Ten tips on how to find topics with girls

Introduction: How do you chat when you meet a girl you like? What are the communication skills? Many boys don’t know how to find topics with girls, so when chatting with girls, it is easy to make the atmosphere awkward. Here I will teach you some chatting skills to help you get rid of the embarrassment of chatting with girls.

Ten tips on how to find topics with girls

Chat method 1. If you are classmates or grew up together, you can talk to her about your childhood *** The same kindergarten, the same teacher in elementary school, the same classmates in middle school or the same hobbies in college. If you are strangers, you can talk about your common ambitions or your respective hobbies. Of course, boys must learn to listen, because such topics can open the most closed gate in her thoughts and emotions.

Chat method 2. Whether two people meet for the first time or have known each other for a long time, they must remember not to overcompliment girls, especially beautiful girls. Boys doing this will often have negative consequences. Counterproductive effect. For most girls, she will feel that your smooth talk is an unreliable boy, and a hungry boy will turn her off, and she will feel that you are just trying to impress others.

Chat method 3. When dating and chatting with girls, be more relaxed and don’t be too rigid. After all, boys can only show their authenticity and confidence when they are relaxed, while girls naturally like to be more confident. , A bolder boy. Of course, overconfidence is arrogance, so boys must grasp the relationship between self-confidence and arrogance. Confident men are reliable, while arrogant men tend to be annoying to girls.

Chat method 4. Most girls like boys who have strong control ability, especially girls who are born with a little girl mentality. During the relationship, they are actually testing whether you can control her. Ability, does she feel secure enough when she entrusts you with her life? Of course, if you don't have the strength or potential she needs and just show machismo, girls will slowly become disgusted.

Chatting method 5. If a boy cannot behave in a gentlemanly manner, he must pay attention to the necessary social etiquette. Especially when two people are talking happily, they must be careful not to get too carried away. Pay attention to the non-verbal cues a girl gives you, such as her spitting when she avoids you, or some abrupt language that makes her feel uncomfortable. There will be facial expressions or body language cues, so pay attention to receiving the signals.

Chat method 6. Girls are often attracted to boys with humorous language. Such boys often make girls feel charming and attractive. However, humor does not mean being funny, and humorous language does not mean being a master of dirty jokes. Therefore, boys should use words and deeds that make a girl happy to tease her laughter nerves, and spend more thought and wisdom to romantically show her the most exciting or interesting empathy.

Chat method 7. If the girls on the date really have their eyes on each other, it is also necessary for the boy to use some ambiguous or provocative language to test. In other words, the conversation must slowly become ambiguous and The easiest way to be more interesting, of course, is to flirt with her just the right amount. Sometimes, the love games played with girls on the college playground can also be used to date girls.

Chat method 8. Chatting with girls requires certain psychological knowledge. To avoid talking about topics that girls find boring, you should understand the girl’s preferences in advance and avoid asking her questions in an interview style. Therefore, use appropriate language to express your views on her, and use appropriate methods to elevate the chat topic to the level of each other's private topics. For girls, any boy who can talk to a private level is regarded as a confidant.

Chat method 9. Don’t deliberately hide your personality in order to please the other person. Most girls don’t like to see a boy who wears a mask all day long. This will make her feel unreal. Girls like you to boldly express your opinions or likes and dislikes. This is your aesthetic sense and it is also the yardstick for her to measure whether each other is suitable. So don't worry, feel free to talk about anything and anyone you like.

Chat method 10. Unless you and she are childhood sweethearts who grew up together, it is still necessary to maintain an appropriate sense of mystery in front of her. Let her feel that your heart also needs her to pass through. Work hard and win slowly.

In real life, the more humble and impersonal a man is in pursuing her, the more likely he will be kicked away by her. The same goes for girls. Things that are easy to get often don’t know how to cherish.

How to become a person who can chat and speak

"Being able to chat" and "being able to speak" have always been the most important skills. In work and life, all kinds of things are inseparable from using language to express thoughts and share emotions. I think the so-called "being able to speak" does not mean to pick out what others want to hear, but to be able to better understand other people's thoughts and express one's own wishes appropriately. Learning this skill well will be of great help whether it is in love, interpersonal relationships or in the workplace.

1. Listen & Master the Rhythm

All the guys who are annoying when talking have one common trait, which is "complete disregard for other people's feelings."

I believe that many people have encountered "torture-type" interlocutors. Looking through the chat history between you and him, 90% of the 10 conversations were him asking you various questions, ranging from where your parents work to your income and private life. This "unique communication method" gives you the illusion of being captured and interrogated by the enemy.

In addition, I also know some "performative" talkers. They basically don't give you a chance to speak. They talk endlessly about how awesome they are throughout the whole process, and then give you a set of life principles. It's just annoying to the point of no end. They do not need normal communication, but eagerly turn every conversation into a stage and give everyone a free talk show, just to satisfy their fanatical desire for performance.

Of course you can ask questions, but you must grasp the boundaries of frequency and privacy; don’t talk about yourself endlessly, but give the other party some opportunities to speak. The rhythm of conversation is a very important thing, it determines whether you can communicate happily. By the way, if you don't hate the other person, try smiling and keeping a friendly expression.

Before any conversation, please remember to listen to the other person instead of asking random questions.

2. Don’t complain, be tactful

Perhaps the trend of complaining is too strong, so everyone began to think that "complaining" is a cool thing.

Sometimes, it’s quite fun to watch a joke, but when it’s my turn, it’s not the same at all. Especially if you are complained about by someone who is not close enough, you will probably be quite angry. In real life, except for comedians, complaining will not make you look funny, but will make people think you are "lack of manners and education." The annoying thing about complaining is that you sprinkle a lot of salt on the other person's pain points just to show "hit the nail on the head and cheap fun." It can't help you solve any problems. On the contrary, it may make things look worse.

Even in the United States where movies like "Broke Girl" were made, well-educated young people speak very tactfully and politely. In life situations, everyone tends to "May I ask your name?" instead of "What is your name?"; when boys pay for a treat, they often say "I will take care of it", please pay attention to "take care" "This usage.

If you want to be considered a well-behaved person, then you must use more honorifics and thanks. When asking others for help, say "please", "Sorry for your trouble", "I don't know if you Convenience" and other polite expressions. When the other party has contributed to the project, say more, "Thank you for your efforts in XX..."; when rejecting other people's requests, you can be firm, but use euphemistic wording. You can say, "It's really great." I'm sorry, I really can't help with this matter. Would you like to consider other methods, such as..." In short, don't leave without saying anything, make the other person feel that he is valued and respected.

3. Accurately understand other people’s messages

The reason why many people are annoying and miss the point is often because they cannot accurately understand the messages conveyed by others. , or are so arrogant that they no longer bother to understand others.

When others say something to us, they are actually sending us a message. Before giving back this information, it is necessary for us to analyze and process this information.

First of all, you have to judge the other person’s mood. Is he happy, depressed, or in urgent need of comfort? Secondly, you have to pause for a moment and refine in your mind what the key points of the other person’s words are. Also, why did he say this and what was his motive. The next question is, what problem does the other party want you to solve and answer?

Using this method may be a bit tiring at first, but if you keep thinking about it, you will find that your speaking ability will improve in a short period of time. Get improved. In the final analysis, the improvement of expression ability comes from thinking.

4. Express your views accurately

If A borrows money from you and you reluctantly say "yes", the other party will be happy, but you may not be so; the affectionate EX begs you to get back together. , if you say "no problem", the other person will be ecstatic and go home and have a good sleep. From then on, your nightmare begins.

Before speaking, don’t agree to something you don’t want to do just to make the other person happy; especially when facing an important commitment, please touch your heart and ask, “What do I want this to be like? "What do I really want?" You can make the other person feel comfortable with your attitude, but when it comes to specific decisions, you must follow your heart.

After clarifying your position, you need to sort out the complicated ideas in the order of 1, 2, and 3 in your mind. When the ideas and context become clear, you can try to pass the information to the other party one by one.

In short, think clearly before speaking, don’t rush to talk nonsense and make promises, and don’t throw your messy thoughts at others. Organized expression is like a popsicle in the 37° summer, bringing people a refreshing pleasure; when you use organized expression in the workplace, colleagues and bosses will feel that you are more professional and trustworthy.

5. Acknowledge the other person’s feelings

When the other person feels bad, pretend to be cold and say a few words: “This is how life is” and “This is yours” "Choice" is really annoying. Who doesn't understand these truths, and who can't say them? Sometimes, when friends seek advice from us or talk to us, it is actually a sign of their trust in us. Thinking that the vulnerability of this moment is something that can be shared with us.

No matter whether you can do something for him, you must at least affirm his emotions first, and don't be stingy with comforting words and warm hugs.

Sometimes, "being recognized" is the best healing medicine; for friends who are in trouble, a sentence of "I understand you" and "Don't cry, I'm here" can make them feel better than any reprimand. comfort.

6. I’m not teaching you to be flattery

Some people may ask worriedly, does “learning to speak” mean giving up your true self?

My answer Yes, when you were a baby, you cried non-stop. Now that you know how to restrain yourself, does that mean you have lost yourself? Of course not, everyone evolves or degenerates over time and experiences, and different stages will have different effects. you.

We are no longer adolescent children. It is quite childish to use the excuse of "I don't want to lose myself" to avoid correcting ourselves. It is indeed important to act cool, but it is better not to act cool on key things.

I do not agree with the values ??of flattery and flattery, nor do I encourage everyone to do such things. "Learning to speak" does not emphasize this. It emphasizes caring for and understanding others, and expressing oneself accurately and methodically. It’s a life-enhancing skill, like learning to cook or learning to play the cello.

Whether you believe it or not, language is a very important thing after all. It has the power to warm your heart, but it also has the ability to make you feel absolutely miserable. It is unpredictable and magical. Through communication with friends and loved ones, we gradually begin to believe that "I am not alone in this world." Therefore, please cherish this special human skill, master it and treat it seriously.