Is there the most classic and funny passage?

1. In high school, after class, all the students ran outside to buy lunch boxes. A girl took a shortcut before others, and the manhole cover in front was not covered and fell down! After a while, she climbed to the edge of the well. She was embarrassed. A group of junior high school students walked by in horror. She was in a hurry and said as she climbed, hey! It's really hard to repair ... ★☆ 2. I was bitten by mosquitoes in summer when I was in middle school, and I couldn't stand the itching in class, but I couldn't reach in and scratch, I could bear it! It's killing me! After class, I stole a box of cool oil from my deskmate (girl) and ran to the toilet. I regretted it after putting it on-DD stood up and said nothing that time! I can't stop for lack of clothes in summer, so I have to bend down and move back to the classroom, sit down and lean on the desk and dare not move. Cool oil smells so bad that my deskmate snapped, Did you steal my cool oil? Where did you wipe it? ! I wish I was dead! I just opened the coke and drank it twice, then shook it and blew it out. Block it with your mouth, stick it, and finally spray it out of your nose. One day, I got on the bus with a good friend, and the front was full, so I ran to the back and there were just two seats. There are two middle school students sitting in the front row After one stop, a woman in her twenties led a boy of seven or eight years old on the bus. (I later learned that this is her child. There are no seats, so I stand next to two middle school students. Soon, the child began to make trouble, saying that his leg hurt. The middle school student stood up and offered his seat to the child. The young woman said: Let the child do it on your knee. Middle school students agreed. The child sat on the knee of the middle school student. After a few more stops, a girl came over. It's the kind that is very beautiful and very sexy. A low-cut skirt. When the bus was running, the child suddenly shouted at his mother, "Mom, my brother's little boy is moving!" " Just like dad's. "Wandering around! Hehe, there was a commotion in the car. That middle school student is very ashamed. Pull the classmate, and then shout to the driver: "ring the doorbell!" ! "(He wants to open the door, hehe) Then, he got off. When I was in high school, I woke up at home at noon and ate two oranges. After eating the yellow one on my finger, I went straight to school without washing my hands. When I was with my classmates in the afternoon, one of them said, "Why are you so disgusting? You wipe your fingers with shit! " "I said," It's not shit, it's eating oranges at noon. " Then I shook my finger. In two days, it will be miserable. The whole school knows that there is a classmate in our school who wipes his ass with his fingers after taking a shit, and nags his fingers from time to time when he is dry, saying that he smells like oranges. One day, he was walking in the street with a beautiful woman and good friend. Suddenly, a vendor who bought porn came up to my good friend and said, hey, sister, come and have a look. There is a new movie. My friend is very angry ... What? I know. Our hotel has no bathroom. You can go to the toilet opposite. We have an agreement with them. When you get there, you can say that you are eating! ★☆ 7. One day, a female friend of mine came to me and said, "I am depressed, I am bleeding." "Blood collapse?" I asked. "The amount of menstruation is so large!" Answer. Oh, as a man, of course I don't know what a bloody collapse is. There are two flowers, one for each table. A few days later, my boss who hadn't given me a raise for years suddenly gave me a raise. I sat in my office, holding a paycheck and smiling, and said, "I feel that I haven't had my period for several months, and today my blood suddenly collapsed." When I looked up, the whole office was staring at me. . . ★☆ 8. In the third year of high school, in the chemistry class, the teacher talked about organic chemistry polymers or something. Suddenly, the teacher gave an example and drew a "phthalein key" on the blackboard to tell everyone that this is a "eunuch". Let's press a "methyl bar" for him and laugh at the bottom. ★☆ 9. University, I study computers. During the internship on the computer, when the teacher dozed off, all beings were fascinated by CS. Our captain couldn't hold back his inner excitement and quickly set up a local area network. Classic dust2, the captain shouted: I am cheap (made), I am cheap (made), don't rob me. ——! Don't worry, my captain, we won't fight you. ★☆ 10. I made a boyfriend in college and haven't been to his dormitory for a long time. One day, I hurried to his dormitory to find him. When I opened the door, I found him in the whole dormitory. Because they didn't know each other very well, I was a little nervous and asked him where he was going. I don't know why, but I blurted out, "Where's my man? ! "The whole dormitory was silent for 10 seconds, and I rushed out the door. ★☆ 1 1. What a pity! During the May Day holiday this year, my mother and I went to the shopping mall, and we went shopping for a long time. Later, I went to a counter selling sports shoes. My mother asked me to try on a pair of shoes. I was exhausted at that time, and even I didn't think my mind was clear. ~ ~ ~ Maybe I tried on pants too much before. I started to unbutton my belt without saying a word, and then naturally I had to pull the pants door. Oh, my god, my mother called and said, hey, what are you doing! ! I just recovered! The shoe seller looked at me dumbfounded. I really ... hey! Face as hot as a roast pig! What a pity! ★☆ 12. 13 years old, I came to work for the first time (menstruation), so I wanted my mother to buy me sanitary napkins, but ... I think it is also an embarrassing thing to tell my mother. Finally, I called my mother for a long time, and finally got up the courage to say to my mother, Mom, I'm pregnant (actually, I wanted to say, "Mom, I'm here to work." Huh? I turn red as soon as I brush my face. Uh ... I'm so depressed ★☆ 13. When I was in high school, my friends and I had lunch near the school. He ordered a bowl of lasagna while another friend was drinking coke. Then I wonder who told a joke. The coke drinker laughed so hard that the coke dripped from his nose. Friends laugh at other people's embarrassment, but a wide face comes out of their nostrils! After graduating from college, I can't help laughing every time I see him ★☆ 14. Once I was shopping outside the store outside the station, a man suddenly rushed over and asked his comrades to pack sanitary napkins for me. The salesman and I were shocked and thought there was nothing. Maybe I bought it for his wife. The salesman immediately handed him a pack of sanitary napkins for daily use. He said in a hurry that it was not like this. I want men's sanitary napkins. At that time, the salesman and I both collapsed ... ★☆ 15. I went to my classmate's school for the holiday. It was a woman. She accompanied me around the school and passed a toilet. She said I had to go to the bathroom. Then I said I was leaving, too. So I turned and walked to the men's room. After that, I put the paper in my hand ... and then we looked at each other, watching ... she seemed to react suddenly, blushed and said, "Wipe your hands." ... I kept whispering in my heart: Don't you know that a boy just needs to shake it twice? ★☆ 16. There is a fool near the unit. It seems that he has done some surgery and broke his brain at once, so his nerves and brain are broken. Is it? Is it? I was in a hurry to do something. He came over and I saw that he seemed to want to talk to me. I immediately said: yes, yes, yes, ... As a result, that fool only said two words ... stupid x ... I almost fainted ★☆ 17. In junior high school. Another person was anxious and scolded: "Your deskmate is a NB!" The group of people who stayed with us burst into laughter ... ★☆ 18. In the Chinese class, the text talked about the harm of the environment, what was leaked, what was seriously polluted, and what was emotional. The 40-year-old Chinese aunt patted the podium angrily and said loudly, "You humans! I don't know how to protect the environment ! "The whole class petrochemical★☆19. When I was in college, I had to queue up at the gym to buy train tickets before the winter vacation next year. One year, when I was waiting in line, I suddenly felt someone stabbing me in the back. Looking back, my classmate handed me a piece of paper and opened it. It said, "I am a girl in a red sweater, about 20 meters behind me." ... "I looked back carefully and found her. Her face is red and very cute, which is exactly what I like. So I quickly read the contents behind the note: "I have an extra sleeper to Hangzhou." If anyone wants to buy it, please pass the note on ... "★☆ 20. One night when I passed the cemetery, I saw a fire. I thought it was a ghost fire, so I threw a brick and the fire moved to another grave. That man still has a brick, so I heard it? ***? You can't even shit. You get two bricks when you smoke? ★☆ 2 1. A new shop assistant remembers everything. An old lady bought a bottle of soy sauce. The clerk said, "I charged you xx yuan, and this is your change. Do you need a straw? The old lady suddenly fainted ... ★☆ 22. Once after school, my deskmate asked me to have dinner with her. When she left, she kindly reminded me to "go to the toilet". I may just want to eat, and then blurt out "I'm not hungry" ... Looking back, my deskmate squatted on the ground laughing.