Talk about the very talented funny people. Funny sentences in the circle of friends.

1. Although you have a husband, what's wrong with having me?

2. I fell asleep in class and fell asleep. I thought I was at home, so I took off my bra, put it on the desk and continued to sleep. I was too embarrassed to study anymore ~ ??

3. My wife learned how to set a power-on password for the computer. Me: What is my wife’s power-on password? Wife: It’s your birthday. When I entered it, it showed something wrong. I entered both the solar and lunar calendar several times and it still wasn't right. Me: The password is wrong. Wife: You are so stupid, let me do it. Then my wife typed on the keyboard with great joy: nishengri! !

4. Youth is not always around, hurry up and fall in love.

5. Yesterday, my parents went out to eat lobster at 11 o'clock in the evening and they didn't ask me to go. Later, I posted a message on the Internet and said: My parents went out to eat lobster and they didn't ask me to come. I must have paid for the phone bill. When I read the comments this morning, a girl said: It’s a miracle that your parents chose you instead of peanut oil to pay for your phone bill!

6. The day before yesterday, I was watching where my father was with my mother. Kimi bumped into the camera and cried when she turned around. I smiled and said: Why are you so stupid? As a result, my mother said with a look of disdain: You still have the nerve to laugh at others. When you were a child, you could even scare yourself by farting! Me:

7. I can't let my feelings hold me back from getting rich.

8. Twenty years ago, young losers opened packages of crispy noodles in order to collect Water Margin hero cards. Twenty years later, for the eight cent red envelope, I anxiously rubbed my phone and sent messages over and over again. No matter whether they are children or grow up, diaosi will never escape the fate of being toyed with.

9. I wanted to live in my husband's heart, but I didn't expect that there were so many neighbors.

10. One day, I was squatting to defecate and suddenly thought of looking at the buddy next door from under the partition. It was the most embarrassing and terrifying stare in my life.

11. Last night I went to the supermarket to buy the following items: 1 toothbrush, 1 toothpaste, 1 roll of toilet paper; 1 frozen dinner, 1 box of popcorn. The female cashier said, are you single? I replied: How do you know, because I only buy one copy of everything? The woman replied: No, it's because you are ugly.

12． A classmate in the class took an Apple phone and asked: Does my phone look like a copycat? Why did I go out to date a girl and she figured it out at a glance? Me: Just change your deafening ringtone next time you go out!

13. Inviting friends to dinner, I'm not very good at ordering. After looking through the menu for a long time and not knowing what to order, I asked the waiter standing aside: Is there any dry-pot chicken? The young man immediately blushed: Yes, twice.

14. What do I look like in your mind? Star. It turns out that I am so bright in your heart. No, it doesn’t matter if there is one more or one less.

15. I just received a phone call, and a deep voice on the other end of the phone said: Your wife is in my hands. I was shocked: who are you? ! Why are your hands so big? ! Talk about funny friends circle

1. Someone just sat next to me. I went over and slapped you. How can you squeeze my invisible wings!

2. It is said that this year In summer, people all over the country are mourning the death of a guy named Hot!

3. Let’s break up, Mr. Summer Vacation. Don't ask me why because: the cruel, domineering and arrogant teacher at the beginning of the school year wants to be nice to me.

4. Do you think I will watch you die? I'll close my eyes.

5. I was completely amazed at the beginning only because I had rarely seen it in the world.

6. A man’s greatest ability is to indulge his girlfriend to the point that no other man can stand it.

7. I feel depressed when I think about my weight!

8. I am really jealous of that woman. Why am I not as thick-skinned as her?

9. Cherish me while I am still here.

10. I will not watch you jump into the fire pit. I will close my eyes.

11. I think you are really not a qualified friend. You should change your profession and be my wife!

12. The chicken’s resistance is to make its own meat unpalatable.

13. I passed by a lawn yesterday and saw this slogan: Today you step on my head and next year I will grow on your grave.

14. People still need to go out for a walk more often, otherwise they will not know how comfortable it is to play with mobile phones at home.

15. Who can be as loyal to their partner as they are to RMB?

16. When God closes a door for you, he will also use the door to trap your brain.

17. It’s not like you’ll lose fans if you don’t smile!

18. The intelligence test is to see how stupid you are.

19. If God can’t make me thin, then let me make my friends fat. Forgive me for dressing up, holding a pen in hand, frowning, and writing furiously just to help the top students finish at the bottom.

20. For someone as lazy as me, if I reply to everything you say, it can only mean one thing: I like you.

21. There is no rehearsal in life. It is live broadcast every day; not only the ratings are low, but the salary is not high.

Twenty-two, teach you how to practice swordsmanship. If you practice swordsmanship, you will be despicable if you don’t practice swordsmanship! If you don’t practice the golden sword, you will become a bitch!

23. How many pairs of those eyes that were shaken off when you were young will be left after ten years?

24. If you can’t bear to fight with me, don’t say bad things about me behind my back.

25. Don’t underestimate me. Although I can’t save the people, I can harm the people.

Twenty-six, I will know that you are a monster as soon as I open my eyes.

27. Eating is easy but not easy to lose weight, so eat and cherish it.

28. The so-called loyalty is just the lack of chips for betrayal.

29. You insist on making Audrey Hepburn into a street girl.

Thirty. No matter how bad my scores are, they are all my own and I don’t mind them!

31. One night, when the physics evening self-study teacher was spitting on the podium, he suddenly rushed to the female classmate in the back row of me and confiscated the comic book in her physics book on the spot. The whole class was stunned and exclaimed that the teacher had developed clairvoyance. Unexpectedly, the teacher said on the spot: I wanted to cry when I looked at the physics book, but she actually laughed while reading it!

32. How are you doing now? If you are not having a good time, I will feel relieved.

Thirty-three, besides teeth, there is also love that is difficult to extricate oneself from in the world.

34. Don’t act coquettishly if you look like that. It can easily cause pregnancy reactions.

Thirty-five, if you chase me naked for two kilometers and I look back, I will be considered a hooligan!

Thirty-six. After meeting me, you will suddenly realize that being handsome can be so specific.

Thirty-seven. Do you mind if I have small breasts? Do you mind if I like my childhood sweetheart? What does it mean to play with me since childhood?

Thirty-eight, the female penguin and the male penguin quarreled and turned away. The male penguin wanted to catch up and coax her. The female penguin looked back and saw how cute he was walking and twitching, so they reconciled

Thirty-nine. If we have no discernment, we will have myopia. If we do not have youth, we will have acne.

40. You can’t wake up someone who doesn’t reply to your message, but a red envelope can!

41. Classmate, why don’t you do your homework? Do you have any objections to being spoiled by your former class representative?

42. Are there any scumbag girls? I want to fall in love with you. I hope your sweet words will coax me into being crazy. Then you cheat on me and I will be heartbroken. From then on, I will work hard and reach the top of my life. Funny words suitable for posting on Moments

1. Without students like us with poor grades, how can we bring out the achievements of good students?

2. I am in the world, but there are no legends about me in the world.

3. If you dare to mess with me, send your name and phone number to Maopu Hodgepodge and let MOppER spray you to death.

4. After the haircut, the barber asked how it was. I was silent for a while and said to him: As long as you are happy.

5. If you lose weight, you can wear anything. If you are fat, whatever you wear will be useless.

6. We promised to grow old together, but you went to bake it!

7. If you have a fever at home, you will still surf the Internet. If you sneeze at school, you will think it is late-stage cancer.

8. Generally, good-looking girls can get things done by acting coquettishly, but I have to rely on threats.

9. There is nothing good about you, but I just like you and you can’t change it. Just like you don’t like me, I can’t change it either. This is called fate.

10. Persistence may not necessarily lead to success, but giving up will be easy.

11. The sunshine is there every day, and you will always meet the right person. Don't be afraid, the good ones are always at the bottom of the box.

12. Don’t say forever, don’t say forever, who can promise the future? What we can grasp is nothing more than the feelings of the place at that time. But a lifetime is also made up of countless present moments. If you work hard for every moment, it will last forever.

13. I love you is purely fictitious. Any similarity is purely coincidental.

14. Love is sometimes like the feeling of being drunk. The mind is obviously sober, but the behavior is out of control.

15. Will you be my sun? I would like you to be thousands of miles away from me.

16. Women don’t care about being decent. Being decent is because they are not tempted enough. Men don’t care about being loyal. Loyalty comes because the stakes for betrayal are too low.

17. Because of your expression, I moved from the canteen to the toilet with anger and appetite.

18. Three bottles of women: a vase when young, a vinegar bottle when middle-aged, and a medicine bottle when old.

19. I don’t believe it, I only believe that one drop will last forever, just three seconds, and will never be separated.

20. I am your true frivolity, and you are my vigorous shallowness.

21. I always thought the air was free until I bought a bag of potato chips.

22. The nature of parent-teacher conferences and primary school meetings are the same, they both try to instigate family relations.

23. Others are pretending to be serious, so I have to pretend not to be serious.

24. You said you would ask me for advice wherever you go from now on. I smiled happily.

Twenty-five, you were arrested on the charge of disturbing people.

26. Go your own way and let others take a taxi.

Twenty-seven, hold the child's hand and drag him away. If he doesn't leave, knock him unconscious and continue dragging him away!

28. If something happens to you one day, please be sure to call me. I won’t say anything, and I can’t block the knife for you, but I can come out and be handsome to death.

29. I seriously suspect that Yue Lao used my red string to knit long johns.

Thirty. There are many people holding hands on the street. How many of them are getting married?

31. Men are excellent because they are lonely, and women are lonely because they are excellent.

32. What’s the point of keeping you in the dark? It’s better to keep you in bed.

33. God closed the window of mathematics for me, and also closed the door of English. He also blocked the sewer of science and technology, and even the dog hole of Chinese was blocked for me.

Thirty-four, breaking up is so boring, let’s play divorce if we can!

Thirty-five, you are my honey plum meat, you are my fish-flavored shredded pork, you are the Liushuang Duan in Majiaguan, you are the delicious bottom of the Shile pot Son.

Thirty-six. After working hard for so long, if you have some talent, you should have some signs of success.

Thirty-seven. Don’t think that because I am handsome, you think that I am unreachable and unattainable. In fact, I am open to all rivers.

Thirty-eight, there are some things that do not need to be argued. You can obey on the surface but resist secretly.

Thirty-nine, it’s not that we are unsuitable, but that you are more suitable.

40. Hitting means kissing you, scolding means loving you, but not hitting or scolding means making love to you.

41. Read thousands of books, travel thousands of miles, make thousands of dollars, and become a heartthrob!

42. You make it impossible for me to step down, and I make it impossible for you to even have a chance to come on stage.

43. Suddenly I will doubt whether loving you too persistently is out of love or because of unwillingness.

44. Don’t talk about feelings with me. Talking about feelings will hurt your money.

Forty-five, two is a kind of beauty that is neither three nor four.

46. You can ignore me now, but remember, you will not be able to reach me in the future.

47. I killed two mating flies. I deserve death.

48. Being fat means being unruly, but being thin means being restrained.

Forty-nine, I haven’t finished my homework yet, I’m in trouble, I’m in big trouble!

50. The farthest distance in the world is not between life and death. But when there is a power outage, my house is dark, but my neighbor's house is brightly lit. Funny Talk

1. Teacher, do you know Yuanfang? Don’t you know Cheng Zu? No, do you know who their sister is? Not even the teacher, you don’t know, how do I know: the solution of the original system of equations is __?

2. I have been able to achieve four out of five of the five words "especially able to endure hardships", which is already very good.

3. Don’t say I’m blind! I am not blind, can I recognize you?

4. There must be a road before the car reaches the mountain, and if there is a road, it is also a dead end.

5. My junior high school friends have transformed into gods and goddesses. Those who should be single are also single. I am the only one who is going further and further on the road of being funny.

6. Starting from today, I will change my funny personality and become a cold person.

7. Words come to mind quickly! You just got it in your head! Can't you have a bigger brain?

8. On the way to the mountain, the man encountered a bear and immediately fell to the ground and pretended to be dead. The bear sadly and silently buried the man in the ground.

9. It’s so funny that I’m going to that terrible school again.

10. The highest level of being funny is to say that you are aloof.

11. You said that you will stay with me forever. I was so stupid that I forgot to ask whether it was this life or the next life.

12. Your Majesty, do you still remember Xia Yuhe by the Daming Lake?

13. Military training is a group of funny instructors training a group of hard-working students. .

14. If something cannot be retained, throw it as far away as possible. It may bounce back after hitting something.

15. It doesn’t matter if you cry as hard as you can. Our water meter has stopped reading for a long time.

16. If you use a beauty trick, I will follow it.

17. You are the wind, and I am, lingering together becomes a sandstorm.

18. Are you dissatisfied with the world when you look like this?

19. You go, you go, once you leave, don’t come back.

20. Beast, let go of that girl and let me do it~

21. Please do not harass, I am harassing others.

22. Life is over. . School is over. . It's holiday. . Graduation. . Enough. . Old. . I regret it. . Dead. . .

23. Ronger, I am brother Jing.

24. If you are willing to peel off my heart layer by layer, you will find that you will be surprised. There are mitral valve, tricuspid valve, septal column, chordae tendineae, Papillary muscles, atrial septum, ventricular septum, foramen ovale, just without you.

25. If you really feel that the weather is too hot and you can’t stand it, then try to express your love to the person you like, and your heart will cool down after a while!

26. When I was in school, I learned to swear, copy homework, compare, be rebellious, fall in love early, fight, poke people’s spines, and get to know a lot of dogs. Apart from these, I learned nothing else.

27. The farthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but the exam is about to take place. Others are reviewing while I am preparing for the exam.

28. The girl I like told me not to take her too seriously and just take advantage of her. . OK. . .

29. Xiao Ming went to the beach and couldn’t help but shout when he saw the sea: The sea! Mother! As soon as he finished speaking, a huge wave hit him in the face. He was furious: It's the stepmother!

30. When I was a child, I always listened to the radio singing: I am a cake, and I love to eat the common people.

31. Heartbeat Law: If you kiss a woman and your heartbeat reaches 250, it must be first love. If the heartbeat reaches 180, it must be an affair. If the heart rate reaches 120, it must be love. If the heartbeat reaches 80, it must be my wife. If the heart rate reaches 30, it must be a dinosaur. If the heartbeat reaches 0, it must be myocardial infarction. . .

32. A school teacher collected slogans for protecting flowers and plants, and a classmate blurted out: Today I will step on my head, and tomorrow I will plant them on your grave.

33. When you meet someone you like, just rush up and kiss him. If you two are really interested in each other, then that’s it. If he pushes you away, don’t worry about him, you are interested anyway. Kissed

34. Looking at a temple from a distance, looking at our alma mater up close, there are more than 300 nuns and more than 10,000 monks.

35. To the summer when we will eventually die of heat.