Give me more jokes.

1, summer vacation travel, traffic jam on the road.

A boy took out a small bench and sat on the side of the road to see the scenery of Shan Ye.

A girl with a big pomegranate leaned over and said to him, "shall I exchange pomegranate for your bench?"

The boy changed, and just about to peel the pomegranate, the girl turned back and said, "I'll exchange the bench for pomegranate later."

Mr. Han looks up the dictionary whenever he has time, trying to give the baby a good name. His colleagues gave him various suggestions, but Mr. Han was not satisfied.

A few days later, my colleague asked Mr. Han with concern: "Have you thought about the baby's name?"

Mr. Han: "Yes, name: Han, nickname: 999."

3. How is the treatment there?

We all have an annual salary system.

A: Then you are well treated.

B: You don't know. Every time I ask for a salary, the boss says that when the funds arrive, I will pay them together at the end of the year.

Two policemen went out hunting, but one of them was hunting for the first time, so he looked a little excited.

The hunting began, and the police officer found a dense forest near the deer, waiting for the deer to approach. . .

The deer came slowly towards him and his palms began to sweat. He closed his eyes, jumped out of the Woods, fired a shot into the air and shouted, "Nobody moves, I'm a policeman!" " "

A man knocked down a strange old man on a motorcycle in downtown!

That man was scared out of his wits! More and more people are watching!

Suddenly, the man hugged the old man and cried in tears: "Dad, wait for me, I'll find a doctor for you!" " "

After that, he ran away . .

The old man struggled and shouted angrily, "Come back here!" "

Everyone expressed their feelings: "This son is really filial!"

The manager of the company asked people to hang the slogan "Do it at once if you want" on the wall, hoping to inspire employees!

After a while, a friend of the boss asked him how effective this measure was.

The boss said angrily: "The cashier ran away with 654.38+ 10,000 yuan, and the office director eloped with my female secretary, and dozens of employees asked for a raise together!"

A child stood by the blacksmith's shop and watched the blacksmith strike while the iron was hot! The blacksmith hated her a little, so he took out the red-hot iron and put it in front of the child to scare him!

The child winked and said, "If you give me a dollar, I will lick it!" " "

Hearing this, the blacksmith immediately took out a dollar and gave it to the little girl!

The child took the money, licked it with his tongue, put it in his pocket and left. ...

An old couple born on the same day of the same year ushered in their 60th birthday!

During the dinner, god came and said that he could satisfy the two wishes of husband and wife!

The old woman said, "My dream is to travel around the world."

God waved his wand, wow! Dig out a pile of plane tickets.

The old man said, "I want to live with a woman 30 years younger than myself."

God waved his wand, wow! Turned the old man into 90 years old!

Xiao Qiang gave a speech at the rally, and the people below were all ears.

Xiao Qiang said, "I hate two kinds of people the most! One is racist, one is black and the third is illiterate! "

The people below were sweating like a pig. . .

One very cold winter, two beggars, an old man and a young man, went begging in the morning. They walked to the door of a restaurant and waited for the boss to throw leftovers.

Many things grind, and soon the boss came out with a bucket of leftovers. The little beggar hurried up to eat, while the old beggar stood still.

Because the weather is very cold and the meal is very cold, the little beggar wants to vomit after eating a few bites, so he vomits!

Then the old beggar rushed up and said, "I'm waiting for your spicy mouth."

There is a couple whose husband is very stingy!

One morning, the husband woke up to find his wife dead in bed.

He jumped up quickly, looked pale and stumbled down the stairs, shouting, "maid!" " Maid! "

The maid replied, "Sir! What is it? "

The husband shouted, "boiling an egg for breakfast is enough!" "

Introverted Xiao Zhang saw a beautiful woman in a bar.

After a long hesitation, he finally got up the courage, approached her and asked in a low voice, "Can I talk to you?"

Suddenly the woman shouted, "no, I won't sleep with you!" " "

The whole bar was staring at them. Embarrassed, Xiao Zhang blushed and didn't say anything, so he returned to his seat with great grievance.

After a while, the woman walked up to Xiao Zhang and whispered, "I'm sorry, I'm studying psychology." I just want to test people's reactions in embarrassing situations. "

This is, Xiao Zhang shouted loudly, "Do you want 200 yuan? Too expensive! "

A group of fireflies are flying in the air, and one of them doesn't shine!

The other asked him curiously, "Brother, why don't you shine?"

The firefly replied, "Hey, my buddy forgot to pay the electricity bill last month!" " "

Two beautiful women are discussing what cosmetics have the best whitening effect in the elevator.

At the same time, there was a black man beside him, listening silently.

Suddenly the black man said to the two beautiful women, "It's no use! I tried, it didn't work!

1. Some people say that smart women can inspire men, beautiful women can confuse men, talented women can attract men, women with status can play with men, and women with everything can confuse a group of men!

There is a man and a woman crossing the bridge. A tiger glared at the bridge, and the woman took off her clothes after a little thinking. The man also learned to undress, but was tackled by the tiger. Men don't understand? The tiger said, do you think you have a stick to beat Song Wu?

The teacher asked the students to make sentences with wrinkles. A student wrote: My father's eggs have many wrinkles. The teacher criticized the parents for not showing their children around. Parents explained that the child was careless since childhood and he wrote less "face".

The lady explained to the police that she didn't sell dirty condoms: I just sold a two-yuan condom to 200 yuan, which was the most expensive. Policeman: What happened? Miss said: teach him how to use the after-sales service.

After the performance, the leader took the stage to hold the beautiful Mongolian actress's hand and kept asking her name. The actress said excitedly, Maragabi.

6. There was only one cake left at the birthday party, and it happened that the word birthday was written on it. The boy generously picked up the knife and split it in two. He said to the girl gently, "I am in charge of one day, and you are in charge of your whole life, okay?"

7. Feeling of life: When work and love are not going well, you can take out your little brother, stare at it and meditate on its spirit: it can be long or short, thick or thin, soft or hard, and you can learn from it. The immediate difficulty is a bird!

8. A kindergarten child was caught smoking in the toilet. The teacher asked him why he smoked. He bowed his head and replied deeply: the motherland is not unified, and he is depressed!

9. The director danced with a beautiful virgin. The director was a little excited at the climax of the dance music and stood up below. Noticing this, the Virgin asked curiously, What's under you? Director: Below me is the section chief. Virgo: The official is not big, and it is very hard.

10. The female mayor and the male secretary went to the party together. While enjoying dinner, the secretary said: Secretaries are usually mayors! The female mayor replied shrewdly: Yes, secretaries are generally born (promoted) by the mayor.