There is a short message with a bunch of unknown words in front and saying: Who told you not to study hard?

1. An ugly woman never got married, hoping to be abducted. One day, her dream finally came true and she was kidnapped. The kidnapper thought she was ugly and sent her back to her original place. The woman insisted on not getting off the bus. The kidnapper gritted her teeth and stamped her feet and said, Go. . Don't want the car! ! !

2 Spiders love ants deeply, but when they express their love, they are rejected. Spiders roar: Why? Why is all this? The ant said timidly: My mother said that people who stay online all day are not good people!

3 Your happiness, I will build it; I'll make up for your confusion; I will satisfy your greed; Your willfulness, I will give in; Love you, I am the only one. I am a professional pig farmer. (To be continued)

4 You want to invite me to dinner. If you don't meet my requirements, I will write your mobile phone number on the wall and add two words in front of it: apply for a certificate

5 Yesterday, I dreamed that I could realize a wish. I took out my globe and said, I want world peace! The Lord said it was too difficult! I took out your photo and said, make this person beautiful! Sweating, the Lord said, Bring me the globe and I'll have a look!

6 do you want to get rich? Do you want to get lucky? Do you want to be an official? Do you want to become famous overnight? Do you want to stay young forever? Do you want people all over the world to be crazy about you? —————————— Don't dream, wash your feet and sleep!

7 It's rainy and wet, and my mood is so wet ... Every night, you just stare at the cold window and keep watching. I come over and say to you gently, "Wang Cai, go in, the bone giver won't come today.

8 This may be the last time I send you a text message. I'm hesitating to tell you. I'm going to America in the near future, and all the formalities have been completed. I can't help it, really! Bush said he couldn't handle Saddam without me.

9 One day, I went to the zoo to see orangutans, and I vomited. Another day, you went to the zoo to see the orangutan, and the orangutan vomited! The same person, why is the gap so big? (to be continued)

1. Revelation of finding monkeys: I lost a little hairy monkey. Features: dirty, with a runny nose, with a mobile phone on my body, and I can read short messages. If I love monkeys, I will reply to my master as soon as possible! Master misses you so much!

11. It really scares me to hear that you have been trafficked. Although you have been suffering from dementia since childhood, you are harmless to society. Who dares to sell you? I'm really worried about him. It's strange to sell you!

12. I told my mother: I like you! After getting along with you for such a long time, I feel that I can't live without you. I want you to come to my house and accompany me every day! But my mother didn't agree. She said: Dogs are not allowed at home!

13. I've changed my job, and now I'm working in a bank, which is not far from you. Come to me when you have time, and shout my name at the bank, and I'll know! I changed my name. That's too vulgar. I'm calling Qiang Jie first.

14. Yesterday, I saw on the Internet that the model of mobile phone you used had extremely high radiation. I was shocked. I was just about to inform you, but I saw that it didn't work for people with IQ less than 5. I was relieved. Don't worry, continue to use it.

15. The top secret document of the 16th National Congress of the Communist Party of China: In order to improve the quality of China's population, the state has decided to eliminate a group of retarded and ugly children with the appearance of Sun Guo, so hurry up and leave quietly! Don't thank me! Be safe! (End)

Remember the military training under the tree that year? The coach said to the students, "Count off in the first row!" You looked at the coach in surprise, and the coach said loudly again, "Count off!" " So, reluctantly, you turned around and hugged the tree!

Latest news: The main route of transmission of SARS is currency in circulation. For the health of you and your family, please clean up all your cash and seal it in plastic bags. I will collect it at home and charge a small fee.

On our friendship journey, sometimes you can't see me beside you. It's not that I forget you, let alone. It's that I choose to walk behind you, and when you accidentally fall, I run up and step on my feet!

shall we go on a date on Saturday? Please grant my sincere request! Because I really want to walk with you to the seaside and listen to the sound of the sea. I will take you to climb the highest stone near Shanghai and kick you down!

Yesterday, I dreamed of you. Really, the sky was so quiet, the sun was so bright, and the sea was so boundless. You were standing on the blue beach, and I stabbed you with a stick. Hey, this little bastard has a hard shell.

Love is empty and love is empty, and I wander in the street by myself; People are empty and money is empty, and single bad karma is working; Things are empty and businesses are empty, and they go crazy when they think about it; The mobile phone is empty and has no money to charge, and life is not easy; In short, all four are empty.

When I turned away, you cried helplessly behind me, and the heartbreaking pain made me suddenly understand how much I love you. I turned around and hugged you: this pig is not for sale.

I saw you the other day, in the supermarket! You quietly put your hand on the barcode scanner, and the screen shows: 8 yuan the trotter. Do you think the machine is broken? Look over your face, and the screen shows 5 yuan, the pig's head!

When you pick up the mirror and look at your round face, high nose, charming eyes, sexy mouth and blessed ears, you will sigh loudly-pig! ! ! !

Are you lonely? If so, why do people ask you when you go downstairs to buy a rope and a stick, tie the rope to the stick, and wave the stick on the roof when the wind blows? Just say: I'm having a seizure. . .

people are really tired when they are alive! Standing thinking about sleeping, getting on the bus has to wait in line, unrequited love is really painful, eating is tasteless, drinking is easy to get drunk, working is particularly tired, robbery is not yet possible, and you have to pay taxes to earn money, alas! Even sending a text message to the pig has to be charged!

It's just a gust of wind, but it's so eternal, just a dream, and it's so real. You bow your head and say nothing, but I can't calm down. Finally, I can't help but say to you, please let me know the next time you fart!

One night, a naked man called a taxi, and the female driver stared at him intently. The naked man was furious and shouted: You have never seen a naked man before! The female driver is also furious: I see where the fuck you pay for it!

Dear users, your phone bill is less than that of .1 yuan. Please pay the phone bill in the near future: selling children, selling women, selling rice, selling iron and selling blood, selling land, selling houses and selling wives. Thank you for your cooperation! China Telecom

Valentine's Day Promotion Gift: Dear male customers, during Valentine's Day, you will buy a set of home brand moisturizing underwear for your lover, and you will get a set of ordinary home brand colored cotton underwear for your wife, and only the colored cotton underwear and the full price will be reflected on the credit card. Go home to the underwear counter

I wrote your name all over the sky and was taken away by the cloud. I wrote your name all over the mountain and was taken away by the wind. I wrote your name all over the street, kao, and I was taken away by the police for

Chinese class. The teacher called a sleepy classmate to answer questions, and the classmate was in a daze and couldn't say anything ... The teacher said, "Will you?" I won't scream too! " This classmate: "cheep"

Dear users, because most of your short messages are sent to the opposite sex, which has a very bad influence on society, we have suspended your short message function. Please bring your own bench tomorrow and go to the nearest police station to learn your style knowledge!

I dreamed of God yesterday, and he said he could grant me a wish. I took out my globe and said I wanted world peace. He said it was too difficult to change it. I took out your photo and said I wanted this person to be beautiful. He pondered and said, I'll take a look at the globe again.

Go! Find someone worthy of your love … I don't know you and your feelings well enough. I know that some things can't be forced and some distances can't be crossed. Just like yesterday, I really couldn't believe that you left with someone for a bone

I can't even think about you; Wearing clothes has no styling; I can't get along with anyone; Wherever you go, you are not welcome; I can't catch up with Lenin when I think about the problem; The heart stopped stealing when it was okay; Pneumonia is not typical!

notice for finding monkeys: I lost a hairy monkey. Its characteristics are: dirty, with a runny nose, a mobile phone on me, and I can read short messages. If I love monkeys, please reply to my master as soon as possible! The host misses you so much now

6 meets 9 and says: Take two steps if you take two steps, why do you practice handstand? meets 8 and says: if you are fat, you will be fat, so why should you wear a belt? 7 Meet 2 and say: Come on, don't kneel down again and I won't marry you; 2 met 5 and said: I haven't seen breast augmentation for several days!

One day, when Liu Hongtao met a foreign guest, he said, I am Hong TaoLiu, and the foreign guest said, I'm still a square seven!

Not every flower can represent love, but roses do. Not every tree can withstand thirst, but poplar can; Not every pig can read short messages, but you did. Congratulations!

You are the sun in my heart, but it's raining. You are the moon in my dream, but it is covered by clouds; You are the most beautiful flower in my heart, but it has bloomed; You are the Chang 'e in the sky, but your face landed first ...

What's the matter? I called your mobile phone just now, and after the bell rang, the phone prompted a voice saying: The other party is streaking, please dial again later. I can't believe it! Dial again and say: Sorry, the subscriber you dialed has run out of service area, please redial later.

in my eyes, you always look so carefree, you always eat with relish and sleep soundly. . . I really envy you. Sometimes I think it's good to be a pig.

1. The soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine in battle? The company commander was greatly annoyed: depend, what can I do? Pay the price for stepping on it.

Author: Xiao Long replied to this speech at 19: 38 on May 12, 25

-------------. But absolutely

2, I feel very distressed when I received your message for a long time.

I thought of dying. I used potato chips to cut my pulse, bumped my head and jumped over the building with a parachute.

I hung myself with noodles, but all of them died.

Please treat me to a meal and support me to death.

Author: Xiao Long, 25-5-12, 19: 39, reply to this speech.

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3 Reply: You may have seen 48 funny messages in my mobile phone, but they are absolutely

3. Please press 1 to talk about feelings, 2 to talk about work, 3 to talk about life, 5 to introduce someone to me, please tell me directly when you invite me to dinner, and please hang up when you borrow money from me.

Author: Xiao Long replied to this speech at 19: 39 on May 12, 25

-------------. Monkey is furious: Leave! Who has ever seen a kiss and climb a tree!

Author: Xiao Long replied to this speech at 19: 39 on May 12, 25

-------------. The water said, "I flow tirelessly all day long to hug you around." The pot said, "It's so stubborn when you're almost fucking ripe."

Author: Xiao Long replied to this speech at 19: 39 on May 12, 25

-------------. Please receive the short message. The elephant put the shit in the middle of the road, and an ant happened to pass by. It looked up at the misty peak and couldn't help singing: Yalaso, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau! ~ ~ ~

Author: Xiao Long 25-5-12 19:39 Reply to this speech

--------. Land is used to grow flowers and grass; I am used to prove how great human beings are; You are used to stew vermicelli.

Author: Xiao Long replied to this speech at 19: 4 on May 12, 25

--------------. Don't worry when you go to the toilet by the river without paper, the frog will tell you: stick scraping, stick scraping, stick scraping!

Author: Xiao Long replied to this speech at 19: 4 on May 12, 25

--------------. But absolutely

9. Money can buy a house but not a home, a marriage but not love, a clock but not time. Money is not everything, but the root of pain. Give me your money and let me bear the pain alone!

Author: Xiao Long replied to this speech at 19: 4 on May 12, 25

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