering up is telling stories.

4. Earning money to sell cabbage, with the heart of selling white powder.

5. Fall in love no matter how ugly you are, and talk about the world full of love.

6. I like making friends, especially girlfriends.

7. Simplicity means that those with wings are angels, and those without wings are idiots.

8, adults are uncomfortable, and they are not adults.

9. When someone pretends to be cool, I always bow my head. It's not that I'm well-cultivated, but that I'm looking for bricks.

1. The ship naturally sinks when it hits the bridge.

11. I can resist anything except temptation.

12. Do all the bad things you can while you are young. There are only a few years left.

13. I haven't been in the Jianghu for a long time. There are always legends about me in the Jianghu.

14. Say it out loud if you love me, and keep it in your heart if you hate me all your life!

15. "Happiness" guide: There are no patients at home, no relatives in prison, no enemies outside, no villains in the circle, no bad people around, seemingly no lovers, people who get promoted, acquaintances who do things, philosophers who laugh and laugh, people who get together, people who drink tea, servants who do housework, people who take photos, and people who have small talk.

16. I can't play piano, chess, painting and calligraphy, so I'm tired of washing and cooking.

17. You must be "Qiu Gao". I'm so angry with you.

18. There is no windtight wall and no beam that can't be hanged.

19. Leading cadres don't drink and have no friends. Middle-level cadres don't drink and have no information at all; Grassroots cadres don't drink, and there is no hope at all; Discipline inspection cadres don't drink, and there is no clue; Ordinary people don't drink and have no happiness at all; Brothers don't drink and have no feelings at all; No drinking between men and women, no chance at all!

2. People are worried about housing, developers are worried about selling houses, entrepreneurs are worried about accounting offices, producers are worried about box office, officials are worried about their second wives, corrupt class houses, men are worried about private houses, women are worried about their breasts, the elderly are worried about their hearts, they are worried about renting houses for work, they are worried about wards in hospitals, maternity rooms and new houses for marriage.

21. I will help you solve the problems that Confucius can't solve.

22. I'm not a fortune teller in the square, so I can't talk so much as you like.

23. Officials talk nonsense, experts talk nonsense, businessmen tell lies, stars talk nonsense, rich people talk crazy and poor people talk angry words.

24. Hold the child by the hand and drag it away. If the child doesn't leave, he will continue to be towed away if he is dizzy.

25. Marry a man like the national football team. They take care of their families and insist on not traveling far in Asia for decades. Such men should be cherished.

26. Summer is just not good. When you are poor, you don't even have to drink the northwest wind.

27. I struggled with fat and almost didn't sacrifice.

28. I prayed to Jesus for a solid and stable life. He thought about it and said, let's talk about world peace first!

29. Life means being born and living. Classic wisecracks _ online wisecracks _ complete collection of wisecracks

1 If one day I become a hooligan, please tell others that I am innocent

2 Although I believe in the vows of eternal love, I may not believe in you ~~

3 Life is like a play, and the play is like life, so I suddenly look back; Being alive is a kind of pressure.

4 a tree without its skin will die, and a woman without shame will be invincible.

5 Your ugliness has nothing to do with your face.

6 there are always a few mistakes in the long road of life.

undressed, I am an animal; undressed, I am devil wears prada.

7 I never write typos, but I write generic words.

8 it's not that I was careless, but that I did it on purpose. I can't give you happiness, but I can give you comfort!

9 no matter how great the truth is, it will become a cliche if you talk too much.

1 now I know why pants should be designed with a pocket, because no one took my hand and walked away by myself.

11 Those who work in public institutions are called iron rice bowls, and those who work in private companies are called disposable tableware.

12 distance does not produce beauty, but a third party.

13 So who wants to be buried in my ancestral grave after death?

14 There are always a group of invisible friends lying on your friends list like dead people. Occasionally, they cheat corpses and sometimes change their epitaphs.

15 You're happy because I'm happy, I'm happy because you're happy, I'm sad because you're thin, I'm thin because you're sick,

I smiled because you're strong, and I'm rich because I sold you

Pig!

16 don't let too many yesterdays occupy your today!

17 Breaking up means not loving. Those high-sounding reasons are not to make each other feel better, but to make themselves feel better!

18 After reading Lust, Caution, a monk said it was boring, and others asked; What is boring, the monk said; Religion is boring!

miss 19, I'm sorry, I'm not handsome. But not every woman has a chance.

2 The storm is gathering dark clouds. Between the dark clouds and the sea, there is a petrel, who matches us and lets us meet here, so that we can have a romantic affair ~

21 At first, women were not given, but later, women were urgently needed!

22 Married men and women are overjoyed.

23 Money is a dark hole, and affection, friendship, affection and loyalty will all disappear without a trace.

24 The procedure for attending a memorial service is often to receive a profound life education first, and then everyone will smoke, drink and play cards together.

25 if you want to test my patience, please prepare your patience first.

26 Nongfu Spring is a little sweet, and women talk a little.

27 people who said they had a previous life were lying to themselves; People who say that there is a next life are lying to others.

28 what is birth and death? Live well, get old slowly, get sick late, and die quickly.

29 if you see the shadow in front of you, don't be afraid, it's because there is sunshine behind you.

3 If there is no wind, the clouds will not move;

fish can't swim without water;

If there were no sun, the moon would have no light;

without you,

stupid people wouldn't exist.

31 give me some sunshine and I will rot.

32 I suddenly thought of a question, is the walnut caught in the door still nourishing the brain?

33 Give me a girl, and I can create a nation.

34 You look infertile!

it's summer, and girls can wear skirts, but not over their knees!

36 The latest definition of tourism is to go from one's own tired place to another's tired place.

37 We have a little disagreement: she wants me to turn dung into gold, and I want her to treat gold like dung.

38 when I became a swan, you were still an egg!

39 when a woman sees something she likes, she can't see the danger.

4 if you burn incense for one year, you can meet incense for three years, and you can cherish incense for ten years.

So, for the happiness of my next life, I would like to convert to Christ!

41 don't perfunctory me, you can't afford it.

42 The iron fences on a university campus are all pointed, and the warning signs on them are as follows:

If a boy accidentally turns over, he will become a girl

If a girl accidentally turns over, she will become a woman

43 The ideal is full and the reality is very skinny.

44 If a man is reliable, a sow will climb the tree.

45 you know my length, and I know your depth.

46 as long as it's not dirty, we are the mainstream!

47 don't fool me with the' 83 xo, have a bottle of this year.

48 The so-called unsuitability for children actually means that adults have moved to keep the danger of making mistakes for themselves.

49 you can lead the industry with foresight, catch up with it after knowing it, or be eliminated unconsciously.

5 holding a lover's hand is equivalent to returning to eighteen ninety-nine;

Holding the hand of a female classmate, I regret that I didn't do it that year;

holding my aunt's hand found that I had held the wrong hand before.

51 Beauty is not discounted. Sister is called beauty, and sister is called discount!

52 I prayed to Jesus for a steady and stable life. He thought about it and said, let's talk about world peace first ...

53 Four weaknesses: the boss's kidney, the manuscript of the three lectures, the tears of the young lady and the table of the statistics bureau.

54 I took the floppy disk to the refrigerator and froze it all day, and it turned into a hard disk! In this way, I have another hard disk.

55 I'm in a daze, but I'm not here now. If you are more dull, look down.

56 There are only young mistresses who don't work hard, and there are no families that can't be separated.

57 Your eyes are like the bright moon in the sky, one is the first day, and the other is the fifteenth.

58 if you don't study for a day, no one can see it. If you don't study for a week, you will be rude at first. If you don't study for a month, you will lose your IQ to pigs.

59 I planted a bunch of girlfriends in the spring, and now it's autumn. Gee, nothing has been harvested ~~

6 wallets. What happened to your wallet? Answer me about your wallet. Why have you lost weight again? Wake up.

61 men are poor. They work hard to earn money, and it is inevitable to hand in money. It is also dangerous to have a lover.

62 I don't miss my wife, but she always thinks of me.

63 how far your thoughts are, how far you roll; You can roll as fast as the speed of light.

64 men are lustful, so they can't stand the temptation; Women are easy to say, so they can't stand loneliness.

65 the real leadership lies not in how many gentlemen you command, but in how many villains you control.

66 I will be reborn as a woman in my next life and then marry a man like me.

67 tell me, do you want to die or don't want to live?

68 I often eat garlic, onions and radishes to cultivate my aura. Now, I am full of aura up and down.

69 Picking up girls is like hanging up QQ. Coax her for 2 hours every day, and it will soon be sunny.

7 yours is mine, mine is mine!

71 If I want to sweep the floor, I will never brush the dishes. If I want to brush the dishes, I will never sweep the floor. Do both? You treat me like an alien! One-liners

1. Cut to pieces, and don't paste your head.

2. If you can't cross the river, don't blame your crotch for the water.

3, people die than people, and goods have to be thrown away.

4. If you step on a foot, there is no good cake!

5. I have never been a soldier or a bandit!

6, weasels lay mice, a nest is not as good as a nest.

7. When a crow falls on a pig, no one should say who is black.

8. itchy skin is not terrible, but itchy heart is terrible!

9. It doesn't matter if your head is empty. The key is not to get into the water.

1. The meat on the belly will only accumulate, not lose weight.

11. Garbage is exported and exported.

12. Weight is like a chicken's ass, and it grows every year!

13. I'd rather hit a wall than face it at home.

14. You are crazy, your breath is bigger than beriberi.

15. Once the seas dried up and the rocks crumbled, it was hard to get together and break up.

16. There is no limit to learning the sea, but there is a shortcut in the mountains.

17. I looked at you yesterday, and now my eyes still hurt.

18, 3 cents to buy two rotten eggplant, expensive or cheap is not a commodity.

19. As a typical failure, you are really successful!

2, radish eggplant a basket of vegetables, whose children do not love.

21. There's no way to get it, and it doesn't take much effort to get it!

22. whoever delays me for a while, I will make him regret it all his life.

23. Sleeping is the best tool to test a teacher's teaching level.

24. There are no constant promises, only endless lies.

25. Your 3-degree smile on the corner of your mouth can't be searched by Baidu.

26, don't digress so far, who is sure that you can live to that day.

27. What is your vital capacity? You can blow cow B so big.

28. I have never been cheated, because none of the people cheated me.

whether cycling is fashionable or not depends on whether you are really poor.

3. Sows actually climb trees, when pigs think so.

31. My ideal is to be a bathing teacher of human soul.

32. Who said that tofu can't kill people? Try changing frozen tofu next time.

33. The early bird gets the worm, and the early worm is eaten by the bird.

34. People like you can only live for two episodes in a series!

35. If you leave first, don't blame me for turning my back on you.

36. God will certainly forgive me, because that is his profession.

37. Don't look for me if it's nothing, and don't look for me if it's something.

38, the world is so wonderful, but I am so impatient, is it good?

39. Being talented is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

4. He who tells the truth is black and blue. Those who tell lies are covered in Kirara.

41. Phoenix Satellite TV, which is seriously anti-Italian, cuts in TV dramas when broadcasting advertisements!

42. Regret is that you lost it when you deserved it, but you didn't lose it when you lost it.

43. After studying for more than ten years, I think kindergarten is better!

44. Happiness is a comparative level. You can't feel it until something is at the bottom.

45. Only by looking at others with harsh eyes can we see their shamelessness.

46. There are many ways to destroy friendship, and the most thorough one is borrowing money.

47. Your future depends on your dreams now, so go to sleep!

48. God said: Don't forget to take an umbrella when you go out. I will water the flowers later.

49. After this village, there will be no such store. After eating this steamed stuffed bun, there will be no such stuffing.

5. Only when you hold your son's hand can you know that he is ugly, and his face is full of tears. If he doesn't go, I will go.

51. Some idol dramas are so pure that they really have no acting skills.

52. No matter how bad the mud is, just turn to the wall.