2020 Year of the Horse Spring Festival Gala Classic Lines

1. "I've Disturbed You"

It's like high jumping in the toilet - too much (feces).

Is the dolphin sound the sound you made with your buttocks during the audition?

Powder fractures throughout the body? Then you are a scumbag.

My child, your degree is in prenatal education.

You are a grandson, and so is your grandson. Why are you such a grandson?

He has a flat face and looks like a manhole cover.

You let people pedal once a day, you are a bicycle.

It’s okay, you’re not afraid of boiling water.

Your best score in the draft was 5,000 to 4,900, and you were nicknamed "Knockout Man".

I don’t think you can make it into the top three in a two-person competition.

I am a premature baby, nine months premature.

2. "To help or not to help"

You can walk now, but you are walking according to the schedule.

If you talk like this, can we still play together in the future?

Auntie, where are you going to blow up the bunker?

I am an old lady lying here for a long time, you think I am doing the work.

Can I still be rescued?

I am talking about the bumper and you are talking about the root of the tail...

At this time, are you still comparing it to three meters to two meters? Does that make sense!

Auntie, you are so naughty, do your family members know?

When a person falls, he can still be raised up; when a person’s heart falls, we cannot help him up even if we want to.

3. "What can I say about you"

Children always kiss their mother. When they see their mother, they always say, "Mom, I'm hungry, Mom, I'm thirsty, Mom, where are my clothes?" Dad can only say one sentence: Dad, where is my mother?

I applied for a visa to go to Thailand but there was no news for a long time. It turned out that it was written as Qin.

When is the best time to buy a house? The year before last!

You put on stockings just to prove how elastic they are!

My mood when I go to work every day is heavier than when I go to the grave!

Five elements are missing in my life.

4. "When people come with courtesy"

Talking about money hurts feelings. Talking about feelings hurts money.

I am planning to hold a wedding with your wife.

Please press one for the first marriage, press two for the second marriage, and press three for the third marriage.

Hello! Please hang up.

5. "That's Just Me"

I'm not a potato, I'm a kiwi. Is there any difference? Kiwis are hairy.

I am a writer, but not Mo Yan. I keep my mouth shut.

My friends and I were shocked.

When your hair grows to your waist, let’s be friends. 2021 Spring Festival Gala Classic Lines

1. "I'm Disturbing You"

It's like jumping too high in the toilet (feces).

Is the dolphin sound the sound you made with your buttocks during the audition?

Powder fractures throughout the body? Then you are a scumbag.

My child, your degree is in prenatal education.

You are a grandson, and so is your grandson. Why are you such a grandson?

He has a flat face and looks like a manhole cover.

You let people pedal once a day, you are a bicycle.

It’s okay, you’re not afraid of boiling water.

Your best score in the draft was 5,000 to 4,900, and you were given the nickname "Knockout Lang".

I don't think you can make the top three in a two-person competition.

I am a premature baby, nine months premature.

2. "To Help or Not to Help"

You can walk now, but you are walking according to the schedule.

If you talk like this, can we still play together in the future?

Auntie, where are you going to blow up the bunker?

I am an old lady lying here for a long time, you think I am doing the work.

Can I still be rescued?

I'm talking about the bumper and you're talking about the base of the tail

It's already here, are you still comparing it to the three-meter-two-meter one? Does that make sense!

Auntie, you are so naughty, do your family members know?

When a person falls, we can still help him up; when a person’s heart falls, we cannot help him up even if we want to.

3. "What can I say about you"

Children always kiss their mother. When they see their mother, they always say, "Mom, I'm hungry, Mom, I'm thirsty, Mom, where are my clothes?" Dad can only say one sentence: Dad, where is my mother?

I applied for a visa to go to Thailand but there was no news for a long time. It turned out that it was written as Qin.

When is the best time to buy a house? The year before last!

You put on stockings just to prove how elastic they are!

My mood when I go to work every day is heavier than when I go to the grave!

Five elements are missing in my life.

4. "Being polite when you are there"

Talking about money hurts feelings, talking about feelings hurts money.

I am planning to hold a wedding with your wife.

Please press one for the first marriage, press two for the second marriage, and press three for the third marriage.

Hello! Please hang up.

5. "That's Just Me"

I'm not a potato, I'm a kiwi. Is there any difference? Kiwis are hairy.

I am a writer, but not Mo Yan. I keep my mouth shut.

My friends and I were shocked.

When your hair grows to your waist, let’s be friends. The most classic and funny lines of the 2020 Spring Festival Gala

You shocked me to death

Don’t have any requirements for your hair?

My husband’s name is Chicken

He manages Bauhinia City=urban management

The history museum is: From Monkey to Man

Good food Don't be afraid of being late.

You have walked out of a women's football team this week.

There are several in their 80s. . . Oops, they are all born in the 80s.

The Somali pirates are robbing you, right?

Neighbors, praise me for my "wet" demeanor

I am in the third grade, you are in the sixth grade, I am in the sixth grade, and we are in the same class.

Although I lost a crooked neck tree, I gained a big forest.

It’s okay, I have such a big plate of dumplings, but I still care about your piece of garlic. Just stay.

There are still three hours left, and the machine will start to dust

There is no grass anywhere in the world, so why bother looking for it around you? The quantity is not much, not to mention the quality is not good. .

In the years without you, I had a girl accompany me every 30 years.

Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai were also classmates. They were both butterflies, but they still flew away.

You have finished your Ph.D., I am a martyr.

Put on my black vest, President Obama.

The most painful thing in life is that money has not been used up after death.

The most painful thing in life is when you run out of money before you die.

Chinese name: Xiao Shenyang English name: XIAOSHENYANG (muffled sound

If you don’t let me sing, I won’t dare you to serve the food.

I thank you Your eighth generation ancestor, I will never let you go even if I am a ghost.

You haven’t ordered one yet, so why don’t you ask us to give you one as a gift?

You said you didn’t click on any of them, but I still posted one.

Question: "Call your boss here." Answer: "No".

You are quite graceful.

Scottish Flirting.

Dong Qing said: "Mr. Ma's son Ma Ji..."

Dear, I am at the bottom of the sea.

The driver’s license I gave the police belonged to Bai Yansong.

Village chief, why are you sitting on the box again? Do you want to be the mayor of the township?

Society has progressed, trains have increased in speed, and Yao Ming’s son can walk when he gets off the train.

You want to possess me, I want to possess you.

There is an old man on the camera who looks very much like you. Take a closer look, Samaranch.

I dare to fly a plane while drunk.

If you don’t even know how to reason, how can you explain it clearly?

Those who drink 1,35 and drink for free will go, and those who go 2,46 and beer will go.

If you want to ask me which one I am, the flowery little nanny.

This is the spirit that goes from nose to face.

The police have guns, and the security guards also have sticks.

We security guards are like a gray landscape in the capital. Our security cement dust.

Why is his brother such a bastard? Who is his brother? You are an excellent young man.

I am a security guard in my heart, cow. . .

Thirty years ago, people ate vermicelli, but now "fans" eat people.

This dog bit you, he is very proud.

How important it is to master a foreign language. . . (Dog barking)

If you want to ask me which one I am, I am a security guard.

We have dedicated bus lines and Olympic dedicated lines on the road. Why not set up a dedicated bus line for drunken people to facilitate management.

I hate arranged marriages.

Hey, can I get you some money?

Is your brain filled with gutter oil?

Teacher, do I look like a chicken?

I am from the provincial chemical fertilizer factory.

You can either call me Xiao Hao or Dajian. Don’t be too mean or mean. Will it expose my character more?

Why don't you take our child away before we leave?

My dad is already on the ranking list of whether he is convinced or not.

Which mental illness can you watch with 100 yuan?

In fact, happiness is very simple. Don’t always think about what you don’t have, but think about what you have.

Kangxi ascended the throne at the age of six. (She must be eight years old, right?

Can her sports car make up for running away?

Wanted? Store manager, are you from Cantonese, right?

Silicon and water What will happen when we are together?

What to do if you are poisoned by gas?

According to you, is grandma the mother? , grandma is father’s mother.

The person holding the broom in Jay Chou’s Double Jay 18 may not be the cleaner, it could also be Harry Potter.

It’s in your head. It's a waste of time.

Don't cause trouble for me.

Don't cause trouble for the people.

You two are really in love with each other. .

My wife fainted after hearing what he said.

Son, did you come here from the local station or the central station? 24Does the boss’ wife have an older wife now?

These two eyes really save your face, are they original?

I don’t care what she says if her mouth is long below his nose

Hello, this is a commercial bank... Your bus card shows that you spent 8,000 yuan in another place. .

You know I am a liar and you still chatted with me for so long, what kind of character do you have?

Listen to me, I am in your daughter’s hands, no, hum, your daughter is in my hands, I am not your son-in-law

Why are you sweeping the floor? The one with the broom doesn't have to be the janitor, he could also be Harry Potter.

My brother is particularly miserable. He just found out that his son is not his biological son.

If you don’t promise me, he will die for you.

Who is the outsider? The boss is the outsider.

The person who delivered the lunch box: This box belongs to you, and this box belongs to Tingting.

Liar: Why?

The person who gave me a box lunch: There is no gutter oil in this box. Tingting doesn’t like to eat gutter oil.

Aunt Li: Why are you doing so many things?

Lunch box deliverer: Yes, my math scores have always been very good. Goodbye, auntie!

Aunt Li: Your mind is filled with gutter oil.

——————————————————Classic lines from the sketch "Skynet Huihui"

You two are really like each other.

She lit the fire. Is it natural for her not to light a fire?

Being so bitchy reveals my character.

Husband: Did you quarrel with someone again?

Wife: No, with the dog.

Wife: It barks at me!

Husband: You didn’t bite it, did you?

Wife: It didn’t bite me. Can I bite it first? I'm not being reasonable!

Husband: So cool! Conquer the dog with virtue!

So mean: Hey, is this dad?

Husband: Who is it... so polite?

Husband: What is your name?

So cheap: Dad, take it now. Whatever you choose, I will call it.

Husband: Eyeballs

So mean: Dad! Think twice! Every hasty decision you make is related to my future. Give me a personal name!

I have repeatedly emphasized that honesty and women can conquer the world!

I am engaged in the study of human epidermis (actually I am a scrubber) and the study of human epidermis dirt.

Husband: Wife, go, isn’t there a cucumber left in the refrigerator? Cook four dishes for the children.

Wife: Oh

How cheap: Your family entertains guests very extravagantly.

Husband: I’ll give you 100 yuan for mental damage.

So cheap: Which mental illness can you watch with 100 yuan?

This strange combination of circumstances has made things perfect for you two.

———————————————————Classic lines from the sketch "Today's Happiness"

What substances can be produced by silicon and water? Bastard Soup!

Gas, you know? Carbon monoxide is a poisonous gas. What should you do if there is a gas leak in your home? Have a cigarette to calm down.

Eating sugar cookies burns the back of the head.

If you really like music, kid, you don’t have to learn piano. Buying a piano is the same as playing whistle (it first appeared in Ge You’s sketch in 1992)

————— ———————————— Quotations from Crosstalk “Struggle”

Niu Li: This is New York, right?

Feng Gong: Is New York so peaceful?

Yan Xuejing: Your boss is almost 60, but his wife is so young?

Feng Gong: Are there any older wives of the boss now?

Feng Gong: You will always be Xi Shi in my heart

Niu Li: What about me?

Feng Gong: At best, he is Diao Chan.

Those eyes are really embarrassing.

Niu Li: Who is young?

Feng Gong: You are young.

Yan Xuejing: Why are you too young?

Feng Gong: She is pretending to be young.

Yan Xuejing: What about me?

Feng Gong: Really old.

My mouth is below his nose, can I care what she says?

——————————————————Sketch (cross talk drama) "The Chariot of Love"

Fellows from the same hometown directly refer to accomplices Isn’t it over?

What is your last name? My surname is Hao. How can your surname be Hao? My father's surname is Hao.

A: You are not a good person.

B: Say it again.

A: You are not a good person.

B: Say it three more times.

A: You are not a good person. You are not a good person. You are not a good person.

B: Say it ten more times.

—————————————————Short “Interview”

Who unified the six countries later? Jing Ke.

Travel through time and space to conquer everything.

——————————————————Sketch "Jing Ke Assassins Qin"

2020 Classic Lines

1. You are right to choose China, other countries simply cannot do it. Welcome to the Republic of China!

2. Son: Why is there an anchor?

Dad: Because that’s not a spaceship, it’s an ark.

3. Heroine: So you are the one I am waiting for

Male protagonist: Never left

4. Susan: If he listens to us Yes, we can save his life.

Doctor: That's his life.

Susan: You don’t believe it, do you?

Doctor: Yes, I believe it

Susan: When people have diseases, we don’t say, well, take their lives and let them die, we use our Technology, our advanced drugs, cure them and save their lives. God is not saving people, we are saving their lives.

Doctor: We can't save that man today.

Susan: If he had listened to us, we could have saved him, no doubt, but it’s not that we didn’t, it was that he didn’t.

5. Doctor: Everything has a reason, Susan. Just because you can’t see or believe something doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. I mean you can think whatever you want, but there is always life, old age, sickness and death. , we can do everything within our power, we can, but we cannot control them.

Susan: You see good people die every day and yet you still believe in God?

Doctor: Yeah, when someone dies, you can see the light leaving them, I mean, I can feel it when they're gone, you can't. What?

Susan: I don’t know, maybe I...

6. Susan: Are you okay?

Mother: Susan, what happened?

Susan: I don’t know, I just think I should go to the Great Pyramid. I don’t know why... I just need to go.

Mother: At a special time, he is looking for you, you are very special.

Susan: Mom, you know I don’t believe that at all

Mother: Susan, why can’t you see, why don’t you think he loves you? He wants you to be with him?

7. Susan: This doesn’t make any sense, Mom. Science can prove everything. You claim that God has done it. When people get sick, they feel that those diseases...are those medicines that saved them, no? God! I see a lot of people living their whole life without any faith, but suddenly when they are dying, they give their soul to... God, heaven, eternal life, I see... a lot of good people every day After death, where is God? This is a good fantasy, not realistic, just a... thing that prevents people from compromising with reality. It is a lie.

Mother: God loves you, Susan. Whether you accept it or not, it is not a fantasy or a lie. Something is telling you to stop everything you are doing and just let you go to the Great Pyramid in Mexico! You can't describe it, you can't explain it, but you can feel it! You know, it exists! For the first time in your life, believe in something outside of yourself, like faith or whatever, and good things will happen because the truth...is in God's hands.

8. Wife: Frank, I want you to stop! You're still wearing it!

Frank: Of course.

Wife: Why are you still wearing it?

Frank: We were never divorced.

Wife: You never have time.

Frank: Sometimes I don't want to be so busy, even if I have the chance... I'm not with other people.

Wife: Me neither.

Frank: I realized my mistake, I took it for granted, I was thinking...I'll be there when you leave, I...

Wife: You must watch to it.

Frank: I don’t.

Wife: I'll try my best to chat with you.

Frank: I know, I always care too much about myself, I feel... if I succeed, it means we will succeed, I know now is not the time to say this, I am very selfish, I never said I'm sorry now I'm sorry you were the most beautiful thing in the world to me and I let you slip away.

Wife: When we first started dating, you told me that I was your biggest discovery.

Frank: Oh, no...

Wife: I think that's the sweetest thing, that sucks... I'm surprised we're still talking together.

9. Susan: Mom.

Mother: Well, baby?

Susan: When did you start believing in God?

Mother: I have always believed it.

Susan: But why?

Mother: Well... look around, look at the sun, shining in the sky, the clouds, the trees, I'm thinking... how perfect this is! Everything, from the shining sun to everything on the earth, everything is together. This is such a perfect great project. Even if there is only one detail, if he did it wrong at the beginning, it will fail completely. It's amazing. Got it!

Susan: I wish I could see the world you talk about.

Mother: You can do it. You just see the dark side of things. You try to alleviate human suffering. You see death every day, but it makes you forget the glory of life. This is a gift. I understand. Every day is a gift, some people abuse it, I know you are looking for it, it must be so hard, I pray to God to only see good things for you every day.

Susan: You are a good person, you always have been.

Mother: I can remember when you were born, it was a miracle, oh, I can't believe it is really happening, I injected myself into you, a child, a daughter, when When the doctor put you in my hands, I remember you were the most wonderful thing in the world. We know a lot about this world, baby, we have technology, medicine, but a new life is always perfect, So cute, that could only be made by the hand of God, a miracle?