The coldest joke

1. A true romantic proposal should look like this: A handsome man invited 10 colleagues to dinner, including his favorite girl. Halfway through eating, he suddenly stood up and walked to his sister's side, then moved the chair where her sister was sitting at 90 degrees to face him. At this moment, his sister's mouth was filled with all kinds of food... At this time, he suddenly She took out 4 wads of money from her pocket and said, "This is a deposit of 40,000 yuan. Will you marry me?" My sister was immediately stunned, and tears of excitement burst into her eyes. She sobbed and took out the banknote detector, and said after a moment: "These are all true - I do!" (Tong Zhou *** Ji)

2. I just went to the train station to buy a ticket, but I came back empty-handed. I saw a slogan on the road: Chengdu is a A place you don’t want to leave once you’re here. Now I finally understand the “meaning” of this sentence! Chengdu, please put me on the train tonight! (Blue

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3. Award notification: Under the leadership of the principal, the support of the Academic Affairs Office, the cooperation of the logistics department, and the guidance of the instructor , three students from our school won the first prize in the ** Cup essay competition held by universities in Tianjin. Due to limited space, the names of the winning students will be notified separately! (I love Nankai)

4. I was playing mahjong in the dormitory, and suddenly the police broke in and took away all five people... (Peking University Unnamed)

5. Jiajue once said to me in private: "A knife that is extremely blunt can only The most lethal - because it is a hammer!" (Tianya University Campus)

6. After the conductor desperately pushed the last passenger onto the bus, the passenger kindly turned around and persuaded: "Sister, just do it. Don't be crowded. If you can't get on, let's wait for the next bus..." (Shuimu Community)

7. At the school job fair, Michelin (which makes tires)

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As a result, he was the only undergraduate student accepted in the school... (Drink water and think of the source)

8. During the military training in the university, I met an instructor and the whole class was He was "repaired" badly. After the military training was over, to celebrate the liberation, everyone enthusiastically threw the beloved instructor into the air. When he landed happily, they found that everyone below had disappeared... (Drinking water and thinking about the source)

9. Roommate: Why is Chang'e rushing to the moon? (I love Nankai)

Me: Even an immortal can't stand it! p>

10. A couple were making out one night. When they were excited, the wife asked her husband to touch her lower part with his hand, so the husband stretched out a finger. The wife acted coquettishly and was dissatisfied, and then the husband stretched out another finger. The wife was still dissatisfied, and finally the husband got angry and put his whole hand in... When he pulled it out, he found that there was a lump on his wrist

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12.12. The kid next door finally vowed to lose weight - at the graduation job fair, someone said to him: "Brother, let me go, you are blocking my mobile phone signal~" (Shuimu Community)

13. One pig said to another pig: "People say we are pigs, let's break up!" (Peking University Weiming)

14. I went to the shoe store yesterday and saw a couple. Pointed to a pair of leather shoes and asked how much they cost.

Salesperson: 240. (Please indicate Tianya Happy Paradise for reprinting)

Salesperson: Can it be cheaper? : Seeing that you are sincere in buying it, then save the taxi fare! [

Reposted from Iron Blood Community

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Couple: Taking a taxi back to Beijing? (Lilac)

15. A freshman got off the train in Harbin when his wallet was taken out. When he was frustrated, he saw someone waving to him not far away.

When he ran over, the man had disappeared, but there was his wallet that had been taken out just now on the ground. He quickly opened it to check and found that in addition to the money, his ID card, bank card, especially the freshman registration card and other things were still there. ! There is a line of chalk writing in regular script on the ground next to it: Although life is difficult, thieves still have their ways! (Lilac)

16. When I went shopping, I found a store full of all kinds of clothes. On the glass at the door was a sign: Big discount for opening a store, high-end suits 30 yuan/set, shirts 5 yuan /piece... I feel inexplicably happy: Such a good thing has finally caught up with me! So I rushed in, and the moment I walked in, I looked up and saw: a dry cleaning shop! (water